I wanted to stab him!! Pics included

miss stress

miss stress

Well-Known Member
My daughter has alwys had issues with her hair. It never grew past a certian point and at one point in time, she had even pulled bald spots in it. That was b4 I found the hairboards. Anyway, she's 3 and natural (of course) and currently doing the crown and glory method using braids. So yesterday I was taking down her latest install and thinking to myself how proud of myself I am cause her hair really has turned around and dh looks at her big natural afro and says to me," she's lucky I'm not her only parent." I found that weird so I ask why and he replies," cause I would have relaxed her hair a looong time ago! Look at it its so unmanageable!"

It literally took every fiber in my being to keep me from slapping him that was the most ignorant mess anyone has ever said to me and abt my baby?

What kind of self hating FATHER would relax a freakin 3 yr old? On the other hand, I know where it comes from because his mother and sisters r just like him If a black woman has long hair it must be a weave or she's mixed and at the times whn I let my daughter rock her afro as opposed to the braids, they make me seem like the laziest mother in the world for not "doing" her hair.

I hate this world!

anyway here r some shots of when I took down her braids yesterday, and then some from when we first found lhcf and some of the braided styles she's worn

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She's adorable. I'm sorry he said that. Lucky she has you as a parent though! You are doing some good things because I can see the progress.

Just watch, she'll have the longest hair of all the family. :)
 
First of all.......:orders:You are a good mommy!

I think your :babyb: hair has done a complete turn around and it looks wonderful. I :clap: you for not giving your 3 year old a relaxer. Her

growth/retention is beautiful and keep up the good work.
 
First of all she is gorgeous. She looks like an African princess.

Folks are ignorant, yes, even our family members. When my daughter was not even 1 my mother said she had "bad" hair. I was so mad. I posted about it on here.

You are doing the right thing. Her hair is so very healthy and looks to be about a 4A or B. My daughter's is 4z...she has a "z" texture pattern. Keep doing what your're doing and congratulations on not being one of the ignorant ones!
 
He just needs some edumacation- that's all. Lucky him that he has a good wife that can teach him. Try not to hurt him, okay? And your little girl is precious. You seem like a kind and patient mom.
 
Men can be so harsh sometimes and that comment is from years of hearing his mom and sister's opinion about "black" hair. I have a son but sometimes he make comments about my wigs by saying "why you have to wear those wigs when you got some good hair". I just have to remind him that my wigs are the reason I have some hair. Girl, I can go on and on about some of the comments. Just keep doing what you are doing because your baby's hair is beautiful and has made a complete turn around thanks to YOU!

BTW: What post are you guys at?
 
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Your baby is GORGEOUS!!! I love her smile, you can see the joy in her eyes. Well done mommy.
Much congrats on having the patience to work out her hair issues. So many wouldn't have done it. I'm sure you will give her the confidence she needs to rock her natural hair beauty.
 
Thank you guys so much!! It just really hurt my feelings to think that at the same time I think shes really comming along this clown that I married isthinking it still isnt good enough and then to say it in front of her. I really could have cried cause the truth is I would leave him b4 I let him give my daughter a complex abt herself. Thers too much of that in he world already and its time to break the cycle.
 
krissyprissy said:
Men can be so harsh sometimes and that comment is from years of hearing his mom and sister's opinion about "black" hair. I have a son but sometimes he make comments about my wigs by saying "why you have to wear those wigs when you got some good hair". I just have to remind him that my wigs are the reason I have some hair. Girl, I can go on and on about some of the comments. Just keep doing what you are doing because your baby's hair is beautiful and has made a complete turn around thanks to YOU!

BTW: What post are you guys at?
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Girl were at Grafenwohr. R u in germany too? Cause if u r we have to meet up I need some friends!!
 
OMG. I would've been angry as I don't know what. I can't imagine someone saying that to me about my daughter's hair. Oh I would've $%^&#@! Anyways your daughter's hair is gorgeous. She's gorgeous. I hope he doesn't say anything like that anymore. Little girls feel bad enough about themselves without having someone close to home being ignorant as well. I'll never forget that video on youtube where almost 90% of all the black lil girls and boys chose the white doll instead of the black one, and said the white one was prettier. Truly heartbtreaking.
 
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Your dd is so pretty and has a beautiful smile. Don't listen to his foolishness and keep doing what you have been doing b/c it has been working.
 
It is hard not to go Freddy Kruger on exes sometime.

Keep your head high and keep showering that girl baby with positive affirmations about her hair and her beauty. Keep letting her know there is nothing wrong with the way she looks and also start training her as soon it is possible to give a response to those including her father about her keeping her natural looks from head to toe because that is the way she was made.
 
Nali1987 said:
OMG. I would've been angry as I don't know what. I can't imagine someone saying that to me about my daughter's hair. Oh I would've $%^&#@! Anyways your daughter's hair is gorgeous. She's gorgeous. I hope he doesn't say anything like that anymore. Little girls feel about enough without having someone close to home being ignorant as well. I'll never forget that video on youtube where almost 90% of all the black lil girls and boys chose the white doll instead of the black one, and said the white one was prettier. Truly heartbtreaking.
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Girl I saw that too and yes it was a shame and I just really want my son and daughter to honestly like themselves I dont want her to have daddy issues and become a whore looking for approval from other men cause her daddy wasnt there for her in that way

But at shes only 3 so I suppose thats far off.............

rant over
 
what a pretty little girl and she has pretty hair, before you know it will be wsl. the sad thing is that most black folks think this way and it could give your baby a complex,smh. you're such a great mommy stand strong and firm in your beliefs!
 
mscocoface said:
It is hard not to go Freddy Kruger on exes sometime.

Keep your head high and keep showering that girl baby with positive affirmations about her hair and her beauty. Keep letting her know there is nothing wrong with the way she looks and also start training her as soon it is possible to give a response to those including her father about her keeping her natural looks from head to toe because that is the way she was made.
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were married, but the comment he made made me wanna make him an ex! lol
 
Sometimes men don't understand especially when they've been bombarded with messages and images of straightened hair. My Dad sometimes makes off the wall comments about "nappy" hair and my mom keeps him in check..lol Luckily my husband is so supportive and even if he notices .25 inch of growth he thinks it's long...he'll go so far to pick our little ones hair out in an afro (and he has no combing skills...lol)
Keep educating him and he'll eventually come around..hopefully
 
Ahh, she is adorable and I love her fro. Check our happygirlhair.com and see how that mother cares for her twins hair. One twin is 3a and the other 4b and she let's them both proudly wear their hair out. It's ashamed that it takes white folks to appreciate our unique beauty.
 
Keep doing what you are doing!!!! Her hair looks great.

Some men are clueless...just educate him. At the very least let him know that its not acceptable to say negative things about her hair. He'll get it.

..my DH finally "got" it. All he knew was relaxers, weaves and grease. All the kids and adults in our family has weaves and relaxers. He thought being natural meant having a "bunt" fro aka TWA. He had no clue about transitioning. I had to school him. He now talks about moisturizers and steal mine. He never says nappy and always say curly or natural hair. We have 2 DDs and this was very important to me and I expressed that to him.

Also, let it be known that there will be not relaxers in your baby's head. Let him, his mom, and sister know that.
 
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Your daughter is such a cutie. You're doing a wonderful job with her hair so keep with it no matter what your hubby or anyone else says.
 
Umm.. I think her hair is beautiful and looks soft and gorgeous. However, I hate when people make remarks in front of children! I know she's three but I'm glad you shut it down.
 
miss stress said:
Girl I saw that too and yes it was a shame and I just really want my son and daughter to honestly like themselves I dont want her to have daddy issues and become a whore looking for approval from other men cause her daddy wasnt there for her in that way

But at shes only 3 so I suppose thats far off.............

rant over
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LOL. I can imagine how you feel. Let's just hope it was one of the stupid-moments men sometimes have.
 
mama, she is ADORABLE. you have done such an AMAZING job on her hair. you should be so proud of yourself and i absolutely love her fro! please ignore your dh. men can be so stupid sometimes. they don't know any better
 
OMG she is beautiful! Congratulations on your progress, her hair looks very healthy! Keep up the good work!

As for you dh's comments.....he'd have hell to pay after saying some mess like that...
 
This self hate was INTENTIONALLY instilled in BLACK PEOPLE ABOUT THEMSELVES by the massas.....and now some are psychologically still seeking MAASA'S APPROVAL. I hate the psycological damage that has been done to our minds about our skin color, our hair, our feet, our butts, our sexuality......when will we get it through our heads that this was an intentional move on their parts to 'elevate themselves over us IN OUR OWN MINDS?"

BLACK PEOPLE did not think this mess up.....Before slavery, there was NONE OF THIS NONSENSE BEING SPOUTED!


there I said it.
 
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