If you saw another woman flirting with your SO/DH...

[Theo]

lolI would have been a tad annoyed. Dont tap me unless you're single son!

now that i think about it... you're right. what was he tapping me for? he shoulda been focused on his wife

 

[Enyo]

It always used to make me laugh. Not a fake laugh where you're really burning up inside, either. It's a truly amused happy laugh. *shrug*

 

[Renewed1]

Well I see both points. I would have walked over after he pointed at me (IF and ONLY IF, I was done with my conversation with whomever).

But, I would let him handle it; there's enough trying to handle the men that come your way.

 

[MizAvalon]

I would let my SO handle it.

 

[Julessy]

You did the right thing OP! After all, when you are not around and this happens he has to still nip it in the bud anyway!

I agree with bebezazueta, he must be able to do this on his own even when you're not around so you definitely did the right thing. I would've done exactly what you did.

 

[PeaceFlow]

SO can handle it just fine. I'm not threatened (especially if the woman doesn't know he has a gf), so I'm not going to act it.

I cant stand those women who are always on alert. Even when shyt is neutral lol. Like you see some guy from school that you have no interest in whatsoever. Say "Hello Richard", next thing some woman appears giving you major side eye and trying to pull him awaylol: I think some women that always have to come over are insecure, but others I think its because they know they have good reason to be worried and not trust their partner to deal with it adequately.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I always say ain't no such thing as a good looking, educated,single man. He is with someone, wife or girlfriend.

I am single and fairly attractive so I always downplay my sexuality when I am unsure of someone's dating status because I don't want no trouble. When I do date or interested in someone, it is because he has expressed interest in me.

I think maybe single women, especially once they reach a certain age, say 25-30, should assume the guy is taken until it is proven that he is not.

Dang no wonder so many are single. We get told by some folks that there are awesome single guys out there but now there is not? Then we can't initiate a conversation with a dude because we maybe labeled as thirsty for chatting? Then I hear guys friends tell me that they like it when the woman comes up to them. ugh. I hate dating. Can win for losing yo.

I guess I just have to keep on having a good time and hope some dude with confidence comes talk to me. haha.

 

[Honey Bee]

Ok, this is my thing. If my man was chatting with a guy at a party and I happened to find myself unattended, I would rejoin him and jump right in. We cool like that. So why would I behave differently because the person he's talking to is a woman? Idgaf either way. Am I supposed to be, like, respecting her (attempted) 'g'? Or am I testing him to see if he reacts properly?

From another perspective, what message does that send to her, or the other assembled hooches? Does your reservation imply lack of care, therefore opening him up to all types of solicitation? Even if he's the most faithful, trustworthy man in the world, are you gonna sit there for the duration of the party, watching people flirt with him? For what, exactly? Maturity's sake? I just don't get the purpose.

 

[MzLady78]

SO can handle it just fine. I'm not threatened (especially if the woman doesn't know he has a gf), so I'm not going to act it.

I cant stand those women who are always on alert. Even when shyt is neutral lol. Like you see some guy from school that you have no interest in whatsoever. Say "Hello Richard", next thing some woman appears giving you major side eye and trying to pull him awaylol: I think some women that always have to come over are insecure, but others I think its because they know they have good reason to be worried and not trust their partner to deal with it adequately.

Yep.

This is why I pretty much stopped approaching guys I know when they're with their woman. I wait for him to come over, or wave from across the room if we happen to make eye contact. All that extraness got real old, real fast. Like is dude supposed to not know any other woman besides you?

 

[FelaShrine]

Ok, this is my thing. If my man was chatting with a guy at a party and I happened to find myself unattended, I would rejoin him and jump right in. We cool like that. So why would I behave differently because the person he's talking to is a woman? Idgaf either way. Am I supposed to be, like, respecting her (attempted) 'g'? Or am I testing him to see if he reacts properly?

From another perspective, what message does that send to her, or the other assembled hooches? Does your reservation imply lack of care, therefore opening him up to all types of solicitation? Even if he's the most faithful, trustworthy man in the world, are you gonna sit there for the duration of the party, watching people flirt with him? For what, exactly? Maturity's sake? I just don't get the purpose.

why leave his side ever since you feel so strongly. might as well shadow his every move instead of randomly popping up.

 

[Mai Tai]

Ok, this is my thing. If my man was chatting with a guy at a party and I happened to find myself unattended, I would rejoin him and jump right in. We cool like that. So why would I behave differently because the person he's talking to is a woman? Idgaf either way. Am I supposed to be, like, respecting her (attempted) 'g'? Or am I testing him to see if he reacts properly?

From another perspective, what message does that send to her, or the other assembled hooches? Does your reservation imply lack of care, therefore opening him up to all types of solicitation? Even if he's the most faithful, trustworthy man in the world, are you gonna sit there for the duration of the party, watching people flirt with him? For what, exactly? Maturity's sake? I just don't get the purpose.

I think your reasons for jumping in are not backed by insecurity. It appears as if you would walk over just to chat it up which is cool. It doesn't reek of insecurity.

BUT...

There are tons of women who would walk over for extra silly reasons. If you feel the need to "check" a woman for flirting because of your man's passive or non-existant reaction to the flirtations, or you feel the need to mark your territory when your man should be marking it for you, then yes...you are insecure...in your man's ability to make the relationship known, and in yourself.

 

[GodivaChocolate]

Ok, this is my thing. If my man was chatting with a guy at a party and I happened to find myself unattended, I would rejoin him and jump right in. We cool like that. So why would I behave differently because the person he's talking to is a woman? Idgaf either way. Am I supposed to be, like, respecting her (attempted) 'g'? Or am I testing him to see if he reacts properly?

From another perspective, what message does that send to her, or the other assembled hooches? Does your reservation imply lack of care, therefore opening him up to all types of solicitation? Even if he's the most faithful, trustworthy man in the world, are you gonna sit there for the duration of the party, watching people flirt with him? For what, exactly? Maturity's sake? I just don't get the purpose.

I see your point. I don't act any differently one way or the other. My DH is clueless so he probably wouldn't take it as flirting unless it was very blatant and he's ALWAYS calling me over to meet the person anyway, male or female. I can tell if he feels uncomfortable so I'm not going to stay away to prove some useless point about me being insecure or not. He's my husband and we are each others first priority so I'm not going to play games just to prove a point, if I choose to walk over or not it's my prerogative because I'm his wife and he'd do the same to me.

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[*SkolarStar*]

WhenI was with my ex we would joke around with this. If someone walked up to him while I was in a bathroom he already would ward them away himself but if we were having a funny day I would do it. It's not even in my character to try this so that's what made it funny.

 

[getoffmylawn]

I wouldn't do anything. He knows his boundaries and more than likely would never entertain her conversation anyways.

 

[mscocopuff]

You did the right thing. This is a grown man that we are talking about here. If he didn't know to hip her to game, then there is a bigger problem.

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[Honey Bee]

I see your point. I don't act any differently one way or the other. My DH is clueless so he probably wouldn't take it as flirting unless it was very blatant and he's ALWAYS calling me over to meet the person anyway, male or female. I can tell if he feels uncomfortable so I'm not going to stay away to prove some useless point about me being insecure or not. He's my husband and we are each others first priority soI'm not going to play games just to prove a point, if I choose to walk over or not it's my prerogative because I'm his wife and he'd do the same to me.

GodivaChocolate, Thank you!! This is all I'm saying.

FelaShrine, I almost responded snarkily, but then it occurred to me that maybe you just didn't understand. We also hold hands when we walk down the street. Sometimes we just look at each other and grin stupidly, lol, that's how happy we are... very much in our own little world, which is why I initially asked why I should give up my own enjoyment for some person (of any gender) neither he nor I really gaf about. Make sense?

Mai Tai, Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. The general trend of the thread was so myopic, I just felt it was important to get another perspective out there. Everybody don't hafta be insecure, and some people just like being around each other. Sometimes, it's no more complicated than that.

 

[RegaLady]

Your friend sounds delusional

Those women you see coming from no where introducing THEMSELVES and ish or giving their men the mean glare forcing dude to introduce them look so pathetic to me and Im sure they look the same to everyone else.

Dh and I were at some couples class and after class this guy came over to make small talk with me. Harmless chatter. Out of the blue his wife walks over, I guess to make her presence known and she just stood there looking some kind of way. I was taken back, because it came off as insecure on her part. It didn't look any other way. I was thinking "oh wow",lol.

I find it interesting that what we view as "punk" behaviour is usually wise actions. Women don't always have to bark, yell, follow, scream, jump up and down, to make their points known. Sometimes simple, silent, restrained behaviour makes a woman come off as confident and in control.

 

[Bnster]

Ok what happen if your man didn't handle it? Would you leave them or would you cut in? Or the lady didn't get the hint, like still stayed around being nicey nicey with your man. Playing devil advocate here. Would you handle it then?

 

[RegaLady]

Ok what happen if your man didn't handle it? Would you leave them or would you cut in? Or the lady didn't get the hint, like still stayed around being nicey nicey with your man. Playing devil advocate here. Would you handle it then?

Dh and I would be having a great, big, long, convo on the way home .

But seriously, will me running up behind him chase her away? Just curious...

ETA: Men know how to get out of situations they are not fond of. Trust. I don't need to "rescue" him,lol.

 

[mscocopuff]

Ok what happen if your man didn't handle it? Would you leave them or would you cut in? Or the lady didn't get the hint, like still stayed around being nicey nicey with your man. Playing devil advocate here. Would you handle it then?

If my man didn't tell her then I would reconsider my options. I can't be with him all the time so if he can't be trusted with me there, then he definitely can't be when I am not. That is a no no. No man is worth me losing my mind over.

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[CurlyMoo]

Well, there this guy that I was attracted to. The attraction was mutual, he worked near my job. He asked me out to go to a party. We did, he tried to get some from me but I wanted to move toward a relationship and he only wanted FWB. He shows me his penis in his car and grabs my hand to show me what I would be missing. I back off of him because that was just too forward although I was secretly turned on. Anyways.....

A month later he shows up at my job, it was an art opening, I was the curator and he is an Artist. I ran up to hug him and then I show him a painting and here comes this attractive woman leaning into his back and pressing herself into his butt and just hanging all over him, digging into his back pockets and staring at me while she was doing it. I'm like damn what's her problem? I'm like OHHH that's his lover and that's why he was so stiff when I hugged him. And I mean his body. He was was nice about it all. He later married her. But when I spoke to him at other parities, she would call his name to come to her or go somewhere.

They have been having marital problems.

So the hanging all over the guy is effective for that it looks highly pathetic yet you know exactly who he is screwing and that you will certainly get none soon.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Ok, this is my thing. If my man was chatting with a guy at a party and I happened to find myself unattended, I would rejoin him and jump right in. We cool like that. So why would I behave differently because the person he's talking to is a woman? Idgaf either way. Am I supposed to be, like, respecting her (attempted) 'g'? Or am I testing him to see if he reacts properly?

From another perspective, what message does that send to her, or the other assembled hooches? Does your reservation imply lack of care, therefore opening him up to all types of solicitation? Even if he's the most faithful, trustworthy man in the world, are you gonna sit there for the duration of the party, watching people flirt with him? For what, exactly? Maturity's sake? I just don't get the purpose.

When I pictured the scenario I saw both myself and SO occupied. Say I was talking to my friends/family and I see homegirl going up to SO outta the corner of my eye. Do I cut my conversation prematurely to go over there, or just let him handle it and go over when I'm finished. When I naturally would have.

The women that come over, IME, are coming over faster than the speed of light specifically because they have seen a woman breathe near their man .

Generally If I was bored at the time and not engaged in something I would go and cuddle him as usual. I'm not going to stop in the middle of something I'm doing to ward a woman off though.

BTW when this happens SO deals with it very quickly because he's good at knowing when people are flirting. Theres no way it'd be going on for more than 60 seconds after all becomes clear. SO tends to come to find me when women are being bold with him. Also I go to find him when Im getting hit on too much because I find it annoyingerplexed.

 

[mscocopuff]

When I pictured the scenario I saw both myself and SO occupied. Say I was talking to my friends/family and I see homegirl going up to SO outta the corner of my eye. Do I cut my conversation prematurely to go over there, or just let him handle it and go over when I'm finished. When I naturally would have.

The women that come over, IME, are coming over faster than the speed of light specifically because they have seen a woman breathe near their man .

Generally If I was bored at the time and not engaged in something I would go and cuddle him as usual. I'm not going to stop in the middle of something I'm doing to ward a woman off though.

BTW when this happens SO deals with it very quickly because he's good at knowing when people are flirting. Theres no way it'd be going on for more than 60 seconds after all becomes clear. SO tends to come to find me when women are being bold with him. Also I go to find him when Im getting hit on too much because I find it annoyingerplexed.

I totally agree with you. I don't leave my DH to see his reaction. I know that he will send her on her way. I leave him because this man is not my son. He is grown. Truth be told, I am not going to sit there and watch him either. I am not babysitting him. Been there and done that before and trust, it is not worth it. It is not all about him either. I am in a different place now than I was before. I realize that people will do what they want regardless of you... So if I have to go over there to make my presence known, then what good is my relationship? I l is my worth so if he doesn't he will miss out.

But out of respect for him, I would allow him to handle the situation himself. Men don't need you to be their mother. They want you to be their partner. We are besties too... If he needs me, he will let me know or he will make his way over to me.

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[mscocopuff]

GodivaChocolate, Thank you!! This is all I'm saying.

FelaShrine, I almost responded snarkily, but then it occurred to me that maybe you just didn't understand. We also hold hands when we walk down the street. Sometimes we just look at each other and grin stupidly, lol, that's how happy we are... very much in our own little world, which is why I initially asked why I should give up my own enjoyment for some person (of any gender) neither he nor I really gaf about. Make sense?

Mai Tai, Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt. The general trend of the thread was so myopic, I just felt it was important to get another perspective out there. Everybody don't hafta be insecure, and some people just like being around each other. Sometimes, it's no more complicated than that.

Very well said

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[Naveah2050]

Sadly this happens to me all the time, men and women...I just keep it moving and act like it dont phase me. He never really notices though bless his heart ...

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

You can do what some of the military wives do whenever they see a woman talking to their man....

Walk up to him while he's in convo and start rubbing his arm, or put your arm around his waist while your intently staring down the woman and slightly rub his chest.

Had the wife of command's Chaplain do this in front of me when I asked him a question.

 

[mscocopuff]

You can do what some of the military wives do whenever they see a woman talking to their man....

Walk up to him while he's in convo and start rubbing his arm, or put your arm around his waist while your intently staring down the woman and slightly rub his chest.

Had the wife of command's Chaplain do this in front of me when I asked him a question.

Wow!!! Embarrassing!!! LMBO

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[Kurlee]

I always say ain't no such thing as a good looking, educated,single man. He is with someone, wife or girlfriend.

I was having drinks a while back and one of my single friends said to one of my married friends, "You have nothing to worry about with your husband. He never tries to flirt or respond to flirts."

To which my married friend said,"How would you know, are you checking for him to do that with you?"

They don't speak to this day.

I am single and fairly attractive so I always downplay my sexuality when I am unsure of someone's dating status because I don't want no trouble. When I do date or interested in someone, it is because he has expressed interest in me.

you sound like such a sweetheart

 

[FelaShrine]

Ok what happen if your man didn't handle it? Would you leave them or would you cut in? Or the lady didn't get the hint, like still stayed around being nicey nicey with your man. Playing devil advocate here. Would you handle it then?

How would he handle it if Im not there?

 

[Whimsy]

If it happened today? I'd go over and say something slick and be sure to wave my big arse belly and big arse ring in her face.
But that's just cuz i'm in a mood.

This has happened, DH is good about popping "you've got to meet my wife" into conversations early.

I can only hope when I'm not around that he says something similar.