Im tempted to relax! Someone talk me out of this..

[MissMariee]

I've been so tempted to relax lately.. I've been natural since June and I feel like my hair not growing(or I'm not retaining), and getting harder to manage. If I relax, I'll be able to see my growth and it'll be easier to manage. My hair doesn't really take to relaxers.. So it would be more like texlaxed.. But I really wanna be able to say I'm natural, and when it does grow out, have a full head of thick natural hair. Urghhhh !!! Help me decide!

 

[lamaria211]

If its all about "saying your natural" then your not a happy natural and you need to ho ahead and make yourself happy and relax.

 

[aa9746]

I've been so tempted to relax lately.. I've been natural since June and I feel like my hair not growing(or I'm not retaining), and getting harder to manage. If I relax, I'll be able to see my growth and it'll be easier to manage. My hair doesn't really take to relaxers.. So it would be more like texlaxed.. But I really wanna be able to say I'm natural, and when it does grow out, have a full head of thick natural hair. Urghhhh !!! Help me decide!

It takes a while to see a lot of growth. Even now I don't see my progress due to shrinkage.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Hey

Only since June? 3 months is so soon, girl!

I agree w Lamaria tho...if its only about saying ur natural...that's not gonna keep u happy.

Is there any other reasons why u went natural? Hair grows half an inch per month on average...so 3 months is not enough time to see growth bc that's only 1.5 inches.

Sent from my Teleportation Device

 

[sunnieb]

Do it!

Do it!

Do it!

Sent from my SGPT12 using LHCF

 

[MissMariee]

If its all about "saying your natural" then your not a happy natural and you need to ho ahead and make yourself happy and relax.

It's not the natural part I have a problem with, it's the length. I actually love my natural hair, but I feel like at this length the only way I can deal is if I relax, but once I get to sl I'd have no problem being natural. Complicated I know lol

 

[MissMariee]

I'm just very impatient, and the type of person that needs to SEE progress and I can't see any with this head of craziness lol

 

[Marand13]

I had the itch to relax a few years ago.. & it was bad. Its all I thought about. But at the same time I didnt want relaxed hair. I just didnt feel like going through all the work I did to maintain my natural hair, and I wanted to see the length minus all the shrinkage.

What I did was, I gave myself a time frame (6 months) and decided if that itch was still there then I would go ahead and do it.

That time passed and so did the temptation.

In my opinion relaxing might not be the answer because you have not been natural long enough to get used to your hair and you may end up going through the same situation all over again in the future.

How long did you transition?

 

[Ravenhairedbeauty]

Don't do it if your hair doesn't respond well to relaxers what's the point. I had the same problem a few months ago when I first bc'd it seemed like my hair wasn't growing. So instead of relaxing I decided to wear wigs for a few months. After about a few months I stopped wearing wigs and I had some length I was happy with. Now I don't wear wigs anymore. Just an idea. In the end it's best to do whatever makes you happy .

 

[MissMariee]

I had the itch to relax a few years ago.. & it was bad. Its all I thought about. But at the same time I didnt want relaxed hair. I just didnt feel like going through all the work I did to maintain my natural hair, and I wanted to see the length minus all the shrinkage.

What I did was, I gave myself a time frame (6 months) and decided if that itch was still there then I would go ahead and do it.

That time passed and so did the temptation.

In my opinion relaxing might not be the answer because you have not been natural long enough to get used to your hair and you may end up going through the same situation all over again in the future.

How long did you transition?

I didn't technically transition, I had a TON of breakage in the back and in the middle (I think from ponytails everyday, in the same spot) so I came home from work and just cut it all out of frustration. Then cried cause I hated it. I've gotten more comfortable with it I just don't feel girly with it anymore.

 

[BraunSugar]

You've only been natural for like 5 minutes! You already know that relaxing is a permanent decision till you regrow or cut it off and I would hate for you to relax out of frustration. If it's something you just want to do then that's completely different.

If management is an issue then have you visited this thread? Struggling with your natural hair? Come in here..... At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you hair but patience is the key to any successful journey, relaxed or natural. Good luck.

 

[Ravenhairedbeauty]

I didn't technically transition, I had a TON of breakage in the back and in the middle (I think from ponytails everyday, in the same spot) so I came home from work and just cut it all out of frustration. Then cried cause I hated it. I've gotten more comfortable with it I just don't feel girly with it anymore.

When I want to feel a little more girly with my hair when I have those days I wear cute sparklybows or headbands. I don't know how old you are but some women don't like to do that because it makes them look too young. Well I'm 33 and I don't mind looking younger.If fie you don't like that why not try wearing pretty earrings. I also wear cute long earrings with my short hair to girl it up some. These things have really helped me. Sorry for typos.

 

[discodumpling]

June? C'mon son WHY are you natural? Please measure the success of your hair in it's HEALTH not LENGTH. I promise you if you work on healthy hair length will come.

Is it moist? Have you ENJOYED your current length by exploring different styles?

Patience grasshopper.

 

[Marand13]

I didn't technically transition, I had a TON of breakage in the back and in the middle (I think from ponytails everyday, in the same spot) so I came home from work and just cut it all out of frustration. Then cried cause I hated it. I've gotten more comfortable with it I just don't feel girly with it anymore.

Gotcha!

I get that. You have to mentally be ready for natural hair. If you want to stay natural you just have to get used to it. You have to learn to love it.

Your going to go through that awkward stage and everything because of the length you are at now.

Don't watch for growth every month. Take pics every other month and you will see it better. I'd weave it up until it grows out some more and then you can do more with it.

 

[Fhrizzball]

Since the weather is cooling down why not try rollersets or straight styles or just hide it in a protective style until it gets to a length you're happy with?

 

[xcuzememiss]

I say relax it!

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

If you want to stay natural, I'd suggest the hide your hair challenge. That way you can just keep it moist, and clean, and healthy...and get length from weaves, or wigs. You have to commit to being natural...you have to like it, and that means liking it short since it does take a While for it to stop looking awkward. Even if you relax, it will still be short...so, be patient!

 

[Raspberry]

Do it!

Do it!

Do it!

Sent from my SGPT12 using LHCF

too funny..


I say you should wait a while before doing anything drastic, making hair choices when you're emotional and frustrated is never a good idea. If your issue is just about length, you have to figure out a way to make peace and be patient, it'll grow.

 

[MzSwift]

It's not the natural part I have a problem with, it's the length. I actually love my natural hair, but I feel like at this length the only way I can deal is if I relax, but once I get to sl I'd have no problem being natural. Complicated I know lol

I have BC'd 10 times (at least) and the bolded is the reason I went back to texlaxing. With the support of the boards, I was able to PS my way over the hump. Each time I took down my PS my hair was even bigger and badder than before.

Maybe you should put your hair away for a while and protect it from yourself. If it grows out and you still feel the same way, you can always relax then.

GL!

 

[karenjoe]

I can't do it.....

I'm the girl your Mom said "don't play w her! she's gonna get you trouble"
! but you did anyway cause she knew how to have fun.......


that's me.....

on the bright side maybe the craving for hit of creamy crack will pass.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'd give it a few more months. At three months, hair has only grown an inch for most people. Do you want to "see" length more or thick, healthy natural hair? When you can answer that, you'll know what to do.

 

[Qtee]

I felt the same way...my hair is BSL and when curly it's neck length ..after 3 yrs I still am not showing length...I decided to relax and ended up texlaxed ....I still don't show that much length ..still not even shoulder length curly...but I decided to leave my hair alone for a while...maybe wig it until spring...my advice is to hide it for a while and maybe u will feel diff once it grows more..

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Also, relaxers kind of "trick" you into thinking it's growing more cause of the new growth. Maybe a gentle, temp hair color can mark your progress for you. Then you'll "see" the progress.

 

[Napp]

Even if you relax, it will still be short...so, be patient!

quoted for emphasis!

Seriously you want to texlax just to see and extra inch of length on your twa? Its not worth it!

Get some long braids, a wig, a weave or straighten it up if you need to feel length. Otherwise just push through the ugly period. Relaxing is not going to make it better. If anything also think of this ugly period if you want to relax because if you decide to go natural again you will be stuck in the same situation.

 

[sunnieb]

It's only been since June of this year?

If you can, take some of the advice in here and try to hold out another 6 months or longer. You won't regret it.

If you still want to relax after that, do it.

Sent from my SGPT12 using LHCF

 

[Evolving78]

Do it! get you some relaxer right away. if you aren't feeling natural hair as far as length is concerned, don't feel like you are committing a crime if you decide to relaxer.

 

[sckri23]

I've been so tempted to relax lately.. I've been natural since June and I feel like my hair not growing(or I'm not retaining), and getting harder to manage. If I relax, I'll be able to see my growth and it'll be easier to manage. My hair doesn't really take to relaxers.. So it would be more like texlaxed.. But I really wanna be able to say I'm natural, and when it does grow out, have a full head of thick natural hair. Urghhhh !!! Help me decide!

Its just a "new natural jitter" your feeling and it will pass. Give it a few months and if you still want to relax you will have more hair to work with.

Sckri23 from my SCH-I500 using LHCF

 

[havilland]

i know how you feel. i go through that almost weekly. (i am transitioning)

i don't like short hair on me either. so i am transitioning.

here is my two cents:

1. you have been natural for 5 minutes. so it is a little too soon to quit imo. you don't really know what you are doing yet.

2. if you texlax now your hair will still be short. so texlaxing or relaxing will not solve your problem. it may however give you another one....feeling like you quit too soon.

3. hide your hair. anytime in my whole life that i have had to cut my hair due to damage, i hid it away for months at a time. this way i could still feel ok about my hair AND take care of it and maximize my retention. i would wear a wig, a weave, a bun (i know your hair is too short to bun. just saying that's what i used to do) maybe braids or a weave can be an option if you get someone who won't braid your hair too tight and damage it.

4. go on you tube and try to learn from other naturals. specifically look at people who have been on awhile so you can see them grow from TWA to longer lengths.

5. give yourself a better timeline than 3 months. lets say you pick a time period where you can actually see some length, like a year...... or 6 months at least. if you are still unhappy, texlax. ain't nothing wrong with that. also, if you texlax and decide to transition again, it will be easier.

there are plenty of naturals that started out not knowing how to retain length. it takes time and patience to learn your hair. no matter what style you choose.

in the end, do what will make you happy. don't be pressured by yourself or others to do anything you don't want to do. it is only hair. it will grow back as long as you don't do something crazy to it....most choices are reversible. some just take longer than other.

 

[havilland]

Do it!

Do it!

Do it!

Sent from my SGPT12 using LHCF

i'm sorry yall...i had to quote this and LMAO

 

[virtuenow]

Do you want to say you're natural or be natural? Was your hair thriving when it was relaxed. I mean, did the relaxer itself do anything to damage your hair or scalp? That's what relaxer was for me, constant damage-- leading to constant breakage. See If you come up with more pros or cons for the relaxed or natural hair. That should help you decide what to do.