I love this site! I got to educate my ignorant Asian Friend about black hair!

[ThePerfectScore]

So I was talking to my friend about how I am youtube famous and that I put the link in my siggy on this site...




My AZN Friend: is it a black people only?
TPS: the message board
TPS: yes..
TPS: its main purpose it black hair care
TPS: but I never spend time in that party
TPS: I spend time in the make up
TPS: entertainment
TPS: and off topics part
9:40 PM
TPS: but its like the specktra.net of black hair
TPS: it has soo many different sections
My AZN Friend: black hair is freakin complicated
TPS: naaw
TPS: its not
My AZN Friend: I wonder how Angelina does it for her black baby
TPS: ignorant white ppl and asians make it complicated
TPS: Angie was the topic of a thread
TPS: b/c poor Z's hair
TPS: is dred locking up, all matted and not for style
My AZN Friend: bb needs a weave
TPS: who?
TPS: Z?
My AZN Friend: yes
TPS: NO
TPS: ugh
TPS: ignorant
My AZN Friend: that's my ignorant asian side hahaha
TPS: im glad u aint having no babies
My AZN Friend: I assume all black ppl with nice hair has a weave
TPS: let alone black ones
TPS: no boo boo
TPS: that is false
TPS: and there are tons of blacks
My AZN Friend: No...as long as they not black, I should be straight
TPS: with hair down their backs
TPS: I would show u pictures of these women on this message board
9:45 PM
TPS: they have beautiful hair
TPS: both relaxed (chemically striaghtened) and natural hair
TPS: just amazing LONG hair
My AZN Friend: show me
My AZN Friend: cause Wendy Williams and Tyra are my only exposure to black women with long hair
TPS: haha
TPS: okay
TPS: h/o
TPS: let me log on

So I proceeded to show her images of you guy's beautiful hair!



TPS: she has long hair
TPS: I used to have all these bookmarked
TPS: UGH i gotta find them
My AZN Friend: chemically relaxed
TPS: soo
TPS: u want a natural
My AZN Friend: omg...her hair is slanted
TPS: with long hair
My AZN Friend: oh I'm asking
My AZN Friend: is it chemically relaxed
TPS: asking what
TPS: it was
TPS: but she
TPS: transitioned
TPS: and now its
TPS: all natural
TPS: but some pics in there her hair is relaxed
TPS: some is striaghted
TPS: there are a lot of photo albums on the site
TPS: but u have to be a member
TPS: ugh
My AZN Friend: you need to grow your hair out
TPS: Im trying!!
My AZN Friend: see..ypou don't see asian girls dedicate so much time to our hair
My AZN Friend: it's just there
TPS: okay
TPS: and your point?
TPS: and u dont see Asian girls with an afro
My AZN Friend: I'm just saying you guys got complex hair hah
My AZN Friend: I can never be a black woman
TPS: ok
My AZN Friend: too much maitanence. respect ya
My AZN Friend: for it though
TPS: not really
TPS: Naw
TPS: not really
TPS: We just have such diverse hair
TPS: it doesnt just hang there
TPS: it has personality



Thank you guys for this site.. living proof that blacks can have long beautiful healthy hair without a weave... UGH I just wish I could be the example ... But I did DC last night... YAY and got compliments on my pig tails today! haha

 

[NerdSauce]

I dont have much to say about your conversation with your friend (other than that I would be really really annoyed, and I commend you) but i LOVE your siggy pic. I heart that movie sooo much.

 

[locabouthair]

"I assume all black people with nice hair has a weave"erplexed

Well some black people think like this also...Ignorance at it's best.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

I dont have much to say about your conversation with your friend (other than that I would be really really annoyed, and I commend you) but i LOVE your siggy pic. I heart that movie sooo much.

someone posted the gif in the Grace Jones thread so I thought it looked perfect next to the Who gon check me boo smiley someone posted int he RHOA thread.... I jack form thread posts haha

 

[Neith]

All I have to say is that could NOT EVER be one of my friends. erplexed



OT: I love that movie too!

 

[varaneka]

I wouldn't even befriend someone like that. their convo would make my skin crawl. props to you for not cursing her out lol

and she's lying about that "Asians don't dedicate time to their hair"

PLEASE

Asians and all kinds of other women dedicate time to BEAUTY PERIOD, whether it be thermal reconditioning (who does that besides Asians?), nail care, skin whitening, etc.

"it's just there"

YEAH RIGHT. that's an insult to my intelligence lol

she needs to save that bs for someone else

 

[Odd One]

TPS: We just have such diverse hair
TPS: it doesnt just hang there
TPS: it has personality

Favorite quote of this conversation

 

[I AM...]

Perfect score I'm so sorry but Wesley looks a "Too wong Foo" mess in your siggy. Who goin check me boo?

 

[msa]

I see the "too much maintenance but I respect you" (for being natural) comment on this site all the time.

 

[Barbara]

You handled it very tactfully.

There is a popular myth that African American hair will not grow. That's why it’s prevalent to see beauty supply stores in African American neighborhoods saturated with floor to ceiling, wall to wall hair weaves, extensions, wigs, etc., especially in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. The majority of their customers are African Americans, so what else are people suppose to believe?

The Asians that I work with and the ones in my beauty salon know that some of us don't need to add hair to our head to make it long. They are astonished to see our hair gradually grow to bra clasp or waist length. They know we aren't mixed with anything.

Years ago my stylist said: "The majority of African American women think they know how to take care of their hair, but they don't. That's because they were never taught properly."

Some are just hair obsessed, and they feel that growing hair out to significant lengths is a mystery. Most African American women don't have long hair, and they find it hard to believe if a woman has long hair, then she has to be mixed with something.

 

[Encore]

LOL this title had me like "wow"

 

[ThePerfectScore]

We have a very special relationship... she is one of my best friends on earth. Our relationship is very blunt, uncensored, and we agree not to get mad at each other. We refer to each other as "B!tch" and so on, but we are extremely frank. So I don't take offense by what she says, because I've known her since High School.. I know the type of girl she is. She is very special, needless to say. I love her to death though, She's going to be a brides maid at my wedding. So she honestly didn't mean any offense with that. She is truely ignorant, so I'm glad I'm friend with her so she doesn't go out into the world where women will beat her arse. haha But seriously you guys were a BIG help.. I can't even remember whos pics I showed her, but I showed her my hair idols! From Natural to Relaxed and everything in between... so LHCF isn't a black only site like I said in the convo b/c it is educating everyone.


OOh and I died when she said Wendy Williams and Tyra Banks was her exposure to long haired blacks hahahahha I'm sorry but I laughed at loud.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

well.... you know she isn't lyin about some black folks havin complexes with the hair.... other races learn these stupid stereotypes about weaves and maintenance through what we say too.​

 

[Soliel185]

Am I weird that I don't think she said anything that bad?

I'm on a site learning how to take care of my hair b/c I didn't know how. If I didn't know any better - I'd think that made it "complicated"

She never insulted black women, insulted afro hair, or even seemed weirded out that you'd be on a giant message board all about hair...which I personally think most people probably would be....and pre LHCF most of us assumed that a woman with nice hair was wearing a weave. That doesn't make it right necessarily - but she wasn't being malicious and I wouldn't write her off as a human being because of it. *shrug*

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I had an asian roommate who said my hair was unusually beautiful. And when I asked why she said, "Because it's really shiny, long, and usually black hair is nasty, crunchy, dry, and breaking all over the place". At first she thought it was a weave, but then she saw me styling it in the bathroom and realized it was mine so she thought she should compliment me. And she meant it from the heart. I was angry for a second until I realized that's what she and probably some others think because of what they're seeing. She was looking at me innocently and I knew she didn't mean to be rude. She just thought she could share her thoughts with me. In this case, I believe my roommate who was really did not mean harm or was being prejudice. There are lots of black women with short (and I'm not talking a short cute cut) dry looking hair that's choppy looking (from breakage). So I decided to count to ten and call it a day. (That was last summer.) She proceeded to ask questions about my hair, and one day she started reciting to a black friend who came over what I did to my hair. She was like "You really should use a seamless wide tooth comb so your hair doesn't break." and then she turned and asked me, "You mind if I show her yours?" I was cracking up because she really was interested in my hair. Also her friend didn't ask and personally should've been pissed, but I just said my hi and goodbyes and went on to class as I could hear her explaining detangling with conditioner as I closed the door.

So I don't take things like that personally unless someone is just being mean or rude.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Am I weird that I don't think she said anything that bad?

I'm on a site learning how to take care of my hair b/c I didn't know how. If I didn't know any better - I'd think that made it "complicated"

She never insulted black women, insulted afro hair, or even seemed weirded out that you'd be on a giant message board all about hair...which I personally think most people probably would be....and pre LHCF most of us assumed that a woman with nice hair was wearing a weave. That doesn't make it right necessarily - but she wasn't being malicious and I wouldn't write her off as a human being because of it. *shrug*

I don't think what she said was bad either.

 

[Neith]

Am I weird that I don't think she said anything that bad?

I'm on a site learning how to take care of my hair b/c I didn't know how. If I didn't know any better - I'd think that made it "complicated"

She never insulted black women, insulted afro hair, or even seemed weirded out that you'd be on a giant message board all about hair...which I personally think most people probably would be....and pre LHCF most of us assumed that a woman with nice hair was wearing a weave. That doesn't make it right necessarily - but she wasn't being malicious and I wouldn't write her off as a human being because of it. *shrug*

I'm not making it out as if she is an all around bad person.

I just personally can't see myself being friends with someone that was acting so.... "clueless" I dunno. Maybe that's too strong of a word. Can't think of anything better than that at the moment though.

Acting like Asian women just don't do anything and are naturally beautiful and not preoccupied with hair/beauty... that's the part that I would have been like "What??"

 

[Denise11]

I wouldn't have wasted my time with her. She wasn't trying to understand black hair, she was just being sarcastic, like Asian's hair is better than ours. Why are you even friends with her?

I wouldn't try to teach her anything. Why are we always trying to school people about us? And they usually are the ones that don't really want to know, and it shows.

 

[varaneka]

I'm not making it out as if she is an all around bad person.

I just personally can't see myself being friends with someone that was acting so.... "clueless" I dunno. Maybe that's too strong of a word. Can't think of anything better than that at the moment though.

Acting like Asian women just don't do anything and are naturally beautiful and not preoccupied with hair/beauty... that's the part that I would have been like "What??"

exactly. I don't think she's being rude on purpose. I can be very impatient with people who don't know some basic things and replace facts with stereotypes

I just don't like dealing with people like that, so I'm glad that someone can. lol Saves me a headache.

 

[Neith]

I had an asian roommate who said my hair was unusually beautiful. And when I asked why she said, "Because it's really shiny, long, and usually black hair is nasty, crunchy, dry, and breaking all over the place". At first she thought it was a weave, but then she saw me styling it in the bathroom and realized it was mine so she thought she should compliment me. And she meant it from the heart. I was angry for a second until I realized that's what she and probably some others think because of what they're seeing. She was looking at me innocently and I knew she didn't mean to be rude. She just thought she could share her thoughts with me. In this case, I believe my roommate who was really did not mean harm or was being prejudice. There are lots of black women with short (and I'm not talking a short cute cut) dry looking hair that's choppy looking (from breakage). So I decided to count to ten and call it a day. (That was last summer.) She proceeded to ask questions about my hair, and one day she started reciting to a black friend who came over what I did to my hair. She was like "You really should use a seamless wide tooth comb so your hair doesn't break." and then she turned and asked me, "You mind if I show her yours?" I was cracking up because she really was interested in my hair. Also her friend didn't ask and personally should've been pissed, but I just said my hi and goodbyes and went on to class as I could hear her explaining detangling with conditioner as I closed the door.

So I don't take things like that personally unless someone is just being mean or rude.

**JUST FOR EXAMPLE**

What if I said... "You know what? Your eyes are really nicely shaped. Most Asian people look like they have paper slit eyes. Don't ever get Asian eyelid surgery!"

It's a backhanded compliment.

If you want to say my hair is pretty, just say it's pretty. Don't say things (in a belittling way) about black people as a whole. Why do I have nice hair "for a black girl" Why can't I just have nice hair period?


At the same time, I'm not militant or anything like that. but that exchange would have not been cool with me.

 

[varaneka]

**JUST FOR EXAMPLE**

What if I said... "You know what? Your eyes are really nicely shaped. Most Asian people look like they have paper slit eyes. Don't ever get Asian eyelid surgery!"

It's a backhanded compliment.

If you want to say my hair is pretty, just say it's pretty. Don't say things (in a belittling way) about black people as a whole. Why do I have nice hair "for a black girl" Why can't I just have nice hair period?


At the same time, I'm not militant or anything like that. but that exchange would have not been cool with me.

preach! lol

backhanded compliment is right!

 

[Odd One]

hmm that exchange might seem offensive to some but by her reply it seems like she knows who shes dealing with, where this was going and she is her friend...

soooo yeah reading this was kinda weird... but she knew wha t she was doing!

 

[SweetSpirit86]

I wouldn't even befriend someone like that. their convo would make my skin crawl. props to you for not cursing her out lol

and she's lying about that "Asians don't dedicate time to their hair"

PLEASE

Asians and all kinds of other women dedicate time to BEAUTY PERIOD, whether it be thermal reconditioning (who does that besides Asians?), nail care, skin whitening, etc.

"it's just there"

YEAH RIGHT. that's an insult to my intelligence lol

she needs to save that bs for someone else

THANK YOU for saying that. My best friend is Vietnamese and that girl WORKS for her hair.

I had an asian roommate who said my hair was unusually beautiful. And when I asked why she said, "Because it's really shiny, long, and usually black hair is nasty, crunchy, dry, and breaking all over the place". At first she thought it was a weave, but then she saw me styling it in the bathroom and realized it was mine so she thought she should compliment me. And she meant it from the heart. I was angry for a second until I realized that's what she and probably some others think because of what they're seeing. She was looking at me innocently and I knew she didn't mean to be rude. She just thought she could share her thoughts with me. In this case, I believe my roommate who was really did not mean harm or was being prejudice. There are lots of black women with short (and I'm not talking a short cute cut) dry looking hair that's choppy looking (from breakage). So I decided to count to ten and call it a day. (That was last summer.) She proceeded to ask questions about my hair, and one day she started reciting to a black friend who came over what I did to my hair. She was like "You really should use a seamless wide tooth comb so your hair doesn't break." and then she turned and asked me, "You mind if I show her yours?" I was cracking up because she really was interested in my hair. Also her friend didn't ask and personally should've been pissed, but I just said my hi and goodbyes and went on to class as I could hear her explaining detangling with conditioner as I closed the door.

So I don't take things like that personally unless someone is just being mean or rude.

And I thought this was cute. Thank you for sharing. It seems to me that a few women on this board just like being angry.((Not directed at you, OP!!)) I don't think the situation was that serious, and it's not like black women don't say things based off of what they see, either. Sometimes what you think is a compliment or is harmless really isn't. Tact doesn't come naturally to most people. You can either get mad about it, or understand the person doesn't mean any harm (if this is the case) and correct them. I've got too much going on to sit around mad at every person who says something to me. Especially when they were trying to be nice.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

Your friend seems more like a frienemy, but you handled her very well.

 

[Neith]

THANK YOU for saying that. My best friend is Vietnamese and that girl WORKS for her hair.



And I thought this was cute. Thank you for sharing. It seems to me that a few women on this board just like being angry.((Not directed at you, OP!!)) I don't think the situation was that serious, and it's not like black women don't say things based off of what they see, either. Sometimes what you think is a compliment or is harmless really isn't. Tact doesn't come naturally to most people. You can either get mad about it, or understand the person doesn't mean any harm (if this is the case) and correct them. I've got too much going on to sit around mad at every person who says something to me. Especially when they were trying to be nice.

Probably like me.

On a serious note: I just don't deal with people like this. I don't have "frienemies". It's just not my thing. I don't walk around beating people down , I just avoid people that I don't get the right vibes from.

I meant it when I said this person would not be my friend.

Not that the OP shouldn't be friends with her or whatever... but for me personally? Wouldn't work out.

 

[beans4reezy]

Ok, I understand that some people may have grown up sheltered and not exposed to other ethnicities, but to have ONLY Tyra and Wendy Williams as examples of Black hair is beyond ludicrous to me. That's like saying that Lucy Liu typifies every Asian woman, when clearly, she does not.

I really thank God that my experiences with other races come from BEYOND a television set. Your friend should be highy annoyed at her complete and utter state of ignorance.

 

[**SaSSy**]

I know exatly what she is talking about, I don't think she came right out and said bad things about black people's hair I just think the way she expressed herself seemed so dumb that maybe she should've known better. I always had asian friends, and I know they don't mean any harm, but some people who's not use to the'r comments might feel insulted. I was friends with a girl for months, and I didn't know until maybe the middle of our friendship she thought I was Hispanic due to my hair.

 

[princessnad]

I can't be friends who express themselves this way. She just sounds unintelligent...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Man, I know SO many black women who will say in front of a bunch of 'others' that our hair is SO hard to deal with and how they wish they had their hair, etc..etc.. Where else would they get that from?

Every type of woman has a beauty 'obsession' with something. There are a BUNCH of Youtube tutorials by Asian women on how to use 'crease' tape and makeup to look like they have eye creases. Black women aren't the only ones who spend time on our hair. Most of the white women I know wake up early every morning to wash, blowdry, AND flatiron their hair. Miss me with that.

 

[tocktick]

"I assume all black people with nice hair has a weave"erplexed

Well some black people think like this also...Ignorance at it's best.

Exactly. It is ignorance. However, I think there is a difference between just plain ignorance and wilful ignorance. I too was ignorant before finding the hair boards. I thought that most black women with nice hair longer than SL, most likely had a weave. In many instances, it was the truth. If a woman had hair longer than that and it was obvious it wasn't a weave, I presumed she was a rare exception. When I made between SL & APL as a relaxed head, the black girls in my class gave me a ton of compliments even though my hair didn't look that great in hindsight. I'm sure a great many women here were also ignorant in the same way I was.

TPS's friend is ignorant and some of her comments were quite extra. However, I can't pretend like I'm super offended or shocked by her observations. Imo, the media makes a big deal out of BW wearing weaves and we don't hear a peep about the BW with their own long hair. On this very board, there is a sense through many of the threads that long and/or healthy hair isn't common and that they are seen as an exception and not the rule.