why don't THEY understand about growing hair.........

[Missi]

My best friend is mixed, she is italian and black and she has the white hair that is curly when wet and when she straightens it, its long and silky and she never needs a relaxer. I showed her my fotki page and she doesn't understand why we would take pictures of our hair and put it on the internet. I dunno if its just her...but do yall have that one friend(s) who doesn't have trouble growing their long who doesn't understand LHCF or Fotki?

 

[JazzyDez]

Call me selfish but I just wouldn't share this with an Italian/black friend with type 1 or 2 hair (no offense to those hair type members here at all). But LHCF and Fotki is only something that I would share with others with a similar hair type to mine that would have an easy time understanding and relating to where I'm coming from. Truthfully, I haven't showed anyone outside of LHCF my hair pics except those who went through my digicam and saw. Still, they only looked at my like I was crazy, and I didnt even bother explaining .

 

[Kalayani]

That is why i keep LHCF to myself...don`t have time to deal with the stupid comments i will get from friends and family.

 

[Missi]

Call me selfish but I just wouldn't share this with an Italian/black friend with type 1 or 2 hair (no offense to those hair type members here at all). But LHCF and Fotki is only something that I would share with others with a similar hair type to mine that would have an easy time understanding and relating to where I'm coming from. Truthfully, I haven't showed anyone outside of LHCF my hair pics except those who went through my digicam and saw. Still, they only looked at my like I was crazy, and I didnt even bother explaining .

Maybe thats what I need to do cause she called all of us crazy. So from now on, i'm not gonna say anything, its gonna be a don't ask don't tell, if one of my friends have a ? then i'll answer. Between our hair, its hard competeing. I just can't style my hair and it looks amazingly gorgeous and swaying and full.....she tries to tell me how to do my hair cuz it works for her. Both our hair looks nice but ppl touch her hair and not mineerplexed

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I have a hard time sharing the LHCF with people because most people wont understand so I just keep it as my secret .

 

[honeybadgirl]

Call me selfish but I just wouldn't share this with an Italian/black friend with type 1 or 2 hair (no offense to those hair type members here at all). But LHCF and Fotki is only something that I would share with others with a similar hair type to mine that would have an easy time understanding and relating to where I'm coming from. Truthfully, I haven't showed anyone outside of LHCF my hair pics except those who went through my digicam and saw. Still, they only looked at my like I was crazy, and I didnt even bother explaining .

thats me too!
i dont even bother telling others. sometimes they ask how do i know this or where did i hear that and i just say, a hair site. the pictures on the digital camera make those few that saw them say, "why do you have pictures of the back of you head???
i just say, cause i want to see it and leave it at that....
oh and then there are those that when they compliment your hair or want to get their hair in shape and you tell them well 1st i pre poo using this and shampoo using this, and deep condition etc etc....they say...."oh thats too much. i dont have time for all that" i'm like...ok....

i think we went a little off topic with this...lol

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Maybe thats what I need to do cause she called all of us crazy. So from now on, i'm not gonna say anything, its gonna be a don't ask don't tell, if one of my friends have a ? then i'll answer. Between our hair, its hard competeing. I just can't style my hair and it looks amazingly gorgeous and swaying and full.....she tries to tell me how to do my hair cuz it works for her. Both our hair looks nice but ppl touch her hair and not mineerplexed

You know what would be a good idea? Take her over to:

http://www.longhaircommunity.com/

There, she will find many of her "sisters" taking pictures of their hair and loving it.

Blessings!

 

[Poohbear]

My best friend is mixed, she is italian and black and she has the white hair that is curly when wet and when she straightens it, its long and silky and she never needs a relaxer. I showed her my fotki page and she doesn't understand why we would take pictures of our hair and put it on the internet. I dunno if its just her...but do yall have that one friend(s) who doesn't have trouble growing their long who doesn't understand LHCF or Fotki?

Off topic but...
No one's hair technically needs a relaxer...mine sure doesn't and I don't have that long silky curly hair... And you know what? Yours doesn't either.

Back on topic: No, I don't have any friends who don't have trouble growing long hair who doesn't understand LHCF or fotki... But that is because I never show any friends this LHCF site nor my fotki album. I have shown my mom and sister before, but that's about it.

 

[Whimsy]

The only person who knows about this site is my man... and of course he doesn't truly "get" it. I don't tell ANY friends.... regardless of hair type.

 

[Desert Skye]

not al biracial people have that kinda hair, my niece who is biracial has extremely dry hair and her (white) mother constantly asks me for advice about black hair.

Thats the darn truth. I do not have that type of hair-it would be a sad day for me if I was to simply wash my hair and walk out the door. But thats ok though because the time I put into it make me cherish it more.

I do not share this site with many people. I told some and they think I am being vain talking about my hair and taking pictures of it. So damn what! Why is it so bad for someone to enjoy something about themself and sharing it with people who think alike?

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I haven't experience this. I give my friends access to my fotki, and although at first they were like why all the hair pics, they thought it was cool when I told them about it. I don't usually tell people though, unless they ask. Mostly b/c I hate to share . LHCF is mine!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Well, I actually tire of white people (particularly white women) who treat me like black women are freaks or something. My roommate who is white always looks askance when I try to explain about black hair. This happened after the Imus "nappy-headed" incident. She seems to think that it's no big deal about what Imus said. I found that as I tried to explain to her that while there's nothing wrong with being nappy-headed, Imus's intent was to disparage or berate with his words, she still didn't get it.

Then, she asks me why black women continue to use straighten their hair, referring to relaxers as "that crappy shyt". It seemed like she was being sarcastic as if to say: "black women will never grow their hair long like we white women." I was heated, but again, tried to explain to her without getting too belligerent. She's made these kinds of snarkling comments about blacks several times before. I'm torn as to whether or not I think she's doing this on purpose and sees me as "one of the cool black people" that she can just say anything to. Or, if she simply doesn't have a clue about how important hair is to black women and the kind of impact black hair can have on our self esteem.

I do think there's a level of ignorance. However, I also think that when many whites speak of black hair, they're almost speaking condescendingly of it. There's a very subtle belittling that goes on. I am convinced that they don't see black hair as beautiful, but will never admit it because it's politically incorrect to do so.

And forget explaining about hair growth to them. I've totally given up on that.

As I get older, I am coming to the conclusion that I have to do what's best for me and my health. I know that I sound negative right now, but sometimes I get tired of having to explain these kinds of things to people who don't understand [and honestly don't want to learn].

Forgive me in advance for my rant and possible offense.

ETA: We gotta do what's best for us. Damn the negative, condescending people. I keep this board a secret. No ones but moi!

 

[locabouthair]

That is why i keep LHCF to myself...don`t have time to deal with the stupid comments i will get from friends and family.

I agree......... I dont need the negativity.

 

[PinkSkates]

Don't feel bad... people usually critize or make fun of what they don't understand. I tried sharing info from this forum and I was accused of ..."oh, you wannna have hair swinging down your back like a white girl." So now I just share the info with my husband. It was easier for your friend to dismiss what you're doing than to take the time and try to understand your hair struggles.

 

[JazzyDez]

Yeah I told my ex about the site, he didn't care. But the difference is he is a guy. I didnt mind showing him the back of ya'lls heads because he was happy to know that I was taking care of my hair and would be WL one day. I just couldn't show him all of your pics because some of you are just gawjus!

 

[br0wney3z]

I have a hard time sharing the LHCF with people because most people wont understand so I just keep it as my secret .

Me too. And I love it that way. I like having separate, non-overlapping friends. And I call you friends b/c to a certain extent you are. When I have man, family, friend problems I go to certain friends and so this site and fotki serve the same purpose. When I need hair advice, I turn to you all

 

[Divalicious]

Both our hair looks nice but ppl touch her hair and not mineerplexed

Be happy people are touching her hair and not yours. Who knows where their hands have been?

 

[Whimsy]

Be happy people are touching her hair and not yours. Who knows where their hands have been?

HAHAHA I don't like people touching my hair either.

 

[spiceykitten]

I do not know what to say about this thread.

I think your friend being mixed and her hair type has nothing to do with it.

Either a person is a true friend and wants to understand your hair woes and accomplishments or not.

My closest childhood friend is Asian. We do not have the same hair type. My hair is long and nappy and hers is straight and long.

Yet, we discussed hair and she even combed my hair. She even told me to stop relaxing and felt I was better with own natural texture.

I discuss my hair woes even with my man and he is not nappy. He has straight fine hair and he is not black but guess what he gets it.

Thus, my point is race and hair type does not matter but it matters how considerate your friend is and how much their willing to learn about your hair type.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

Nah, everyone who knows me knows I'm partial to obsessiveness such as hair, nails, chocolate, etc. It's my personality.

My best friend is white, and I have her take my progress pics all the time, show her updates etc. She's never questioned me about it or acted like I was weird. I give her hair tips and everything too.

 

[spiceykitten]

Oh and another thing. No one needs a relaxer! A relaxer is a choice or so that is what many ladies say. Natural hair is truly beautiful and even more beautiful once it is embraced. God made no mistake when he made any of us.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Nah, everyone who knows me knows I'm partial to obsessiveness such as hair, nails, chocolate, etc. It's my personality.

My best friend is white, and I have her take my progress pics all the time, show her updates etc. She's never questioned me about it or acted like I was weird. I give her hair tips and everything too.

Sounds like you got a good friend. Let me add that when I say "white people," I don't mean ALL white people. But I have noticed that many of them simply don't understand, which is fine. I'm just tired of having to teach.

 

[janeemat]

They don't get it. Believe me, this forum is my best kept secret. I have not told one person about me being a member here. My hubby knows and that's it. I'm just not wasting my time trying to explain it because most people just do not understand our hair and all of the hype we experience here. Believe me, I get lot's of compliments on my hair but I just leave it there. Occasionally a couple of ladies at church wants details on what I'm doing to make it look so healthy. I'll share a couple of things but not about the forum. A white lady in my office this morning commented that "she did not know what I've been doing to my hair lately, but it sure looks good". That's always good to hear.

 

[Poohbear]

@spiceykitten, I agree with both of your posts. Your posts in all the threads I've seen are always on point!

 

[Vshanell]

For this very reason is why I don't tell anyone about this site. Sometimes it almost slips but I have to keep it in check . When I get excited and start rambling about hair stuff I have to stop myself because I get the weird looks so I just cover it all up by telling them, "Oh, I just read it somewhere."

 

[br0wney3z]

I don't think it has as much to do with race/ethnicity as it has to do with a lack of understanding. I mean even my parents when I told them kind of just laugh at me and say I am overthinking it, one of my closests friends who has also lurked around on the site kind of snickered when I told her I had joined, and she's black too. That's why I choose not to broadcast to people b/c they see it as a form of vanity, especially if they don't have to work as hard on their hair to see results.

 

[csmoot]

My hubby is white and he is the only one who knows about my complete OBESSION with this site. I have mentioned it to other friends (black and white) and they all kind of looked at me like I was crazy. Except this one white girlfriend that I have who has TONS of problem with her hair- she cannot keep length, its always dry, ends split, thin and fine. SO I was telling her some things and I told her about the site and she actually has been lurking trying to learn somethings.

Even my own cousin, who I thought would be a person I could really share this with (she was natural for years and she basically takes care of her own her- really into healthy hair) basically told me I was just vain and obsessed with my looks. All because I spend time on a hair site.

So as far as I am concern- I love this site and I love learning about hair and concentrating on my hair growth and anybody dont like .....the hell with em.

 

[spiceykitten]

Thank you so much Poohbear!

I cannot say much more in this thread because to be honest the subject makes me frustrated and upset, especially some points made which I touched on.

1. Needing a relaxer. A relaxer is a choice. No black woman or curly hair woman NEEDS a relaxer. God made no mistake when he made any of us.

2. Bi-racial hair is not always silky, straight, or curly. Some are straight up nappy.

3. Since when has Bi-racial people become "They" are we all not in the fight together.

3.Let me just say that if was not for Longhairlovers, where it all started for many us then perhaps some of us would not be here. UH, oops I made a mistake was that started by a white woman and as I remember many people were posting pics of their hair and complaining about growth.

Sometimes I just do not get some of the post on here but I try to keep my fingers shut and move on but I just had to write what I wrote, although off-topic. Thus, excuse me but I am having a bit of frustration that needed to be released.

 

[klb120475]

For this very reason is why I don't tell anyone about this site. Sometimes it almost slips but I have to keep it in check . When I get excited and start rambling about hair stuff I have to stop myself because I get the weird looks so I just cover it all up by telling them, "Oh, I just read it somewhere."

Yep, that's me! I remember one time my aunt came over my house and started fussing at me for having cheap Suave and Vo5 conditioner in the bathroom. I started getting into, well add Evoo and it's works wonders. Then she looked at me real crazy when I started spraying Surge on my scalp...I just looked at her and said "it promotes hair growth". I was really thinking I wish she would go so I can enjoy my hair care....


Oh, one more story.....a couple of week later I went over her house and she was like "you use sulfur 8 grease, becuz your hair smells like it".....I was like "yeah, sulfur 8, that's it".....didn't wanna tell her it was Mtg...

 

[blazingthru]

I get some of those same reactions I only showed this website to my sister and she was like you and your hair drama. So I don't talk about my hair that much anymore. My father listens and is excited about it. When I was little my father was doing every thing he could to get my hair to grow. Now that its growing he wants to hear all that I do to it and that makes my day. I have support from my girlfriend my cousin and my dad. Thats it. I have embarrassed myself trying to help people and then they insult me or look at me like I am crazy. I showed a coworker my new growth picture and she asked me if my head was tilted. I was like are you kidding me. She is natural but her hair is the same length and has been for a year now. I told her the reasons why her hair is the same length but who do I think I am . that was it. No more. I don't speak of it. But one person did come back and asked me about the website and I told her.