I just filed for divorce today.

[Lisa23]

You did the right thing. There will always be some reason to put it off. He has a family, they can take care of him. You're done.

 

[life_is_great]

Excuse me. Girl don't beat yourself up on this. I hate to be harsh but let's be honest...all this coming back on him and as for as you being his caretaker let him go to his mama. He's not your responsibility anymore. He messed that up remember?

LOL. Ok, ok. I needed that. Yes, he did mess that up. He can go to his mamma or one of his womens.

 

[life_is_great]

This is why I love this board. You all are so brutally honest. I am also somewhat excited and happy, b/c I know this torment is about to end. Maybe it's normal to have mixed emotions. UUUPPPP & ddddooowwwnnnnn .

 

[Honey6928215]

This is why I love this board. You all are so brutally honest. I am also somewhat excited and happy, b/c I know this torment is about to end. Maybe it's normal to have mixed emotions. UUUPPPP & ddddooowwwnnnnn .

Yes, it's normal to have mixed emotions because you wished that this would have turn out differently or better but noooooo he's the one that wants to be an a**. So that's on him. I'm sorry you didn't get your house but there will be a better one. Hopefully far away from him. All I know is make sure you get missing when they serve those papers. Oh what about your daughter. Does he pick her up from school? He may try to use her to get to you. Be careful of that.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Really happy to see you follow through with this one. I will really keep you up in prayer. Because this is a serious matter.

Stay strong and be wise. The Lord did not make any fools.

 

[Honey6928215]

MrsPatricewww..

What does his folks say about all this? You posted that they were pissed off at him. But they are going to be more pissed off now that he's gonna turn to them to take care of him after you gave him the boot. It's like having another mouth to feed.

Don't be surprised, on down the line they are going to try to talk you into getting back together with him just to get him out of their hair. I have seen it happen with my sister after she divorce her husband. And they were begging her to work someting out with him. They wanted him to move out of their house. She didn't give in though and she's happier.

 

[life_is_great]

Yes, it's normal to have mixed emotions because you wished that this would have turn out differently or better but noooooo he's the one that wants to be an a**. So that's on him. I'm sorry you didn't get your house but there will be a better one. Hopefully far away from him. All I know is make sure you get missing when they serve those papers. Oh what about your daughter. Does he pick her up from school? He may try to use her to get to you. Be careful of that.

I wasn't trying to buy a house. I am trying to sell mine. I'm not worried about him getting served. My cousins and their friends are coming to move my stuff out tomorrow while he is at the doctor. They want him to try something when he gets home, b/c they want to beat him down. However, I will have the order with me, which will be in effect even if he hasn't been served. I can call the cops to have him removed. And no, he does not pick my daughter up from school. My daughter does not like him.

 

[Honey6928215]

I wasn't trying to buy a house. I am trying to sell mine. I'm not worried about him getting served. My cousins and their friends are coming to move my stuff out tomorrow while he is at the doctor. They want him to try something when he gets home, b/c they want to beat him down. However, I will have the order with me, which will be in effect even if he hasn't been served. I can call the cops to have him removed. And no, he does not pick my daughter up from school. My daughter does not like him.

Does she see his family? That happens when a child sees his family and next thing you know they will start changing on you 'cause 'blood is thicker than water' so there is no need telling what they will let him do to you.

 

[life_is_great]

MrsPatricewww..

What does his folks say about all this? You posted that they were pissed off at him. But they are going to be more pissed off now that he's gonna turn to them to take care of him after you gave him the boot. It's like having another mouth to feed.

Don't be surprised, on down the line they are going to try to talk you into getting back together with him just to get him out of their hair. I have seen it happen with my sister after she divorce her husband. And they were begging her to work someting out with him. They wanted him to move out of their house. She didn't give in though and she's happier.

I don't know what they will think and really don't care. His mom is putting her house up for sale this summer and moving in with her soon to be new husband. He won't be there for long. His brother won't let him stay there b/c he is too irresponsible and I don't think they are speaking right now.

 

[Honey6928215]

I don't know what they will think and really don't care. His mom is putting her house up for sale this summer and moving in with her soon to be new husband. He won't be there for long. His brother won't let him stay there b/c he is too irresponsible and I don't think they are speaking right now.

Oh man! Homeboy is up s**tscreek. He should have behave himself. Look like he burned down his bridges as far as family is concerned.

 

[life_is_great]

Does she see his family? That happens when a child sees his family and next thing you know they will start changing on you 'cause 'blood is thicker than water' so there is no need telling what they will let him do to you.

He's not my daughter's father and she only sees his family occassionally. We only see his family occassionally.

 

[Honey6928215]

He's not my daughter's father and she only sees his family occassionally. We only see his family occassionally.

Thank God you don't have to worry about that.

Well I'm gonna clock in for tonight. Please let us know what happened. I want to know how it turned out. Good Luck, God Bless and keep your head up.

 

[life_is_great]

Thank God you don't have to worry about that.

Well I'm gonna clock in for tonight. Please let us know what happened. I want to know how it turned out. Good Luck, God Bless and keep your head up.

Ok. I will keep you posted.

 

[MzTami]

Mrs. P.

I'm glad to hear from you, I was wondering how everything was going. As a former divorcer, I know how you feel. Since my last bad marriage, I have re-married and let me tell you, it does get better.

My advice to you is to go ahead and cry, whale, whatever you have to do to get this man out of your system. Going through a divorce isn't easy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't cry when I got my divorce, but I was disappointed because of a failed marriage. But hey, life isn't perfect and neither am I. This is just another obstacle that you will overcome in due time.

BTW.. I'm glad that you have turned to God for your savior because you are truly going to need him. Keep the faith and please BE SAFE! Also, do not meet with him, if he wants to try to talk things through. Keep your guard up at all times and DON'T TRUST HIM! He will soon have NOTHING! So he has NOTHING to lose!

BTW.. don't feel sorry for him, he didn't feel sorry for you when he was doing his thang. TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER!

 

[firecracker]

Go MsP! I say puck him cuz he is getting his what his trif arse deserves minus the blade. I still want to cut em! I am so proud of you gurl. Sho those feelings away with prayer to remain strong and respected.

 

[jrae]

You are right. I guess I feel sorry b/c his whole world is about crumble. No home, no money, he will have a vehicle for about 30 days, then I'm getting that too. Also he has been sick since last week. His asthma is baaddd. He went to the ER Saturday, we thought they would admit him, but they didn't. I just don't know if I should have waited until he got well.

MPW, I'm so proud of you. Hang in there girl and don't feel bad. His world is crumbling because HE demolished it, not you. About his health... he's not too sick to cuss you out and treat you bad now is he? You're not a door mat and he does not deserve your concern.

 

[NYCQT16]

I am so happy Ms.Patrice that you are going to be finally free of him. You deserve so much more than this person who calls himself a man

Off topic, XXXtacy...my mom does the exact same thing! She says it calms her too

In times of trouble, I say, "Peace Be Still" over and over. It calms me down and makes everything clear.

 

[RushGirl]

I'm sorry you are going through all of this..I too am getting a divorce and I have an OP against my husband...but things do get better! This will make you a stronger person.. I wish you the best of luck! Just always make sure you and your daughter are safe!

 

[honey_jammz82]

I am praying for you, I am going through hella drama in my marriage as well, but just stay strong and focus on you. God will never give you more than you can handle, and I know everything that we are going through is going to make us that much stronger! Well, take care of yourself, focus on you, I realized that I put myself on the backburner for the 2+ years we have been married. I decided to lose weight, finish school, and just do things for me, and it feels good. Well, stay safe and you are in my prayers!

 

[ElegantExotic]

MrsPatrice,
Last night my professor was talking about how men have slackened and women have to step in a take up for them. She was talking about how women have their own houses and their own money and men are ok to just sponge off of them. I immediatley thought of you and wondered how you were doing, and low and behold come home and there is a post from you.

I am so glad that you are taking this step. However, PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL! I suggest you go somewhere where he can't find you, or would least expect you to be. PLEASE!!!

I am praying hard for you and your daughter during this rough time. Hang in there and keep your head up.

 

[kisz4tj]

WOW, you're definitely moving in the right direction. I agree with MsTami, you go ahead and deal with those rollercoaster emotions, cry...let it out, you have to.....bottling it up is toxic. Be Smart and Be Safe. Remember he doesn't deserve you and you never has. In fact, if I were in your shoes I'd pity him also...Pity Pity on the Fool! He'll have to live and grow from his mistakes like everyone else.

 

[Leigh]

{{{{{hug}}}}}. Good for you.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Good luck MrsP! You are a force to be reckoned with.

 

[LizLeila]

Is it just me, or is anyone else nervous? I think I will be until she comes in here and lets us know that everything went ok.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

I'm a little nervous too...

Mrs. P, I'm in Birmingham for the next few days, so if you need anyone to help with a beatdown... let me know!

 

[MissYocairis]

My atty is also doing an order of protection. My husband will be served with the restraining order either this evening or tomorrow at which time he will have to leave my house. I am excited that I am about to be free, but I am sad. Don't know if I'm feeling guilty or just sad. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, not after all he's done to me. Just wanted to give you guys an update.

((((((Mrspatriceww)))))) You are in my thoughts and prayers. It's really tough now, but, it will get easier with time. Guaranteed.

 

[facets]

Another prayer for your safety and peace!

 

[CandiceC]

Is it just me, or is anyone else nervous? I think I will be until she comes in here and lets us know that everything went ok.

I'm nervous too.
I'll keep checking back for updates.

I hope she and her daughter stay safe!

 

[Leigh]

This is why I love this board. You all are so brutally honest. I am also somewhat excited and happy, b/c I know this torment is about to end. Maybe it's normal to have mixed emotions. UUUPPPP & ddddooowwwnnnnn .

Yes, it's very normal. That's why it's important to have people around you to keep you on track once youve decided on a course of action.

 

[CinnaMocha]

mrspatriceww,

I think what you are going through is normal...you will be fine....I'll say a prayer for you.