I kicked him out!!!

[DarkHair]

I'm with you on getting on the bike, I'm scared. The only time I got on, I had a panic attack and we hadn't even left the driveway. My issue wasn't with him hanging with the fellas, or riding, but more so when will he have time for me. The funny thing, is that most of the guys in the club have wives, which I am cool with, that don't have these issues. So it's not all of them.

I really don't know what to say. I've been there and often get back in this situation. Re the bolded, the guys that DH 'cohorts' with, their wives have bikes. He tried to make it seem as though I'm not alone by mentioning them. To get him thinking, I said 'While y'all are out partying, riding, and going out of town said wives could be cheating and no one would know it.' As far as being in your situation, he should really learn to make time for you. I used to come home from work, and he would be in the garage tinkering with the bike . I would get so mad, so often that he talked to his bike club president about it. He suggested that when I come home for DH to stop what he's doing and to spend time with me. It worked. Now, our problem is that even after spending time with them (Black Bike Week) he invited a member and his gf that rides to an impromptu BBQ. We went to the racetrack recently and said member, gf, and her brother (who all ride) were there. Imagine how out of place I felt, especially since I know little to nothing about bikes or races. I went off on him later.

I don't mean to hijack, but I want you to know that you did well. I hope that this separation allows him to see the error of his ways and change the way he views the club. From experience, when the **** hits the fan, you'll be the one to have his back. In the event that something happens to him on said bike, you'll be the one to take care of him, not them.

I have questions though. Are you supportive of this hobby? Do you attend biker functions? I ask because I used to turn my nose up at it. Now, I go to other club's functions because I have friends that ride or I'm friends with their wives. I hope things get better for you.

 

[PhoenixRose360]

I never had a problem with him riding. I went to the bike parties, bbq's, bike nights etc. So I'd say I was supportive. The wives and I were part of the Social Club side of the club. Most of us didn't ride or have a bike anyway, so we'd hang out by ourselves. All I was saying is that there's 7 days in a week, can I get 1? Do you have to go riding or to a bike function every day/night? When do you say I'm not going out with yall tonite, I'm going to hang with my girl? Or when do you suggest that we hang out, why must it always come from me that we should do something?

 

[DarkHair]

I mentioned your situation to DH and he said 'Oh thats just the beginning.' He's been riding for a while and there are still times when I get mad at the lack of time we spend together. I can only wish you the best in your decision(s) about this. I know its hard. In MY situation, I still **** and moan about stuff, but I'm used to it. We've compromised. I think you've done all that you can, its up to him to do some giving.