I Ghosted This Man

Are you kidding me? What?????? You know what you need to do. I'm sure if you show interest to Serge, he'll might follow through.

You need to leave Idris where he is and stop letting him put sand sand in your garri. People like Idris don't change ever. You need someone that will be with you through thick and thin. The moment thin start happening, people like Idris start finding solace in the arms of someone else, then rinse and repeat.

Abeg, let Idris be singing in the rain by his lonesome. This is the (maybe) future of our e-nieces and e-nephews we are fighting for here.
 
Topsido said:
Are you kidding me? What?????? You know what you need to do. I'm sure if you show interest to Serge, he'll might follow through.

You need to leave Idris where he is and stop letting him put sand sand in your garri. People like Idris don't change ever. You need someone that will be with you through thick and thin. The moment thin start happening, people like Idris start finding solace in the arms of someone else, then rinse and repeat.

Abeg, let Idris be singing in the rain by his lonesome. This is the (maybe) future of our e-nieces and e-nephews we are fighting for here.
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Loooool.
You're so right.
But I can't lie, I'm fearful of putting myself out there with him only for him to say no out of respect of his "big brother".

From what I know of men, 1 of 3 things can happen:

1) He can keep a relationship with me private until we are uber serious and then make it public - knowing it would cause a rift between he and Idris but sticking by my side and not caring

2) He can begin to date me but in reality only wanting to hit and quit. He would then use that as a justification to Idris of why he's pursuing me. That way, he'd keep his relationship with Idris in tact while temporarily dating me

3) He can flat out say no because he doesn't want to betray his cousin

He's a good guy (seemingly because we haven't seen each other in years). But honestly, I'm a little skeptical of him choosing Option 1.
 
JFK said:
Loooool.
You're so right.
But I can't lie, I'm fearful of putting myself out there with him only for him to say no out of respect of his "big brother".

From what I know of men, 1 of 3 things can happen:

1) He can keep a relationship with me private until we are uber serious and then make it public - knowing it would cause a rift between he and Idris but sticking by my side and not caring

2) He can begin to date me but in reality only wanting to hit and quit. He would then use that as a justification to Idris of why he's pursuing me. That way, he'd keep his relationship with Idris in tact while temporarily dating me

3) He can flat out say no because he doesn't want to betray his cousin

He's a good guy (seemingly because we haven't seen each other in years). But honestly, I'm a little skeptical of him choosing Option 1.
Click to expand...

It would/should be a smooth transition if he and his cousin don't have similar interests. It would be easy to keep from bumping into Idris if you and Serge were to hang out somewhere.
 
Nyssa28 said:
It would/should be a smooth transition if he and his cousin don't have similar interests. It would be easy to keep from bumping into Idris if you and Serge were to hang out somewhere.
Click to expand...


They do have similar interests.

They are going in together on a business and Idris had been talking about his plan and "his cousin" for a long time. I just didn't know who it was.

I was helping him by creating the landing site for their business.

So.....yeah :cool:

On another note:
I made a HUGE mistake by talking to Idris while I was in negotiation talks with my new job. I gave my highest number thinking the org would back me down but they instantly said "Agreed".

I was taken aback and immediately felt like they were expecting me to ask for more. So I consulted with Idris on whether or not I should circle back to ask for more money.

In reality, I knew what I had to do and didn't really need his help. I think I was just feeling insecure at that moment.

Anyway, I circled back and got more money and Idris knows how much I make.

This doesn't sit well with me now because I have this gnawing suspicion that he's so "into me" because of the money.

Honestly, that's part of the reason why I'm so staunch on blocking him out. I don't like the feeling that he may just want to use me.
(Not that he can because I don't give men money. It's a pet peeve of mine.:look:)
 
I'd forget about both guys and focus on the other billions of men in the world. It's usually best to rule out close friends and relatives of love interests. After all, you don't really know much about the cousin since you've been out of contact for so long. They might be similar.
 
JFK said:
Loooool.
You're so right.
But I can't lie, I'm fearful of putting myself out there with him only for him to say no out of respect of his "big brother".

From what I know of men, 1 of 3 things can happen:

1) He can keep a relationship with me private until we are uber serious and then make it public - knowing it would cause a rift between he and Idris but sticking by my side and not caring

2) He can begin to date me but in reality only wanting to hit and quit. He would then use that as a justification to Idris of why he's pursuing me. That way, he'd keep his relationship with Idris in tact while temporarily dating me

3) He can flat out say no because he doesn't want to betray his cousin

He's a good guy (seemingly because we haven't seen each other in years). But honestly, I'm a little skeptical of him choosing Option 1.
Click to expand...
1. extension - and he could be the love of your life and you get married and have babies. pass him your number and just TALK without the chaperone.
 
hopeful said:
I'd forget about both guys and focus on the other billions of men in the world. It's usually best to rule out close friends and relatives of love interests. After all, you don't really know much about the cousin since you've been out of contact for so long. They might be similar.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I feel like anything with Serge is dead on arrival.
I'm viewing it as cute and fun but not realistic.
It's a sunk cost at this point but it was great seeing him.
 
Your instinct supercedes everything else. Trust your instinct. You know how these men see us as their little helpers until they are financially okay. When you see Serge again, pass you number to him or exchange numbers and tell him it was really good to see him and he should not be a stranger again. The ball is then in his court.

Completely go ghost on Idris. He can't treat women like crap then suddenly be Mr good for you. History tend to repeat itself instinctually.

Now for me personally, I can see myself having so much fun with Mr Serge. I will make him man up without realising it. Just for fun, I will put asunder between both cousins while being the innocent victim. This can go in so many directions. Don't mind me, God is still working on me.
 
SamandI said:
Lol, girl!! Normal dating rules do not apply with these Yoruba demons. He'll stand in the rain and buy you Ferrari until he finishes his demon work.
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59663083.jpg



Ok....you right :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
OP, you're a better woman than me. I'd keep Idris' ass blocked and open the door for Serge to pursue me. True you haven't seen Serge in years. Even the more reasons why should date him, I mean get to know him better over dinner at a swanky restaurant while wearing a low cut dress. :sekret: And then post the pictures all over Facebook for Idris to see. Yes I know I'm petty (and evil). :angeldevil:
 
JFK said:
I just talked to him and was like why the hell you throwing rocks at my window...he was like, they weren't rocks. They were quarters since I know you respond to money :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
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Oh, he got jokes huh
JFK said:
I told him we'll always be friends and I don't hate him but having constant interaction with me is a privilege and I can block whoever I want out of my life if they aren't giving me what I want.
Click to expand...
I like you!
 
JFK said:
Ultimately, we (all the younger people) went outside and the older folks were inside. While outside, Serge made his way to me and we began to chit chat for a hot sec until Idris came and stood close beside me. Serge kind of chilled then. Mind you, Serge is 3-4 years younger to Idris and looks to him as a big brother. When he told me that, I knew there was absolutely no chance to explore anything with him. That dynamic is bigger than an old crush. I know he wouldn't go there with me off of the strength of his cousin liking me alone.....but it was obvious we still liked each other.
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This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoying. Ask me how I know. The loyalty these bastids have for their "bros" Ugggh :lol:

Find Idris a girl!
 
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JFK said:
you tryin get me kilt in these West African gossip streetz
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Exactly, dont even play yourself :lol:

lux10023 said:
Naija family that would not go well..... Any other type of family I would say green light serge
My secret squirrel self would have to have one "amazing" night with serge and leave them both behind :look:
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Tempting Im sure. everyone will know.

cant even be casual or even FB with these people without the world knowing. worst type of people to bother with if you're in the deek only phase..and yall know the same people.

Abge JFK, smile at serge from afar and move on, I will say IF you wanna see if there;s a chacve you will have to avoid being around Idris. Then Serge will know you are serious about not being into him and as he sees Idris truly move on, he might themn feel more comfortable to swoop in
 
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JFK said:
Loooool.
You're so right.
But I can't lie, I'm fearful of putting myself out there with him only for him to say no out of respect of his "big brother".

From what I know of men, 1 of 3 things can happen:

1) He can keep a relationship with me private until we are uber serious and then make it public - knowing it would cause a rift between he and Idris but sticking by my side and not caring

2) He can begin to date me but in reality only wanting to hit and quit. He would then use that as a justification to Idris of why he's pursuing me. That way, he'd keep his relationship with Idris in tact while temporarily dating me

3) He can flat out say no because he doesn't want to betray his cousin

He's a good guy (seemingly because we haven't seen each other in years). But honestly, I'm a little skeptical of him choosing Option 1.
Click to expand...


hopeful said:
I'd forget about both guys and focus on the other billions of men in the world. It's usually best to rule out close friends and relatives of love interests. After all, you don't really know much about the cousin since you've been out of contact for so long. They might be similar.
Click to expand...
And even if he dated you it says something about his character that he would choose to date someone a family member has already dated. Thus he should be ruled out regardless of the scenarios. Unfortunately he's a no go any way you look at it..
 
I'm not going to look out but my lights are on and my car's outside....he knows I'm here.
 
movingforward13 said:
Police
Click to expand...

:laugh:

If he was a random, hell yeah, but we know each other on a different level and our families know each other. I don't feel physically threatened by him.....just annoyed.

I think I'm going to call him and just make things clear that us exploring anything is over and repeat that he shouldn't come to my house unannounced.

He must have thought I was playing when he came the first time and thought I would take him off block after that begging in the rain scene.
 
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