It's Easier to be Natural If...

[UmSumayyah]

I know how you feel. I'm about 12 weeks post with a box of Phyto patiently waiting for the 14 week mark. But I'm playing in my newgrowth everyday wondering if I just shouldn't start transitioning now. It's not like I wear it straight more than once a year anyway.

 

[Candy_C]

I know how you feel. I'm about 12 weeks post with a box of Phyto patiently waiting for the 14 week mark. But I'm playing in my newgrowth everyday wondering if I just shouldn't start transitioning now. It's not like I wear it straight more than once a year anyway.

thats exactly what i'm thinking. if i go and relax again, that would put my 3months natural growth behind.

i'm juss gonna let go and do it, i mean if i dont like it, i can always relax again! its no biggy

 

[Southernbella.]

Why relaxed heads stay out of these threads: Exhibit A.

OK?

 

[Southernbella.]

Yep, I read your earlier posts. I would never reply to someone's post without doing that. But this is a lonnnng thread, 18 pages, so I could have missed something. So I just went through all 18 pages AGAIN, and I did find this one quote from you. "I love my relaxed hair, and think it's beautiful, but I also love my naps." I did not find one quote where you actually said that natural hair was beautiful, not one. My point is just that you do not seem like you are passionate about natural hair and like I said that is fine if that is the case but I believe you have to be passionate about something if you intend to be a motivating force on the subject. That is all.

And please don't think of my posts as another natural putting down a relaxed head. This is my opinion about your particular posts in this thread. Since joining LHCF I have encountered many relaxed heads who seem to LOVE and EMBRACE their natural hair, they seem to cherish it even though they choose to relax and prefer straight styles, etc. And I've come across many naturals on here who seem to love and adore silky, straight relaxed hair but simply prefer to wear their hair in its natural state. So, yes I think it is possible for naturals to appreciate relaxed hair and relaxed women to appreciate natural hair, I just don't get from your posts that you feel that way.

My teenaged daughter is relaxed, I take her every 8 weeks or so to get her hair relaxed. It is silky and pretty and long and I tell her so all of the time. I've also told her that if she ever wants to transition, just say the word, and I will help her. At the moment she is not interested. My younger daughter is natural and I am equally passionate about her hair. We play in her hair and talk about how pretty, springy, healthy and long it is.

If I am misunderstanding your posts, I apologize, but when I read through your posts and realized that you did not once say that natural hair was beautiful but instead chose to say that it wasn't ugly, I was offended. And when you seemed so passionate about "not" celebrating natural hair, I felt compelled to say something.

OK, I didn't realize I had to shout from the rooftops that I think natural hair beautiful. I've said it before on this forum. For the record, I think some natural hair is beautiful in the same way I think some relaxed hair is beautiful. I think it's beautiful when people embrace their natural hair, and I think naps are beautiful in and of themselves, but I don't think every natural head I see is beautiful because I've seen some that just aren't healthy (same as relaxed hair).

The reason I talked about not celebrating natural hair is because I was informed that as a relaxed head that's never been natural, I can't celebrate natural hair. I don't know all the rules, so I decided to err on the side of caution. If the rules have in fact changed, and I'm allowed to celebrate now, you guys let me know.

 

[PaperClip]

The reason I talked about not celebrating natural hair is because I was informed that as a relaxed head that's never been natural, I can't celebrate natural hair. I don't know all the rules, so I decided to err on the side of caution. If the rules have in fact changed, and I'm allowed to celebrate now, you guys let me know.

I'll be glad to share this:
We all are natural coming out of the womb, and however the social programming occured (either in the home or in the external environment), a message was sent that communicated the following in some form or fashion:

Straight hair is better/more acceptable than natural (unprocessed) hair

which is the mirror image of

natural (unprocessed) hair is acceptable and celebrated in society.

I don't backtrack from the point that it's hard to hear a celebration about natural hair when all the party decorations scream STRAIGHT. That's why I have to put up a "caution" mode on my end so, as I have said before, I am not led into temptation. That's my responsibility and if my defense comes off a bit harsh, I apologize for HOW I said it (tone), not necessarily what I said (content).

And with regard to the point about relaxed heads not wanting to participate in discussions about natural hair, I'm thinking that's a reflection and projection of one's insecurity.... It seems that there are plenty of PROUD relaxed heads of have NO PROBLEM contributing to conversations relating to natural hair and kicking some knowledge that cannot be disputed. To them, I say KEEP DO YOUR THING.

Now if a personal attack is going on, that's a different story and deserves to be addressed accordingly.

 

[FeelinIt]

Countrygal & Tene: I agree with you. It is all in the attitude. If you don't care then you don't care and you do what you want.

lol@ MizaniMami's post. I feel you...Maybe this is me being vain, young, superficial or whatever, but sometimes I'm like why would I choose to be considered (not actually) kinda cute over fine if I have the option to be considered fine? I hate that I feel that way and wish I had Countrygal's attitude, but I don't right now.

Sometimes I wonder if geography is part of it. I am from Cali and people seem more accepting of natural hair in other places I've been (East coast especially)

I too hate it when I hear people say its' not hard to deal with natural hair...it's all about knowledge. From where I sit, that sounds like B.S. to me sometimes. I did have natural hair when I was younger. My mom is one of those African women, straight from the continent who knew how to take care of it, braid it, thread it, style it, etc. But it took WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY longer to do, and was WAAAAAAAAYYYYYY more painful then when I relaxed. For someone with very dense, tightly coiled strands who is very busy, braids or a relaxer is the easiest option. The manageability of natural hair is another huge consideration for me.

At the end of the day though, I still do wish I was fully natural. I just don't know if I can handle all that comes with it (society, time commitment, etc) right now.

Child I feel that PAIN and the time it takes to do natural hair. It has it's advantages and disadvantages. When it rained....I didn't care. When it came time to styling it and detangling...pain, pain, pain! I'm also EXTREMELY tenderheaded. Sometimes I think GOD played a cruel joke on me. I've gotten to the point where I'm so upset I just curse GOD and cry, cry cry because it would just hurt so bad to do my hair.

So I recently permed it and for a while I liked it. NOW I HATE IT. I got the you should comb your hair comments but for real, I just didn't care and it actually made me angry. I LOVED my natural hair when it would act right so as of right now, I'm going natural again for the third time.

I do honestly though wish my texture was a little looser. It would make styling so much more easier. My scalp is SOOO sensative and to deal with my dense coiled hair is a pain literally.

And people for the most part, loved my hair and wish they had the guts to go natural like me. I liked being natural because most of the black women i was around had straight hair and that set me apart. I liked that a lot. I also liked the attention when I would wear my BAF. It was fun. I can't wait until it grows back out...

 

[FeelinIt]

JCoily and nurse98, I'm not understanding this "yung'n" comment. I don't know how much older you all are, but I'm 22 years old and feel the same way as you all. I did not have more to overcome when I went natural. I didn't even care about what the society thinks or what the media portrayed. So what are you all talking about? I think age is truly irrelevant to your natural hair journey and challenges. I'm sure you can find some people 30 and up who are bounded by the society's standards of beauty.

You're right about 30+ having issues about natural hair. I work with them all around campus. When I say I'm going back natural they all turn screw face!

And texture all though somewhat relavent doesn't seem to matter to some either. I work with a lady in her late 40's who has that 3C textured hair but would never go natural. She just doesn't think it's beautiful. I'm looking at her like WTF.

 

[sylver2]

For years my daughter has been wanting to relax and I refused to let her. Saying when she is 16 maybe. So needless to say she has been counting the years..lol
She will be 15 this year and I had a talk with her. I showed her some pics from some of our natural ladies albums. I also told her I will probably be going that route in the near future and I will take her to a natural salon b4 school starts so she can get twists.. so now she is all excited about remaining natural.

 

[sareca]

OK?

Dang, Lauren look at all that long, beautiful hair. When God said he wanted us to use our hair as a covering, I don't think he meant a blanket!

 

[hopeful]

OK, I didn't realize I had to shout from the rooftops that I think natural hair beautiful. I've said it before on this forum. For the record, I think some natural hair is beautiful in the same way I think some relaxed hair is beautiful. I think it's beautiful when people embrace their natural hair, and I think naps are beautiful in and of themselves, but I don't think every natural head I see is beautiful because I've seen some that just aren't healthy (same as relaxed hair).

The reason I talked about not celebrating natural hair is because I was informed that as a relaxed head that's never been natural, I can't celebrate natural hair. I don't know all the rules, so I decided to err on the side of caution. If the rules have in fact changed, and I'm allowed to celebrate now, you guys let me know.

You don't have to shout anything from the rooftops but there certainly is a difference between saying something isn't ugly vs. it is beautiful. I was only referring to your posts on this thread because I don't know what you've said in other threads, how could I? And I think it's a load of crap that you don't celebrate natural hair because you were informed you couldn't, please. Informed by whom? The natural gods? You know what? You can celebrate natural hair or not, you can shout your beliefs from the rooftops or not, whatever floats your boat. I said what I had to say and I am done.

 

[Candiss]

Goodness Gracious, you sound very angry. What's going on? I really don't believe that lauren450 is trying to "duke" it out with you. Sounds like she was taking the time to explain her post better, which is what you wanted. But I guess since you said what you had to say and are now done you won't be coming back to read this. Also, I have to say, it's easy to be natural when you take your hair for what it is and don't compare it to your previous permed hair or anyone else's (be they a permie or a natural). You have to give yourself time to get to know your hair and what works for you. You also have to understand that (dare I say it?) kinky/nappy/highly textured hair is different than hair that is straight or wavy. So you really can't think about your natural in terms of how you thought about permed hair. It is a totally different mindset. And you also realize that what works for one natural doesn't work for another. I don't do afros, I don't really like wearing my hair out at all. I don't like trying a lot of different styles. I like my twists. They are easy to maintain and look very flattering on me. So now my routine is easy as can be. My hair likes lots of moisture and hair vitamins. Now that I have this knowledge, its easy. It had nothing to do with having a certain hair texture. I'm a 4b and it's all good.

 

[sylver2]

You don't have to shout anything from the rooftops but there certainly is a difference between saying something isn't ugly vs. it is beautiful. I was only referring to your posts on this thread because I don't know what you've said in other threads, how could I? And I think it's a load of crap that you don't celebrate natural hair because you were informed you couldn't, please. Informed by whom? The natural gods? You know what? You can celebrate natural hair or not, you can shout your beliefs from the rooftops or not, whatever floats your boat. I said what I had to say and I am done.

WoW..tell em why u mad son.....

 

[hopeful]

LOL I am not mad. Just tired. I just didn't want to keep going round and round because I could tell we simply disagreed. It's all good though. I rarely argue with anyone on this board or in real life. I figure live and let live.

 

[Southernbella.]

quote=hopeful]LOL I am not mad. Just tired. I just didn't want to keep going round and round because I could tell we simply disagreed. It's all good though. I rarely argue with anyone on this board or in real life. I figure live and let live.[/quote]

I was simply answering your question. You were the one telling me how you think I feel from what I typed in a few posts. I didn't realize my posts were being analyzed so closely, otherwise I guess I would have made myself clearer or worded things differently.

At any rate, I feel how I feel and you feel how you feel, so I guess that's the end of it. No hard feelings or anything.

Dang, Lauren look at all that long, beautiful hair. When God said he wanted us to use our hair as a covering, I don't think he meant a blanket

LOL! It's a hot blanket though. It's 90 degrees here!

 

[hopeful]

I was simply answering your question. You were the one telling me how you think I feel from what I typed in a few posts. I didn't realize my posts were being analyzed so closely, otherwise I guess I would have made myself clearer or worded things differently.

At any rate, I feel how I feel and you feel how you feel, so I guess that's the end of it. No hard feelings or anything.



LOL! It's a hot blanket though. It's 90 degrees here!

I agree, no hard feelings.