I want a boyfriend!

[Glib Gurl]

I am sick of being the girl who sits on the sidelines while her friends are out dating. I'm social. I'm friendly. I smile. (Well, most of the time. ) A friend is dating a new guy who asked her out and he seems really great - smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the only thing a guy asks me to do is to get out of his way so he can talk to some other chick . . . .

Help me not to be envious of my sista-friend and to be happy for her.

 

[CurliDiva]

I am sick of being the girl who sits on the sidelines while her friends are out dating. I'm social. I'm friendly. I smile. (Well, most of the time. ) A friend is dating a new guy who asked her out and he seems really great - smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the only thing a guy asks me to do is to get out of his way so he can talk to some other chick . . . .

Help me not to be envious of my sista-friend and to be happy for her.

You're so crazy!

Hang in there girl, but I can relate:

I'm tried of hearing about how this is the time to focus on "me" and my hobbies/interests! I'm cool, but I want a new hobby and his name should be ......

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Maybe you can try Calling in the One with us.

I feel you, though. . .holidys are coming. It's getting cold. *sniff sniff*

 

[Reslnt1]

but I want a new hobby and his name should be ..........[/quote]


I feel u on that....lmao

 

[nychaelasymone]

be careful of what you ask for....u just might get it.

 

[Bunny77]

Maybe you can try Calling in the One with us.

I feel you, though. . .holidys are coming. It's getting cold. *sniff sniff*

I co-sign... I'm finally going to start being proactive and not just hope a dude falls from the sky.

It seems like when people I know decide that they want to be with someone and take (legitimate) steps to make it happen, it happens.

 

[MzLady78]

I co-sign... I'm finally going to start being proactive and not just hope a dude falls from the sky.

It seems like when people I know decide that they want to be with someone and take (legitimate) steps to make it happen, it happens.

Hey Bunny- are you still seeing that dude from a few months ago?

 

[Bunny77]

Hey Bunny- are you still seeing that dude from a few months ago?

Ugh, no... let me tell you...

Okay, so see, he seemed cool and all, but he is soooo rebounding from a divorce and doesn't recognize it AT ALL. We still talk, but he basically backed off so much that it's not even worth trying to continue anything with him really.

He'll be like, "Hey, if you're in Detroit any time soon, give me a call and we'll hang out." (I live an hour from Detroit, but I go there all the time to see family, go to meetings, etc.)

Aight, but see, like, why can't YOU come up to see me, OR set like, an actual DATE so we can get together instead of this, "Call me when you're in town," BS.

So anyway... what I did learn from this situation is that I'm tired of playing around. I'm tired of just hoping and waiting for the right dude to sorta/kinda/maybe cross my path. I'm going to take some action and cut folks off more quickly if they start acting up like this dude did.

(I swear, I'll PM very soon...)

 

[MzLady78]

Ugh, no... let me tell you...

Okay, so see, he seemed cool and all, but he is soooo rebounding from a divorce and doesn't recognize it AT ALL. We still talk, but he basically backed off so much that it's not even worth trying to continue anything with him really.

He'll be like, "Hey, if you're in Detroit any time soon, give me a call and we'll hang out." (I live an hour from Detroit, but I go there all the time to see family, go to meetings, etc.)

Aight, but see, like, why can't YOU come up to see me, OR set like, an actual DATE so we can get together instead of this, "Call me when you're in town," BS.

So anyway... what I did learn from this situation is that I'm tired of playing around. I'm tired of just hoping and waiting for the right dude to sorta/kinda/maybe cross my path. I'm going to take some action and cut folks off more quickly if they start acting up like this dude did.

(I swear, I'll PM very soon...)

Damn.

Yeah, I'll be waiting, LOL.

 

[Kalayani]

I am sick of being the girl who sits on the sidelines while her friends are out dating. I'm social. I'm friendly. I smile. (Well, most of the time. ) A friend is dating a new guy who asked her out and he seems really great - smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the only thing a guy asks me to do is to get out of his way so he can talk to some other chick . . . .

Help me not to be envious of my sista-friend and to be happy for her.

You crazy GG; but I can relate…I’m tired of being the friend who is helping all her girls plan their wedding, baby shower etc or the therapist that has to listen to all of their man related drama.

I want a boyfriend too so I decided I’m going to be proactive about it. I want to join Match.com (I am so scared of going on a date after 2 plus years of being single) and I am going on a blind date next week (if I’m not a punk and chicken out).

 

[glam-]

be careful of what you ask for....u just might get it.

Exactly, you might get one but it's somebody where you really just feel like, "Yeah, whatever" and you don't really get excited about talking to them or hanging out- you're just going through the motions. That's no fun
You might want to be really specific in your boyfriend request. i.e. I want a boyfriend who:

• has similar values
• is fun to be with
• won't talk my ear off constantly, but also won't be too quiet
• I look forward to talking to on the phone and seeing person
• has at least a moderate amount of drive/ambition
• won't make me nervous when he talks about 'our' future, 'cause I know I'm not feeling it, but I'm afraid to miss out on my chance to get married, etc
• etc, etc

I've learned there are nice guys, but you have to find the right one for you. Having a boyfriend can be fun, but if your feelings aren't in it you'll feel like a fraud.

So, Glib I hope you find the right one for you- I hope I find the right one for me too.

 

[KEWLKAT103]

I am sick of being the girl who sits on the sidelines while her friends are out dating. I'm social. I'm friendly. I smile. (Well, most of the time. ) A friend is dating a new guy who asked her out and he seems really great - smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the only thing a guy asks me to do is to get out of his way so he can talk to some other chick . . . .

Help me not to be envious of my sista-friend and to be happy for her.

I know you were asking about eharmony. What about that? Try a dating website or 2 or 3. I'm not saying you will find a boyfriend immediately, but it will increase your odds.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Glad to know I'm not the only one who is feeling this way. Hmmm . . . maybe we need to start a challenge to motivate ourselves!

 

[foxxymami]

Girl, you've got to occupy yourself with things that make you happy.

Why do you want a boyfriend? To make you happy? Weelllllp, that's why you fill in the mean time and between time with those other things that make you equally happy .

It will happen but just be patient, confident, and keep sitting pretty....your prince charming will come along! Don't focus on what your girl friend is doing in her love life or what kind of guy she is dating. What is the right guy and the right time for one may not be the right guy and time for the other. Rest assured that YOUR Mr. Right On Time is on his way and he'll get there before you know it

I HTH a little bit

 

[OrangeMoon]

I am sick of being the girl who sits on the sidelines while her friends are out dating. I'm social. I'm friendly. I smile. (Well, most of the time. ) A friend is dating a new guy who asked her out and he seems really great - smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the only thing a guy asks me to do is to get out of his way so he can talk to some other chick . . . .

Help me not to be envious of my sista-friend and to be happy for her.

LMAO don't worry I've been there. No I have a BF and I want to send him back to where he came from sometimes*but that another story* I was single for two years while my friends had baby showers, weddings, parties and all types of crap and brought my single always a bridesmaid helpful a$$ friend who mailed out invitations, ran errands, baby sat, picked up kids from school all the while smiling happily but thinking to myself I wanna stab this bia bia in her eye because she's got everything and why can't it be me...urghhhh *sigh* Or the I can't stand his ass I want to call you in the middle of the night friend because he ain't home and need someone to talk to friend. *now I'm a counselor* Then I graduated from college and moved to Atlanta. The next week I sat around for a whole week before I started my job then realized while sitting my unhappy a$$ on a couch on Friday night eatting ice cream and watching BS on TV bymyself and why:

1. I don't have any kids
2. I'm educated
3. Can do what I want when I want don't need a babysitter, don't have to ask or tell my husband I'm going...
4. Can takecare of myself
5. I'm the baddest bia bia on the planet flaws and all
6. None of my friends can just pick up and move to another city in snap like I did
7. It's okay to be single

Be happy that you are single, embrace it and use the time to work on you. Find joy in whatever it is you like to do, keep your head held high and look damn good while doing it. Get out more often but don't go out just looking for anyone. Before you know it you'll have a BF or a bunch of dudes to call when you want to do xyz. You know...one to take you to breakfast, one to carry your bags when you go shopping, a mr. fix it and more for numerous misc. stuff. After you weed out all the go for just one thing you'll find the one that good at all of them before you know it.

And don't wish for it because I did and sometimes I wonder(yeah I love me SO but ) if I was better off single. Be care what you ask and wish for cuzz baby you'll get it!

 

[chinadoll]

be careful of what you ask for....u just might get it.

This is true but the question is when??? because I'm impatient and my hormones are on fiyah. I want to give up my virginity now, not the next millienum. lol Sorry for hijacking your thread Glib, back to the OT.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I am sick of being the girl who sits on the sidelines while her friends are out dating. I'm social. I'm friendly. I smile. (Well, most of the time. ) A friend is dating a new guy who asked her out and he seems really great - smart, funny, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, the only thing a guy asks me to do is to get out of his way so he can talk to some other chick . . . .

Help me not to be envious of my sista-friend and to be happy for her.

I pray that my opinion is well received, and I thought about this a few times before I posted. I am trying to say this in a very positive way and not to hurt any feelings.
I hope that the energy that you send out is not what you wrote on this thread. "I'm the girl who sits on the sidelines while my friends are dating...The only thing a guy wants from me is to get out of his way..." I'm not really talking about LOA, but just in general if that's how you truly feel about yourself, that's what guys will pick up. Confidence is one of the most attractive features anyone can have. You have to believe you are great and worthy before anyone else will.

 

[OrangeMoon]

This is true but the question is when??? because I'm impatient and my hormones are on fiyah. I want to give up my virginity now, not the next millienum. lol Sorry for hijacking your thread Glib, back to the OT.

LOL Chinadoll....don't do it, don't do it. You will find someone who is worthy.

 

[Much2much41]

This is true but the question is when??? because I'm impatient and my hormones are on fiyah. I want to give up my virginity now, not the next millienum. lol Sorry for hijacking your thread Glib, back to the OT.

Then now is DEFINITELY not the time to give up your virginity, because you could end up "giving" it to the WRONG one, and that is the WORST!! You're a really cute girl that looks nice and clean, not like some of these hoodrat, nasty looking skanks walkin up and down the street, so you don't have to settle for Mr. Right Now. Don't give away your diamond for a dollar!!!

 

[Glib Gurl]

This is true but the question is when??? because I'm impatient and my hormones are on fiyah. I want to give up my virginity now, not the next millienum. lol Sorry for hijacking your thread Glib, back to the OT.

No, that's no threadjack because lovin' is part of the equation . . . .

 

[Glib Gurl]

Then now is DEFINITELY not the time to give up your virginity, because you could end up "giving" it to the WRONG one, and that is the WORST!! You're a really cute girl that looks nice and clean, not like some of these hoodrat, nasty looking skanks walkin up and down the street, so you don't have to settle for Mr. Right Now. Don't give away your diamond for a dollar!!!

LOL @ bolded -- but it would be okay if she wasn't nice and clean.

 

[*KP*]

Exactly, you might get one but it's somebody where you really just feel like, "Yeah, whatever" and you don't really get excited about talking to them or hanging out- you're just going through the motions. That's no fun
You might want to be really specific in your boyfriend request. i.e. I want a boyfriend who:

• has similar values
• is fun to be with
• won't talk my ear off constantly, but also won't be too quiet
• I look forward to talking to on the phone and seeing person
• has at least a moderate amount of drive/ambition
• won't make me nervous when he talks about 'our' future, 'cause I know I'm not feeling it, but I'm afraid to miss out on my chance to get married, etc
• etc, etc

I've learned there are nice guys, but you have to find the right one for you. Having a boyfriend can be fun, but if your feelings aren't in it you'll feel like a fraud.

So, Glib I hope you find the right one for you- I hope I find the right one for me too.

I have to completely agree with this except I would go a step further. I listened to a motivational course on CD a few years back when feeling quite demotivated about several things in life. Meeting useless men was one of them!

Anyway, one of the CDs focussed on relationships and suggested making 3 lists.

First - what you would absolutely HATE in a man, things you just could not live with.

Second - things you want in an ideal partner and put a star next to the things you definitely could not compromise on

Third - List the qualities you think you need in order to attract the sort of person you described in list 2.

I think this was really effective for me and has been for some friends of mine too. I met someone within a few months (an old friend that was right under my nose) and we are still together 3 years on.

I think the list 1 helps you eliminate waste of time men without getting too sucked in by the good qualities or because they are OK to you sometimes.

List 2 helps you recognise when that someone comes along or if they've been right in front of you the whole time.

And list 3 just helps you work on you.

Of course none of these things replace physical attraction or chemisty but then I put those on my list 2.

 

[chinadoll]

Then now is DEFINITELY not the time to give up your virginity, because you could end up "giving" it to the WRONG one, and that is the WORST!! You're a really cute girl that looks nice and clean, not like some of these hoodrat, nasty looking skanks walkin up and down the street, so you don't have to settle for Mr. Right Now. Don't give away your diamond for a dollar!!!

That's funny, but thanks for the compliment luv.

 

[Sasha Fierce]

Me too Glib Gurl. I hate that I am always the dateless one.

DivaStyle is right. Whether you are dating or not, you gotta have that inner confidence that tells you how great your worth is.

 

[Much2much41]

LOL @ bolded -- but it would be okay if she wasn't nice and clean.

That's funny, but thanks for the compliment luv.

Y'all know what I meant

 

[caligirl]

This is true but the question is when??? because I'm impatient and my hormones are on fiyah. I want to give up my virginity now, not the next millienum. lol Sorry for hijacking your thread Glib, back to the OT.

girl, you need to do some 'self-cultivation' before you make any rash decisions.

 

[cutiebe2]

since I am an only child I have the really great skill of imagination. I can imagine whole lives, senarios, etc
I have my SO imagined in my head...he is purrrfect. He pays my rent and helps me with my student loans
anyway..this is my modified version of LOA. There is a lot of luvv (mental and physical) in this imaginary relationship. When the time comes it wil be real!!
when you define and dream what you want it makes it eaiser for the universe/God to give it to you
your prince will come!!!

 

[chinadoll]

girl, you need to do some 'self-cultivation' before you make any rash decisions.

Yeah I agree. I don't want to lose it to just anybody but to that special someone on my wedding night. I'm just sexually frustrated and it suxs.

 

[simplertimes]

Yeah I agree. I don't want to lose it to just anybody but to that special someone on my wedding night. I'm just sexually frustrated and it suxs.

I feel you girl......that was me a couple years ago....I should have listened to my friend...Her advice:
If you haven't had sex already, DON'T...because sex is like Pringles chips....once you pop you can't stop

 

[glam-]

Yeah I agree. I don't want to lose it to just anybody but to that special someone on my wedding night. I'm just sexually frustrated and it suxs.

Don't do it, don't do it. I was in my early twenties' my first time, it seemed like most everyone I knew had already done it. I think I knew at the time that I was just doing it because I was so curious about what I was missing out on.

I'mready4change is so right- Just wait, it will be hard, but it will be worth it.