"I'm Going To Make You Fall In Love With Me"

[Browndilocks]

How do you feel about men who are very frank & forward with their words (and actions I guess)?

Okay so last night was my birthday. Threw a party...mad people. So I see my two friends, a married couple walking up to me and they're with this guy. The guy steps away from them and starts walking faster toward me and says "she's even more beautiful in person!"

Okay so my already big birthday ego was being stroked when he said that because he said it so loudly.

He handed me a present in a really pretty box and says "I've been waiting for a year for this moment...happy birthday." Then he introduced himself and kissed my hand.

Turns out, he is a friend of the married couple that I'm friends with. He saw a picture of me from a wedding that we (the couple and I) attended last year. I remember my friend saying "Girl - this man is in love with you after seeing your picture" but I brushed it off cause it wasn't that serious. Seems like he's been trying to convince my friends to introduce us ever since. They bought him to my party.

Everything was cool - I was trying to spend time with everyone who came out. When it was over and I was gathering my things he said in a low voice "I'm going to make you fall in love with me".

I got home and opened the gift he gave me and read his card which said "Your smile is priceless! I can't wait to see it again when we go out on our first date."


Say Word?

 

[Vinyl]

I think I'd be a little bit creeped out, but maybe that's just me.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Happy Birthday

((((HUGS))))))


This is really so SWEET =)!

This Made my day. I guess we never know who is Watching us/ Pictures LOL WOW.

 

[blow]

Aww wow. Is he West Indian?

 

[Ramya]

I think it's cute. I love forward men









get'em girl

 

[20Pearls_Girl]

I think it's a nice gesture. If you are attracted to him, I would go out with him to see what he's about. Even if he's a flake, I like when men put in effort because lord knows we've heard 50-11 stories about men flipping the script and taking on the traditional female role.

 

[sunshinelady]

What was the gift? What did your gut say? Is he handsome?

 

[ntrlbeauty87]

I don't know man...this kinda screams RED FLAG for me. It would be cute if we'd met before and atleast had some sort of conversation. But for just having met dude and he talkin' bout "I'ma make u love me", that's a little weird/scary. Is he cute?

 

[Browndilocks]

Thanks for the replies.

I guess I'm trippin because we all say how much we like a man who makes his intentions known from the start. Here I am thinkin I'm always prepared to handle whomever whenever I get approached. Yet I was honestly taken aback by the way he was. I'm a mixture of surprised, creeped out and flattered, all at the same time. People at the party thought he was my boyfriend. This morning I looked in my camera at my pictures and he's in the background of most of them, kinda following me around. It was a bowling party so he wanted to play in whichever games I played, whatever lanes I played. He wasn't stalkerish at all but just very, very present.

I dunno...

He's very attractive actually, and has a really pretty twin sister that I met earlier this year. We kind of run in the same social circle but he's just someone I've never met.

 

[Browndilocks]

Aww wow. Is he West Indian?

Regular ole black I think.

 

[Browndilocks]

What was the gift? What did your gut say? Is he handsome?

An Ipod. I have the giggles for some reason. I can't take him seriously. I don't even know him.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about him.

 

[sunshinelady]

An Ipod. I have the giggles for some reason. I can't take him seriously. I don't even know him.

Hmmm, that's a nice gift for someone you don't know. I'd tread lightly.

 

[amara11]

Thanks for the replies.
This morning I looked in my camera at my pictures and he's in the background of most of them, kinda following me around. It was a bowling party so he wanted to play in whichever games I played, whatever lanes I played. He wasn't stalkerish at all but just very, very present.

I dunno...

He's very attractive actually, and has a really pretty twin sister that I met earlier this year. We kind of run in the same social circle but he's just someone I've never met.

Okay, I was all for defending his behavior as simply forward- but the bolded

lmao. I'm creeped out by the thought of that alone!

 

[Browndilocks]

Okay, I was all for defending his behavior as simply forward- but the bolded

lmao. I'm creeped out by the thought of that alone!

That's actually why I started this thread... looking at those pictures. I didn't get weird vibes from him. I just felt like he was trying REALLY hard.

I'm contemplating how to handle this. I'm going to contact him to thank him for coming to my party, but I'm trying to think of the most cautious way to do it.

ETA:
I feel like I should contact him sooner than later because I'm going to see him next week. The married couple (our mutual friends) is having a baby shower. It's co-ed and I know he's going to be there because he's really close to the husband.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

That's actually why I started this thread... looking at those pictures. I didn't get weird vibes from him. I just felt like he was trying REALLY hard.

I'm contemplating how to handle this. I'm going to contact him to thank him for coming to my party, but I'm trying to think of the most cautious way to do it.

ETA:
I feel like I should contact him sooner than later because I'm going to see him next week. The married couple (our mutual friends) is having a baby shower. It's co-ed and I know he's going to be there because he's really close to the husband.

There you go. You didn't get a bad feeling from this. I think a lot of us aren't used to being pursued by men. However, his behavior would not have been considered uncommon 40 years ago (ie saw a picture, trying to woo you, etc). Again, our gut is usually right. If you feel safe and don't get a crazy vibe from him, then feel it out. But please don't lead him on in any way. Have fun!

 

[amara11]

That's actually why I started this thread... looking at those pictures. I didn't get weird vibes from him. I just felt like he was trying REALLY hard.

I'm contemplating how to handle this. I'm going to contact him to thank him for coming to my party, but I'm trying to think of the most cautious way to do it.

ETA:
I feel like I should contact him sooner than later because I'm going to see him next week. The married couple (our mutual friends) is having a baby shower. It's co-ed and I know he's going to be there because he's really close to the husband.

Well, if you didn't feel weird I say go with the gut. I was just thinking about waking up and seeing pictures with the guy in the background staring at me creepily in all of them. LOL that had me cracking up. But that's just the image that I had in my mind! If it was a relatively small gathering of friends, it's understandable that he would be in many of the pictures, esp if he really likes you and spent much of the party near you.

There you go. You didn't get a bad feeling from this. I think a lot of us aren't used to being pursued by men. However, his behavior would not have been considered uncommon 40 years ago (ie saw a picture, trying to woo you, etc). Again, our gut is usually right. If you feel safe and don't get a crazy vibe from him, then feel it out. But please don't lead him on in any way. Have fun!

I'm used to it, but that doesn't de-sensitize my discernment. My sense of safety trumps my desire for attention, so I tend to walk on the safe side. That may just be because I'm a little paranoid (too many Lifetime movies lol).

On the other hand, I think some women are so eager to be pursued that they ignore warning signs when a half-way decent man steps to them. **(Definitely not referring to you Browndilocks, I don't think this applies to your situation)**

 

[Browndilocks]

There you go. You didn't get a bad feeling from this. I think a lot of us aren't used to being pursued by men. However, his behavior would not have been considered uncommon 40 years ago (ie saw a picture, trying to woo you, etc). Again, our gut is usually right. If you feel safe and don't get a crazy vibe from him, then feel it out. But please don't lead him on in any way. Have fun!

Thank you for this. I am really starting to learn more about myself. I have been praying for more discretion in general when it comes to relationships, friendships, whatever.

I confess that my knee-jerk reaction is "Of course I'm used to being pursued by men". Duh! I felt this way because I have never had a "problem" with men trying to get my attention. There is a difference however between going somewhere and having a bunch of men trying to "get at you" all the time, versus a man really trying to pursue you. It may seem plain to most, but I'm honestly just starting to learn this. The two can actually be mistaken for one another, and that's one thing that I personally believe I haven't taken enough notice of in my own life. Not even talking about this particular guy from last night, but I just mean men in general. Nope - I really don't know everything.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I'm used to it, but that doesn't de-sensitize my discernment. My sense of safety trumps my desire for attention, so I tend to walk on the safe side. That may just be because I'm a little paranoid (too many Lifetime movies lol).

On the other hand, I think some women are so eager to be pursued that they ignore warning signs when a half-way decent man steps to them. **(Definitely not referring to you Browndilocks, I don't think this applies to your situation)**

I think that's why we all have an innate sense of intuition, that inner voice that tells us stop or go. Based on what the OP said, seems this guy is harmless and is not making her uncomfortable. Yes, we should never let our desire for a man cloud our judgment but we should also be free enough and bold enough to allow a little romance into our lives.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Thank you for this. I am really starting to learn more about myself. I have been praying for more discretion in general when it comes to relationships, friendships, whatever.

I confess that my knee-jerk reaction is "Of course I'm used to being pursued by men". Duh! I felt this way because I have never had a "problem" with men trying to get my attention. There is a difference however between going somewhere and having a bunch of men trying to "get at you" all the time, versus a man really trying to pursue you. It may seem plain to most, but I'm honestly just starting to learn this. The two can actually be mistaken for one another, and that's one thing that I personally believe I haven't taken enough notice of in my own life. Not even talking about this particular guy from last night, but I just mean men in general. Nope - I really don't know everything.

Trust me! There's a difference.

 

[amara11]

Thank you for this. I am really starting to learn more about myself. I have been praying for more discretion in general when it comes to relationships, friendships, whatever.

I confess that my knee-jerk reaction is "Of course I'm used to being pursued by men". Duh! I felt this way because I have never had a "problem" with men trying to get my attention. There is a difference however between going somewhere and having a bunch of men trying to "get at you" all the time, versus a man really trying to pursue you. It may seem plain to most, but I'm honestly just starting to learn this. The two can actually be mistaken for one another, and that's one thing that I personally believe I haven't taken enough notice of in my own life. Not even talking about this particular guy from last night, but I just mean men in general. Nope - I really don't know everything.

Honestly, I'm excited for you! Keep us updated!

 

[amara11]

I think that's why we all have an innate sense of intuition, that inner voice that tells us stop or go. Based on what the OP said, seems this guy is harmless and is not making her uncomfortable. Yes, we should never let our desire for a man cloud our judgment but we should also be free enough and bold enough to allow a little romance into our lives.

This is true . Unfortunately sometimes my intuition goes into *overprotective mode* with my emotions, the way parents sometimes do with children. 'Just play it safe, and nobody gets hurt'. Which may be true, but as you said 'nobody gets any love' either!

For me, it's not so much that I haven't had enough examples of the good- as it is that I have seen/learned about so many examples of bad that I feel like I have to be cautious. I question and second guess myself whenever I'm not. Which I think is where OP was when she posed the question. She didn't feel it herself necessarily, but perhaps felt like she *should* be cautious based on whatever reason.

I've learned that we are either driven by fear or love and in retrospect many of the things I do are driven by fear Thanks for my lightbulb classimami (and browndilocks). I definitely need to shift that- I think I'd be more productive (in everything) if I did.

 

[TCatt86]

I think it's nice. Sounds like he's courting you.

 

[Brees_hair]

At least he isn't talking about when he will get a chance to smash that...Chivalry is shot to hell...I think his gesture is sweet, and could easily be interpreted as borderline creepy and weird. I just think may of us women arent use to a man "courting" as oppose to "hollering" at us.
I say take him up on his challenge, and see where it goes. Just dont string him along or mislead him. If you aren't interested let him know, otherwise, enjoy the ride.

 

[TexturedTresses]

I think it was seriously romantic. At least if it doesn't work out... you'll have something to fantasize about for a LONG time to come. I agree with other posters though. Be very careful to not lead him on.

 

[ntrlbeauty87]

At least he isn't talking about when he will get a chance to smash that...Chivalry is shot to hell...I think his gesture is sweet, and could easily be interpreted as borderline creepy and weird. I just think may of us women arent use to a man "courting" as oppose to "hollering" at us.
I say take him up on his challenge, and see where it goes. Just dont string him along or mislead him. If you aren't interested let him know, otherwise, enjoy the ride.

Yeah, now that I think about it, the fact that he said, "I'm going to make you love me" is waaay better than what most guys say now. Although it seems alittle uncommon for someone to say this now, I say take it slow and go for it. You never know what may come of it.

 

[Kamilah]

As long as he can respect your boundaries, it can be charming. It definitely sounds like you may want to start establishing those now- especially since he has the advantage of knowing more about you than you of him (and you don't know WHAT he knows about you either). I would start REALLY slow, email only. See if he gets impatient when you delay a response. If he seems normal, only date in the daytime for a while (although I'm just a fan of daytime dates...its also safer), and give him limits like not calling you late at night, etc.

See how he responds to having limits and how he respects them. If he even puts his pinky toe over the line, bolt! There's nothing crazier than a controlling man!

 

[glamazon386]

Girl go with the flow!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

You have a great resource in the married couple for feeling him out so to speak. Go on and ask questions about him and his history. The couple took a long time to introduce the two of you..did you ask why?

 

[KEIONI'S MOM]

An Ipod. I have the giggles for some reason. I can't take him seriously. I don't even know him.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about him.

I will say this evidently he made some type of lasting impression on you so IMO would definitely see him again but take it slow.........Like I've read in so many threads on here men aren't really that difficult to understand and it looks like his sights are set on you so for what it's worth what harm can come from trying to get too know the handsome stranger?

 

[rabs77]

I think it's nice. Sounds like he's courting you.

I agree! Enjoy it