I love this site! I got to educate my ignorant Asian Friend about black hair!

[chebaby]

not knowing how to care for something does not make it complicated. it simply means that YOU NEED TO LEARN.

our hair is not complicated at all. we just were not taught how to care for it. if we had hair like white or asian people, it still would not be a just wake up and go sort of thing. you still have to worry about split ends, dry or oily hair. just because they can grow long hair fast does not mean their hair is well taken care of.

she is very ignorant. and there isnt anything wrong with it except the fact that too many people feel that way. when my hair was relaxed it was healthy and taken care of. even before i found this site my only problem was not knowing that i didnt have to trim so often and not knowing the defference between oil and moisturizer. now that my hair is natural i am having no problems. my hair is healthy and is growing fine. we dont need weaves regardless of who thinks we look better with long flowing blonde and gold locks to our butts. that will never be me. and if wendy williams and tyra are her only source of black women and hair then maybe she is walking around with her eyes and her mind closed.


she could very well be my friend but she wouldnt stay ignorant for long.

 

[jasmineleann]

You have a lot of patience with her

 

[JustKiya]

*shrug*

She's just as ignorant as some of the black women on this board were before they got here - and they had mothers, grandmothes, sisters, cousins and auntie's hair to witness, plus their own hair to get 'exposure' and 'experience' with black hair.

There is a thread, on this board, active right now, started by a black woman, asking why our hair has to be so difficult - and in that thread, there are comments about how white/asian/hispanic women don't have to do 'anything' to their hair and it'll still grow, or how they can do all kinds of damaging things to their hair, and it'll still grow.

So, why all the screwface over this Asian chick (who has even less exposure to our hair) saying the same. damn. things - I don't get. and you best believe, she got that from other black people - **** didn't just fall into her head out of the ether.

And all the eyerolling over how she was playing dumb - when women who have the hair she is talking about growing out of the their heads - can be just as equally 'dumb' about our hair and the lengths it can reach and the 'difficulty' of managing the texture - makes no sense to me, either.

And, she was having a conversation with a close friend - so she was well within her grounds to be a 'bit extra' (ain't we all with our nearest & dearest) - esp. since she knew her friend would check her if she crossed the line.

Meh. Some folks just like having their pannies twisted all up their arses.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

I wouldn't have wasted my time with her. She wasn't trying to understand black hair, she was just being sarcastic, like Asian's hair is better than ours. Why are you even friends with her?

I wouldn't try to teach her anything. Why are we always trying to school people about us? And they usually are the ones that don't really want to know, and it shows.

And this is why people call black women angry. Why would I not try to teach her about black hair? I mean if no one teaches her about black hair then the stigma placed on our hair will remain there forever. I am friends with her b/c we mesh very well. Our personalities are quite similar and she keep me laughing... and actually is the voice of reason and truth for me in a lot of cases. And I play that role for her. We balance each other out.

Your friend seems more like a frienemy, but you handled her very well.

She's not a frienemy... trust me, I'd trust her with my life. She never tries to be malicious... she just often gets mistaken for a B!tch, we both do b/c we are not politically correct and say exactly what comes to our minds.

I can't be friends who express themselves this way. She just sounds unintelligent...

Naw, seriously she is a smart girl. In med school... doing well. She is smart, this conversation is not the barometer to measure her buy. She wouldn't say this in public... she has more tact than that, most of the time haha.

*shrug*

She's just as ignorant as some of the black women on this board were before they got here - and they had mothers, grandmothes, sisters, cousins and auntie's hair to witness, plus their own hair to get 'exposure' and 'experience' with black hair.

There is a thread, on this board, active right now, started by a black woman, asking why our hair has to be so difficult - and in that thread, there are comments about how white/asian/hispanic women don't have to do 'anything' to their hair and it'll still grow, or how they can do all kinds of damaging things to their hair, and it'll still grow.

So, why all the screwface over this Asian chick (who has even less exposure to our hair) saying the same. damn. things - I don't get. and you best believe, she got that from other black people - **** didn't just fall into her head out of the ether.

And all the eyerolling over how she was playing dumb - when women who have the hair she is talking about growing out of the their heads - can be just as equally 'dumb' about our hair and the lengths it can reach and the 'difficulty' of managing the texture - makes no sense to me, either.

And, she was having a conversation with a close friend - so she was well within her grounds to be a 'bit extra' (ain't we all with our nearest & dearest) - esp. since she knew her friend would check her if she crossed the line.

Meh. Some folks just like having their pannies twisted all up their arses.

Exactly... she didn;t know this conversation would be republished on this site. I didn't know either, this is why I changed her s/n and what not... but when we with each other we act a damn fool. And she honestly was interested in knowing about black hair. I showed her pics of some of y'all and she was in awe. Seriously... she was just being honest. I mean hell Kim from RHOA doesn't even know about her own race saying that only black women wear weaves and white women are just catching on to this trend ... so I was not and am not mad at my friend.... I still love her to death!

 

[CurlyMoo]

This may be off topic but people of all races including Black folks tend to be very ignorant of proper haircare for our hair. I was detangling, moisturizing, sealing with castor oil and twisting my hair when my sister in-law (black) said, "Damn you really do a lot to your hair. You started at the beginning of the movie and the credits are rolling and you're still at it." Keep in mind I sectioned my hair in 1/2-1" sections when I moisturized and detangled that day.

After asking her a few questions about her hair I came to realize that she almost always slaps a wig on whenever she goes out in public. She never moisturizes her hair which accounted for the crispy, dry state it was in. She never protects her ends which accounted for it being only 2 inches long. Along with the fact that she allows her stylist to trim her hair every 6 weeks. Her hair actually had undergone a trauma with her stylist overprocessing her texturizer and coloring it.

Just because something takes time does not mean it's too much to do. What is "a lot" or "too much"? When they themselves don't take the time to do anything to care for their hair? Another problem is that curly hair is constantly being compared to straight hair. Why do people with stick straight hair (natural or chemical) think that they are an authority on curly/coily hair? Who are they to determine what is "too much" with regards to curly hair? If they haven't experienced it?

I personally think it's worthwhile to spend time gently detangling and moisturizing my hair. I actually find it to be the best part of my day, I call it hair therapy. As someone whom has documented extrodinary growth; going from shoulder to bra strap in 6 months. They can't tell me nothing!

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Girl, where do you find these people?! Lol... yeah, I don't see my hair as complicated. Wash n go is not that hard.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Girl, where do you find these people?! Lol... yeah, I don't see my hair as complicated. Wash n go is not that hard.

Best Friend from High School. So she has been my friend since 10th grade.... 10, 11, 12, F, S, J... so 6 years strong.

 

[Ronnieaj]

I'm not mad at her. She just doesn't know. Heck, when I was in college I didn't know that women opted not to relax straight--heck, what was the point? I knew natural and relaxed, there was no middle! And I was dating an absolutely gorgeous blond hair blue-eyed sprinter, and went home with him for Spring Break--where the town is 99.8% white. Where a man close to his 80s had never seen a black person before, where a kid asked his mom why I was so dark and she said "because she's been out in the sun too long." So I know some people's exposure to blacks is ridiculously low, and they believe what they see on tv and hear from someone who knew someone who was friends with black people. People at my office (I'm the only black) ask me all the time how I get my hair to do that--whatever that is on that week! Don't let me straighten it, then it's definitely a weave or extensions. They just don't know, so I educate them. I've got my white 60 year old boss now exclaiming to the rooftops how every black woman should be natural, based on her watching me transition. I'm glad you got the opportunity to help educate your friend, and girl don't worry, I've got plenty of friends that are a little "extra" like that on my own!

 

[Bosslady1]

i can't wait for my hair to get to bsl! at 5'9 i know it will look gorgeous!

 

[luckiestdestiny]

**JUST FOR EXAMPLE**

What if I said... "You know what? Your eyes are really nicely shaped. Most Asian people look like they have paper slit eyes. Don't ever get Asian eyelid surgery!"

It's a backhanded compliment.

If you want to say my hair is pretty, just say it's pretty. Don't say things (in a belittling way) about black people as a whole. Why do I have nice hair "for a black girl" Why can't I just have nice hair period?


At the same time, I'm not militant or anything like that. but that exchange would have not been cool with me.

I'm not saying it was the perfect exchange. I was shocked and a little annoyed. But I do try to put myself in other's shoes and I know what kinda person she is. She just speaks whatever is on her mind. I respect that she did not just keep it inside. Most people walk around "thinking" but never saying. I'd rather you say it, get it out there, and I deal with it by tearing you a new one, or ignoring them, or explaining stuff (depending on where their heart is), and moving on.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

*shrug*

She's just as ignorant as some of the black women on this board were before they got here - and they had mothers, grandmothes, sisters, cousins and auntie's hair to witness, plus their own hair to get 'exposure' and 'experience' with black hair.

There is a thread, on this board, active right now, started by a black woman, asking why our hair has to be so difficult - and in that thread, there are comments about how white/asian/hispanic women don't have to do 'anything' to their hair and it'll still grow, or how they can do all kinds of damaging things to their hair, and it'll still grow.

So, why all the screwface over this Asian chick (who has even less exposure to our hair) saying the same. damn. things - I don't get. and you best believe, she got that from other black people - **** didn't just fall into her head out of the ether.

And all the eyerolling over how she was playing dumb - when women who have the hair she is talking about growing out of the their heads - can be just as equally 'dumb' about our hair and the lengths it can reach and the 'difficulty' of managing the texture - makes no sense to me, either.

And, she was having a conversation with a close friend - so she was well within her grounds to be a 'bit extra' (ain't we all with our nearest & dearest) - esp. since she knew her friend would check her if she crossed the line.

Meh. Some folks just like having their pannies twisted all up their arses.

Co-sign. I know a lot of black women calling hair difficult, or bad, or saying all kinds of things about their own hair, or a childs hair when combing it. My sis in law, I had to stop her from saying she sometimes wants to chop her child's hair off because it's so difficult(jokingly or not how would you feel?). Her hair is 2a or 2b and she has a 3c child. I'm sure with all that's said about us from us, and all the misinformation we're getting...others are getting that same info too about us.

I'm not too happy with the bluntness of what was said, but at least it's out there so it can be corrected. And at least the person is willing to listen.

 

[Neith]

*shrug*

She's just as ignorant as some of the black women on this board were before they got here - and they had mothers, grandmothes, sisters, cousins and auntie's hair to witness, plus their own hair to get 'exposure' and 'experience' with black hair.

There is a thread, on this board, active right now, started by a black woman, asking why our hair has to be so difficult - and in that thread, there are comments about how white/asian/hispanic women don't have to do 'anything' to their hair and it'll still grow, or how they can do all kinds of damaging things to their hair, and it'll still grow.

So, why all the screwface over this Asian chick (who has even less exposure to our hair) saying the same. damn. things - I don't get. and you best believe, she got that from other black people - **** didn't just fall into her head out of the ether.

And all the eyerolling over how she was playing dumb - when women who have the hair she is talking about growing out of the their heads - can be just as equally 'dumb' about our hair and the lengths it can reach and the 'difficulty' of managing the texture - makes no sense to me, either.

And, she was having a conversation with a close friend - so she was well within her grounds to be a 'bit extra' (ain't we all with our nearest & dearest) - esp. since she knew her friend would check her if she crossed the line.

Meh. Some folks just like having their pannies twisted all up their arses.

I didn't like the way she made it seem that Asian hair is just naturally perfect. Asians just wake up beautiful and don't have to work at all, right?

If this was a black woman, honestly I wouldn't be too friendly with her either. I don't hang with people I find to be ignorant.

You don't have to know anything about black people or black hair... but I can't spend my time around someone who can't speak with tact. Ask me anything you want, but I do not respond well to backhanded compliments or people that play dumb.

No one said to go drag this girl out in the street and tie her up to a stake or anything like that. I just said... wouldn't see me being friends with her. I don't think anyone's response was too "out there"

Some people have different limits on the behavior they will deal with.

So everybody... take your pannies out your arse and respect other people's opinions.

Both "sides" make valid points. Your choice if someone speaking to you that way is cool or not.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

I didn't like the way she made it seem that Asian hair is just naturally perfect. Asians just wake up beautiful and don't have to work at all, right?

If this was a black woman, honestly I wouldn't be too friendly with her either. I don't hang with people I find to be ignorant.

You don't have to know anything about black people or black hair... but I can't spend my time around someone who can't speak with tact. Ask me anything you want, but I do not respond well to backhanded compliments or people that play dumb.

No one said to go drag this girl out in the street and tie her up to a stake or anything like that. I just said... wouldn't see me being friends with her. I don't think anyone's response was too "out there"

Some people have different limits on the behavior they will deal with.

So everybody... take your pannies out your arse and respect other people's opinions.

Both "sides" make valid points. Your choice if someone speaking to you that way is cool or not.

K haha.... this is why she's my friend not yours.. It's cool. We all have different realtionships with people.... I called her everything under the sun for the way she was treating her boyfriend... she didn't take offense at it, she was like thanks... I never realized I was treating him like that.

 

[keelioness]

BLACK HAIR IS COMPLICATED! Thats why we're on this site. It is beautiful yet complicated.. we have awesome skin..pretty features.. and hardly age..but yes the hair is a learning process. Why do wet come down on the ASIAN friend and WHITE friend all the time? At least they're asking instead of talking behind our backs. I ask my ASIAN, WHITE, INDIAN friends questions about things related to their culture.. so what

 

[princessnad]

What can I say? When it comes to certain topics, I don't have time for the "ignorance" of anyone regardless of race. If their ignorance comes out like that... we don't have to speak. It won't hurt my heart or hers if she never learns. It's not up to me to educate her and I just don't have the patience for it.