why don't THEY understand about growing hair.........

[He_Leads_I_follow]

. My father listens and is excited about it. When I was little my father was doing every thing he could to get my hair to grow. Now that its growing he wants to hear all that I do to it and that makes my day.

Awwww I Love it! that is ABSOLUTELY special!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Nah, everyone who knows me knows I'm partial to obsessiveness such as hair, nails, chocolate, etc. It's my personality.

My best friend is white, and I have her take my progress pics all the time, show her updates etc. She's never questioned me about it or acted like I was weird. I give her hair tips and everything too.

You have a good friend. You'll have to forgive my post. Of course I don't mean ALL white people with my comments, but I just think that in general, there is a lack of understanding about black people in general and black hair in particular. I guess I'm frustrated, but I sincerely meant no harm if this post was directed at me.

 

[DianeDiane]

My best friend is mixed, she is italian and black and she has the white hair that is curly when wet and when she straightens it, its long and silky and she never needs a relaxer.

Is her dad black or is her mom black? Something tells me she has a white mom so no she wouldn't understand.

 

[MrsHouston]

You know what would be a good idea? Take her over to:

http://www.longhaircommunity.com/

There, she will find many of her "sisters" taking pictures of their hair and loving it.

Blessings!

Great Advice

 

[StrawberryQueen]

You have a good friend. You'll have to forgive my post. Of course I don't mean ALL white people with my comments, but I just think that in general, there is a lack of understanding about black people in general and black hair in particular. I guess I'm frustrated, but I sincerely meant no harm if this post was directed at me.

No need to apologize, I understand.

 

[Missi]

Be happy people are touching her hair and not yours. Who knows where their hands have been?

okay...but its like, when she straightens her hair, it feels like my hair after a relaxer. Even though my hair can feel extremely soft sometimes from my maxiglide, you could never tell by lookin at it and sometimes I feel as though a guy does take notice to how a 'black girls' hair is.....short or long; curly or straight just as long as it's together....if someone can put this in simplier terms...plz do

 

[Missi]

My best friend is mixed, she is italian and black and she has the white hair that is curly when wet and when she straightens it, its long and silky and she never needs a relaxer.

Is her dad black or is her mom black? Something tells me she has a white mom so no she wouldn't understand.

her mom is black and her dad is white....

 

[Missi]

Thank you so much Poohbear!

I cannot say much more in this thread because to be honest the subject makes me frustrated and upset, especially some points made which I touched on.

1. Needing a relaxer. A relaxer is a choice. No black woman or curly hair woman NEEDS a relaxer. God made no mistake when he made any of us.

2. Bi-racial hair is not always silky, straight, or curly. Some are straight up nappy.

3. Since when has Bi-racial people become "They" are we all not in the fight together.

3.Let me just say that if was not for Longhairlovers, where it all started for many us then perhaps some of us would not be here. UH, oops I made a mistake was that started by a white woman and as I remember many people were posting pics of their hair and complaining about growth.

Sometimes I just do not get some of the post on here but I try to keep my fingers shut and move on but I just had to write what I wrote, although off-topic. Thus, excuse me but I am having a bit of frustration that needed to be released.

I wasn't callin bi-racial people 'they'.....i was referring to the ppl who don't understand about growin hair. It hurt a little bit when my friend though I was crazy for postin pics on the internet of my hair.

 

[vivadiva85]

I tell ppl about this part of the forum all the time. They may think its weird when I first tell them, but every last one of them (well all 3 of them) are lurkers now... so um, I dare them to say something.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

I guess I'm selfish because I don't share this site with anyone ...well I did share it with my BFF when I first joined and she was like eehhh. She paid up for a membership, read a little bit and now waits for me to buy up all the products, test them and then report back to her

I tend to keep all my tidbits learned to myself because folx just don't understand pre pooing, baggying, protein/moisture balances, or why I'd want to stretch a relaxer for half a year...nor do I have the patience to explain it

 

[Hidden_Angel]

I guess I'm selfish because I don't share this site with anyone ...well I did share it with my BFF when I first joined and she was like eehhh. She paid up for a membership, read a little bit and now waits for me to buy up all the products, test them and then report back to her

I tend to keep all my tidbits learned to myself because folx just don't understand pre pooing, baggying, protein/moisture balances, or why I'd want to stretch a relaxer for half a year...nor do I have the patience to explain it

the picture in your siggy makesme jealouse! so pretty is that your natural color?

 

[Missi]

I guess I'm selfish because I don't share this site with anyone ...well I did share it with my BFF when I first joined and she was like eehhh. She paid up for a membership, read a little bit and now waits for me to buy up all the products, test them and then report back to her

I tend to keep all my tidbits learned to myself because folx just don't understand pre pooing, baggying, protein/moisture balances, or why I'd want to stretch a relaxer for half a year...nor do I have the patience to explain it

OMG! Ppl think I done lost my damn mind when they ask whats that on my ponytail and I tell them, and their response is WHY...u kno how embarassing that is (its always infront of a audience). My friend pulls it out my hair...she says I need 2 stop being lazy and do my hair.

 

[PinkPeony]

You have a good friend. You'll have to forgive my post. Of course I don't mean ALL white people with my comments, but I just think that in general, there is a lack of understanding about black people in general and black hair in particular. I guess I'm frustrated, but I sincerely meant no harm if this post was directed at me.

Actually there is a lack of understanding about black hair period... from black AND white
So far the 3-4 white people I told about my regimen and stretching out relaxers thought that all those steps make sense while to this day my blk co-workers keep telling me that I need a perm when I'm 5 wks post.When I mention that I eventually would like to go natural I just get blank stares .
It's all good I'm not mad at them,I don't have the hair yet to shake their believes and even if I guess it's their loss.

P.S I'm mixed and 4a/b
Not all mixed girls have *silky* hair like not all blacks have type 4 hair only.

Willy,my DH doesn't really understand why I take progress pics and post them but he supports me and is happy for me about my progress(even tough he hates the bun ) maybe you should talk with your gf about your hurt feelings.She's not just a random stranger but someone that has a place in your heart,let her know how you feel and then go from there.

 

[InNeedofHairapy]

wow, wow, wow. this board sometimes..man.

 

[sunnydaze]

I believe for many of us, long and/or full, thick pretty hair is the great divide. And many people assume that bw fall on the "don't/can't have" side Even un-lhcf exposed bw believe it. This is why I love to see bw in real life with beautiful healthy looking hair whether it be natural, relaxed, texlaxed, etc. Everyone stares at it.

Growing up, for some reason white girls, in particular were always trying to get their hands in my hair..and I wasn't having that!

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Off topic but...
No one's hair technically needs a relaxer...mine sure doesn't and I don't have that long silky curly hair... And you know what? Yours doesn't either.

Back on topic: No, I don't have any friends who don't have trouble growing long hair who doesn't understand LHCF or fotki... But that is because I never show any friends this LHCF site nor my fotki album. I have shown my mom and sister before, but that's about it.

In Willy's defense, I don't think she meant that statement as saying all black women NEED relaxers. I just think she was just trying to illustrate to us, the STRAIGHTNESS of the person in question's hair. It's common sense that we all don't need relaxers. I don't think that is what she meant at all.

Anyways, to answer the question, I tell NO ONE about this board. One friend found out and she is now into haircare and is a member on others boards. But other than her and my sis, it's my little secret *evil laugh*.

Like Ella said, I don't think most people understand, BLACK OR WHITE...

 

[ebonylocs]

I do think there's a level of ignorance. However, I also think that when many whites speak of black hair, they're almost speaking condescendingly of it. There's a very subtle belittling that goes on. I am convinced that they don't see black hair as beautiful, but will never admit it because it's politically incorrect to do.

I think you're projecting your own feelings just a little bit. White people vary in their opinions just as black people do. There are white people who don't like our hair, and there are white people who think our hair is THE SHYTE. I have mostly encountered the latter - people who are in awe of how versatile, gravity-defying, textured, etc, our hair is, while theirs just hangs there in flat, lank, straight boringness, all the time.

 

[Proudpiscean]

The only person who knows about this site is my man... and of course he doesn't truly "get" it. I don't tell ANY friends.... regardless of hair type.

Same here. LHCF is my 'home' and I don't share it with anyone.....just like I don't share my real home with anyone.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Actually there is a lack of understanding about black hair period... from black AND white
So far the 3-4 white people I told about my regimen and stretching out relaxers thought that all those steps make sense while to this day my blk co-workers keep telling me that I need a perm when I'm 5 wks post.When I mention that I eventually would like to go natural I just get blank stares .
It's all good I'm not mad at them,I don't have the hair yet to shake their believes and even if I guess it's their loss.

P.S I'm mixed and 4a/b
Not all mixed girls have *silky* hair like not all blacks have type 4 hair only.

Willy,my DH doesn't really understand why I take progress pics and post them but he supports me and is happy for me about my progress(even tough he hates the bun ) maybe you should talk with your gf about your hurt feelings.She's not just a random stranger but someone that has a place in your heart,let her know how you feel and then go from there.

Points well taken.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I think you're projecting your own feelings just a little bit. White people vary in their opinions just as black people do. There are white people who don't like our hair, and there are white people who think our hair is THE SHYTE. I have mostly encountered the latter - people who are in awe of how versatile, gravity-defying, textured, etc, our hair is, while theirs just hangs there in flat, lank, straight boringness, all the time.

It's generally how I feel. As I stated above, when I say "white people," of course I'm not referring to ALL white people. Like when we refer to "blacks," certainly not all of us think, act, speak, walk, etc. alike. I thought I made that clear in my initial post and in two subsequent posts. I'm speaking only of my experiences, and some of this may be due to the fact that I've grown up around whites, attending schools with them (often as one of few blacks), and work with them. Clearly, I'm not speaking in general terms.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

It's generally how I feel. As I stated above, when I say "white people," of course I'm not referring to ALL white people. Like when we refer to "blacks," certainly not all of us think, act, speak, walk, etc. alike. I thought I made that clear in my initial post and in two subsequent posts. I'm speaking only of my experiences, and some of this may be due to the fact that I've grown up around whites, attending schools with them (often as one of few blacks), and work with them. Clearly, I'm not speaking in general terms.

I share your same feelings as well.

 

[Lady Esquire]

My best friend is mixed, she is italian and black and she has the white hair that is curly when wet and when she straightens it, its long and silky and she never needs a relaxer. I showed her my fotki page and she doesn't understand why we would take pictures of our hair and put it on the internet. I dunno if its just her...but do yall have that one friend(s) who doesn't have trouble growing their long who doesn't understand LHCF or Fotki?

black women barely understand their own hair, so imagine how foreign it must be to non blacks. my mother-in-law criticized my regimen when i first started and the last time she saw me, she thought i was wearing extensions and was shocked this was all mine. unless the person is open-minded, nonjudgmental, or in dire need of some hair advice, i keep quiet about all of this.

 

[***Toy-Pisces***]

Only person I have informed is my SO, other than that no one else knows. He still doesn't understand totally. He laughed when I informed him of the site and I said we'll see who will get the last laugh and he shut up.

I choose not to tell anyone because no one believes that I can grow my hair long. My plan is to show them all and then tell later. I am on a hair growing mission for my satisfaction and also to proove a point to the ones that don't think I can achieve BSL.

One day I was pre-pooing and my cousin ask me what was in my hair and i needed to wash it out. She asked if I had a treatment in my hair and I just said "yeah." I didn't disclose any additional information because I know she will not understand. I told her about the no direct heat and she told me she didn't think direct heat was bad. She is use to glue-in weaves every week. At that point I decided not to share any more tips.

 

[Frustrated]

I told my SO about this site and he just shook his head at first, now he told me to let him take all my update pictures ! As for my mother and friends, they don't think I'm vain they think I'm obsessed, but none of them have problems growing their hair.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

You know what would be a good idea? Take her over to:

http://www.longhaircommunity.com/

There, she will find many of her "sisters" taking pictures of their hair and loving it.

Blessings!

I am thinking the same thing too. At first, i was in shock and confused about LHCF, but that died fairly quickly. I always knew that there were better options to growing hair besides weaves and i was sick of telling people that we had to relax our hair. I just never thought to look towards the internet for answers. The only thing that would be off-putting for ppl when they first get here is the "i always wanted long hair like white people"; That could easily freak ppl out. But, it makes a lot of sense for there to be a hair forum. It sounds to me like your friend is being more of a "magical negro" than a genuine concern for your safety against us wackko women. Not that you should hang out with her.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

My mom used to not take my advice...until she started to see the bald patches cover up, her hair is no longer thin, and all the compliments start coming.