I AM SO TIRED....

M

mstaiti

Well-Known Member
I have been married to my husband for four years. Everything that comes out of this man's mouth is a lie. I MEAN EVERYTHING. He will look me in my face and lie without having any guilt. He will lie and when caught will get very dramatic and try to get you to believe him that sometimes you second guess yourself like "wait maybe he is telling the truth", but it isn't. Now the lying isn't the only part, i caught him sending naked pictures of himself to some trashy female that he works with and of course she was sending him the same. But what did I do? I stayed. But now with the continous lies everytime I turn around, I am tired. Ive tried counseling, etc. Nothing works. This man is content with lying and will not stop no matter how it much he sees that he hurts me. Now I want out! I can't do it anymore!! :wallbash: He's a nice guy but has some real screwed up ways about him that I know that's never going to change.

Ladies what would you do?
 
I Hope you are packing as you type? Maybe not?!?! I hate you are going thru this but lets be happy that you can leave this in 2009..You have 2 whole days to make the decision and feel better about your 2010.
 
I'd bounce after I exhausted all other options. No one is going to ruin me physically, emotionally, nor psychologically. Especially a husband.
 
acooks143 said:
I Hope you are packing as you type? Maybe not?!?! I hate you are going thru this but lets be happy that you can leave this in 2009..You have 2 whole days to make the decision and feel better about your 2010.
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I know. Im sitting here pissed as I type because he lied to me about something today. This man ina pathological liar. What makes it so bad is that my kids are attached to him, my family thinks he's so wonderful and keep telling me to try to work it out. But I just can't take it anymore.
 
NYAmicas said:
I'd bounce after I exhausted all other options. No one is going to ruin me physically, emotionally, nor psychologically. Especially a husband.
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You're right. I recently went to the dermatologist and my hair is falling out due to stress.
 
There is no real relationship without TRUST.

Just remember if you chose to leave and divorce you will need to be very strong for yourself and your children, you may have to deal with the courts regarding custody, alimony, etc.

Have a plan or at least an idea of how you are going to proceed because divorce especially with someone who lies and is seemingly convincing and loved by kids and family is going to be a very messy and ugly situation.

Wishing and hoping the best for you.
 
i'm not married or anything but that sounds like a nightmare. there is nothing you can do... leave his lying butt. that would drive me insane. i am sorry you are going through this!
 
It does not matter what your family thinks. My family loves everyone and believe everything can be worked out but if they know how much it is effecting you how could they want you to stay??? Your kids also will understand as they get older. Trust me they know when you are stressing. I really loved my step father at one point too but when my mom began to take her frustrations out on us since she did not want to take them out on him I began to HATE him and her. They would much rather be in a peaceful HAppy household at the end of the day.

It is easier said then done but WOW you said your hair is falling out too?? Now you know here at LHCF we aint having that :( I say pack tonight.

mstaiti said:
I know. Im sitting here pissed as I type because he lied to me about something today. This man ina pathological liar. What makes it so bad is that my kids are attached to him, my family thinks he's so wonderful and keep telling me to try to work it out. But I just can't take it anymore.
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Love shouldn't hurt. We all go through it from time to time but this sounds like the rule, not the exception, in your house. Shed the baggage and start 2010 fresh. He's putting your spirit and your health in jeopardy. Its never worth it.
 
I say step your foot on the gas and no "hittin the brakes"...nu uh...you gotta start living for you and putting yourself back together...You gotta dig deep down and get that strength...if your tired then only you know what to do...if you have a support system...family, friends...now is time to hit your panic button and get on up out of there...once your health starts going your mind is soon to follow...he ain't worth all of what your probably going thru...look at the situations for what it is...(((hugs)))
 
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mstaiti said:
You're right. I recently went to the dermatologist and my hair is falling out due to stress.
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Oh hell no...you have to save yourself. Emotional strain wreaks havoc on our bodies and the hair may only be a sign of other physical tolls coming down the pike...pay attention to your gut and your body. Save yourself so that you can be there for your children and so that you can find happiness.
 
Don't let it get worse OP....I recall losing so much weight that I was weighing less than I did in high school at one point in my marriage. One day...I felt pain in my internal organs...I could feel my body shutting down. I wasn't a drinker, never smoked, had no chronic illnessess...it was all due to the emotional toll the marriage was taking on my mind and body. I knew I had to go and I think you also know what you have to do.
 
Ms Taiti

First off :bighug:to you for what you are dealing with...I am so sorry that you are in this place of having to decide what to do.

You need to be mentally healthy to decide what you need to do for you and your children, nothing else matters.The stress that this is putting you through is starting to affect your health and that is not good. Of course Fam will say oh he is a good man, but you know the real deal. And that is what is killing your spirit.

I do believe that our actions set an example for our children to follow. My mom wanted to leave my dad when I was younger but I didn't get why. When we finally did roll out with no furniture execpt my bedroom set and the prayer "God Will Provide" did I start to understand. In less than a year we had an apartment full of furniture instead of a bunk bed set & 2 dressers. In less than a month our lives became less stressful. In less than a day we had found the peace we so desperately needed. Because my mom showed me when enough is enough and I have to provide for my child I have to do something. The example she set allowed me to know when a relationship is bad for me to bounce.

You are lamenting spending four years filled with lies and deceit with this man and that was painful enough.


Imagine spending four years and ONE DAY MORE with this man.


You are burning daylight. You.need.to.get.out. For you and your children.
 
I would never tell another woman to leave her husband BUT when you decide you have had enough, you'll know what to do. {{hugs}} to you and I pray for you continued strength to do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your children.
 
"Break the cycle"; please leave him and start a new life for yourself and your kids. They shouldn't be raised in an environment like that and they are watching this man basically break you down. It will be 2010 tomorrow and maybe this is the change you need.
 
If he wasn't your husband, I'd swear on my life that you were talking about my son's father. 3 years ago I could have written that exact post..no lie. Obviously, it got to a point where I couldn't deal with the lies and straight out deceit anymore. The very last straw, after the birth of my son, is when I found pictures that he'd taken of his naked self in MY bed and sent them to God knows who..I recognized my sheets. My life has been so much richer and peaceful since the day I left him. It hurt terribly at first, couldn't imagine myself with him or him with anyone else, but now I can't imagine myself ever being with him again. That is a wonderful place to be and you'll get there to. Good luck and best wishes to you.
 
Smuckie_Slick said:
Don't let it get worse OP....I recall losing so much weight that I was weighing less than I did in high school at one point in my marriage. One day...I felt pain in my internal organs...I could feel my body shutting down. I wasn't a drinker, never smoked, had no chronic illnessess...it was all due to the emotional toll the marriage was taking on my mind and body. I knew I had to go and I think you also know what you have to do.
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That's true...our bodies will let us know what's up if we don't do anything to change our situations :nono:

mstaiti said:
Tons of proof and pictures, naked pics, etc.
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you...
 
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