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Is it Really Hard ...to be natural?!

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No. It's not really hard to be natural. I'm black and I have type 4 hair. I wear it out and in it's natural state 95%+ of the time. I haven't gotten any flack from family or friends, strangers or business associates over my natural hair...go figure :ohwell:
 
Being natural was not hard for me before I found the hair forums and decided to grow my hair longer. Trying to have long, loose, very kinky hair has proved very difficult for me. I seem to either be able to do my hair quickly and break it off, or not break it off but take a very long time being gentle with it.

In terms of societal pressure, I was natural for most of my life, but so was most of my family. But they wore their hair straight (press and curl) and so did I. So when I decided to start wearing my actual texture, I got some family flack for that. No one ever said I need to get a perm, well, one person that I can think of. Everyone else just said I need to "press that mess" or something like that. They told me that it would hurt me in looking for a job and guys would be all over me if I straightened. So surely there is the idea that my hair type is not the prettiest, that it's not professional, etc. Oh well, they (family) got over it.
 
For me personally, it’s not hard.
I feel it all boils down to self-confidence and proper hair care. If you’re not totally secure with wearing your natural God-given hair then yeah it will be really hard for someone who constantly worries about what other people may think of their natural hair, and if someone doesn’t have a clue on how to properly care for their natural hair of course it’s going to be an uphill battle.
 
gissellr78 said:
and btw i am also Dominican and we are not the only land of black denial. LATIN AMERICA in general has the same perception as all society does across the globe. which is sad.
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Hey Dominicana! I'm from DR too :drunk:
Not all Dominicans feel this way. Not only did I transition to natural, so did my sister (she is a member here) and her daughter. Out of all my cousins only 1 uses a relaxer. I was brought up in the 70's during the "I'm black and I'm proud" time and it really helped me realize how beautiful my skin color is :yep:

But anyway, you guys all made great valid points. I think that if you transitioned at one point in your life, its VERY traumatic to all of a sudden see yourself in a TWA and your straight hair is gone. Hey I had waves, curls, etc.. and it was still a shock to me. It took me months to transition my mind. Its been a year and I've JUST STARTED to figure out hair styles. I'm 37 and its hard to start over. To me its not an option though, natural is how its going to be for the rest of my life.
 
You have to get through that mental transition first. Once you get through that, it should be smooth sailing. I've been natural 2 years now and I'm cool with it. It did take some getting used to at first though.
 
Being natural is not hard at all. The only challenge for me is styling and finding time to do it.
 
It has not been hard for me to be natural. I haven't run into a lot of negativity. Maybe because I am a pretty positive person when it comes to my hair. Maybe some people are thinking negatively about my hair or giving me the look, but I don't notice it because I love my natural hair and I am not focused on what other people think about it. If they hate it, that is their problem not mine. There are some ignorant stereotypes about hair types, but no one has ever approached me with that nonsense.
 
gissellr78 said:
I think natural black hair is very nice...I've actually found myself drooling over some cute naturals in the train.....When natural hair is not taken care of then it looks like a hot mess regarding of texture.

I am relaxed and i take care of my hair with lots of conditioning and i like it that way. Besides being natural is a decision that comes from inside. I haven't given the thought that much.....and is haaaaard to think that i will cut all my hair off lol. But if i do i would rock my fro without caring what people think.

and btw i am also Dominican and we are not the only land of black denial. LATIN AMERICA in general has the same perception as all society does across the globe. which is sad.
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Oh i know that is latin america in general. But since i am dominican, i am only speaking of the experiences that i have gone through. I don't know how is it for the other latinos. I believe for us is different, cuz out of the all the latinos country i think we and brazil have the higher percentage of african blood. Correct me if i am wrong but i am pretty sure. I agree, it is PRETTY SAD, the dr's population like 96% percent is black or mix, and we have all this problem with color, hair texture and so on....it is beyond sad.
 
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I can't speak for everyone else. But has it been hard for me to be natural? HELL FREAKIN' NO! Giving a damn about who doesn't like my natural hair is NOT an option.
 
As much as I "complain" it's really no more difficult than my relaxed hair which pretty much isn't difficult at all:look:. I have no detangling issues or the like unless I do not moisturize or completely neglect my hair; although my BC made my hair shed more than usual. I prefer wearing my hair in its curly state, but I often rollerset it for ease of styling (I don't have to wash my hair but every 5-7 days vs. every 3 when its curly). Overall I love being natural and do not plan to EVER relax my hair again. It behaves much better and my styles in general last much longer...plus my hair is much healthier and shinier, especially after a fresh set or flat iron.
 
I'm not fully natural, transitioning though. It's not hard to be natural though. It seems to be all about detangling and finding the right moisturizer.

The hard part for some may be family/friends/coworkers. I only have 2 natural friends, one from work (not in my office though) & one is a stay at home mom. Everyone else is relaxed. However, I have to admit that it's workplace culture that keeps most of them relaxing. The 2 natural friends don't have to worry about law office politics when making a decision about how to wear their hair. All of my other friends are in Corporate America and they don't wear any kind of perceived ethnic style (braids, locs, cornrows, twists).

I have worn my afro puff (phony pony) to work for weeks and so far those who comment really like it. Pics are in my fotki.
 
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hard no not really i have hit bumps on the road but so does everyone

i use to feel strange wearing out my fro but not any more my hair is different and i like it

as long as my hair is moisturised and detangled me and my hair are good. i don't get much stupid comments but i have also learned how it handel it.

i just love being natural to much to think about change:grin:
my hair has been almost MBL and it wasn't to hard so i look forward to getting a huge mass of hair
 
For me, I have found it hard to be natural because I was not educated on how to care for natural hair. I can't braid or cornrow, but I did learn how to flat twist. I am learning how to care for natural hair and I think this time will be different because I am better educated and I have a better support system.
 
Uhm, self-esteem hard? Then it used to be hard for me. I mean, in my schools from middle to high school, natural hair was the exception not the rule. I felt the odd girl out, being the only one w/o my hair relaxed because my mom told me "Not till you're 18". I used to have some self esteem issues about my hair but that was before I knew how to care for it. Now I'm cool.:grin: And I thank God my mom didn't relax my hair. Because I know, as much problems I had caring for my natural hair, it would've been 10x worse if I had to care for chemically altered hair.

Now I'm fine with my natural hair. I still don't like the occasional bad hair day, but dangit it's MY hair growing outta MY head. I remember this guy from one class last year told me I was cute and later asked "Why don't you perm your hair?" I responded "Why does my hair need to be straight?" Pissed me off, and I stood up for my hair. I mean, most of the girls I see walking around with relaxed hair in high school do not know how to care for it sadly. I know that, knowing how little I knew before, that my hair would've looked the same way if it was relaxed. Now that I've been here and seen proper care, I know that when I do decide to chemically alter my hair, I'll be informed and properly equipped to take care of it.

Now as for maintenance....Day to day I'm fine. I keep my hair in plaits and just bun it for the winter. 5 minutes to moisturize and go. Doesn't look the cutest, but I don't really care that much. I got tired of taking hours braiding it into braids on saturday after spending a while washing and conditioning etc. I have saturday wash days, and for me that's a whole day affair...Between washing, conditioning, and detangling, that could be my afternoon and night. So I just stopped doing small braided/twist styles.

But, I understand, different people spend different amount of time on their hair. I think the only time I consider my hair difficult is on my saturday wash day.:perplexed Ask me then if my natural hair is hard, and I will say "yes". The other 6 days of the week, I'll prolly say "sometimes." But, I think it depends on your hair. It's more than just hair type. It's the thickness of your individual strands and hair density that plays a role in it as well. Oh, and the shrinkage factor too.
 
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I really appreciate all these :spinning: replies. From reading many threads on naturals I just got th impression that having natural hair (afro textured) especiall in the States was a feat of its own and I wanted to understand why ? Now I do relatives in the States and I haven't seen them and they moved from NJ to Pensylvannia, for those who live there have you found it here hard or encountered any problems in terms of people's mindsets towards naturals?!
 
larry3344 said:
I really appreciate all these :spinning: replies. From reading many threads on naturals I just got th impression that having natural hair (afro textured) especiall in the States was a feat of its own and I wanted to understand why ? Now I do relatives in the States and I haven't seen them and they moved from NJ to Pensylvannia, for those who live there have you found it here hard or encountered any problems in terms of people's mindsets towards naturals?!
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Not at all. By the time I transitioned and did the BC I had an idea on how to take care of my natural hair and kept it looking decent. I won't lie I got teased a little bit from a few people, not many. I got everything from "did you get a jerri curl?" to "don't come back here until you comb your hair" (my bald grandfather LOL) I think it was the WAY I responded that made people stop, umm I IGNORED them. I had to walk with confidence, even on days where I felt like POOP. I am definitely more confident now. I don't even need to find comfort in my long straight hair anymore. I am convinced that focusing on my OWN hair and not how so and so has her hair helped me transition my mind and find the beauty in my hair.
 
Honestly, I can see why the OP would have the impression people in the states find it hard to be natural.

Its nice to see a lot of positivity in this thread but there have been many threads/posts bemoaning the difficulty of being natural because of manageability or social issues. Some people admitted that they wouldn't be natural if their hair was not curly or fine (in other words they wouldn't be natural if their hair was "nappy")...

For me its a mixed bag. Whether you are in Africa or the Diaspora, it depends on how/where you grew up, etc. Some people do find it harder for a variety of reasons, and other people find it easier.
 
larry3344 said:
Just so that we are on the same page here, I live in Canada and maybe that's why the mentalities may be slightly different I am not too sure. But if there are any Canadian ladies out there may be you have had different experiences; I just feel like anytime I read any thread that has to do with naturals (I am natural myself and had my BC in late August) people are always complaining about the way that they're natural hair is perceived.

Or that their texture is not soft enough to be natural, I know that afro textured hair is a hassle to comb, believe me I never look forward to getting my hair done. But once it was properly moisturized it really was not that bad and to clarify my hairtype is 4b-z or whatever it is called.

Yet many women that I see on this forum have a looser texture or a combo of textures. From what I understand, there's a level of insecurity to do with Black hair but is it really as bad as people making it sound? I mean live in a more predominant white neigborhood and most people that have encountered are fascinated with my hair texture. Even my own family and friend (black people) are more interested in the length of our hair then the texture. I mean you can have the coarsest hair in the world but if it is long that is all people really care about.

Another thing why do many people assume that having curly hair is easier to manage or that you have to be mixed race to have a certain hairtype. There are many Africans who have softer/curly hair textures if you will, and are not just located in East Africa or mixed. I may sound a bit bias for saying this from what I often read many opinions about Africans are filled with assumptions. Africa is a big continent with A LOT of diversity there's is no single hairtype or features or skin colour or anything.

I apologize if I sound like I am ranting t just seems to me that anything that is related to africa sounds so 1D and just frustrates the hell out of me. One of the many misconception that most African people wear their hair naturally...actually most relax, there are so many things that have been said on this forum that I just wish people would ask before they assume.

I undertand that people of african descent have been dispersed hence the diaspora but it almost seems to me that many people of the diaspora hold so much resentment towards africa. I mean I expect that from people of other races but not from my own, can't we all get along afro americans, afro-latinos, etc...


P.S. Sorry for the extremely long post I just had to let it all out:yawn:
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For me, it's not hard to be natural at all.

I feel your frustration in your post, and I agree that it can be disheartening when black people seem to be have the most negative thoughts about natural hair. Even on this board, seeing post after post saying "I could never be natural:nono:" or "I can't take my natural hair anymore!" is just weird.

You know what, though? Natural hair is beautiful. Type 4 hair is beautiful. As long as you know that, and you clearly do, that's all that matters. :yep:
 
OUr hair becomes hard when we try to make it do things it doesn't want to do. Trying to constantly wear hair straight or to get kinky hair to curl will create frustration and make it appear that our hair is hard to deal with. I agree w/alot of your post and appreciate your perspective. I have days when I get tired of my hair and feel like it's taking me a long time to detangle but then I realize that my hair is past APL and it requires more attention, my relaxed hair was never this long so I don't know that it would have been any easier. I also agree that we need to understand that their is diversity in our heritage, we have once concept of what AFrican textured hair is.

In terms of perception I get lots of compliments on my hair. Most of the insults/negativity I have gotten has been from other black women unfortunately. My mother hated my hair when I first went natural but I think that was more because it was short. She is still waiting for me to get my hair "done" though.
 
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Violets-are-blue said:
Uhm, self-esteem hard? Then it used to be hard for me. I mean, in my schools from middle to high school, natural hair was the exception not the rule. I felt the odd girl out, being the only one w/o my hair relaxed because my mom told me "Not till you're 18". I used to have some self esteem issues about my hair but that was before I knew how to care for it. Now I'm cool.:grin: And I thank God my mom didn't relax my hair. Because I know, as much problems I had caring for my natural hair, it would've been 10x worse if I had to care for chemically altered hair.

Now I'm fine with my natural hair. I still don't like the occasional bad hair day, but dangit it's MY hair growing outta MY head. I remember this guy from one class last year told me I was cute and later asked "Why don't you perm your hair?" I responded "Why does my hair need to be straight?" Pissed me off, and I stood up for my hair. I mean, most of the girls I see walking around with relaxed hair in high school do not know how to care for it sadly. I know that, knowing how little I knew before, that my hair would've looked the same way if it was relaxed. Now that I've been here and seen proper care, I know that when I do decide to chemically alter my hair, I'll be informed and properly equipped to take care of it.
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I love that! I appreciate your perspective...I worry about this for when my dd starts school. I hope I am able to instill confidence in her so that she wears her natural hair with pride.

I've noticed that when I feel good, I look good and I think people pick up on that. :yep:
 
Thanks again ladies, I guess form what I've understood it is a matter of confidence and self-esteem. Thankfully I've never dealt with relatives or my own parents looking down on my natural hair but I see that this is not a common experience for many and I can understand why it is harder for some than others. I appreciate the responses :blush:!
:yawn:
 
lauren450 said:
I love that! I appreciate your perspective...I worry about this for when my dd starts school. I hope I am able to instill confidence in her so that she wears her natural hair with pride.

I've noticed that when I feel good, I look good and I think people pick up on that. :yep:
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Thanks =]

I think, when you get to pre-teen/teen years, it's sometimes hard to be different, especially when you might wanna do what most of the other girls do.
But she has a mom with beautiful natural hair to inspire and help her. And I know, having a LHCF mom, she'll have beautiful hair too. There'll prolly be times she might ask for it to be straighthened or even relaxed, (or not =]), but I think in the long run she'll definitely appreciate having her natural texture.
I know I do now.:yep:
 
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