Ignoring WARNING SIGNS

CurliDiva

CurliDiva

Well-Known Member
IMO, many (not all) women ignore solid WARNING SIGNS about a man's character or behavior in the beginning just to date or have a "man" only to cry the blues later after he did them "wrong."

I have a story to share: (sorry this is long, but I’m still in shock)

A engaged girlfriend wanted to set me up with one of her (a therapist) co-worker. She called me last week, and mentioned that he was very tall, attractive, great personality with a fun sense of humor. She asked if it would be ok to give him my cell number.

I am single, so I said it was ok. He called me yesterday. We talked and the conversation went very well. He asked for my email address so that I could check out his my space (his photos) and side business website. After learning about my design background, he mentions that he need help designing a logo for his side business. He is a freelance photographer, and told me he does event photography such as promotional shows, celebrity events, etc. The phone conversation ended with him inviting me to meet for drinks and dinner when available.

I opened his email this morning.

His myspace page was NORMAL – photos of him and his friends, the celebrity photos, etc. He is cute! I clicked on the link to his side business and to my surprise – PORNO! I can’t say what the first page showed but it was HARDCORE. I not talking about just nudes… there were people in the acts showing everything.

I was DISGUSTED!:mad:

I call my friend – to tell her about the freaky co-worker! Her reply….oh do not hold it against him, he is a NICE guy. I am mad that she would say some stupid mess like that to me!

I email him back with quickness to say thanks but no thanks!

Being a porno king is a WARNING SIGN I will not ignore!:nono:
 
OH No! I can' imagine the shocked look on your face when you found out he was a super freak undercover.:lachen:
 
Aww man, she tried to do what I call "set you up", from her response it sounds like she may have know about his side job. Good thing he let you know from the door, that's probably how he let's the women he is interested in know about his side job, instead of just coming out with it he says it like that giving the lady the option to continue seeing him or not.
 
CurliDiva said:
IMO, many (not all) women ignore solid WARNING SIGNS about a man's character or behavior in the beginning just to date or have a "man" only to cry the blues later after he did them "wrong."

I have a story to share: (sorry this is long, but I’m still in shock)

A engaged girlfriend wanted to set me up with one of her (a therapist) co-worker. She called me last week, and mentioned that he was very tall, attractive, great personality with a fun sense of humor. She asked if it would be ok to give him my cell number.

I am single, so I said it was ok. He called me yesterday. We talked and the conversation went very well. He asked for my email address so that I could check out his my space (his photos) and side business website. After learning about my design background, he mentions that he need help designing a logo for his side business. He is a freelance photographer, and told me he does event photography such as promotional shows, celebrity events, etc. The phone conversation ended with him inviting me to meet for drinks and dinner when available.

I opened his email this morning.

His myspace page was NORMAL – photos of him and his friends, the celebrity photos, etc. He is cute! I clicked on the link to his side business and to my surprise – PORNO! I can’t say what the first page showed but it was HARDCORE. I not talking about just nudes… there were people in the acts showing everything.

I was DISGUSTED!:mad:

I call my friend – to tell her about the freaky co-worker! Her reply….oh do not hold it against him, he is a NICE guy. I am mad that she would say some stupid mess like that to me!

I email him back with quickness to say thanks but no thanks!

Being a porno king is a WARNING SIGN I will not ignore!:nono:
Click to expand...


I agree with the bolded. My best friend is the same way. She will hold on to a man to the bitter end (and support him financially too:nono:) As soon as I see red flags, I jump ship. I don't think I should give myself a headache to hold on to a man.
 
I totally agree. Do NOT compromise your standards.
CurliDiva said:
IMO, many (not all) women ignore solid WARNING SIGNS about a man's character or behavior in the beginning just to date or have a "man" only to cry the blues later after he did them "wrong."

I have a story to share: (sorry this is long, but I’m still in shock)

A engaged girlfriend wanted to set me up with one of her (a therapist) co-worker. She called me last week, and mentioned that he was very tall, attractive, great personality with a fun sense of humor. She asked if it would be ok to give him my cell number.

I am single, so I said it was ok. He called me yesterday. We talked and the conversation went very well. He asked for my email address so that I could check out his my space (his photos) and side business website. After learning about my design background, he mentions that he need help designing a logo for his side business. He is a freelance photographer, and told me he does event photography such as promotional shows, celebrity events, etc. The phone conversation ended with him inviting me to meet for drinks and dinner when available.

I opened his email this morning.

His myspace page was NORMAL – photos of him and his friends, the celebrity photos, etc. He is cute! I clicked on the link to his side business and to my surprise – PORNO! I can’t say what the first page showed but it was HARDCORE. I not talking about just nudes… there were people in the acts showing everything.

I was DISGUSTED!:mad:

I call my friend – to tell her about the freaky co-worker! Her reply….oh do not hold it against him, he is a NICE guy. I am mad that she would say some stupid mess like that to me!

I email him back with quickness to say thanks but no thanks!

Being a porno king is a WARNING SIGN I will not ignore!:nono:
Click to expand...
 
I am so sorry to hear this. Just know that this is only one experience, and be grateful you learned about it now and not during the relationship.
 
My friend called me back to say that she KNEW about the porno! She said that forgot to "warn" him that I am not into that kind of stuff! Again, this was some hardcore, nasty stuff. :nono: WTF, so she was going to tell him to lie to me? This "friend" is now on my "watch" list!
 
Oh hecky no! NO deals. I believe u have to pick your battles...but that does not mean ignore red flags...and this is definately one!:nono:
 
EEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! :nono:
Gross. I'm so glad you went withyour gut on this one and cut it off pronto. Obviously your friend needs to read the Goddess sticky!
 
I just got this reply from him:

"I do apologize...I DID NOT mean to send you to that site......i should have sent you to (another website - same name company) it is not pornographic.......it is a "PG" site.......again, I apologize."

He knew exactly which website address he sent me - but was trying to gauge my FREAK factor! :spinning: Negro please, save it for one of your chicken heads!
 
CurliDiva said:
I just got this reply from him:

"I do apologize...I DID NOT mean to send you to that site......i should have sent you to (another website - same name company) it is not pornographic.......it is a "PG" site.......again, I apologize."

He knew exactly which website address he sent me - but was trying to gauge my FREAK factor! :spinning: Negro please, save it for one of your chicken heads!
Click to expand...

Umm no..... he is crazy is so is your friend.
 
CurliDiva said:
I just got this reply from him:

"I do apologize...I DID NOT mean to send you to that site......i should have sent you to (another website - same name company) it is not pornographic.......it is a "PG" site.......again, I apologize."

He knew exactly which website address he sent me - but was trying to gauge my FREAK factor! :spinning: Negro please, save it for one of your chicken heads!
Click to expand...

He is so wrong for that email. "Super freak" Super freak he is superfreaky the kind you don't bring home to mother"..............
 
So he didn't even wait to see what you thought about the subject first, before asking you to look at the contents of his website. That is pretty stupid. You could have been at work for God's sake. I would have dropped him in a flash as well. And your friend's response shows what she would be comfortable with in a relationship, but it doesn't mean that you have to be okay with that type of thing.
 
CurliDiva said:
I just got this reply from him:

"I do apologize...I DID NOT mean to send you to that site......i should have sent you to (another website - same name company) it is not pornographic.......it is a "PG" site.......again, I apologize."

He knew exactly which website address he sent me - but was trying to gauge my FREAK factor! :spinning: Negro please, save it for one of your chicken heads!
Click to expand...


So Curli, what does he mean?

So is there two sites, a XXX one and a PG rated one? Is he saying the sites are totally unrelated?

Not that it makes that situation any better. Just trying to understand his reply.
 
CurliDiva said:
My friend called me back to say that she KNEW about the porno! She said that forgot to "warn" him that I am not into that kind of stuff! Again, this was some hardcore, nasty stuff. :nono: WTF, so she was going to tell him to lie to me? This "friend" is now on my "watch" list!
Click to expand...

What ... so he could take it down and you get blindsided with it later?
 
CurliDiva said:
My friend called me back to say that she KNEW about the porno! She said that forgot to "warn" him that I am not into that kind of stuff! Again, this was some hardcore, nasty stuff. :nono: WTF, so she was going to tell him to lie to me? This "friend" is now on my "watch" list!
Click to expand...

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I would not call her a friend. It would be different if she knew you were into this stuff, and set you up and you found out. But obviously, she didn’t even warn you about his “lifestyle.” That’s the equivalent to me of trying to set up someone who is celibate with someone who is into swinging. Those would not be a congruent pair, IMO!
 
Warning for sure! :nono: I'm glad you found out right away. Also, he could have been 'testing' you for a reaction to see if you would 'agree' without coming right our and asking you if you did.

What is with these fools today??????
 
Shimmie said:
Warning for sure! :nono: I'm glad you found out right away. Also, he could have been 'testing' you for a reaction to see if you would 'agree' without coming right our and asking you if you did.

What is with these fools today??????
Click to expand...

I agree..............I believe he was testing her out.
 
I could tell by her response that she knew, she's a bumb :fishslap:
CurliDiva said:
My friend called me back to say that she KNEW about the porno! She said that forgot to "warn" him that I am not into that kind of stuff! Again, this was some hardcore, nasty stuff. :nono: WTF, so she was going to tell him to lie to me? This "friend" is now on my "watch" list!
Click to expand...
 
Xavier said:
So Curli, what does he mean?

So is there two sites, a XXX one and a PG rated one? Is he saying the sites are totally unrelated?

Not that it makes that situation any better. Just trying to understand his reply.
Click to expand...

The second website address had the same company name (ex. CD Productions) as the first, just a slightly diffeernt web address. He may have meant to send me the PG one (which I doubt) but he is associated with both sites.
 
cocoberry10 said:
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I would not call her a friend. It would be different if she knew you were into this stuff, and set you up and you found out. But obviously, she didn’t even warn you about his “lifestyle.” That’s the equivalent to me of trying to set up someone who is celibate with someone who is into swinging. Those would not be a congruent pair, IMO!
Click to expand...

The thing that gets me is SHE called me up at out the blue! I'm happily single - meaning not whining about finding a man or wanting to be married. It is not like I came to her moaning about needing a "date" and this was the only person she could think to recommend.

Why even try to bring this nonsense to ME?
 
CurliDiva said:
The thing that gets me is SHE called me up at out the blue! I'm happily single - meaning not whining about finding a man or wanting to be married. It is not like I came to her moaning about needing a "date" and this was the only person she could think to recommend.

Why even try to bring this nonsense to ME?
Click to expand...
I would really limit my contact with her. I would never introduced a guy to my frined knowing the type of guy he is and plus if it has been discovered what he's really about I wouldn't even suggest that she continue to communicate with him!

With friends like that who the hell needs enemies?!
 
I agree with the person who said that you were set up. And not to be overly suspicious but I think, like others said, that he was trying to test you (and not just to see if you would still date him). If you truly look like your avatar twin he may have been looking to take some "artistic photos" of you somewhere on down the line. I hate to be so cynical but some men really try to put women out there.

And the fact that your "friend" recruited you for him is also suspicious. Makes me wonder how many other women she set him up with. :ohwell:
 
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