If you saw another woman flirting with your SO/DH...

PopLife

PopLife

Well-Known Member
...would you walk over and say something or wait for your SO/DH to nip it in the bud?

This weekend I was in a situation like this. I was out with my SO and we were both mingling with other people when I saw a woman go over to him and engage him in conversation. I could tell thru their body language that she was flirting and he was uncomfortable (probably cause he felt my stare of death glaring into the back of his neck :hot: ).

I opted not to go over there and sit back to see what he was going to do. For "his" sake :look: ,he did cut the woman off by pointing over to me and asking her if she had met his girlfriend. She finally got the hint and backed off.

When I relayed the story to my friend she felt like I should have walked over there and said something. Not necessarily cause a scene but just make my presence known. I can see the point she is making but is it really the woman’s job to shut these situations down? Now I'm kind of second guessing my reaction to the situation and feel like maybe I should have said something...thoughts?
 
You did the right thing OP! After all, when you are not around and this happens he has to still nip it in the bud anyway!
 
You handled it perfectly. Good for you. And good for him. I like how he handled things as well.
 
I always say ain't no such thing as a good looking, educated,single man. He is with someone, wife or girlfriend.

I was having drinks a while back and one of my single friends said to one of my married friends, "You have nothing to worry about with your husband. He never tries to flirt or respond to flirts."

To which my married friend said,"How would you know, are you checking for him to do that with you?"

They don't speak to this day.

I am single and fairly attractive so I always downplay my sexuality when I am unsure of someone's dating status because I don't want no trouble. When I do date or interested in someone, it is because he has expressed interest in me.
 
FelaShrine said:
You did the right thing

what your friend suggested is very insecure.
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That was my first thought, but my friend kind of made it seem like by not saying something it came across as insecure on my part...like I'm letting this woman punk me. :ohwell:

I know it's shallow but another reason I didn't say anything is because I didn't feel physically threatened by the woman. I know that looks aren't always a factor, but I think that plays a big part too...
 
It happens all the time. I let him handle it. I used to be single-ometimes you miss the ring, sometimes you are just enjoying yourself. *shrug* Momma said if he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat. I like to keep my systolics in the 115-117 range.
 
PopLife said:
That was my first thought, but my friend kind of made it seem like by not saying something it came across as insecure on my part...like I'm letting this woman punk me. :ohwell:
.
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Your friend sounds delusional

Those women you see coming from no where introducing THEMSELVES and ish or giving their men the mean glare forcing dude to introduce them look so pathetic to me and Im sure they look the same to everyone else.
 
FelaShrine said:
Your friend sounds delusional

Those women you see coming from no where introducing THEMSELVES and ish or giving their men the mean glare forcing dude to introduce them look so pathetic to me and Im sure they look the same to everyone else.
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Naw, she sounds young as hayle and hood.
 
diadall said:
I always say ain't no such thing as a good looking, educated,single man. He is with someone, wife or girlfriend.

I was having drinks a while back and one of my single friends said to one of my married friends, "You have nothing to worry about with your husband. He never tries to flirt or respond to flirts."

To which my married friend said,"How would you know, are you checking for him to do that with you?"

They don't speak to this day.

I am single and fairly attractive so I always downplay my sexuality when I am unsure of someone's dating status because I don't want no trouble. When I do date or interested in someone, it is because he has expressed interest in me.
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You make a good point. Dh and I were once at a party and while I was in the restroom and he was waiting for me, a woman had approached him and was chit-chatting. When I approached and he introduced me to her, she looked so embarrassed. I think maybe single women, especially once they reach a certain age, say 25-30, should assume the guy is taken until it is proven that he is not.
 
Meh, you did the right thing OP.

You aren't with your man 24/7, so he has to handle up whether you're there or not. What if some guy approached you and tried to flirt? You'd cut him down, right? Your SO wouldn't even have to be around.

I do think it's cute that you gave him the "look of death". :giggle:
 
diadall said:
I always say ain't no such thing as a good looking, educated,single man. He is with someone, wife or girlfriend.

I was having drinks a while back and one of my single friends said to one of my married friends, "You have nothing to worry about with your husband. He never tries to flirt or respond to flirts."

To which my married friend said,"How would you know, are you checking for him to do that with you?"

They don't speak to this day.

I am single and fairly attractive so I always downplay my sexuality when I am unsure of someone's dating status because I don't want no trouble. When I do date or interested in someone, it is because he has expressed interest in me.
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Yeah, some women are bold and especially the "clear" ones :look:. I know there's a good chance she saw him walk in with me, but still tried to test the boundaries. I never assume anyone is single, bandless fingers mean nothing...
 
FelaShrine said:
Your friend sounds delusional

Those women you see coming from no where introducing THEMSELVES and ish or giving their men the mean glare forcing dude to introduce them look so pathetic to me and Im sure they look the same to everyone else.
Click to expand...

allmundjoi said:
Naw, she sounds young as hayle and hood.
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That's the thing she is quite reserved so I was a little put off with her suggestion of how I should have handled the situation. I guess for some women when it comes to their man all reservations fly out the window...lol.
 
I would have handled things the same way you did, PopLife, as it was his responsibility to put the breaks on things. As for your friend's suggestion, whether or not she makes her "presence known" to the other woman is irrelevant... SO/DH knows his relationship status on it's on him to draw the line.
 
I think you did the right thing. Women who do as your friend suggested come off crazy and insecure, especially when they do that with every woman who even glances at their man.

I would never check a woman about my husband unless she addressed me directly. Even if I'm sitting right there and a woman approaches him, I feel it's his job to handle her, not mine.
 
I guess I'll be the dissenting voice. I don't see the big deal in walking over. When I'm someplace with my man, we separate occasionally, but for the most part, we hang out together. That's my man. And my best friend. Where else would I be? I wouldn't have approached them scowling, just my normal friendly self, but why should I deny myself of fabulous company because some random chick happens to be standing there? She ain't nobody.

And, I don't see why homegirl gotta be ghetto, crazy, and insecure for *walking over,* in essence, re-joining your 'date.' She ain't say OP shoulda laid her out, did she? Alright, then, dang. Y'all don't know ghetto if you think a hood chick would have suggested just walking over, lol.
 
Honey Bee said:
I guess I'll be the dissenting voice. I don't see the big deal in walking over. When I'm someplace with my man, we separate occasionally, but for the most part, we hang out together. That's my man. And my best friend. Where else would I be? I wouldn't have approached them scowling, just my normal friendly self, but why should I deny myself of fabulous company because some random chick happens to be standing there? She ain't nobody.

And, I don't see why homegirl gotta be ghetto, crazy, and insecure for *walking over,* in essence, re-joining your 'date.' She ain't say OP shoulda laid her out, did she? Alright, then, dang. Y'all don't know ghetto if you think a hood chick would have suggested just walking over, lol.
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Lol the last sentence is very true!
 
Girl I would have handled that situation just as you did. Good thing you got yourself a man who knew how to handle the situation.
 
Honey Bee said:
I guess I'll be the dissenting voice. I don't see the big deal in walking over. When I'm someplace with my man, we separate occasionally, but for the most part, we hang out together. That's my man. And my best friend. Where else would I be? I wouldn't have approached them scowling, just my normal friendly self, but why should I deny myself of fabulous company because some random chick happens to be standing there? She ain't nobody.

And, I don't see why homegirl gotta be ghetto, crazy, and insecure for *walking over,* in essence, re-joining your 'date.' She ain't say OP shoulda laid her out, did she? Alright, then, dang. Y'all don't know ghetto if you think a hood chick would have suggested just walking over, lol.
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OP said that her friend made it seem like she was insecure because she did not go over there, and because of that the woman was punking her. You're right, the woman flirting is a nobody. But to make the OP feel like she had to be there when someone of the opposite sex is talking to her man screams insecurity on the friends part.
 
Honey Bee said:
I guess I'll be the dissenting voice. I don't see the big deal in walking over. When I'm someplace with my man, we separate occasionally, but for the most part, we hang out together. That's my man. And my best friend. Where else would I be? I wouldn't have approached them scowling, just my normal friendly self, but why should I deny myself of fabulous company because some random chick happens to be standing there? She ain't nobody.

And, I don't see why homegirl gotta be ghetto, crazy, and insecure for *walking over,* in essence, re-joining your 'date.' She ain't say OP shoulda laid her out, did she? Alright, then, dang. Y'all don't know ghetto if you think a hood chick would have suggested just walking over, lol.
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Lol, I know ghetto and yes, I have seen 'hood chicks' walk over and get messy. If you are secure why make your presence known, unless you truly want to meet that girl? Are you networking too? Lol, probably not. I think it is insecure, especially if folks are being honest about why they are walking over. It doesnt make sense to me. Females look overly thirsty and weak when they do that.
 
This used to happen with me and my ex all the time. He is like a target for thirsty girls.

I remember when I was on the opposite side of this. I met this guy at a professional event and we had hit it off, in a platonic sense. He was very tall, very chocolatey, very handsome, and a former NFL player who had transitioned into business and was really successful. He was funny and really friendly and we spent s lot of time talking... but it was about school-related stuff, he had a sibling interested in my field. But when we met I was dating my ex and I was very cotent and happy in that relationship so I wasn't checking for him at all. But he was friendly though.

I happened to run into him at a party about a year later, totally different scene, it was dark, I was dressed up, wearing some makeup, slightly tipsy, and as I was walking past he tapped me on the arm. I immediately remembered him, he looked as delicious as ever :lol:. By this time I was single, and I'll admit, I can be very flirtatious IRL sometimes so I was like "Heyyy" and I'm sure I was giving off some type of vibe. To his credit he nipped that in bud QUICK and introduced me to his wife immediately who happened to be standing right there. :lol:

His wife was very sweet and friendly, and quite pretty. :yep:

I was like :blush: cuz I did not know he was married!!! :lol:. So even though I know it's annoying, sometimes it is totally innocent. I personally don't assume a guy is taken if he tries to strike up a conversation with me, cuz I know guys don't go around making new girlfriends for the heck of it if they're single.... Not if they're totally straight. And pretty much guys only strike up random conversations with girls they're attracted to. Or at least that's what I've observed.
 
You handled it perfectly OP.

I never have to go over to stake anything because my SO checks that mess immediately by telling the inappropriate woman upfront that he has a gf. For the ones that are deaf, he just follows it up with "My gf has a 2nd Dan black belt in taekwondo," which never fails.
 
msbettyboop said:
You handled it perfectly OP.

I never have to go over to stake anything because my SO checks that mess immediately by telling the inappropriate woman upfront that he has a gf. For the ones that are deaf, he just follows it up with "My gf has a 2nd Dan black belt in taekwondo," which never fails.
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Lol...wait, do you really?
 
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