In your opinion, do all men cheat?

[biancaelyse]

I definitely don't think that all men cheat, are dogs, etc. There are good men out there who love their wives and families and don't want to put their home life at risk.

There are some men and some women that are only as faithful as their options, as though they cannot exert much self control.

 

[dlewis]

We it comes down to it one person can't speak for another person. The only person I know hasn't cheated is me. I'm the only person I can speak for. Has Dh or any other man I've dated cheated? I can't be sure, I can say I don't believe so and that's it.

Who wants to spend their life wondering what the other person did/does anyway? Who wants to even date if the attitude is that "All men cheat"? I know I wouldn't.

 

[lux10023]

i do not think all men cheat....i dont think all men are dogs---

i actually think men r decent ppl and give everyone the benefit of the doubt period

i genuinely look for the good in ppl unless they give me clear indications that they r up to no good---ive also paid very close attention to the males in my family and they way in which theyve dealt with woman---

 

[*5+5]

It would be a Katrina of a generalization to say that allllll men cheat.
But a great majority of them do.

I'll say that most men prolly don't pursue affairs or a piece of pu**, but i'll say about a good proportion of men would prolly go for the opportunity of the pu** falling right into their laps giving the right set of circumstances.

 

[FlowerHair]

No, all men don't cheat.

My ex used to tell me which ones of his friends were notorious cheaters, but also pointed out which ones never cheated.

My gut already told me who the cheaters were, he just confirmed it for me.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

No because every man is an individual and can decide whether they want to cheat or not.

 

[Krymsonkween]

SMH so is it fair to say in this case all women of trolling for a sugar daddy. Which is what men say. All black women just want some1 to take care of there babies. Black women r on welfare and living in the projects with their baby daddies working the system. I am just saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know off hand 50 men I can say 5 of them r cheaters, but also the 5 of them their wives r a hot mess. Always fussing, don't wonna clean, don't wonna work and help but want to live the good life, and with hold sex as punishment.

For me all I can say is try to b a good wife. I have my faults I have never had the inclination that my husband would cheat. His ex-did 3x and he took her back trying to make thier marriage work for the children.

So do all women have the potiential to cheat?

 

[tiara76]

no not all men cheat
not all men who have cheated will always cheat, people are always changing

depends on the man and where he is with himself

 

[madamdot]

I don't think all men cheat. I don't think most men cheat. We just believe that because that's all we hear. We don't hear of the postitive marriage/relationshps because they don't have anything to complain about.

Thank you so much for this!!!

We NEVER EVER hear of the men who are faithful because who complains that their husband is faithful.

Even in Hollywood - think of all the actors and actresses you know ... as much as we hear of people cheating there are tons we never ever hear anything about and we just don't think about it because there is nothing to think.

This is something I learned the hard way: when I started dating DH I had a friend - who had never met him- say that she did not like him. Why? Because I was only talking to her about the bad things (which were not even that bad) but it made me realize that I never ever told her about the great things that were happening - we only go for advice on the bad things.

This is not to say that men are angels. Neither are women. I know lots of men and women who cheat. Even in my own family. The reason for cheating are often just plain old selfishness and they often live to regret it - whether or not they are caught. For some its a "status" thing. A lot of Jamaican men still get praised for cheating.

Of course no one ever talks about the ones that are hardworking faithful fathers and husbands because where is the sensation in that?

 

[msdeevee]

No , all men do not cheat.

I know many men that are married and faithful.

I think that most men have the opportunity to cheat all the time because of the great number of women out there that have no respect for the fact that a man is married involved or anything else . Some give into it but there are many that don't.

On top of that in this world it's almost expected and condoned for a man to cheat at least once.

 

[Lebiya]

No - and its not healthy for young girls or BOYS to grow up thinking all men do- and if I truly believed all men cheat I would NEVER get involved with one.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

that is nice to hear.

A few days after my 25th birthday, I'm now 32, I had a phone conversation where my mom told me that dad had cheated on her repeatedly.From the very beginning of their marriage. I was shocked, hurt, mad and confused. See to me it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything that I assumed was reality, truth was no longer it. I was living a lie and I had no clue what to go one ...to a point i started to wonder who I was.

I guess I was naive. I knew mom and dad argued all the time to a point that. Mom started living and sleeping in my room. They worked together and that was it. They barely ate at the same table.

Then after 30 plus years, mom sat with dad . She told him that she knew everything...he couldn't even look her in the eyes. He was crying like a baby and was ashamed.

Me on the other hand, seeing what mom went through..I felt like I was in a 30 plus marriage...I guess its the reason why I'm not in a hurry to marry and why whenever I see a man of my father's background I turn around and keep it moving. I just don't want to live the drama of what mom went through.Plus being by myself...I'm safe. No one can hurt me. I never had a real life boyfriend...only long distance ( phone / email ) that's it.I love my dad , don't get me wrong...He passed away in 05' . I do know he saw his parents go through stuff ...so he made the best with whatever pieces he had in him.

mom said do i say not as I did. She married at 16...I'm 32 and still not married. The whole thing that went down with my parents just put me off, I saw so much. Plus not to mention what my dad's family did to mom and us kids...

In order to get a faithful man I will need to ask god for help!! That is the only way! don't get me wrong I want to be a mom and have a home...but the drama that i dont like. Again....I'm gonna have to pray god for a miracle....in order to have a man who is faithful and kind....a man who will not cheat.

People have no clue...they think its funny to cheat and all they have no clue how it can mess the kids up. I have males sibling they too were not in a hurry to marry nor date... OUt of us 4 kids...only 1 of us is married. None of us married in our 20s.NONE. 3 of us are over 31.

No, all men do not cheat. Out of all the married/involved men that I personally know (about 60 men including family & friends), SIX are cheaters. The interesting part is that 3 men are from the same household, 2 generations of cheaters.

 

[Kerryann]

I strongly believe that all men do not cheat. I know the non cheaters are ouit there but i just dont know where.

 

[DarkVictory]

I don't believe all men are cheaters, though as someone said upthread, ultimately you really only know about yourself. I think all HUMANS have potential/opportunities to cheat; what they actually do is in the character of the person.

I've noticed patterns. Cheaters begat cheaters. Someone who grows up seeing father, cousins, uncles doing it thinks "everybody" does it. Same with social groups. In some circles, people have that "boys will be boys" attitude. When you're around people like that, it does seem like everybody cheats.

The temptation is definitely out there and I believe there are men who support each other in behaving. For some it's respecting the family and setting a good example for the children, for others it's knowing the wife will find out and a) maybe step out herself, and b) shave his @#$ with a rusty can opener for being a two-timing fool.

 

[gabulldawg]

erplexed I think it’s sad that so many women have so little faith in men. IMO it’s all about the company you keep… No, all men don’t cheat. I don't even believe that the majority of men cheat. But I do know that some men do cheat. Just like there are some women that cheat. I try my best to avoid those types of men AND women.

A lot of times men give us signs telling us who they really are and we as women ignore them. But who is to blame for that? Like others have said I can only worry about me . I did my best to find a man that I think is worthy of my trust, and hope that he continues to earn my trust. Like others have also mentioned, if he ever does anything that makes me feel that he is a cheater I will continue my search to find a man that isn't one. I haven't lost faith in men yet, and I hope I never do!

For those who believe that all men cheat, are you still dating men?

 

[blackmaven]

Nope, Some men not all men cheat

 

[MD_Lady]

erplexed I think it’s sad that so many women have so little faith in men. IMO it’s all about the company you keep… No, all men don’t cheat. I don't even believe that the majority of men cheat. But I do know that some men do cheat. Just like there are some women that cheat. I try my best to avoid those types of men AND women.

A lot of times men give us signs telling us who they really are and we as women ignore them. But who is to blame for that? Like others have said I can only worry about me . I did my best to find a man that I think is worthy of my trust, and hope that he continues to earn my trust. Like others have also mentioned, if he ever does anything that makes me feel that he is a cheater I will continue my search to find a man that isn't one. I haven't lost faith in men yet, and I hope I never do!

For those who believe that all men cheat, are you still dating men?

Thank you. IME, the women who do the most complaining about men being "no good" are the ones who routinely remain in toxic situations (generally in the name of optimism, tolerance, or forgiveness) for MUCH too long. Those who routinely accept men for who they are, not who they want them to be, seem to have fewer issues with and a less negative view of them. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with extending forgiveness, kindness, and tenderness to an SO, but women need to do a better job of realizing that not everyone man deserves to be on the receiving end.

 

[Glib Gurl]

that is nice to hear.

A few days after my 25th birthday, I'm now 32, I had a phone conversation where my mom told me that dad had cheated on her repeatedly.From the very beginning of their marriage. I was shocked, hurt, mad and confused. See to me it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything that I assumed was reality, truth was no longer it. I was living a lie and I had no clue what to go one ...to a point i started to wonder who I was.

I guess I was naive. I knew mom and dad argued all the time to a point that. Mom started living and sleeping in my room. They worked together and that was it. They barely ate at the same table.

Then after 30 plus years, mom sat with dad . She told him that she knew everything...he couldn't even look her in the eyes. He was crying like a baby and was ashamed.

Me on the other hand, seeing what mom went through..I felt like I was in a 30 plus marriage...I guess its the reason why I'm not in a hurry to marry and why whenever I see a man of my father's background I turn around and keep it moving. I just don't want to live the drama of what mom went through.Plus being by myself...I'm safe. No one can hurt me. I never had a real life boyfriend...only long distance ( phone / email ) that's it.I love my dad , don't get me wrong...He passed away in 05' . I do know he saw his parents go through stuff ...so he made the best with whatever pieces he had in him.

mom said do i say not as I did. She married at 16...I'm 32 and still not married. The whole thing that went down with my parents just put me off, I saw so much. Plus not to mention what my dad's family did to mom and us kids...

In order to get a faithful man I will need to ask god for help!! That is the only way! don't get me wrong I want to be a mom and have a home...but the drama that i dont like. Again....I'm gonna have to pray god for a miracle....in order to have a man who is faithful and kind....a man who will not cheat.

People have no clue...they think its funny to cheat and all they have no clue how it can mess the kids up. I have males sibling they too were not in a hurry to marry nor date... OUt of us 4 kids...only 1 of us is married. None of us married in our 20s.NONE. 3 of us are over 31.

I identify with SO much of what you just posted. I don't know for sure if my dad cheated on my mom . . . but I have a strong suspicion (sp?) that he did and it makes me I choose to remain in ignorance because (1) it's not MY marriage so it's none of my business, (2) I know any discussion would irrevocably damage my relationship with my father, and (3) if there was infidelity, I know that my mother stayed in the situation for my brother and me, so who am I to bust things open all these years later, y'know? But yeah, I really identify . . . really

 

[beaux cheveux]

I know this is unPC, but...
My cynical arse choose 'yes'.
But I am also aware of myself. I know it was the situation I was raised that shaped my opinion. I know that it is not true, and some men are good men, but my heart just can't believe it.
If someone tells me that they are in a good relationship, but I don't believe them.
No, I have never been cheated on, but what my mom went through with my dad....

that is nice to hear.

A few days after my 25th birthday, I'm now 32, I had a phone conversation where my mom told me that dad had cheated on her repeatedly.From the very beginning of their marriage. I was shocked, hurt, mad and confused. See to me it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything that I assumed was reality, truth was no longer it. I was living a lie and I had no clue what to go one ...to a point i started to wonder who I was.

I guess I was naive. I knew mom and dad argued all the time to a point that. Mom started living and sleeping in my room. They worked together and that was it. They barely ate at the same table.

Then after 30 plus years, mom sat with dad . She told him that she knew everything...he couldn't even look her in the eyes. He was crying like a baby and was ashamed.

Me on the other hand, seeing what mom went through..I felt like I was in a 30 plus marriage...I guess its the reason why I'm not in a hurry to marry and why whenever I see a man of my father's background I turn around and keep it moving. I just don't want to live the drama of what mom went through.Plus being by myself...I'm safe. No one can hurt me. I never had a real life boyfriend...only long distance ( phone / email ) that's it.I love my dad , don't get me wrong...He passed away in 05' . I do know he saw his parents go through stuff ...so he made the best with whatever pieces he had in him.

mom said do i say not as I did. She married at 16...I'm 32 and still not married. The whole thing that went down with my parents just put me off, I saw so much. Plus not to mention what my dad's family did to mom and us kids...

In order to get a faithful man I will need to ask god for help!! That is the only way! don't get me wrong I want to be a mom and have a home...but the drama that i dont like. Again....I'm gonna have to pray god for a miracle....in order to have a man who is faithful and kind....a man who will not cheat.

People have no clue...they think its funny to cheat and all they have no clue how it can mess the kids up. I have males sibling they too were not in a hurry to marry nor date... OUt of us 4 kids...only 1 of us is married. None of us married in our 20s.NONE. 3 of us are over 31.

^^^This here could be my life written word-for-word, only I'm much younger.
I started to type it out (my story) but just thinking about it makes me tired. Maybe I'll come back to this later.

 

[Pretty Star]

No I think a man is just as capable of staying faithful as a woman is and to say otherwise is just an excuse.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

I know this is unPC, but...
My cynical arse choose 'yes'.
But I am also aware of myself. I know it was the situation I was raised that shaped my opinion. I know that it is not true, and some men are good men, but my heart just can't believe it.
If someone tells me that they are in a good relationship, but I don't believe them.
No, I have never been cheated on, but what my mom went through with my dad....

That is exactly the same with me. You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

Based on the number of women in committed relationships that come into my office for new OB exams just to find out they have an STD....



I'ma say , at least75% do.

I'm not even talkin' about the ones who come in for their yearly paps and find out the same thing....

By all means, trust your man. But you might wanna advise him that if he accidentally trips and falls into a vagina, he better do YOU a courtesy and wrap it up.

 

[saved06]

I don't think all men cheat. We just never hear about the good ones as often as the bad.

However, it is alarming to me to see how married men act around my job and hear them actively talk about cheating and how bored they are at home.....

 

[madamdot]

Quote:
Originally Posted by beaux cheveux View Post
I know this is unPC, but...
My cynical arse choose 'yes'.
But I am also aware of myself. I know it was the situation I was raised that shaped my opinion. I know that it is not true, and some men are good men, but my heart just can't believe it.
If someone tells me that they are in a good relationship, but I don't believe them.
No, I have never been cheated on, but what my mom went through with my dad....

That is exactly the same with me. You took the words right out of my mouth.

That is exactly the same with me. You took the words right out of my mouth.

I was in this situation too. My father cheated on my mother and he paid the ultimate price for it . . . and of course the rest of us are suffering for it - in all kinds of ways. My mother was devoted to him when she should not have been.

He died when I when I was pretty young and I was devastated . . . but it took me a while to realize that every choice he made was his: He choose to cheat, He chose to treat his family badly, He chose to ignore us. Just like there are men out there who may chose one or two of the three options . . . and men who chose zero.

I know men who cheat on their wives are are devoted to their kids. This was not my father.

Interestingly enough I also know men who have never cheated and they are married to tyrants. Maybe we need to be more tyrannical with our men. I don't know. Or maybe we should just expect more from them.

As women we hold ourselves to low standards when it comes to our men and our men to even lower standards.

I married a man who is completely open and honest with me . . . I have access to all his emails, calls, texts and passwords. I did not ask, he offered. He knows cheating is a deal breaker for me because of my background. I also know that because of how he is now if he suddenly doesn't want me touching his phone or starts hiding stuff then I am going to assume something is going on.

 

[ScorpionQueen]

in my opinion, no..all men do NOT cheat..some do, of course but it just depends on the man and the situation..it's not a one size fits all type of thing..

 

[Renovating]

No, but then again I don't think all anything/anyone does this or that.

In other words, I try NOT to make generalizations.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

Quote:
Originally Posted by beaux cheveux View Post
I know this is unPC, but...
My cynical arse choose 'yes'.
But I am also aware of myself. I know it was the situation I was raised that shaped my opinion. I know that it is not true, and some men are good men, but my heart just can't believe it.
If someone tells me that they are in a good relationship, but I don't believe them.
No, I have never been cheated on, but what my mom went through with my dad....

That is exactly the same with me. You took the words right out of my mouth.



I was in this situation too. My father cheated on my mother and he paid the ultimate price for it . . . and of course the rest of us are suffering for it - in all kinds of ways. My mother was devoted to him when she should not have been.

He died when I when I was pretty young and I was devastated . . . but it took me a while to realize that every choice he made was his: He choose to cheat, He chose to treat his family badly, He chose to ignore us. Just like there are men out there who may chose one or two of the three options . . . and men who chose zero.

I know men who cheat on their wives are are devoted to their kids. This was not my father.

Interestingly enough I also know men who have never cheated and they are married to tyrants. Maybe we need to be more tyrannical with our men. I don't know. Or maybe we should just expect more from them.

As women we hold ourselves to low standards when it comes to our men and our men to even lower standards.

I married a man who is completely open and honest with me . . . I have access to all his emails, calls, texts and passwords. I did not ask, he offered. He knows cheating is a deal breaker for me because of my background. I also know that because of how he is now if he suddenly doesn't want me touching his phone or starts hiding stuff then I am going to assume something is going on.

I wish to find an honest and faithful man like your man. I'ts nice to hear there are some good ones out there.

 

[panamoni]

What an eye opening thread. I feel like I've been living in a cave. I need more life experiences (and I've had a lot).

 

[Rastafarai]

Ladies, how are we defining cheating? Is there a universal definition?

My definition is not solely based on the physical, but the emotional/mental cheating as well (lusting, sexual desires with other women, confiding in a woman that is not your wife, etc.).

Based on the above definition, I can safely assume a large percentage (somewhere between the majority of men and all men) do cheat. Women as well.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I don't think it has anything to do with gender, I think that most people cheat. I've never been faithful in my life! I'm trying to work on that because I do want to settle down one day, and I know that my future husband deserves better than that.