Need advice

[Makenzie]

why is she settling if he is a good guy? all she has to do and tell him his weight and breath are a turn off! if he don't change, then she should bounce. i don't think anyone is saying she should settle. we are just saying, she should be honest. she has nothing to lose, only to gain either way.

remember that scene from Why Did I Get Married? jill scott's character kept knocking herself down about her weight. dude told her that it made him feel uncomfortable and if she was unhappy, she should do something about it. instead of just kicking her to the curb, a brother worked with her and she was willing to do the work.

Exactly. No woman, or man, should ever settle. But if changes are made and she finds she's now attracted to him, she's winning. If changes are not made, she cuts him loose because she already knows this is not what she wants. Seems simple to me.

 

[VelvetRain]

why is she settling if he is a good guy? all she has to do and tell him his weight and breath are a turn off! if he don't change, then she should bounce. i don't think anyone is saying she should settle. we are just saying, she should be honest. she has nothing to lose, only to gain either way.

remember that scene from Why Did I Get Married? jill scott's character kept knocking herself down about her weight. dude told her that it made him feel uncomfortable and if she was unhappy, she should do something about it. instead of just kicking her to the curb, a brother worked with her and she was willing to do the work.

Your entire post has me confused. Her comments, feelings, and questioning are clearly showing that he is not the guy for her. If you have to ask yourself a million and one questions and talk yourself into feeling someone then he ain't the man for you. Team stop settling. Women so quick to to want to make something work when it clearly isn't. Wasting all sorts of time in dead end relationships and ones they know their is no real future in.

Iv'e walked away quickly from men who I wasn't attracted to or the hygiene wasn't on point. Good guy or not I'm gone if I'm not feeling you.

 

[DragonPearl]

I wouldn't tell someone, you need to lose weight for me to be attracted to you. There is something about the weight issue which is too deep imo to have it stated as a condition for a relationship. It wouldn't be right if a guy told a woman you need to lose the pot belly so I can find you attractive. You are either turned on by someone or you're not.

But I think its okay to tell them the bad breath is a turnoff. Bad breath is something they need to know about and should try to fix.