I just dont know what to think....Is he cheating?

EbonyYoungin517

EbonyYoungin517

Member
So I found out my hubby's Yahoo! Mail password and I decided to look into his account. What I see is I see emails from phone numbers (not actual email addresses) ...probably about 2. One particular number sends messages calling him baby and how she loves him and misses him. He is deployed for Afghanistan. On top of that she sends him pictures of her face and then of her in a thong. He sends no reply. None what so ever. I call her number...blow it up..never ever did she pick up the phone.

Phone number #2 she sends messages just saying she misses him. Looking back into his email, its a girl that has sent him naked photos prior to me and she sends him pictures of her cleavage and her *** and even goes further as time progresses of her actual breast. He did not reply to any of her emails either. Now with #2 it gets more difficult. I find out her name and I look her up on FB and MS and her pages says nothing about a man or anything. Just about her son. Now it just so happens every single time my hubby is online for a long time she sends him this nude pics of herself...and when im talking to him as well. She has also sent him pictures of her son with her and by himself. Yet no emails. So occasionally when I log in his yahoo...ill forget to not let the yahoo mail log into yahoo messenger and everytime i do so I recieve an offline message from her to him and each time its been rather innocent...'hey sexy.' 'miss you' blah and then today it happen again only she said 'miss you.' 'you better give me lots of sex when you come back'. I flip out. So I create a fake yahoo and I chat with her and she denies having anything with him and inquires about his and i relationship. I decline to tell her and then I ask if there is nothing going on, whats good with the nudies? She says she's already told me no and shoos me away...


Now I dont know what to do. When I send him emails, he replies to mine occasionally and never deletes any of mine but within time he will delete all of their emails... oh and #2 when I call her phone...no answer as well


Ladies what should I think?

Aside from all this mess. He has been a great man to me. He is generally respectful, affection and caring. Puts me before a lot of people. His family adores me and he will always go the extra mile for me. Just to try and balance whatever negative picture I painted of him above...
 
I would definitely consider this cheating. He probably deleted all the items from his sent box so that's why its appearing as though he's not responding to their emails. The girl who you confronted may be denying any wrong doing because she knows about you and doesn't want him to get busted. Either way, this does not look like its gonna end well.
 
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would gather as much info as possible before confronting him. Also, copy all of the e-mails in case he tries to delete them, one of the ladies may tip him off.
 
I really hate this is going on but it sounds like he might be cheating or at least serious flirting. What do you plan to do with this new information.

Speaking of his positive qualities..what made you decide to look into his account?

I hope it's not what it appears OP.
 
TayMac: I'm really just a very very nosy person and if anyone gives me a password to anything I can't help my big nose and snif through. It's a horrible habit I have been trying to curve for the longest.

Sapphire: Yahoo puts a notice next to the emails when you reply to the or forward them. That's how I concluded he hasnt replied to any of them.
 
hopeful said:
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would gather as much info as possible before confronting him. Also, copy all of the e-mails in case he tries to delete them, one of the ladies may tip him off.
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This is very good advice. Copy/send those emails to your account for evidence. And women are so scandalous now, I wouldn't be surprised if she called your husband letting him know that "your wife found out about us". :nono: Be ready for him to swear up and down that nothing's going on, and that you can call her and she'll tell you the same thing. :rolleyes:
 
EbonyYoungin517 said:
The most frustrating part of all of this is that we just got married the 10th of this month.
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Hmmm....maybe they don't know about you. How long have you and hubby known each other (romantically)? Are these women in the same city as you?

Careful on forwarding emails to your account. There may be a record of it (aside from the "sent" folder). I know Google attaches any activity to the message string and calls it a conversation.
 
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Yikes, I'm sorry to hear this.

I don't know if calling/contacting these women was the best idea though... I know your hubby is in Afghanistan, but I hope you can get the answers that you need from him soon.

Sending hugs your way!
 
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. The emails themselves are cheating and you shouldn't have to put up with that.
 
Copy them and send them to him!!!
Meanwhile... get dressed... go out... and find yourself some company since he has decided to do so... lol but no really...
this behavior is unacceptable... I don't know what you want to do as a result, cuz some people would leave because of this...
abut this is definitely a warning sign. I am so proud of you for being courageous enough to look through his emails. That is definitely your right as a wife...
I think you shouldn't talk to the women though and copy paste send that mess straight to him.
Meanwhile... make sure you are taking care of yourself. You're beautiful and you definitely don't deserve that kind of treatment.
 
He could just be writing them e-mails by copy and pasting into a totally new e-mail and then deleting them.

I really hope you can get to the bottom of this. ((( HUGS )))
 
wow, technology is a mother******

i wish you could go back in time and not have contacted the other woman. of course he knows that you know now. did you tell the other woman you were his wife? if not he may think it's the first chick checking up on him.

i would play innocent until he arrives and then BAM slap all the emails on him the first day he was back.

unfortunately it does sound like he is cheating. i can't think of any other logical reason why women would email pics of thier tits and *** to a man.

that sucks. sorry you're going through this.
 
SweetCaramel1: No I did not tell her that I was his wife. She asked me about my relationship with me and I kept it vague and simple. 'something like that'.

Lucie: That could always be a possibility but I just don't know. He's too lazy to go through the trouble. He doesn't know I know his password.

prettyfaceANB : unfortunetly no... :-(
 
keep it that way make sure he doesnt know and just keep an eye on it...
"i want some sex when you get back"
that sounds like they have a history...
how do you feel about him? are u deeply in love with him and prepared to deal with this deception? i bet the level of trust you had for him is so low at this point... and he is so far away... i can't imagine how u must feel
this was so hurtful and finding out that way is the worst... i have found out on cheaters through email, but not my husband.... i've never been married...
and to think you have been home holdin it down for him while he is talkin to women while he is deployed...
i just can't imagine what all your emotions might be right now...
it must really hurt... im so sorry u had to go through that
 
You haven't even been married for a month and you are going through this.:nono:

This is going to be a tough one because since this is happening early on in your marriage, how you handle this is going to set a precedent for what he expects your reaction to be in the future should this happen again.

I don't have any advice but hope it works out for you.

Has he cheated in the past during the time when you two were dating?
 
Xavier said:
You haven't even been married for a month and you are going through this.:nono:

This is going to be a tough one because since this is happening early on in your marriage, how you handle this is going to set a precedent for what he expects your reaction to be in the future should this happen again.

I don't have any advice but hope it works out for you.

Has he cheated in the past during the time when you two were dating?
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Not that I know of. This has all been within the last two weeks. As far as I understand...I don't know if he is effin her, had when we were together or plan to but all I know is that he has inappropriate relationships with females he shouldn't have as a married man. What baffles this young soul is how far a man will be a hypocrite and will expect the upmost from you and will be a dirty dog all the while!!
 
This doesn't sound good to me, Obviously there were issues that is why you decided to "snoop"

A Women's intution is usually right.

I hope you are able to solve this and he can regain your trust!
But for something like this to happen in the very beginning of a marriage? :nono:
I wonder if it would even be possible for you to trust him again? :(

When is he back from Afghanistan?

((hugs))
 
Sorry to hear about this. I went thru exactly the same situation when my DH was in iraq which is why we are in the midst of a divorce. But our issues went really deep...well his issues were deep.:look:

But anyways....this doesn't mean that your marriage has to end in divorce but this is definitely a wake-up cal and some serious changes will have to be made in order for you all to get past this and stay together.

Just remember thru all of this that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his insecurities. It's good that he doesn't know..that way you can make your plan b, c, d, e, f without any interference from him. If you are planning on divorcing him....let him dig himself into a deep grave. I know that right now you want answers from him but now is not the time to pursue them. It's easier said than done but find something else (positive) to focus on. And only share this with supportive, non-judgemental friends/family. Seek spiritual guidance
 
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maybe is some desperate skank and I can guarantee your husband is not the only person she sends pictures of herself to.
 
Sapphire said:
I would definitely consider this cheating. He probably deleted all the items from his sent box so that's why its appearing as though he's not responding to their emails. The girl who you confronted may be denying any wrong doing because she knows about you and doesn't want him to get busted. Either way, this does not look like its gonna end well.
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First thing I thought of.
 
Have you checked the trashcan in his account? :look: Just because you delete an email in Yahoo doesn't mean it's actually gone - you have to clean out your trashcan, as well. :look:

Until you know what - if any - responses he's giving this woman, there is a possibility (not a high one, but there is one) that he's told her to bugger off, he's married now, and he's not interested in her, anymore.

I hope you figure it out.
 
When you said it appeared he never responded... I would STILL be looking for a response that said "Leave me alone" or "quit tripping."

The fact that he doesn't, and that you can log into his name and see some crazyness tells you a lot. I think you already know the answer, you're just trying to get us to confirm it for you.

Get thy house and finances in order... and prepare to move whichever way you choose.
 
JustKiya: I most def check the trashcan. He is not responding to these females. My husband isnt the type to creat new emails. If he was going to reply to messages he would open a previus email and then delete the body and put whatever he ahs to put. He does that with everyone. I follow his habit and then Yahoo but put an icon next to email to signify that he replied. Another thing is when I looked at his Afgahn fone when he was done from R&R...I didnt see any numbers I shouldnt have seen. No textes dat shouldnt be there and no calls that look suspicious so it may just be an online thing...and he wouldnt spend money on a hoe. Point blank. But that don't mean he won't beat it down when he gets back from deployment. Not at all and to piss me off. I dont mean to sound ignant...but this girl that I spoke to.....those girls that sent pics....THEY'RE WHITE!!!!!!! It just boils my blood. THen the girl I spoke to, ugly and badbodied. I'm not saying it because I think this is his next b---h but simply I expected better and more. It just gets me so upset. She's hispanic, fat, not attractive as I and with a baby. He doesn't even like kids. We both plan not to have kids ever but you will mess with a girl with a git??? I dont understand!!!
 
TheLaurynDoll: The fact is I don't know. Nothing adds up. These girls dont pick up the phone. Their online profiles dont mention him. He doesn't reply to any of their emails, even the heartfelt ones but he has to mine.


So I'm guessing I'm wifey but these are side flings but then again, how can they be when he doesnt even waste time to talk to them over there. I'm the only one he talks to when he's in Afghanistan and I know this to be a fact because the man is so tight with his mother and doesn't even call her and she has confirmed it when I randomly made her say it. He doesn't even call his bestfriend who saved his life when he got stabbed in a clubfight and I know this to be true because a time I was with the bestfriend, I called him and he called back and the bestfriend took the phone from me and gave it to him about keeping in contact with him and he obviously keeps in heavy contact with me since I got a ringtone for him and I could hear him whine to his bf in the phone trying to play it down. He wouldn't call a hoe over them.



He treats me well. He left me a brandnew car he just financed while he's deployed. He sends me money. So I don't doubt that I'm the one he loves and blahblah but I dont give a f--k about all that crap. I give it all to him. Respect, love, and faithfulness. I want it all as well.


It's like I have all this proof that he is being dishonest...but then again...there are things that are just not adding up.

Bottom line I do know he has having inappropriate relationships with these girls. Like a lady commented earlier I dont have to deal with this and thses emails, these nudes pics are cheating. Does that mean he's pounding? Who knows...He could just keep a flirtacious relationship with him because the girl said they're friends but the only thing that gives me suspicion is when I ask what was up with the nudies? That's when she said, "damn I said no and why dont you ask him? U keep waking up my son and I'm getting irritated" and I just left it alone. She obviously isnt going to say anything but the fact that she asked am I in a relationship with him shows she didnt know about me and she even asked how long him and I have been together..
 
EbonyYoungin517 said:
He treats me well. He left me a brandnew car he just financed while he's deployed. He sends me money. So I don't doubt that I'm the one he loves and blahblah but I dont give a f--k about all that crap. I give it all to him. Respect, love, and faithfulness. I want it all as well.
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I feel you. It's like you have the proof but nothing "concrete enough" to pin him to a wall. Well, if you find the nature of their relationship inappropriate, then it's up to you to make it clear to HIM, not her, that it is. His passive "acceptance" of this shows he's okay with pulling an excuse like, "She's just entertaining me... I don't even find her attractive, so it's funny to see her act like this, etc." as an attempt to throw you off. Her "ugliness" as you put it, can simply be a way for him to get over on you based on your ego (thinking "I know I look better than her so I don't care").

Bottom line, you don't like it. It's cool to hear from us, but he's the one you really need to air this out with. You know him better than we do, and at some point, you'll realize you've heard enough from LHCF. :)

Act on it, the best way you know how.
 
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