**** you

[naturalmanenyc]

Hmmm. You disregarded his feelings, you argued with him when he expressed to you that he was upset that you disregarded his feelings and then you were sarcastic when you sort of apologized for disregarding his feelings (after a 30 minute argument where I presume he was expressing to you why he was upset). In my opinion you were disregarding his feelings a second time by being sarcastic.

I'd be pissed with you too. I don't use that kind of language in my relationship but some people do communicate that way when they are upset.

 

[Afro Puff]

So y'all would leave a man for saying 'phuck you'? Oh, ok.

I will add I've never had a man say that to me.

Absolutely. I demand basic respect even in an argument. Before he said 'phuck you', he thought it. And then he decided there would be no consequences in saying it over & over & did so. No respect. When I know there are married couples living together for over 50 years giving each other basic respect, why would i settle for crap in a boyfriend/girlfriend deal? Please

 

[Urban]

So y'all would leave a man for saying 'phuck you'? Oh, ok.

I will add I've never had a man say that to me.

Sure would. NO-ONE talks to me like that. Ever .

 

[kweenameena]

Sometimes, the people we love say things they don't mean and mean things they don't say. He's human.

I'm not excusing it at all. But I do understand how you can feel so angry that you just want to scream (or curse). And usually frustration about not being heard/understood is what takes me there.

Definitely tell him that you won't tolerate that type of speak from him.
But I wouldn't just up and leave him because of that alone. Sometimes, it's okay to grant people grace for the ***-ups.

 

[Evolving78]

i would have just told him his mother wasn't on the phone and he better clean that mouth up real quick! see i don't have to curse you out to go there. but i know i have a mouth on me. that's why i had to learn and i'm still learning how to fight fair.

 

[UmSumayyah]

For some people cursing at them is not a big deal.

For others, it is.

OP just has to weigh it all in context and decide if it's a dealbreaker for her.

 

[MizAvalon]

I haven't read the entire thread but that would be a no-go for me. Some couples are ok with profanity and low blows in their relationship but that doesn't fly with us.

I find that the behavior just gets more and more disrespectful over time.

I believe in fighting fair. Get your feelings across in a respectful manner then work on resolving the issue from the root. Name calling, cursing, any other kind of disrespectful behavior is not constructive nor is it tolerated.

 

[loved]

I haven't read every post but the way you express yourselves when you disagree can define the course your relationship & tell you a lot about the person you're with.

You have an issue.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

So y'all would leave a man for saying 'phuck you'? Oh, ok.

I will add I've never had a man say that to me.

Yes I would. Because he'll think it's okay. And say it again. And again. And who knows what else he would think it's okay to do. But I wont stay with him to find out. My mama didn't raise a fool.

 

[LovinLea]

Update: It was not an overreaction. I would advise anybody in this situation to leave.

 

[getoffmylawn]

What happened if you don't mind me asking?

 

[LovinLea]

He showed me that he is abusive. Not the man I thought I knew. Not a man at all.

 

[darlingdiva]

If you haven't left already, LEAVE, LEAVE, and LEAVE!

Words are not just words. They are so rich and so packed with emotion.

As another poster mentioned, he said "**** you" because he thought it.

"**** you" is synonymous with "you're meaningless; you're worthless in my eyes."

The consideration of continuing a relationship with a person of this character is more than just a bad idea; it's an acceptance of disrespect and abuse.

He opened that door and there's nothing you can do about that. However, you have the power to close it.

 

[LovinLea]

That door is closed.

 

[hopeful]

This is the 2nd story of abuse in the relationship forum in the past few weeks. I'm so sorry this happened to you LovinLea. I hope you are okay. I'm glad you slammed that door shut and I pray you meet a kind, gentle soul the next time you enter into a relationship.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Really, y'all? I've never had anyone say FU to me nor have I said it. Ever. That does not seem the least bit healthy to me... in ANY type of relationship.

 

[LovinLea]

This is the 2nd story of abuse in the relationship forum in the past few weeks. I'm so sorry this happened to you LovinLea. I hope you are okay. I'm glad you slammed that door shut and I pray you meet a kind, gentle soul the next time you enter into a relationship.

Yes, I am okay. Thank you...from your keyboard to God's ears.