INTIMACY COMPATIBILITY

[TinyBlu]

Ok.... that's about as politically correctly as I could put it.

Story: Woman determines that her "list" may be a little too long and demanding and opts for a gentleman that treats her well. The clincher: they are less than compatible in bed.

Here's my issue... this guy is really nice and sweet. He was actually very patient and waited until I was ready to enter the physical part of the relationship. He's very loving and attentive... believes in a lot of caressing... a great kisser... BUT

(clearing throat) He STOPS at the belly button... get my drift?

add that to the fact that he's not "blessed" in the lower regions and you have a recipe for sexual frustration.

I've researched positions and even found snugger fit prophylactics to help with the size issue, but he STOPS AT THE BELLY BUTTON!!!

I have tired of the guys that can make me scream their names in ten languages but treat me as member of their personal harem, and this guy really is sweet, BUT... I'm not getting what I need sexually.

Where's the balance in compromise? Is it too much to ask for someone to please my body AND take care of my heart?

Real talk... if he would move a little lower, I could easily excuse the lack of size.

Is there a tactful way to approach the subject?

BTW... I am very open minded about this act and have no problems engaging, BUT its a two way street. Hence, I stop at the belly button as well...

Never had this issue....

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Have you expressed your need for oral sex?

Random: I feel like a hypocrite asking with that bible verse in my siggy.

 

[TinyBlu]

Have you expressed your need for oral sex?

Random: I feel like a hypocrite asking with that bible verse in my siggy.

Good question... not yet. I'm working on a way to tactfully approach it (this is the first time I've ever had to ASK for it).

 

[CityGirlLuv]

Delete (10 char)

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Tag DarkJoy she gets down...

 

[DarkJoy]

Tag DarkJoy she gets down...

Calling me a freak? Its true. I ain't shame!

OP, ask outside of a sexual situation like in the car or over dinner what he likes in the sack. If he doesn't mention oral then you ask about it. Be casual like. Don't look too intense about it. You will have your answer. If he says he likes to go down then say hey, you want to experience that action. If he doesn't then...idk what to tell you. Not liking it is a dealbreaker for me. Can't imagine the last 40 years of my life without it.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I didn't understand what you meant at first.

Maybe he's not into it. I agree with Darkjoy. You're both adults, so just ask him about his sexual likes. If he doesn't mention oral, ask him how he feels about it.

 

[kupenda]

Is it a deal breaker?

For me, it absolutely is. I've always heard that guys that aren't as endowed should up their foreplay game. Cant imagine not receiving a lil love there. Geez. Just thinking about it is irritating. Sorry op

 

[CharlieEcho]

I think you need to help him get to the promise land lol. Ask him when you're not in an intimate situation why he doesn't go further and tell him the importance of sexual chemistry in a relationship for you
Do you stop at the belly too? Oral is a two way street.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[hopeful]

Is it a deal breaker? For me, it absolutely is. I've always heard that guys that aren't as endowed should up their foreplay game. Cant imagine not receiving a lil love there. Geez. Just thinking about it is irritating. Sorry op

@ the bolded, I felt irritated too . If it were me I think I would make sure she was extra fresh and clean and sweet smelling, and when he stopped at my belly I'd say, "Are you really going to stop there and miss the good stuff? She's aching for your tongue and sweet lips." Okay not sure I'd have the nerve to do that but I'd like to think I would.

 

[TayMac]

That would be a dealbreaker for me. You don't have to do every encounter but on the first one, I expect to be impressed.

For the specific issue I prefer to be blunt. Like flat out ask "you don't eat p-y?" In fact, I would ask during that time so depending on the response I will get dressed and bounce.

 

[calm_delight]

Awesome advice given so far, talk to him about it.
Here is an awesome, hilarious, informative thread by winterinatl about this very subject: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=150733