Would you divorce over this...

[FlyyBohemian]

I wouldn't divorce but we don't know the whole story.

 

[bellashair]

This is why the divorce rate is so high now.. And people are always ranting and raving about about their grandparents 60 year marriages. Divorce an otherwise good man over some flirting? Lol smh..

 

[DarkJoy]

Flirting is the shallow surface issue. Deeper issue for me is continued disrespect, the lack of trust due to secrecy. If he is upfront with it without lying over and over for God knows how long

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

 

[DarkJoy]

Dbl post

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*

 

[ladysaraii]

Wow! I swore ya'll would be all over this...I feel like I don't know ya'll anymore lol

@natural one
But how would you KNOW if it's not creating an opportunity for more? Does it depend on WHAT he said? I don't remember what she said she read and not sure I want to ask.

I've never been married but this would make me wonder if his eyes are wondering elsewhere. Although that's all she SAW, what if there's more and worse!?

Wow, I kinda disagree with ya'll on this one. I guess for me, I have strict boundaries. If I flirt, you will NEVER hear me SAY, TALK TO or ASK a man anything inappropriate even if it's just for fun.

@DarkJoy
'Telling him what time it is' is just talk isn't it? Why wouldn't he do it again? All he'll do is be better at HIDING it.

In the end maybe divorce would be extreme but I think it would ruin my trust at the very least.

@hopeful
What do you think?

I'm with you on this one.

@Lilmama1011

I am not making an excuse and you are free to disagree. I am a loyal woman and will not lie and say I don't feel good if a man finds me attractive. Does his opinion matter over my SO? Nope. So, I don't understand why that has to result into exchanging information or taking it where it does not need to go. I will not step over any lines or allow said-man to either. Perhaps, I did not word it well but we can agree to disagree.

IMO there is a difference btwn feeling good is someone finds you attractive (I mean who doesn't) and actively testing waters/engaging or seeking out flirtations to prove you still have it.

While I don't think an email is something to divorce over, it would make me more vigilant. I actually think that it's a dangerous slippery slope. People can be awfully bold over the net and it doesn't take longs for things to build up and next think you know you're knocking on adultery's door.

 

[LiftedUp]

I'm not married but I want to say that my two reasons for divorce (God forbid) will be infidelity or abuse (physically, emotionally or otherwise).

In a case like this, I would investigate further then confront him and let him know that this is not something I would stand for.

 

[JaneBond007]

Not leave, but would definitely confront and get to the bottom of it so he clearly comprehends that his comfort level of money and home will decrease significantly to provide for you and the children at another address in which he will definitely have much decreased visitation and increased financial support while watching mother and former wife enjoy a new **** to the point that everyone at his employ comprehends 100% of the situation in my favor.

Do not let this slide, ever. Also, his first step to rectify is to confront SHE after I've confronted SHE and made it absolutely clear that I am a fighter for my family and will F her up badly. Second step is that he go to our family doctor and we both explain his infidelities/attempted infidelities and gets a STD check and blood work right there. If he cannot handle it, option no. one was made very clear.

OP Fine 4s , I'm relieved this is not your situation. I am all over this one and hope that lurkers never let any such thing slide. If they do, they are TOO desperate for a man to have the RIGHT man with the right behavior. One should confront this because it is very serious.

 

[PureSilver]

deleted, i'm not married. Never been, but it certainly wouldn't be a simple conversation after 10 years of marriage. With all i have invested i would give him the option to choose knowing that i am already secure in myself. You can flirt and cheat all you want but not at my expense and my spider senses will definitely give me the 411, you ain't more slick than me bro.

 

[Ganjababy]

You said he makes half a mill a year. There's a triple dip recession going on out here. Aint nobody going anywhere

 

[Stormy]

No, based on the info. given I wouldn't divorce him either. And yes, we would have a discussion.

 

[chronicity]

I hope when the ladies on here say they will stay because he makes a certain amount is just kidding

I don't think they are.

If the dude made $50k a year, is he entitled to fewer instances of "stupid-ish" than the guy who brings home ten times as much? What does income even have to do with the terms of this scenario?

 

[naija24]

lol i'm personally disgusted that income was even mentioned.

if i had an inclination that my husband was cheating, I would absolutely have a problem with it. and it would warrant a very serious conversation. even if i was unemployed and he made half a million a year, if he cheated on me, it would be very difficult for me NOT to leave. have some self-worth.

also, regardless if you're working or not, women should always have some sort of financial security separate from their husbands. given all the economic indicators, societal history and experiences of women out there, it's just plain sense. that way, if she was cheated on, she doesn't have to feel trapped in an unhappy and untrustworthy marriage for the sake of income.

 

[crazytrish75]

One of my coworkers was in this same exact situation.....except her DH was texting/flirting with another man . "Nothing happened" and "It felt nice to get attention, you don't give me enough" was his response when she confronted him.

What say you? Would anyone divorce their DH then? (She did, btw).

 

[brittle_hair]

^^^^^^^^^ that's f***ed up!!

 

[sugarbaybie]

Certainly no.

Cheating, certainly yes.

A baby? Divorce on the accelerated path.

 

[Mai Tai]

As a woman with extremely high self esteem, and a great appreciation for my own value, divorce will not be my first thought.

Now I would be clearly upset, and me and DH would have to go through some serious sessions to figure out how he remotely thought that flirting with another woman was appropriate but divorce? Nah.

The best thing for this woman to do is to paint a very grim picture of what her husbands life would be like without her. Despite him being the breadwinner, she is still the prize and it's in his best interest not to forget that. She should also SILENTLY monitor the situation, stack her coins, and remain observant.

 

[fula97]

One of my coworkers was in this same exact situation.....except her DH was texting/flirting with another man . "Nothing happened" and "It felt nice to get attention, you don't give me enough" was his response when she confronted him.

What say you? Would anyone divorce their DH then? (She did, btw).[/QUOTE]

YUP

 

[MizAvalon]

I see why the divorce rate is so high. I seriously believe that most people are just too weak to be married.

To answer the question, no, I wouldn't divorce over this.

 

[shannyjones]

no, but i would definitely have a good talk with him about it and see how he reacts.