I Thought You Were Lying
- Thread starter Lady Esquire
- Start date
Gracie
Active Member
Okay, so how about she was a ball of questions from that day on. I taught her how to prepoo, steam with a towel, and DC properly. Then a few days later she was itching to wash again, so I taught her how to wrap, then airdry with a scarf.
So, yes, she did not even wait to go home to bombard me with questions. I am planning on sending her a care package. Killing her behind with kindness has faired well in the near 13 years with DH. It keeps the drama at bay. Plus there is a bit of satisfaction, because about 2 years ago, she told me that I was killing me hair and
Results will prove them wrong. Gotta love that
Luscious850
Well-Known Member
You really handled that situation well
Lady Esquire
New Member
Well, I think your hair looks fabulous
And since you sending out care packages....
-A
Now ya'll know ya'll don't need no packages from me. But she on the other hand, does need some kinda help.
Mook's hair
New Member
:rofl3:WOW! she interrupted you to dis/insult your hair while at the same time envying and admiring your hair.
Now that's the SuperMIL Powers right there...:flyingwit
She thought you were a dirty liar but was pleasantly surprised to find out that you're not.
Now that's the SuperMIL Powers right there...:flyingwit
She thought you were a dirty liar but was pleasantly surprised to find out that you're not.
Lady Esquire
New Member
Well, I think your hair looks fabulous
And since you sending out care packages....
-A
:rofl3:WOW! she interrupted you to dis/insult your hair while at the same time envying and admiring your hair.
Now that's the SuperMIL Powers right there...:flyingwit
She thought you were a dirty liar but was pleasantly surprised to find out that you're not.
Wow, Mook, you described it perfectly. The MIL Dichotomy.
Sometimes, I think she wants to like me and she wants to hate me...simultaneously.
The fact that I am polite to her and I keep it drama-free, makes her want to hate and like me even more.
Now, I am adding hair to the mix. Poor boo boo's head is gonna explode.
thegirltolove
Member
WOW....good for you. You really handled yourself like the lady you are. I am very proud of you and your hair is absolutely beautiful just like that adorable baby of yours.
Hair Iam
Well-Known Member
Wow, Mook, you described it perfectly. The MIL Dichotomy.
Sometimes, I think she wants to like me and she wants to hate me...simultaneously.
The fact that I am polite to her and I keep it drama-free, makes her want to hate and like me even more.
Now, I am adding hair to the mix
keep pouring out th sweetness ...she'll come around..when they can't beat us they join us
BostonMaria
Well-Known Member
Oh man she gave you a compliment and didn't even know it!
I would take it with a grain of salt. If I ask you if you have a weave, can I receive a care package too? LOL BTW congratulations! Your baby is so precious!
I would take it with a grain of salt. If I ask you if you have a weave, can I receive a care package too? LOL BTW congratulations! Your baby is so precious!
Lady Esquire
New Member
Oh man she gave you a compliment and didn't even know it!
I would take it with a grain of salt. If I ask you if you have a weave, can I receive a care package too? LOL BTW congratulations! Your baby is so precious!
The weave thing did not bug me. The fact that she thought I had been bold-face lying to her all week about it threw me for a loop. But after that, she spent the rest of her days buttering me up....so she worked hard for that care package.
danigurl18
Active Member
idk what I would have done... I hate when people say things like that.. That's the reason why black women have such negative thoughts and low expectations about their hair
NYAmicas
Seeker
ShiShiPooPoo
Well-Known Member
When I read "MIL" I was instantly like 
.
.
LadyKaypnyc
New Member
sky035
Formerly Lisaaa Bonet
LadyEsquire you have beautiful hair. Just goes to show that haterade can infiltrate families as well as co-workers and friends.
^^^ ITA about the haterate thing running in families, especially with the OUT-LAWS because this is the life that I live. I am surrounded by my OUTLAWS and they are pure evil and all smiles
and my DH is so naive to their tricks. This thread is close to my heart because MILs can be such wolves in sheep's clothing (oops...did I say that ). LadyEsq, I do not know you, but from your photos and your gorgeous baby, you excude beauty, confidence, and intelligence, and your poor MIL probably doesn't even know where to start with analyzing you. Poor thang! The care package should help her out a bit.
pinkchocolatedaisy
Well-Known Member
My MIL was visiting for about 2 weeks. For the first 6 days, she would constantly make remarks about how my hair grew and how my daughters' hair grew and
A few hours later, after I had taken them out, I was in the kitchen and she was in the living room, and we were seperated by a wall.
Her: May I share a confidence with you?
Me: (thinking to myself, O shyt!) Sure.
Her: This entire week, every time we talked about your hair, I thought you were lying. I thought there were at least a few peices of weave in there some where.(Thank goodness she could not see my face.... 'cause I was like
Me: Why would I lie to you about something as trivial as hair? I have told you in the past when I was wearing extensions.
Her: Because hair is really hard to grow like you did.
Me: Maybe...but once you learn a few techniques and unlearn bad habits, and....(then she interrupted me)
Her: Especially hair like yours. :eatme:
Me: Hair like mine?????
Her: You know. You do not have the softest hair.
Me: All people can grow hair. Unless one has some sort of scalp disorder...healthy women with all grades of hair can grow it long, if they choose to do so with applying the right techniques.
SILENCE.
well you told her good.. so good she wants your advice! Your hair is beautiful. And congrats on that beautiful beautiful baby!
Blessed_Angel
New Member
I've learned to accept that too many people, especially Black women are so ignorant to hair care. Maybe that's why people are so "bothered" by kinky hair texture; they equate that with lack of length and beauty.
I always knew that Black women could have long hair, cause my hair would easily grow to APL; just long as I didn't relax it (it would break back then cause I didn't know how to care for relaxed hair). And I've seen quite a few other woman with much longer hair; before lurking/joining this site. I just prayed to God that I could find out what they know. And that's what lead me to this site: to find out what IT is. It's so easy to feel powerless about something; but it takes courage to actually take the initiative to find out AND do something about it!!
Lady, I try to explain this to others too, but like your MIL, they don't wanna hear it. If you can open your mind: you CAN'T recieve. Hopefully, she's take your hair success as a LESSON. And stop being so cocky about it; and open her mind. And listen to the advice and suggestions you have to offer.
BTW, there's nothing wrong with your hair texture. It's beautiful and healthy. Even if you had nice hair; she'd still say the same thing. Black women can be our worse critics
; and you would expect to hear that from other races.
Lady Esquire
New Member
Wow. That is really nice of you to say. Like I said in an earlier post, I have learned to transfer all that negative passive-aggressive energy and let her carry it all. Killing her with kindness is gonna make boo boo's head combust.
Seriously Uncouth!!!
Uncouth....love it.....my word for today....that's uppercrust talk for ******!!!
Lady Esquire
New Member
Ok, she was wrong for saying that "hair like yours" bit and thinkin' you're a liar but does anybody else think it's cool that she came clean? I think that's kinda cool... granted it could have been done better.
Yeah. In a way, I do. She is a conflicted person. She is saved and constantly trying to be a good person. In one heartbeat she'll say something nasty and in another, she apologizes and tries to make amends.
Maybe I'm the sucker...but I appreciate her apparent flaws and let all the other BS slide (with my eyes open, though....mama ain't raise no fool).
And to top it off, the hair issue is deep-rooted, so I give her an extra pass.
LaPetiteCoquette
New Member
Ok, she was wrong for saying that "hair like yours" bit and thinkin' you're a liar but does anybody else think it's cool that she came clean? I think that's kinda cool... granted it could have been done better.
Yeah I agree. And personally I can't wait til the day when someone thinks I'm lying about my hair. Can't wait to join that club!
But, OP you handled it really well.
Barbara
Princess
Yeah I agree. And personally I can't wait til the day when someone thinks I'm lying about my hair. Can't wait to join that club!
But, OP you handled it really well.
You're not missing anything. Here's my experience.
Back in January 2009, an older employee (64 years old) in another department made a statement about my hair. I normally wear it in a protective style (bun) 95 percent of the time, so she hasn’t seen me wear it down yet—even though a few other employees have. While I was working at the scanning machine, she stopped by and said: “It looks like you have it (the bun) attached to the back of your head.” I told her: “This is my natural hair.” She said: “It looks full. Have you ever thought about wearing it down?” I said: “I have.” Then she went away.
About a month later (February), while I dropped some mail in her office, she said: “Your hair looks so straight.” I said: “It’s straighter, because I just came from the salon last Saturday.” Then she said: “Is that really all your hair?” I said: “Yes, and I just had a major trim--about 4 inches.” She stared at me as if I was lying. So she stood up and stepped behind me. I took down my bun, showed her my trim, and she was shocked! I said: “I like it better because my ends are even, but I didn’t realize my stylist trim that much off . . . because I never look in the mirror when he’s working on my hair. I didn’t realize my hair was falling short from the comb until a few days later." She looked puzzled. Then I said: “I extended my comb out, but the hair was falling short, because it was shorter. I normally don’t look in the mirror when I comb my hair.” Her eyes bucked. Then she said: “It’s so long!” I said: “No it’s not, it used to be down here (mid back & waist length), now it’s at the tip of my bra clasp. See it’s not a weave. The right side was about five inches longer than the left side." Then I proceed to pull my hair in opposite directions to show her that there aren’t any tracks.” She said: “My hair has never been longer than neck length, but I cover it with a wig.”
Now listen to this: I was oiling my hair in the rest room two days ago--Monday (parted it into four sections), and she walks in and says hello. Then before she goes into the stall, she comes back in front of the mirror and laughs hysterically as if she's a small child having a ball at Disneyland or Magic Mountain : “I can’t believe your hair is this long!” Then she actually yanks it, and then she does a serious, aggressive weave check with both of her hands as if she's turning pages in a book. Maybe she’s looking for “glued-on hair,” since she can’t find tracks. All the time she is still laughing hysterically. I remain calm by saying: “I told you this is not a weave. From time to time, strangers will ask if I’m wearing a weave, but I tell them the truth. This is my natural hair.”
Then she goes on to say: “My hair has never been beyond my neck! It’s very rare to see African American women with hair that length, unless it’s a weave. That has to be genetics.” I said: “There are women with long hair.” Then I catch myself, because I realize now that I can’t tell her any information about my regimen or the hair care boards, because she’s flaky.
She asked me to have lunch with her, (and it’s on her) a total of three times back in December and January. Each time I went to her office, she was no where to be found. No explanations or apologies either.
Would you believe til this day, she’s still asking me to have lunch with her? I give her some lame excuse every time now. Then she says: “I forgot or I had an errand to run, etc.” I told her: “Order the food any day, then let me know when it’s here. I’m too busy to go out for lunch now.” She said: “I’ll get the menu.” I say to myself: “Yeah right!”
Well, I know what a weave check feels like now, so I sympathize with you ladies. Now you see why I refuse to share my hair care regimen with women like this. If they ask for products, I’ll give them the crappy stuff that I no longer use on my hair. If they want healthy hair, let them figure it out for themselves. Sorry for the long rant, but it's slow at the office . . . and I have to try to look busy.
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