Is that what's out here today?

[strenght81]

Lately I have been running into men who know absolutely NOTHING about wining and dining a woman! I have met several men within the last couple of years, whom, before we even go out on a first date, are asking me during phone conversations "do you plan to buy me something" ...erplexed I will admit to taking certain things a bit too seriously at times, but I don't like men jokingly (or not) ask me about buying them anything, especially if we're not in a relationship. I see it as a clear sign to who they really are, a man who wants a woman to take care of them. I'm a very honest and blunt person, I tell them straight up, "I DON'T DO THAT"!!!! It turns me off, so much so I don't want to go out on a date with them, although I do anyway. I try not to hold it against them, but, my instincts are always correct in the long wrong. They are LOSERS!!

Am I the only one meeting these type of men?

I need some feedback ladies. How do (would) you approach these situations? Maybe i'm giving out the wrong signals. *shrugs*

 

[Rastafarai]

Maybe you need to examine the type of men you not only run into but exchange contact information with. Maybe you're attracting the wrong type of men into your life?

Also, why even entertain going anywhere with them if its a turn off for you? Please stop wasting your time.

But to answer your question, these are all types of men out there who you will cross paths with, but its up to you to set the boundaries and not tolerate or settle for less.

 

[strenght81]

Maybe you need to examine the type of men you not only run into but exchange contact information with. Maybe you're attracting the wrong type of men into your life?

Also, why even entertain going anywhere with them if its a turn off for you? Please stop wasting your time.

But to answer your question, these are all types of men out there who you will cross paths with, but its up to you to set the boundaries and not tolerate or settle for less.

Thank you for your advice.

To the bolded, you're right! Although I do agree, so many people have been in my ear lately, telling me to stop cutting men off because of "litle things". Therefore I decided to atleast give these guys the benefit of the doubt, only to be left dissapointed every time. I have some set standards but I try to give everyone a fair chance since I do tend to cross out so many, so quickly. I'm learning to lighten up, but at the same time I feel like i'm settling because most men I have dated are no good.

 

[Bunny77]

Thank you for your advice.

To the bolded, you're right! Although I do agree, so many people have been in my ear lately, telling me to stop cutting men off because of "litle things". Therefore I decided to atleast give these guys the benefit of the doubt, only to be left dissapointed every time. I have some set standards but I try to give everyone a fair chance since I do tend to cross out so many, so quickly. I'm learning to lighten up, but at the same time I feel like i'm settling because most men I have dated are no good.

Well, I'm a fan of the crossing men off the list/cutting them out quickly plan... it worked for me.

I guess though you should make sure that you're crossing them off the list for REAL dealbreakers... not because he's a little shorter or has less hair than you might like (just an example... not saying you do this.).

But cutting a dude off for poor behavior? Oh yes, I will do that in an instant!

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Well, I'm a fan of the crossing men off the list/cutting them out quickly plan... it worked for me.

I guess though you should make sure that you're crossing them off the list for REAL dealbreakers... not because he's a little shorter or has less hair than you might like (just an example... not saying you do this.).

But cutting a dude off for poor behavior? Oh yes, I will do that in an instant!

I need these two words for another thread...

It sounds like something is being said within those conversations to make you have the suga momma effect...***wishing there was a chat room on here where we could talk on mics...I digress***

Anywho,

Where are you meeting these guys??? Is it a particular spot as it sounds like its a bunch of bummy ninja's waiting in line for you somewhere...Maybe you can try different social settings or atmosphere where you can meet someone of a likened mind...and I'm sure your not the only one who is running into this as some of my single females thinks its a plaque with men these days who don't want to wine and dine...I have a friend who constantly has guys asking to make the first date a Blockbuster night...*rolls eye*the right one*

 

[CandiedLipgloss]

Oh yes mam, fully understand. I've met plenty of those in my day. Actually the last guy I talked to for only a week and never met, asked me if I was getting my mother anything for Xmas, and then had the nerve to ask me what I was getting him. Loser BYE! That amongst other things got him cut off asap.
It's sickening, so I know how you feel hun.

 

[chelleypie810]

Yup me and my friends complain about this all the time. What happened to dating? Damn i can't even get dinner or anything nowadays. It's almost like a privilege to go on a date. NOT in my lifetime.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I want a guy to put in time and effort with me, not money. If he's broke he can always think of non-traditional dates. Usually when guys spend a lot of money taking me out and buying me gifts I feel like they are only trying to buy my p@ssy.

 

[Bunny77]

I want a guy to put in time and effort with me, not money. If he's broke he can always think of non-traditional dates. Usually when guys spend a lot of money taking me out and buying me gifts I feel like they are only trying to buy my p@ssy.

Ideally, they should do both to a level that they can afford.

I know this differs depending on how old you are though.

A man should also be demonstrating his ability to be a provider in the future through dates. Now if he's younger and broke because he's young, that's different. You do what you can. He doesn't have to throw a lot of cash and gifts at you, but he shouldn't only be doing free things either. Time and effort are nice, but that alone is not acceptable either.

"Blockbuster Nights" are not acceptable as dates.

 

[Seraphina]

Unfortunately I've been seeing this sort of mentality well on the rise lately. Men are pulling a lot of this "What are you gonna do for me" type crap on women and I find it annoying. And all these dating shows on TV like Ray J, the Bachelor, Bret Michaels, Real & Chance, etc. where women are competing against each other to win them a man are not helping. We've allowed men to see themselves as such prizes that they all feel entitled to the hottest women who should then take care of them, cause if she don't like it, he'll find it elsewhere.

I swear it's an epidemic in America. Prolly why my last two relationships were with non-American men.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Ideally, they should do both to a level that they can afford.

I know this differs depending on how old you are though.

A man should also be demonstrating his ability to be a provider in the future through dates. Now if he's younger and broke because he's young, that's different. You do what you can. He doesn't have to throw a lot of cash and gifts at you, but he shouldn't only be doing free things either. Time and effort are nice, but that alone is not acceptable either.

"Blockbuster Nights" are not acceptable as dates.

I agree 100%...

Bunny, since I always get the *sad eye* when I tell my gurls this, may I have you to explain why it is not acceptable? *Do I need to start a thread on this? Cause I have a feeling that alot think it is*

 

[phynestone]

^^^^^You're absolutely right. It's just easier access for them without having to work so hard.

 

[strenght81]

It's great to know i'm not alone in this. These type of men are everywhere.

I need these two words for another thread...

It sounds like something is being said within those conversations to make you have the suga momma effect...***wishing there was a chat room on here where we could talk on mics...I digress***

Anywho,

Where are you meeting these guys??? Is it a particular spot as it sounds like its a bunch of bummy ninja's waiting in line for you somewhere...Maybe you can try different social settings or atmosphere where you can meet someone of a likened mind...and I'm sure your not the only one who is running into this as some of my single females thinks its a plaque with men these days who don't want to wine and dine...I have a friend who constantly has guys asking to make the first date a Blockbuster night...*rolls eye*the right one*

I meet these men at the gym, grocery store, walking down the street, etc. Most of these men I date have good jobs, as I do. that is why I.don't.get.it! I agree about changing my social scene, that's a must.

I've been reading "the secret" lately, i'm learning alot about what I am really putting out into the universe, to meet these men. I must change my thinking, in order to get better. I have been limiting myself for quite sometime now....

 

[awhyley]

I agree 100%...

Bunny, since I always get the *sad eye* when I tell my gurls this, may I have you to explain why it is not acceptable? *Do I need to start a thread on this? Cause I have a feeling that alot think it is*

Ok, I'm gonna do it; what's wrong with 'Blockbuster nights'?

 

[strenght81]

Ok, I'm gonna do it; what's wrong with 'Blockbuster nights'?

blockbuster night on the 7th date andy beyond is okay. I wouldn't suggest it for the 1st few...nooo! That's how they trap you gurl...