I'm done with my sister...

[MrsMe]

Her selfish, self-centered, narcissistic, greedy, manipulative tendencies make me want to gag. The age difference of 14 years may have a role to play, but it doesn't even count for more than 5% of our discord.
I gave up on her today after she had the nerve to yell at me for asking her some legitimate questions. Without going into details, if it wasn't for me, homegirl wouldn't have had the means to start her business and be where she is today.
She always plays the darn victim and when confronted acts so classless. Today she hung up not only on me but also on my Mom. How the crap do you muster the nerves to hang up on your own mother, especially when she has been raising your only child for two years?

One of her comments made me realize that she was not happy for me. She said (in relation to our financial ties) "because you're MARRIED now and YOUR HUSBAND has a problem with it, it has become a problem". What does that sound like to you??? I don't want to use the H or J words but the way she said that, demonstrated that she clearly had a problem with the fact that my husband has a say in OUR finances. The worst part about this whole thing is that I've been complaining long before I got married. I should have known she was up to no good when she brought her sperm donor aka brokeassgoodfornothing Baby Daddy at my wedding, without notice.
Her arrogant and obnoxious person has no place in my life. I'm done trying to talk to her and look forward to severing all ties.

Sorry for the long rant! I had to let it out!

Sent from my iPad...excuse the typos

 

[NicoleSelah]

I think this is in the wrong forum.

And what is your question?

 

[Guinan]

(((Hugs))) have u guys tried counseling? Sister issues are no fun & it doesn't help that there is a huge age difference between u too. When there is so much of an age difference, ususally the older sibling assumes the role as a "parent" figure rather than a sibling relationship.

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[Keen]

From your perspective: You need to point out to her that you had a problem with whatever yall have a problem with before the husband came along

From her perspective: She was dealing with you but now she has to deal with third person. She needs to understand that's what happen when people are married. Although she has a right not to want to deal with a third person's input, she needs to take you out of the equation if she has a problem with your husband input.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=681097&highlight=family

Read this thread *

 

[MrsMe]

I think this is in the wrong forum.

And what is your question?

I posted it here because I wasn't sure there was another subforum that pertains to family relationships. Where should it go, then?
I have no question, really. This thread is more of a rant. If anybody else has dealt with a difficult sibling and have advice, they're more than welcome to chime in.

(((Hugs))) have u guys tried counseling? Sister issues are no fun & it doesn't help that there is a huge age difference between u too. When there is so much of an age difference, ususally the older sibling assumes the role as a "parent" figure rather than a sibling relationship.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using LHCF

She is definitely acting like a parent now, but she's one of those parents I wouldn't want to have. My own mother respects me more than she does and that's saying a lot coming from my mom.
We live 4hrs away from each other so counseling would be tricky. I couldn't do counseling with her anyway because she doesn't See anything wrong with what she's doing.

From your perspective: You need to point out to her that you had a problem with whatever yall have a problem with before the husband came along

From her perspective: She was dealing with you but now she has to deal with third person. She needs to understand that's what happen when people are married. Although she has a right not to want to deal with a third person's input, she needs to take you out of the equation if she has a problem with your husband input.

Girl, we have been discussing our issues for the past three years, before I was even engaged. Whether she likes it or not, this third party is now half of me, financially speaking, so she will have to deal with the fact that he has a say. DH is pretty laid back and lets me handle our finances but this is the only thing that makes him raise an eyebrow and talk to me. Notice I said talk to me, not her. No matter how much it bothers him, he would never get involved because it all started before there was an "us".


We never really had a bond because an ocean separated us while I was growing up. I don't think it's ever going to happen. I've tried hundreds of times, only to deal with her Highness.

Sent from my iPad...excuse the typos

 

[Mai Tai]

Why are you letting your sister have so much power over your life? How is it that she feels confident enough to even comment on you and your husband's financial agreements? I mean...why was this information even disclosed to her because its really none of her business.

You don't have to talk to her. You don't have to give her insight into your marriage. You don't owe her an explanation on anything and you don't have to continue to seek her validation.

I'm not trying to sound harsh. I just never understand people who take years of abuse just because it comes from someone to whom they are related too.

 

[TayMac]

So does she owe you money?

 

[SweetNic_JA]

How financially connected are you to her? Can you pull out of the business - have her buy you out?

 

[ThickHair]

If you GAVE (GIFTED) her the money to start out her business then that is done. Please don't rehash that time and time again. No need to even bring that up, unless you like to hold that over her head.

Everything else, keep her out of you and DH business as it is none of her business. No need to explain just refuse to discuss it.

ETA: I do understand your rant, but you have to take responsibility for your part as well.

 

[*CherryPie*]

What you just told us doesn't seem extreme enough to want to sever ties with your sister. Has something worse happened that you're not telling us?

It's sounding like, you're mad because she don't want to work financially with your husband. And why couldn't she bring her man to your wedding?

It's disrespectful to hang up on anyone. But....

 

[MrsMe]

Why are you letting your sister have so much power over your life? How is it that she feels confident enough to even comment on you and your husband's financial agreements? I mean...why was this information even disclosed to her because its really none of her business.

You don't have to talk to her. You don't have to give her insight into your marriage. You don't owe her an explanation on anything and you don't have to continue to seek her validation.

I'm not trying to sound harsh. I just never understand people who take years of abuse just because it comes from someone to whom they are related too.

I did take years of abuse for the sake of "blood". I've stopped taking that nonsense from her a long time ago but we are tied financially. That's the only reason why she's still relevant in my life.

So does she owe you money?

No, she doesn't owe me money, but if she did, I wouldn't hold it against her. My sister and I have very different points of view when it comes to money. She believes that nobody who doesn't hand her money isn't worth her time. I believe that there are certain things that money can't buy and value people more than how deep their pockets are and how I can use them.

How financially connected are you to her? Can you pull out of the business - have her buy you out?

I wish it were that simple. I'm sorry for being so vague but that's something I'm not ready to discuss in details. I will come back and explain once it's all sorted out.

If you GAVE (GIFTED) her the money to start out her business then that is done. Please don't rehash that time and time again. No need to even bring that up, unless you like to hold that over her head.

Everything else, keep her out of you and DH business as it is none of her business. No need to explain just refuse to discuss it.

ETA: I do understand your rant, but you have to take responsibility for your part as well.

If I had gifted her money, I would never bring it up. Unlike her, when I give something to someone, it's out of generosity and I don't expect anything in return. I've helped her do things that money can't buy and never rehash any of it but she never hesitates to remind me of any little thing she did for me.
I keep her very far away from my and DH's business but she knows no boundaries and just doesn't respect me.

What you just told us doesn't seem extreme enough to want to sever ties with your sister. Has something worse happened that you're not telling us?

It's sounding like, you're mad because he don't want to work financially with your husband. And why couldn't she bring her man to your wedding?

It's disrespectful to hang up on anyone. But....

We've had a tumultuous relationship for years and I'm tired of her negativity. I'm fed up. Whenever I'm around her, I feel no desire to talk to her. She only calls me when she needs something from me, whereas I used to call her on a regular basis to find out how she was doing. She has never spoken to me in a respectful manner. It's always orders and demands that pertain to her. I'm not the first and only person to complain about that. I didn't acknowledge it until I had to deal with her for years.
I'm about to turn 30 and I refuse to be treated like dirt by her anymore.
As for her man, he's a dirt bag. She forgave him for asking her to have an abortion when she got pregnant, leaving her to raise her child on her own, cheating on her while driving her car, etc... Although I clearly disagree with her choice of man, I kept my mouth shut and only spoke when my opinion was requested. The worst part is that this man had the nerve to talk trash about me and DH at our own wedding, was rude to both of our families and acted like he was something else. I didn't say anything to her when I found out because his opinion isn't worth a dime to me, but knowing that the man doesn't like me, I don't know why she even forced him to come.

Sent from my iPad...excuse the typos

 

[*CherryPie*]

^^^^I would need to hear her side too, because it seems like the problem you two have is about your men. She don't like yours, and you don't like hers, so it's causing problems in other areas of your lives.

 

[The Girl]

I feel your pain (no H...yet,but still)...negativity is draining and unwarranted from those who are supposed to love us!