I agree... I remember some of your old threads about this guy, and from what it sounds like here, not much has changed in terms of him addressing what he did and him making an effort to repair the relationship.
From what I'm reading here, all the work that's been done has been on your end only. All he's doing is calling and talking to you, which as you said, is what all men do.
As for your prayer, make sure that you're paying attention to what God is really showing you and not what you want to see. As far as I can tell, this man is showing you nothing at the moment... which is perhaps the answer that God is giving you.
Good luck.
Ladies, one of you said exhale. I need to do that and get this off my chest this morning so this might get a little winded.
Hey Bunny, yeah it's the same one. The Allen Payne look alike. I guess I owe you a little more explanation for this to make sense. This man I as you remember I referred to as my soulmate. He had a habit of talking to other women on the internet. I found out and confronted him with it. He didnt deny his actions but denied meeting them in person or ever having cheated on me. I gave him a counseling ultimatum which he declined.
I then basically in a very abrupt and very accusatory manner told him to give me all my stuff from his house. When he didn't seem to comprehend, I went through his house snatching clothes books and other items. Ouch....it still hurts to remember how I acted.
I later tried repeatedly to apologize for the way I acted. I could have ended the relationship in a much more dignified way. Certainly without all the accusations and certainly without demanding books, pictures, coffee pot, etc.
I have been in complete unhappiness thinking that if only I had done things differently this could have been my soulmate. He had just gotten out of a six year relationship 4 months prior and obviously needed time to get back out there and date. I had ended a ten year relationship a year ago that had deep roots in internet dating as the cause for the breakup. We both needed time.
I used to daydream about running into him and his granddaughter in Walmart and that 15 minute long stare between the two of us. I honestly thought I would never hear from him again unless it was just happenstance at a Walmart or a gas station.
Then out of the blue he texts me one day and ask "where are you" I thought it was unreal. I said "why' and he answered "you know why". So okay sex I'm thinking. I was actually joking around with him about him wanting to come over but didn't take him serious. And to be honest I knew he was talking about holding congress. Let me be upfront about that. BUT when he actually knocked on my door I was in complete shock. I thought he was just joking with me.
When he came in he started working out in my gym. Then he went into my office and saw the company that he and I were suppose to be doing on my desk. He began asking me questions about it. We talked for another 2 hours about that. With him finally finally giving me all the missing pieces. This was another hard part of the break up I was still trying to do this company without him and I really needed his expertise. He was so forthcoming with information I was like a second grader being exposed to world history for the first time. Just in absolute awe. We talk and talk. Since I didn't take him seriously I was just me... my usual sweat pants wife beater tee and house shoes. But he really wasn't looking at me sexually at all anyway.
I tell him about the property I bought and he wants to see it, we stay there about an hour with him just making so much sense of this business that I'm trying to do. Then we go look at another one I want to buy. We come back to my house. We talk business for another hour. All the while I'm thinking did he really come over here for sex because that is not going to happen. Please believe me I thought about it especially when he got on the weight bench.
We leave again and go eat and come back to my house. At which point he says I can't believe you got me out at this time of night. It's about 10:30pm. I want to kiss him so bad but I know where that will lead to and I cannot sleep with him. But I did want to. Suffice it to say we dont kiss but he kept hugging me and pecking my neck. It's something he used to do to make me laugh.
I walk him to his car and we talk another 45 minutes. All of which is him just saying funny stuff to make me laugh. Basically about me opening the business and one of my elderly patients running away and the news camera being right there to catch it all. It was funny.
We've talked since then on the phone like old times, but nothing about the initial reason he was coming over. He will call me and we talk business and he says things like "I need to do this because you are going in the wrong direction" (me wanting to spend money) or just things to keep me on track like not getting an SBA loan but just to save my money and do it the non-debt way.
I know he knows what he is talking about because he probably makes at least $50k a month. Maybe what was answered was that God has softened his heart toward me enough to be friends with me and help me with my business. Maybe this is my prayer to if he came back to give the relationship whatever time it needs to grow at a natural pace. Before I was practically living with him after one month. Either way I'm happy he's back in my life and willing to help me out and since I'm not sleeping with him I can't really be concerned or have any expectation with his actions outside of me.
Maybe in time things will change.....why do I write so dang much. Sorry ladies. But I'm so so grateful that I have all of you to listen. Even if you don't post I hope reading my story may help some of you out there think through these new exciting relationships. Just give it time. Don't rush into anything. Okay bye.
erplexed
