I never thought it would happen..

[RossBoss]

Update: DH STILL hasn't got a job yet.. he had to sell his motorcycle, jewerly and truck because he could not afford to pay the bills. I am looking for a job while I have my two side businesses and I am just focusing on myself. The next thing is dh will have to file for bankruptsy because without a job his military pay is not enough to cover the bills. Part of me thinks that he is intentionally not looking for employment because he knows I want to divorce him. I am to the point like whatever.. today I will call a bankruptsy attorney for HIM so they wont put a lean on my house. (my name is on the deed but not the mortgage thank God!)

From 200k per year to bankruptcy? Were you not keeping track of the bank account to see money going in and out? I could not continue to have him under my roof after knowing he blew through OUR money like that. Was there not a way within those 5 years to check on the inflow/outflow of cash in the household? And I'm assuming the side chick was over in Afghanistan with him? Wow, just freaking wow.

 

[ThickHair]

Update: DH STILL hasn't got a job yet.. he had to sell his motorcycle, jewerly and truck because he could not afford to pay the bills. I am looking for a job while I have my two side businesses and I am just focusing on myself. The next thing is dh will have to file for bankruptsy because without a job his military pay is not enough to cover the bills. Part of me thinks that he is intentionally not looking for employment because he knows I want to divorce him. I am to the point like whatever.. today I will call a bankruptsy attorney for HIM so they wont put a lean on my house. (my name is on the deed but not the mortgage thank God!)

I didn't know that you two were still under the same roof or am I just assuming from your post you are?? After all he assaulted you.

 

[Misshairdiva]

From 200k per year to bankruptcy? Were you not keeping track of the bank account to see money going in and out? I could not continue to have him under my roof after knowing he blew through OUR money like that. Was there not a way within those 5 years to check on the inflow/outflow of cash in the household? And I'm assuming the side chick was over in Afghanistan with him? Wow, just freaking wow.

No.. I did not have access to any of his bank accounts and yes I did ask repeatedly over a five year span.

 

[RossBoss]

No.. I did not have access to any of his bank accounts and yes I did ask repeatedly over a five year span.

I see. Well, this is a lesson learned, at least you know that if you remarry, that you must DEMAND access to the bank accounts and don't take no for an answer. I could not imagine not having access to my husband's bank accounts, for 5 years no less, I wish a DH would try to tell me no, it would be WWIII up in that joint. I would have access from the first day of the marriage, no ifs, ands or buts about it.

 

[butterfly_wings]

You need to get out now, trust me he will do it again, don't worry about him finding a job get the paperwork started now, if he becomes bankrupt that's a bonus, what goes around come around. Good luck x

 

[starfish]

Wow, I'm so so sorry this happened! Please talk to an attorney ASAP. In some states, if your name was added by deed after the mortgage was executed then your interest in the property is subject to the mortgage.

Please talk to an attorney so you can protect YOU and YOUR assets, not what DH is doing, not doing or going to do. (file or not file for bankruptcy) He has proven that you are not his priority, so don't make him or his actions yours.

Also, something in my guts tells me that he is lying--that the money is not gone. Please don't underestimate and overlook that he is an abuser. ANY ABUSIVE INCIDENT, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE FATAL.

Please leave.

I don't know what made me go into this thread but I am so shocked and saddened by this.

<<<<HUGS>>>>

 

[*CherryPie*]

That's because he was hiding that money. That's probably why he hadn't found a job yet. He don't need one cause he has all of that hidden money.

No.. I did not have access to any of his bank accounts and yes I did ask repeatedly over a five year span.

 

[*CherryPie*]

When a man chokes you, you don't keep him in your house until he gets a job! What's wrong with you girl? That man is dangerous! I wouldn't be able to sleep there at night.

 

[Guitarhero]

Where do I start? 4 years ago I had my big beautiful wedding. My dh was a dream come true. That was until this April when I found out that he had a side chick that he had been pumping on a steady while working overseas for the last FIVE years!!! In addition to that, he had made.. (drum roll plez..) one million dollars and came home broke. How do you make a million in five years and come home for good broke is beyond me. As if that wasn't enough when I told him in a fit of anger that I should cheat on him like he did me he began to CHOKE me so hard that my ears, throat and neck hurt for DAYS on end. That was the last straw for me. Now, he is crying the blues every day because I told him when he gets a job I want a divorce. I would have never in a million years four years ago thought my life would come to this. I am 38 and he is 55. I feel like I am too young for this old mans foolishness. I have started into a business to start to become selfseffient (ok yeah I know its spelled wrong). I hate the fact that this was a man who was the head guy in the military and everyone "thought" he was the perfect model husband/citizen.
OK.. that's all for now.. advice?

Somehow, I missed this post. He choked you? OMG! You should have called the authorities. Please don't allow him to get away with that again. I will cut him myself if need be. Guess what, divorce him before he gets a job. Get it now. I knew you were having problems from your previous posts but this takes the cake. I speak from experience with being choked, hit, spat at, called *****, ho, n*gger, lesbian...you name it. Anything but a child of G-d. You do not EVER have to put up with that. OMG!!! It never gets better with them, it gets worse. Divorces don't have to cost a lot of money. You can go through legal aid with a private lawyer who donates some hours to cases such as yours (I don't know your fin. situation to say, so please don't take offense). SMH...this man is AWFUL! Also, make sure you name is not on any of his debts..none of them. File for separation before he files for bankruptcy.