"Im gonna **** up, Im gonna make mistakes. It happens."

MixedBerry

MixedBerry

All I want to do is drink and fuhk.
How would you feel after your boyfriend said that to you? Mind you, you just caught him in a lie....

ETA issue




He left a booty movie up on the computer, no biggy cause I watch them too...i sent a joking text about it but he lied and said it was from an email link....I had already saw it was from a google search during his 45 min playtime on the computer.

Thing is, I didnt even question him about it just was being silly " you left your @ss on the screen" was all I said. LOL

He text back that he got it from an email and earlier in phone convo he said he was only home for a short while and didnt have time to do xyz...but he spent 45 mns on the computer looking at @ss.

Thats my issue, he lied and I didnt even question him! He volunteered a lie! wow, I was pissed cause he knows that Im open to a lot of stuff, including "movies". So he said it will never happen again, I'll never have to question him again and the then busts out "Im gonna make mistakes, im gonna **** up"...:perplexed

Im bothered.
 
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smoothie696 said:
Depends on what he did and the context and how/why he said it.
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I agree. If it was something simple, I might let it slide.

If it was something that adversely affects your relationship, I'd have to let him go.

Unfortunately, too many men (and women) have the attitude that "men will be men". And the "I'm only human" excuse doesn't work, either.
 
He left a booty movie up on the computer, no biggy cause I watch them too...i sent a joking text about it but he lied and said it was from an email link....I had already saw it was from a google search during his 45 min playtime on the computer.

Thing is, I didnt even question him about it just was being silly " you left your @ss on the screen" was all I said. LOL

He text back that he got it from an email and earlier in phone convo he said he was only home for a short while and didnt have time to do xyz...but he spent 45 mns on the computer looking at @ss.

Thats my issue, he lied and I didnt even question him! He volunteered a lie! wow, I was pissed cause he knows that Im open to a lot of stuff, including "movies". So he said it will never happen again, I'll never have to question him again and the then busts out "Im gonna make mistakes, im gonna **** up"...:perplexed

Im bothered.
 
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Just curious: how did you know he was on the computer for 45 minutes?


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF app
 
MixedBerry said:
He left a booty movie up on the computer, no biggy cause I watch them too...i sent a joking text about it but he lied and said it was from an email link....I had already saw it was from a google search during his 45 min playtime on the computer.

Thing is, I didnt even question him about it just was being silly " you left your @ss on the screen" was all I said. LOL

He text back that he got it from an email and earlier in phone convo he said he was only home for a short while and didnt have time to do xyz...but he spent 45 mns on the computer looking at @ss.

Thats my issue, he lied and I didnt even question him! He volunteered a lie! wow, I was pissed cause he knows that Im open to a lot of stuff, including "movies". So he said it will never happen again, I'll never have to question him again and the then busts out "Im gonna make mistakes, im gonna **** up"...:perplexed

Im bothered.
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I meant to quote and bold what made it seemed extra. But yeah.

You watch them too, he knows you do...you said you were joking and he responds like that?
 
^^^^

yeah, very extra. He knows Im a breezy person. Whatever. Im so bothered, so bothered. His trust meter has gown down a notch. Why lie about something so stupid? Dang!
 
dat was a red flag chile. wonder what else he was doin that he got so occupied that he left it up on the screen, then LIED about it, and started tawkin bout it. das what i call constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth....just runnin.....

the last sentence alarms me because he just phucked up. you just don't know how.

"i'm going to phuck up", as if it is expected of him and you should accept it.

i hate when someone takes me for granted.
 
Angel_Face said:
Yeah I think I would be too... Talk to him about it.
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yeah, I already have. Of course he got all attitudey and mopey. Isnt it bad to keep bringing things up over and over? hmmmm.......

Im assuming he was defensive cause he was embarrased or whatever...:perplexed
 
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Maybe if he feels as if his mistake was getting caught watching the movies, when he should have been doing whatever it was he did not have time for....<Kanye Shrug>
 
Hmmmmm it is weird that he's so defensive about something that doesn't bother you. :perplexed Does he KNOW it doesn't bother you? Maybe he thought you would be mad about "catching" him watching porn. Or maybe he was just embarrassed about it. Like you guys have an understanding that he watches those movies, but maybe he doesn't want you to know what types he watches or something. IDK. So many possibilities. But I will agree that it's weird that he would get so defensive about it.
 
When you lie a lot you tend to forget what you lied about and end up contradicting yourself. And then you try to cover your previous lies and end up making an even bigger mess.

He was probably trying to cover the lie that he didn't have to time to do the chore he was supposed to when he was at home. Instead he watched some video. You weren't even thinking about that, but he was because he knew he lied. So, when you sent the joke all he thought was damn now she knows I had time to do that chore, I better say it was emailed to me. He knew he couldn't say that he googled it because then you would've said why didn't you do the chore you were supposed to do instead of googling porn.

When people get caught in the mess all their lies leave behind and can't get out of it, the only thing left for them to do is act defensive and defeated. So, he says "I'm going to make mistakes" like it's not his lies that are the problem it's your unrealistic expectations that are the problem and that you expect him to be perfect.
 
^^ right on. So, what is your advise? Im still annoyed and pissed about it. I mean, dang, lie about something that small, whats next? Of couse, only time will tell.
 
I think people have unreal expections about lies.. Everyone, at some point is going to lie. I think you should talk to him, once you are both calm. Be careful not to be accusatory. Be nice, honest and poen about how you feel and why you feel that way. Then at that point you are the only one who can determine whether his lying in a character flaw or he made a "mistake". ( I use the term mistake loosely)
 
MixedBerry said:
^^ right on. So, what is your advise? Im still annoyed and pissed about it. I mean, dang, lie about something that small, whats next? Of couse, only time will tell.
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I'm not really sure. I guess I would pay extra close attention to see if he lies a lot just out of habit or if it was a one time thing where he was trying to get out of the chore.

Yeah the bold is the part that just makes you think right? Otherwise it would be a funny story you could just forget about.
 
Do_Si_Dos said:
I think people have unreal expections about lies.. Everyone, at some point is going to lie. I think you should talk to him, once you are both calm. Be careful not to be accusatory. Be nice, honest and poen about how you feel and why you feel that way. Then at that point you are the only one who can determine whether his lying in a character flaw or he made a "mistake". ( I use the term mistake loosely)
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Thats just it, we talked about it once he came home. It was about 2 hrs after his lying text. I showed him the @ss on the screen I began talking. The whole time, I was cool, even laughed at some parts because in general it was silly, but DUDE, WHY LIE???????

He even tried to turn it around and get all wishy washy about some ish, saying he wasnt lying and that he got the "idea" to look up the butt from an email...it kept getting murkier and murkier. Then he finally kinda just said, yeah I did it, yeah blah blah blah. Then kinda quasi apologized...mutha trucka!

I want to ignore him tonight but I know that may make things worse. I'll just play it cool. Whatever...
 
I don't think this is anything to make a big deal over. Not worth in depth discussion or analysis in my opinion. Make a note of it, move on. You can revisit it later should something like this arise in the future.
 
mischka said:
I don't think this is anything to make a big deal over. Not worth in depth discussion or analysis in my opinion. Make a note of it, move on. You can revisit it later should something like this arise in the future.
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Right. But still cant shake that feeling of knowing he lied. Eh, will make note and move on....:ohwell:

Thanks ladies for all your answers, has helped. Just kidding, I lied. See, doesnt that suck? lol

Seriously, thanks a lot.
 
I think your bf could possibly be addicted to porn and doesn't want you to know he has a problem. Yes, he knows you don't mind porn, but also knows you would be worried or concerned if you knew. That is what I think he is hiding. This is just a gut feeling I have from reading what you wrote. I also think it would be difficult for most people to say hey I can't do that favor for you because I'm planning on viewing and enjoying some porn instead. I think he didn't want to be bothered with the favor and didn't know how to tell you.
 
hopeful said:
I think your bf could possibly be addicted to porn and doesn't want you to know he has a problem. Yes, he knows you don't mind porn, but also knows you would be worried or concerned if you knew. That is what I think he is hiding. This is just a gut feeling I have from reading what you wrote. I also think it would be difficult for most people to say hey I can't do that favor for you because I'm planning on viewing and enjoying some porn instead. I think he didn't want to be bothered with the favor and didn't know how to tell you.
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See, thats the thing. It WAS HIS IDEA to take over the kitchen! He wanted to do the dishes and clean up after dinner.

ETA to clarify, its not really porn perse, its all booty vids. hmmm that has me feeling a certain way but whatever.
 
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Does he know that you don't have a problem with casual porn-watching?

Is this a new relationship?

He may have thought that you would trip about him watching porn and decided to lie about it, or, he may have felt embarrased about the fact that you just caught him watching a skin movie.

I personally think that you should let him know how you feel about porn, and also tell him that even little lies create huge doubt. Reinforce that he can come to you with the truth, and you will always respect that more then a lie.

Keep this occurence in your mental roladex but I don't think this is something that you need to keep harping on, or something you should leave him for. Sometimes we have to let our SO make mistakes so that you can learn from them and grow stronger.
 
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