I wanted to stab him!! Pics included

Your daughter is beautiful. Her hair reminds me of my daughter's hair at that age. My husband use to say things like that too. Now, you should hear how he ooh and aah over her hair when it's in a big afro. He tells her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her hair.

Keep doing what you're doing. He will come around.
 
I think most men feel that way, but they don't say it, only because they don't understand what goes into taking care of natural and relaxed hair. Sometimes I wish they had to walk in our shoes for a couple of months. Maybe it's time to start teaching him about our hair and how your daughter needs him to affirm her with beautiful affirmations. You're doing a great job.
 
Your daughter is super cute, and it's messed up that your husband has been brainwashed to believe that straight hair is it. Your not alone, my husband (who is puerto rican) who after intially giving his support of me going natural, cam out and told the turth that he hates nappy hair, and he wants me to start back wearing straight hair like when we first started dating. I told him I was hurt VERY HURT, but that I will perhaps wear some weaves, because I WILL NOT PUT THST CRAP IN MY HAIR ANYMORE. Further more he has made so many negative comments about nappy hair that my 13 yr old, who was starting to embrace her natural curls, wants a relaxer. SO I feel ya.
 
She is so cute...and so is her hair....A lot of men have verbal vomit...they just don't think before trash just spills out of their mouth.....Yes, your daughter is very lucky she has you as a parent....He is so correct!
I have to tell my husband all the time....It's not what you say but how you say it....I have to try very hard not to be on the next episode of Snapped with him sometimes...
 
I hope you have made it clear to your inlaws and your hubby not to put a relaxer in your babies hair when she is at Grandma's house!!!!
 
Ahhhh, Miss Stress...I applaude u for your restaint. I know that I could not have let such an ignorant comment go without some type of conflict arising. Being a mother of a natural with another child on the way, I would never put a perm in my daughter's hair! And I hope that with all the knowledge I will teach her, she would not want to either.

You daughter's hair is beautiful. Its thick ,shiny, and healthy. You should still be very proud of your accomplish and I think you're doing a fine job! Keep doing you, mom! In a year or so, they'll be so jealous of her hair! Make sure you continue to take pics because somehow, haters always forget where you started from!
 
Wow, tell SPC _____ that if I heard him make that statement me & all 8 of my rockers would place him in the front leaning rest till he came to appreciate "natural beauty"...or muscle fatigue set in!!!!!!

Anywho, please talk with him to "enlighten" him about the beauty and challenges of "natural hair". I see to many female soldiers that have had a remark like that made to them or their supervisors about their natural hair.

It's very demeaning! .....and as a "Future Leader" he "needs to recognize!".



Hooooah!
BTW, that attitude won't change in a year, it will take a while!
 
1. Your daughter and her hair are beautiful. Keep doing what you are doing.

2. Continue to try and bring your DH on board, but be CRYSTAL CLEAR about your expectations and plans to care for her hair in its natural state. Tell him and HIS FAMILY AS WELL.

3. BE MINDFUL WHEN SHE IS LEFT IN THE CARE OF OTHERS. There have been a couple members here who have had relaxers put in their children's hair without their consent by self-hating family members.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=218025
 
That is sad. Unfortunately those negative image of black hair are hard to break, especially if you don't know the first thing about it.
This reminds me of a time when my dad asked if I was gonna let my sister walk around with her hair "all nappy like that" (It was freshly washed and conditioned, and she was natural at the time)

Anyway, cute fro.
 
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Your daughter's absolutely beautiful.:littleang Sorry he said that. The "good hair/bad hair" thing is a pet peeve of mine. It's a disease in our culture. Her hair has come a long way, keep up the good work. Maybe you should let the DH know how his comment affected you and could have affected your DD.
 
Mahalialee4 said:
This self hate was INTENTIONALLY instilled in BLACK PEOPLE ABOUT THEMSELVES by the massas.....and now some are psychologically still seeking MAASA'S APPROVAL. I hate the psycological damage that has been done to our minds about our skin color, our hair, our feet, our butts, our sexuality......when will we get it through our heads that this was an intentional move on their parts to 'elevate themselves over us IN OUR OWN MINDS?"

BLACK PEOPLE did not think this mess up.....Before slavery, there was NONE OF THIS NONSENSE BEING SPOUTED!


there I said it.
Click to expand...

THANK YOU!!! That statement made me think of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5as5S6eyZhg&playnext_from=TL&videos=Y0gnpwzNx_Q

Mommy you are doing a great job and your baby looks absolutely beautiful:yep:
 
Hi Mis Stress. Oooh weee......he can't deny that one! She looks JUST like his arse.
Anyhow SHE IS TOO CUTE! And what you've done with her hair reminds me of the effort my mother was willing to put into me & my sister's hair. I had past apl hair at 13 when i got my first relaxer.

Back to ya'll's baby....Hands down have to give to ya' you've done a LOVELY job.
Only thing my mom didn't do that (as far as hair goes) i wish she would have...is validate her own daughters by instilling in us that our natural hair & beauty were/are GOOD ENOUGH! And learn not to compare it with anyone elses!


ETA: When he looks at his daughter one day (God willing she doesn't go against your teachings) and see's that her hair has made to lengths and done things he never thought it could/would do he'll FEEL REAL SMART then...NOT..lol. No, but he'll see Momma was the SMART ONE!
Just have to say again: I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH HER HAIR!
 
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Wow.

Well first of all your daughter is absolutely gorgeous and her hair is incredibly healthy....you're doing an amazing job with her hair.

As for your DH ....well he's already your husband so I would say make it your business to educate him on why he is brainwashed and the fact that you refuse to pass down that self-hating pathology of low self-esteem down to your children....if you don't address this with him and nip it in the bud...she will grow up to be yet another part of the masses of LOST Black girls in America.

My mother didn't play that. If you so much as said relaxer in the same room as me when I was a little girl she was like:brucelee::boxing: "shes natural and she's staying natural" I used to be like well dang mommy:look: but I've come to realize you have to put your foot down....99% of the time she would get compliments for how thick and long my hair natural was and not to ruin it with relaxers though:grin: that made me feel good as a little girl.

Make sure you educate him and make it your business to prevent him from poisoning her mind with his eurocentrism.
 
Omg you're daughter is sooooooo precious!

But yeah comments like that make me SOOOO angry inside. :wallbash: As a 4a natural, I too, in the beginning thought my hair was difficult to manage. But I now realize I was ignorant. Cuz know what? I don't even GET tangles anymore and that just tickles me pink!

:offrant: It ain't easy being a curlyhead in a straighthead world! People only think natural black hair is difficult to manage because they try to deal with it the same way they would straight hair. That's silly! You wouldn't try to eat an orange like you do an apple, would you? Just cuz you gotta peel the orange doesn't mean it ain't good! Okay I'm done...
 
Your daughter is beautiful and kudos to you for not relaxing her hair. Your husband on the other hand needs to be re-educated thats all. My mother was my worst critic...however she has not had a perm since I stopped perming AND she has an appointment for sisterlocs this June :rofl: people can change with education and time.
 
Your dd is beautiful and you are doing a wonderful job. I had to set my hubby straight as well. My dd is 8 months and he said yea we wont get her hair relaxed until she 5. After i basically ripped him a new one I showed him that episode of Tyra where the little girls were talking about how they didn't like their hair and needed relaxers or wigs. He basically changed his tune.
 
Your daughter is pretty and you did an excellent job with helping her hair grow. You are right that people with no real hair care retention knowledge would say something crazy and ignorant. You don't want to be relaxing a young child because they find lye on black woman's brain when they die. So imagine what could happen to a 3 year old.
 
Most of the 3 year olds I know aren't relaxed. Where is he coming from?

Your daughter is beautiful. That cornrow hairstyle is so cute! No disrespect to your husband, but he crazy. :laugh:

Have you ripped him a new one. . .er, I mean, had a civil heart to heart talk with him? *cough*
 
Your daughter's so cute! You did a great job with her hair. Forgive your hubby. Like you said, He doesn't know any better. She's his baby too. I doubt he'd want to harm her on purpose.
 
If I were you I would watch her carefully. You never know if he would allow one of his family members to relax her behind your back.

I think her hair in so beautiful and she is a doll!
 
Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! When you grow her hair down her back your husband will be telling everybody how happy he is that his wife did not perm her hair. Just wait. By the way her hair has did a complete turn around and is looking really good. Keep up the good work.:grin::grin::grin:
 
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