I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of details)

[LovinLocks]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Eh, who knows.

Sometimes men aren't serious, sometimes they are.

One night doesn't really mean anything. It's consistency that does.

Plus y'all were drinking.

Yup!!!

Honey, The Rules, Steve Harvey's book, the Bible, and a bunch of Michelle Hammond McKinney is what you need.

LET HIM CHASE YOU, Booh. Do not text him again, DO NOT CALL HIM; let him be the man, the aggressor.

 

[Supervixen]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Yup!!!

Honey, The Rules, Steve Harvey's book, the Bible, and a bunch of Michelle Hammond McKinney is what you need.

LET HIM CHASE YOU, Booh. Do not text him again, DO NOT CALL HIM; let him be the man, the aggressor.

I want to add, "Why Men Love BXTCH3S" by Sherry Argrove.

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

yeah. funny thing is I'm no longer interested in him anymore. Took him too long to apologize. Now I just think he's HOT

Hey, I can dig a hot dude. I always say to folks, ooh, he's hot, but too bad he CRAZY!

Okay, what I was gonna say is that for you claiming to be shrugging it off and "no longer interested," you sure are making a big deal out of every little text and statement he's making... so how about telling the truth to yourself... you know you're interested or else you wouldn't be analyzing all this and asking us if he's really a nice guy or not. You're not interested right, so why do you care?

So, be straight with yourself. If you wanna play juvenile text/phone tag games with this dude, then go ahead and do so. If you wanna go out again and see what happens, then fine.

But then don't come back and go, "Waaaah, why am I dating jerks? Waaah, why aren't men calling me?" Just own the moment and accept the consequences unless you seriously want to be with a good guy that doesn't come with all this silliness.

 

[HairQueen]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

well I initiated a texting convo after 2 days. Then he didn't text me until a week after that. He called me late last night. I've been reading the rules book lately, and it says not to be surprised if it takes a guy 1-2 weeks to contact you after a date which is how long it took him.

Btw, I thought the same thing when I read your thread! I was like how similar!!!

Yes I have the rules and it does say that in the book, I guess I am just impatient.

I am glad to hear yours has gotten in contact!!!!! I will be checking this thread very frequently for your updates!!

 

[Crystal]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I'm confused. Are you trying to marry this man or something? You're awfully sprung. In addition to "The Rules" I'd also advise getting "Why Men love *****es"

There's nothing wrong with being single and empowered. Go back to school, get your masters, write a book, start a business, do something phenomenal. Complete yourself first then add a man to the equation... or else you'll end up like this, sprung after one date.

I'm not saying don't date, but date with your head clear. Trust me when I tell you that he's not on any message boards asking for opinions after this one date... he's out doing his thing. Do you.

I hope I'm not coming off harsh because this really comes from a place of love. But women really need to take dates for what they are, just dates and stop romanticizing about the future until the time is right.

Love is a beautiful thing, so I'm not saying don't allow yourself to love but this just seems awfully quick to be so into Caleb. Pace yourself and it will all work out.

 

[weaveologist]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Girl be cool! Its only the second day!

 

[weaveologist]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

You know, I'm not actually a big phone person either, believe it or not, but it's something that SHOULD be done by a man at certain points if he's truly interested.

There was a time before text messaging existed, and people were actually forced to talk to each other. Not surprisingly, there was a lot less confusion that way in where people stood or not. If someone didn't call, then you knew what was up. None of that, "Well, he texted, so is that okay?" stuff.

As far as I can tell from this thread, Caleb hasn't made one unprompted phone call to you since that night, correct?

I CONCUR!

 

[Bunny77]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I'm confused. Are you trying to marry this man or something? You're awfully sprung. In addition to "The Rules" I'd also advise getting "Why Men love *****es"

There's nothing wrong with being single and empowered. Go back to school, get your masters, write a book, start a business, do something phenomenal. Complete yourself first then add a man to the equation... or else you'll end up like this, sprung after one date.

I'm not saying don't date, but date with your head clear. Trust me when I tell you that he's not on any message boards asking for opinions after this one date... he's out doing his thing. Do you.

I hope I'm not coming off harsh because this really comes from a place of love. But women really need to take dates for what they are, just dates and stop romanticizing about the future until the time is right.

Love is a beautiful thing, so I'm not saying don't allow yourself to love but this just seems awfully quick to be so into Caleb. Pace yourself and it will all work out.

Thanks button.

 

[isawstars]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I'm confused. Are you trying to marry this man or something? You're awfully sprung. In addition to "The Rules" I'd also advise getting "Why Men love *****es"

There's nothing wrong with being single and empowered. Go back to school, get your masters, write a book, start a business, do something phenomenal. Complete yourself first then add a man to the equation... or else you'll end up like this, sprung after one date.

I'm not saying don't date, but date with your head clear. Trust me when I tell you that he's not on any message boards asking for opinions after this one date... he's out doing his thing. Do you.

I hope I'm not coming off harsh because this really comes from a place of love. But women really need to take dates for what they are, just dates and stop romanticizing about the future until the time is right.

Love is a beautiful thing, so I'm not saying don't allow yourself to love but this just seems awfully quick to be so into Caleb. Pace yourself and it will all work out.

Good point. So true.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I just wanted to add that the lady who wrote the rules book got divorced. I think it isn't about following a strict set of rules but really valueing yourself highly in your heart and not tollerating mess.

Once you make the decision that you will not tollerate mess, your own set of rules will become clear IMO. You won't need that book b/c you will know that you wouldn't want to be bothered with a guy who does X, Y and Z, you know?

 

[laCriolla]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I just wanted to add that the lady who wrote the rules book got divorced. I think it isn't about following a strict set of rules but really valueing yourself highly in your heart and not tollerating mess.

Once you make the decision that you will not tollerate mess, your own set of rules will become clear IMO. You won't need that book b/c you will know that you wouldn't want to be bothered with a guy who does X, Y and Z, you know?

"thanks"

exactly, it's about getting the treatment you deserve. and you show a man what that is through your actions.

but first you need to know you are worth a thoughtful effort. NOT a text message, not a late night bootycall / text. not kickin it on the couch. not silly games. not excuses. not backtracking 'oh i think i made a bad impression' after it was clear you weren't going to be giving it up.

you are worth effort. a phone call. some thought. care and concern. a DATE. respectful distance, and a desire to get to know you better.
so when all the ladies say 'don't text' it isn't about following RULES, it's about respect, and making sure you are being respected.

I think op is learning. kudos for not picking up the phone at 1am, op.

 

[CarLiTa]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

OP, notice he keeps saying "when are we going to hang out?" he's not making an effort to actively ask you out again/
He's not setting up anything, just trying to find out when you're free to "kick it" and do whatever.

I don't buy his apology AT ALL. Sorry that he won't kiss you unless you initiate it, etc. etc. I find that to be such BS(maybe because I have heard this nonsense before).

Please don't get so happy about his text messages. It takes barely 30 seconds to text someone, and you don't even have to be looking at the screen to do it... u can literally do it anywhere (almost). And in 2 weeks, especially after all the time you spent together, he was only about to dedicate the entirety of 1-2 minutes to you?

Sigh. I doubt he's expending the same mental energy on your time together as you are. Even reading your original post, about him asking you to turn around so he could prove that he's sincere about not trying to get in your pants? I guess it's understandable that some people might fall for that, but when I read that I just thought "ok, yeah right."

Pleeeasse don't fall for any of this!

 

[HoneyA]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I just wanted to add that the lady who wrote the rules book got divorced. I think it isn't about following a strict set of rules but really valueing yourself highly in your heart and not tollerating mess.

Once you make the decision that you will not tollerate mess, your own set of rules will become clear IMO. You won't need that book b/c you will know that you wouldn't want to be bothered with a guy who does X, Y and Z, you know?

This is sooo true and I am speaking from experience. It's not really about a set of rules someone dreamt up. At one point in my life I only met "dogs". Luckily I never slept with any of them so I must have had some sort of intuition that they weren't to be trusted. There had to be signs but I still got all wrapped up in why they didn't call, if I should call, if they were really interested, what to do, how to act, what to say. There was this one guy who was GORGEOUS. If we made a date for 7, he show up at 9 with an apology. "HoneyA, I'm so sorry but I was with the guys" or "I was playing play-station" WT...??! . But me being naive, I'd be like ok. He did this about six times. He never called much either and he never called to say when he'd be late. Sometimes he was 4 hours late!

I met quite a few guys like that. There were always signs that something else was going on and that they weren't that interested. Then it reached a point where I said, this is nonsense. If a guy is interested he'll let me know and I won't have to twist my mind in every which direction. I got good at spotting "dogs" a mile a way to the point where my friends recount stories and ask my opinion on the guys they are interested in. When you know a guy is a player and isn't doing "right" by you, you won't find it so hard not to call him or even think about him, the "rules" come naturally.

This guy Caleb is a waste of your time. The signs are all there...but until you have had enough and realise the signs for yourself, our opinions here won't do you any good.

 

[JinaRicci]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

OK- I just read this entire thread and you have gotten lots of good advice. The only thing I'll add is that we- women are sometimes carried away by emotions and what we see as 'good signs.' For a long time I was stuck on a guy who I liked in high school and who liked me.. blah-blah but we didn't know until later- same back & forth thing. I think it can seem really romantic to have something like that work out- you know the one that got away.

BUT... there is often a really good reason why that person got away. Learn from the experiences of all these ladies who are telling you 'don't waste your time.' In my case the guy turned out to be the kind who could never commit-could never find the right time to make it work but would still want to make sure that I was available for when he does. As far as I know, he still isn't there yet. I agree with Bunny- if you're honest with yourself- you'll realize that you want him to chase you- maybe it seems romantic.

But from what you've said- no he is not a good guy. Don't let a couple 'good signs' blind you from all the other obvious stuff- that you know isn't sitting well with you. The fact that he is calling you at what 1 AM- even if he was in a different time zone- that would still be wrong. I'm not a big fan of the rules book- think it's a bit outdated e.g. how to deal with the whole txting thing but you have your own gut check. Too many times we as women ignore the intuition we were blessed with.

Please move on-even if he were to start 'chasing you,' please see it for the game that it really is. And we don't know him right but I think most of us might be pretty sure that if you had slept with him, there would be even less txting from him. And to me the whole PDA thing was disrespectful- he's got game just not the right kind. Save yourself heartache and free your heart to be with someone who really deserves you!

 

[Kawaii1]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Uh seems like Caleb is only good for one thing:blondboob

I went out with a guy like this and he definitely only responded to game playing so I had to drop him (he also was suspected of being a cheater. I didn't wait to find out).

What's up with the other guy?

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Dude had a make-out session with you that went too far. then he stopped texting (which would be impossible for a guy to do if you were on his mind and he was interested in you). He invites you over the house to see his "deck". he calls late at night. and he always talking about come and 'hang out'... where is the mention of taking you out on a date or to the movies? Ummm, yea it's very clear to see what he's after....

 

[brownbeauty196]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

He's interested in just having a good time and once he gets that a few times he probably lose interest.erplexed. when a man is interested in you believe me you will know and you wont have to secondguess yourself

 

[locabouthair]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

This is sooo true and I am speaking from experience. It's not really about a set of rules someone dreamt up. At one point in my life I only met "dogs". Luckily I never slept with any of them so I must have had some sort of intuition that they weren't to be trusted. There had to be signs but I still got all wrapped up in why they didn't call, if I should call, if they were really interested, what to do, how to act, what to say. There was this one guy who was GORGEOUS. If we made a date for 7, he show up at 9 with an apology. "HoneyA, I'm so sorry but I was with the guys" or "I was playing play-station" WT...??! . But me being naive, I'd be like ok. He did this about six times. He never called much either and he never called to say when he'd be late. Sometimes he was 4 hours late!

I met quite a few guys like that. There were always signs that something else was going on and that they weren't that interested. Then it reached a point where I said, this is nonsense. If a guy is interested he'll let me know and I won't have to twist my mind in every which direction. I got good at spotting "dogs" a mile a way to the point where my friends recount stories and ask my opinion on the guys they are interested in. When you know a guy is a player and isn't doing "right" by you, you won't find it so hard not to call him or even think about him, the "rules" come naturally.

This guy Caleb is a waste of your time. The signs are all there...but until you have had enough and realise the signs for yourself, our opinions here won't do you any good.

I can so relate to this. I had a guy stand me up and not call and I kept making excuses but bottomline he just didnt want me. Now I know better and I know when it's time to walk away.

 

[imaccami]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

oh my gosh ladies... he texted me AGAIN last night!! it was a bit after midnight! I almost didn't reply, but I did. His text was an apology and saying that he felt like a jerk after that night. He also said that he wouldn't be kissing on me the next time we hang out unless I initiate it and he is afraid he made a bad impression. ...Which he did. I made a comment saying how this is something we'd need to discuss over the phone. He said that he agrees and that he would call me in a minute. I looked at the clock and it was almost 1am! I told myself that unless he calls me in literally A MINUTE, I would answer. And he didn't, so I just went to bed I was still half-awake 10 minutes later when he called but I decided to not answer... (trying to follow the rules, lol) Immediately after he sent me a text saying "I hope you're not asleep already. Call me."

This morning I thought about sending a text saying "sorry I was asleep" but I've decided against it unless he texts me first.

WHAT DO YOU THINK LADIES? Do you think he's really not a bad guy after all???

Oh my gosh! This guy just won't leave you alone! BUT it just proves that the rules work, because when you were unavailable over the weekend and kinda formal with him, he all of the sudden realizes that an apology is in order.

Good for you for not answering his call, but next time don't even answer when he texts that late. He was soooo busy he couldn't possibly send a text before midnight?! Come on, he was bored and couldn't fall asleep and thought oh yeah, maybe I'll text her.

If he's truly interested then he'll ask you out. I know it's hard and we've all been where your at, but try not to think about him and focus on the other guy.

 

[HoneyA]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

I can so relate to this. I had a guy stand me up and not call and I kept making excuses but bottomline he just didnt want me. Now I know better and I know when it's time to walk away.

You see the bolded? Our biggest problem as women... we love to dream up ways to justify a man's bad behaviour. Why do we do this? I used to do it all this time. Then the penny dropped, if a man has the type of problems or hang-ups or whatever else that will preclude him from doing right by me, leave him be to deal with his own issues or seek a good therapist. There are his issues not mine...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Wow! Man, seems like most dudes pull the same old tricks!

Caleb reminds me of so many guys in my past. I felt the same way you did. It's not worth it in the end.

If a guy really likes you, you will not have to question his feelings end of story.

Many men tend to have a 'main' girl that they really really want and will go out of their way for, then they have some other girls who they use to occupy their time and provide companionship when the main girl turns them down or isn't available. I'm sure many single women have the same system.

I used to fall for the same stuff--in this case it was Daniel. It's a pretty similar scenario, and I was left confused about the whole situation. Well Daniel met a girl from out of town, and that's when it all hit me. He was REALLY into this girl, she was all he talked about. He'd drive 2 hours every weekend to see her, and said he couldn't go a day without hearing her voice. So yes, this was a wake up call. What I had with Daniel was NOTHING but an illusion, I observed how a man acts when he's REALLY into a girl and this stuff with Caleb isn't it. You deserve better because I guarantee that when Caleb comes across a girl he REALLY likes, he'll be ringing her phone off the hook everyday trying to set up times to see her.

 

[HairQueen]

Re: I had a REALLY good night with him, but he still hasn't called (long/lots of deta

Any updates OP?

We are both in the same boat so I hear ya..