I am highly annoyed. Does this happen to you?

[NuMe2004]

Originally Posted by spiceykitten
How many times is this topic/issue going to be brought up or discussed?

As many times as someone wants to address it and vent.

Thank you Nixx. I don't start threads often. I mainly try to show other people love and simply share pictures/updates. However, I had an experience today that I wanted to share/vent about, and I thought that this is what the board is for. Some have gone as far as to accuse me of wanting attention, but I was merely using the board for what it is for, which is to share information, whatever that may be.

I understand what many ladies are saying about how I should just "brush it off" and that some people may not find their questions offensive. However, I guess I should have gone more in depth with the issue. You see, it's not just a matter of a person asking a question and or giving a compliment, but it's also how people choose to treat you based on that answer and or supposition.

There have been discrepancies in how folks treat me and my sibs based on this very issue, and I'm tired of feeling like one is more favored because one possesses what is considered to be less African traits, or whatever you want to call it. As some of the ladies have said, this can be directed toward complexions as well as hair length.

 

[BeetleBug]

All I have to say is ... EVERYONE IS MIXED and there's no such thing as "blackness" or "whiteness". In other words, Black people are not limited to just dark skin, nappy hair, big lips, and wide noses... there are Black people with light skin, curly/wavy hair, thin lips, and narrow noses. Same with White folks....Race is something that was made up to keep people separated and divided and put into categories....power vs. powerlessness... superiority vs inferiority... Intermingling has gone on since the beginning of time. We can't get mad if someone ask us if we are mixed. It's not like being mixed is a bad thing. And we can't assume that the Black people who question our race have an issue with loving themselves. That's a bit extreme. They were just merely asking since most Black people (naively) do not know that we can have a variety of hair textures, skin colors, facial features, and body structures. We are all mixed up and diverse. Some people (unconsciously) do not know about the diversity of the Black race because of the social conditioning of society and the stereotypes that have been ingrained in the minds of people.

Agreeing 100%

 

[audacity.]

Unfort. it's part of the 'long hair game.' It comes with the territory for a lot of women.

I say, there is nothing you can do but get used to it. In addition to that you can 1. think of spicy retorts or 2. start educating every last grown person that say that to you (which is very unrealistic that you will change a person who was raised on those beliefs).

I know it sounds cliche but you got to let it roll off your back. In their own little way they are complimenting you (not the way I wold go about it but still). Just say "I will take the long hair part as a compliment." And keep it moving. There is not enough time in the day to be upset and "sad" about the state of Black Americans from a few people here and there's comments.

DANG, LOCKS!!! THERE YOU GO TAKING WORDS RIGHT OUTTA MY MOUTH AGAIN!

ITA with the bolded, ESPECIALLY with the red!

I also agree that there is MUCH self-hatred in our community, and that, in conjuntion with the MISeducation, IMO, is why so many of us think like that (we gotta be mixed to be pretty or have long hair...)

I'm through!

ETA: Don't let other people's ignorance get the best of you., NuMe. I understand and empathize with you.

NOW, I'm through!!!

 

[thiccknlong]

Ladies, I just want to be fair. You dont see many black ladies with their own natural, long hair. And usually the darker we are, the shorter or thinner or more textured the hair is. You do see mixed ppl with their natural hair that is very long. And usually curly or wavy. Usually the lighter, the thicker, longer and less textured the hair.

This is why ppl ask you these questions. because it is almost a proven way of hour things are. Things are changing, because we all take care of our hair better, so the darker girls are getting longer, thicker hair. Some light girls have shorter, thinner hair. The races are mixing and sometimes you end up with things that are not the norm.

Point is, that is how things have been.

Now for someone to ask you that, is the issue.

 

[coconow2007]

Its sad but lots of folks believe the stereotypes and even we as black women do - that we cant grow hair, that our features arent pretty enough all sorts of nonsense

 

[spiceykitten]

All I have to say is ... EVERYONE IS MIXED and there's no such thing as "blackness" or "whiteness". In other words, Black people are not limited to just dark skin, nappy hair, big lips, and wide noses... there are Black people with light skin, curly/wavy hair, thin lips, and narrow noses. Same with White folks....Race is something that was made up to keep people separated and divided and put into categories....power vs. powerlessness... superiority vs inferiority... Intermingling has gone on since the beginning of time. We can't get mad if someone ask us if we are mixed. It's not like being mixed is a bad thing. And we can't assume that the Black people who question our race have an issue with loving themselves. That's a bit extreme. They were just merely asking since most Black people (naively) do not know that we can have a variety of hair textures, skin colors, facial features, and body structures. We are all mixed up and diverse. Some people (unconsciously) do not know about the diversity of the Black race because of the social conditioning of society and the stereotypes that have been ingrained in the minds of people.

Such intelligence I have always appreciated your sensible posts. I wish I could read more posts like yours. Ps. I did try to respond to you but your mailbox was full

 

[tsturnbu]

ya know, when my hair was short, no one ever asked me if i had "indian" in my family. now, that my hair is longer, ppl ask me if indian runs in my family. i think that is so sily. My hair is far from straight, or silky. it just has length. i am 100% 4a/b, and nothing about me(including looks) looks indian. unfortunately, i guess some ppl still think that u cant be pure african american or caribbean american with long hair.

also, in response to pooh bear's post....of course we are mixed, however, just because my great grandmother may have been white, native american, etc, i would not consider or categorize myself as mixed...simply because those traits are physically non existent in me and not representative of who i am. maybe, if my parents or grandparents were of a certain heritage...maybe.

 

[spiceykitten]

ya know, when my hair was short, no one ever asked me if i had "indian" in my family. now, that my hair is longer, ppl ask me if indian runs in my family. i think that is so sily. My hair is far from straight, or silky. it just has length. i am 100% 4a/b, and nothing about me(including looks) looks indian. unfortunately, i guess some ppl still think that u cant be pure african american or caribbean american with long hair.

also, in response to pooh bear's post....of course we are mixed, however, just because my great grandmother may have been white, native american, etc, i would not consider or categorize myself as mixed...simply because those traits are physically non existent in me and not representative of who i am. maybe, if my parents or grandparents were of a certain heritage...maybe.

I am surprised to read this comment because no one denies in the Caribbean that there was a lot of mixing going on. It also a proven fact that some Caribbean countries that do not have a Latin base have more mixed people than some with a Latin base. However, if anyone studied history they would know that Caribbean and Latin people are all one people that have been crossing borders for some time. Yet, this is another topic.

Now, as far as Pooh's intelligent post. I know she did not mean that anyone should categorize themselves as mixed because of a great, great etc but she writes the truth whether anyone wants to accept it or not. Some genes present themselves in later generations and some do not. I see this in my own family and in my family on both sides we are everything under the sun. God bless my mighty second homeland beyond the US.

Even a lot of white people are mixed in the States, and some do not even know it.

This topic so annoys me because it is brought up many times..just like the skin issue. I guess it annoys me because I was not brought up this way. Skin color, hair length, or whether a black man would want me was never an issue in my family or with my friends. I never knew this side of black culture until I started reading things at this hair forum.

I am so glad I was not exposed to this for majority of my life because I think I would be messed up because I am utterly confused and often disgusted with some posts. Perhaps, it is my lack of exposure to black culture or perhaps because I was brought up that I am beautiful, intelligent, and no color is better than me and I am not better than another color, race, or ethnic group.

I grew up hearing that I was royal princess and hearing this over and over again, I believed it and still believe it. So to discuss how much black blood I have, how long my hair is etc was not an issue nor am I shocked when people ask me what I am or look in amazement when I take my hair down. I just think, girl if I took you back home you would see many beauties like me with long hair: some dark, some light etc.. My life growing up was more how can I increase my mind and be just as beautiful inside as I was on the outside. A topic like this and others never cross my mind. I was dreaming of seeing the world, how much smarter I could get etc

 

[Babydall818]

I get that all the time.. but well my family does have a lot of diff things in us, but as for the hair.. everyones really varies. I really just think there isn't a pure race. Everyones mixed up somehow.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

A quick history lessen and it's easy to see why. You have a society where for generations all the positive qualities are assigned to one race, beauty, intelligence, proper English, money, class, etc. Anything associated with black was usually deemed as negative or less than. If someone speaks "proper" English they talk white, if someone has long, beautiful hair then they are mixed. Most ppl don't realize the proven effect that consistent imagery can have on the thinking of invididuals.

I've had stylists who've seen me with inches and inches of KINKY 4B hair tell me that I have "good" or "wavy" hair when they themselves are looking down and ripping through my tangled negro roots. That's how deep the sickness runs.

 

[Babydall818]

Plus all our ancestors orginate from AFrica. The cradle of life, but as some went north to Europe, they lost the melanin which means they got lighter...and their noses became ones with smaller nostrils. Whereas, african americans and people from hotter climates need bigger nostrils to get more oxygen into their bodies.

We are all one race - we've just evolved differently.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I am so glad I was not exposed to this for majority of my life because I think I would be messed up because I am utterly confused and often disgusted with some posts. Perhaps, it is my lack of exposure to black culture or perhaps because I was brought up that I am beautiful, intelligent, and no color is better than me and I am not better than another color, race, or ethnic group.

I grew up hearing that I was royal princess and hearing this over and over again, I believed it and still believe it. So to discuss how much black blood I have, how long my hair is etc was not an issue nor am I shocked when people ask me what I am or look in amazement when I take my hair down. I just think, girl if I took you back home you would see many beauties like me with long hair: some dark, some light etc.. My life growing up was more how can I increase my mind and be just as beautiful inside as I was on the outside. A topic like this and others never cross my mind. I was dreaming of seeing the world, how much smarter I could get etc

You are very lucky and blessed to be protected from it
It's unfortunate that any country touched by slavery or colonization has the color issue. When the British left the Caribbean they left the lightest black ppl in control, that automatically creates a hierarchy of skincolor like in America when they let the light black ppl work in the house, which again creates a divide.

My immediate family didn't care about skin color or any of that stupidness, but I was very aware of it because amongst the rest of the Caribbean community it was understood that class and color were connected. I've heard countless older ppl lecture young woman that they weren't to bring home anyone of a lower class or a darker complexion unless you were already very light. My family considered themselves "upperclass" so they would never say bluntly that XYZ is better than XYZ, but it was the little unspoken things. It's the extra attention given to the light baby or the the many times you hear that your great, great, great, so and so was Irish, or the fact that the light girls heard how pretty they were more often than the darker ones or the aunt that marveled at how lucky XYZ was to have "good" hair. The black community at large whether it's Latin America, America or the Caribbean still have color issues. The Caribbean newspaper in my neighborhood features a giant swimsuit layout with only a white model in each issue, both it and the African stores carry a bunch of "light and pretty" skin bleaching creams. It's all sad.

Another place that has a serious color cast system is India, believed by many to be a result of the colonization by the British. Some of my dark Indian friends were told they would be the last to be married because the arranged marriages would go to the "fair" girls first. Last week my BFF (indian) was approached by a random Indian mother who wanted her to meet her son because she was "light skinned".

I hope by looking into our history and being open we can fix this issue. There is nothing more ridiculous than associating skincolor with ones level of attractiveness or worth.

 

[Miss*Tress]

Next time someone says you have nice hair just say i take good care of it.

Many black people attribute long hair to ethnic origins and genetics because it lets the ones with short hair off the hook, i.e. "she has long, healthy hair because she's mixed" and not "her hair is like mine and she takes care of it, so if I take care of mine it will be nicer too". Few women (besides us) want to put the time and effort towards reaching their hair goals and most times they don't want to hear about it either. Many threads have been started on that very same topic too.

So all mixing, compliment-seeking or lack thereof notwithstanding, my hair would not be as long and healthy today if I hadn't learned proper hair care techniques from this board and applied them on a consistent basis for the past 2 1/2 years. I tell black women anyone of us can have longer and healthier hair with time and care. That's about the limit to my educating them. My origins determined my curl pattern, but have absolutely nothing to do with the current state of my hair.

 

[sylver2]

i go thru this every single day. If I'm not getting bombarded by the Ethiopians, its the east indians or some other group. Then our own who refuses to believe me. Just yesterday 2 guys go 'what r u'. I'm black(said with attitude'. They laughed and said yeh but your not a thorobred black(what the hell does that mean)..anyway..
Me and ArmyQt had to tell one Ethipion about himself. He asked if this was my hair. I said yes..why did u ask me that? He asked my ethnicity..I said its black..now why did u ask if this was my hair??He says I don't see many black woman with hairrolleyes:

 

[missnappylady]

I just have to say.. not everyone is mixed. I know I'm not.

 

[spiceykitten]

You are very lucky and blessed to be protected from it
It's unfortunate that any country touched by slavery or colonization has the color issue. When the British left the Caribbean they left the lightest black ppl in control, that automatically creates a hierarchy of skincolor like in America when they let the light black ppl work in the house, which again creates a divide.

My immediate family didn't care about skin color or any of that stupidness, but I was very aware of it because amongst the rest of the Caribbean community it was understood that class and color were connected. I've heard countless older ppl lecture young woman that they weren't to bring home anyone of a lower class or a darker complexion unless you were already very light. My family considered themselves "upperclass" so they would never say bluntly that XYZ is better than XYZ, but it was the little unspoken things. It's the extra attention given to the light baby or the the many times you hear that your great, great, great, so and so was Irish, or the fact that the light girls heard how pretty they were more often than the darker ones or the aunt that marveled at how lucky XYZ was to have "good" hair. The black community at large whether it's Latin America, America or the Caribbean still have color issues. The Caribbean newspaper in my neighborhood features a giant swimsuit layout with only a white model in each issue, both it and the African stores carry a bunch of "light and pretty" skin bleaching creams. It's all sad.

Another place that has a serious color cast system is India, believed by many to be a result of the colonization by the British. Some of my dark Indian friends were told they would be the last to be married because the arranged marriages would go to the "fair" girls first. Last week my BFF (indian) was approached by a random Indian mother who wanted her to meet her son because she was "light skinned".

I hope by looking into our history and being open we can fix this issue. There is nothing more ridiculous than associating skincolor with ones level of attractiveness or worth.

I am Guyanese as you know. We are not a majority black country. We have more Indians than black. In addition, even though we are apart of the Carib community we are also a South American country, which brings its own set of uniqueness that only Guyanese people can understand.

Yes, I am very aware of the dark and light indian caste system. Yet, this was not an issue with my family.

The only time color was an issue was with my father's family. They are mostly mulattos and albinos. My mother messed up the pot when she came long. Yet, my father could not resist the power of her dark skin and long hair. What power, my mummy possessd in her younger days.


Overall, I really never had this kind of drama. I was always treated like a princess and taught I was a princess. I never got into skin color or hair texture until I started socializing with blacks. I think if I had children I would do the same as I was raised because I think this kind of knowledge I am exposed to now cannot be healthy for a child. I am finding it unhealthy as an adult. I am going to keep my royal kingdom in tact.

 

[chica_canella]

I find it very upsetting that people still think that you have to be mixed to have long hair. Does anyone question your blackness just because you have luscious locs?

I just came back from visiting a new stylist today, and she kept commenting on how thick and nice my hair is. She was telling me about all the mixed people in her family, and then asked me what I was mixed with. I said, "Black and black." She was then like, "No way, you must have some other blood in you, like Indian." Now, my great great grandparents were native American, but I'm still black. I think it's been proven many times, esp. on this board, that we too can have long, luscious hair if we simply take care of it.

A similar situation happened to me not too long ago. I was at a party and was introduced to some people. One of the ladies I met said, "You're so cute. Are you mixed with anything?" So, I have to be mixed to be cute????!!!

I'm not dissing any mixed people on this board. If you're mixed, that's great. But why is it that so many of us feel that we have to be mixed to be attractive or have long hair?? I guess all these music videos promoting the more "exotic" looking women has really messed with our heads. I'm just wondering why we can't get love for being 100% African American.

Sorry this is so long. I just had to vent y'all.

People like that are misinformed. It is almost like you don't want to acknowledge your grandfather because if you do, then people will assume that is the reason your hair is this way or that.

But people are going to believe you or not, especially if it is deeply in them.

 

[chica_canella]

Geez.....and there it goes again. A lighter skin black person's experiences aren't validated on here, what just because they aren't full black?

I swear, that is how some of you act on here.

Maybe you are the ones that think it should be a compliment to be considered light or mixed? No one said that. You did because you probably think so subconciously. So, you want to say that all light skin or mixed women think that.

She was just frustrated with the fact that this happens and wanted to know if anyone else identified with her situation. But I bet if a darker skin black women or a "real" black women as some of you say came on here talking about someone saying something ignorant to her, you would be advocating that convo. What about people who say, "Oh, I hate to hear, 'you are pretty to be darkskin'" That could be seen as fishing for compliments too but wait, it isn't, just because they are dark.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I am Guyanese as you know. We are not a majority black country. We have more Indians than black. In addition, even though we are apart of the Carib community we are also a South American country, which brings its own set of uniqueness that only Guyanese people can understand.

Yes, I am very aware of the dark and light indian caste system. Yet, this was not an issue with my family.

The only time color was an issue was with my father's family. They are mostly mulattos and albinos. My mother messed up the pot when she came long. Yet, my father could not resist the power of her dark skin and long hair. What power, my mummy possessd in her younger days.


Overall, I really never had this kind of drama. I was always treated like a princess and taught I was a princess. I never got into skin color or hair texture until I started socializing with blacks. I think if I had children I would do the same as I was raised because I think this kind of knowledge I am exposed to now cannot be healthy for a child. I am finding it unhealthy as an adult. I am going to keep my royal kingdom in tact.

You're right, when I was there it was more Indian-guyanese, but you could see all the mixing. It's beautiful
Statistically Guyana is about 39% Afro-guyanese and the rest East Indian/Asian/etc.. I think you're right to protect your children from the stupidness of skincolor and the caste system. The only time it's relivent is when understanding the history or the behavior of others.

Speaking of this whole issue, I had read this article earlier because my cousin and I are going to Guyana in August and she was telling me about the civil war/racial war that almost occurred. I had no idea the history of the island was so fascinating and heart breaking reading about how the Indians and Blacks were brought to the Island as indentured slaves. I remember that last time I was there I was so in love with the culture and the blending of so many races and such. I can't wait to go back.
You probably know all this stuff already, but you might finding it interesting Guyana Article

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Geez.....and there it goes again. A lighter skin black person's experiences aren't validated on here, what just because they aren't full black?

I swear, that is how some of you act on here.

Maybe you are the ones that think it should be a compliment to be considered light or mixed? No one said that. You did because you probably think so subconciously. So, you want to say that all light skin or mixed women think that.

She was just frustrated with the fact that this happens and wanted to know if anyone else identified with her situation. But I bet if a darker skin black women or a "real" black women as some of you say came on here talking about someone saying something ignorant to her, you would be advocating that convo. What about people who say, "Oh, I hate to hear, 'you are pretty to be darkskin'" That could be seen as fishing for compliments too but wait, it isn't, just because they are dark.

I kinda have to agree. Why is everyone so offended that she's not taking it as a compliment. We don't know her racial background, maybe she knows that her bloodline is fairly unmixed (minus great, great grand daddy) or whatever. If she doesn't consider herself mixed enough to merit people asking her if she's mixed then so be it. I don't understand why this is such a big deal, she was sharing a pet peeve and people are trying to argue that she's mixed, may look mixed, must be mixed, etc. etc. etc. we haven't seen her picture, we don't know what she looks like.

Yes, this topic gets brought up often, but if you don't like it then keep moving. It's not that big of a deal, she's irritated that people assume she's mixed simply because of her long hair, so what!? She never insulted mixed people, non mixed people, purple people, green people, so why is everyone getting all upset. If some chick posted that she has long hair because her great, great, great, great grand daddy was a quarter Indian everyone on here would be offended, the OP is doing the complete opposite and she's getting flack. Maybe the OP knows that the questions only come as a result of her hair, who knows. It's not that serious people.

In addition, not everyone is mixed in the notable sense. We all come from one race, we're all the same. However in the understood definition of "race" there are still people on this planet that have a fairly unmixed bloodlines. Let's all just calm down and back away from the keyboard

 

[spiceykitten]

You're right, when I was there it was more Indian-guyanese, but you could see all the mixing. It's beautiful
Statistically Guyana is about 39% Afro-guyanese and the rest East Indian/Asian/etc.. I think you're right to protect your children from the stupidness of skincolor and the caste system. The only time it's relivent is when understanding the history or the behavior of others.

Speaking of this whole issue, I had read this article earlier because my cousin and I are going to Guyana in August and she was telling me about the civil war/racial war that almost accured. I had no idea the history of the island was so fascinating. I remember that last time I was there I was so in love with the culture and the blending of so many races and such.
You probably know all this stuff already, but you might finding it interesting Guyana Article

To be Guyanese, is to have a unique experience. I think we are one of the most beautiful people on this earth.

We are not an island. We are actually the only country part of the Carib community. Most people do not know that.

Girl, most time when Guyanese people get in a huff is during election time. There is a lot of emphasis put on Afro and Indo Guyanese issues and there are issues but let me just say...when there is genocide..maybe we should start crying. You loved it when you were there? Okay, point made.

Overall, I am not going to say anything bad about my second homeland. America is my country but I consider Guyana to be the land of my people no matter its strife or bad sides. I am not going to put my people down.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

To be Guyanese, is to have a unique experience. I think we are one of the most beautiful people on this earth.

We are not an island. We are actually the only country part of the Carib community. Most people do not know that.

Girl, most time when Guyanese people get in a huff is during election time. There is a lot of emphasis put on Afro and Indo Guyanese issues and there are issues but let me just say...when there is genocide..maybe we should start crying. You loved it when you were there? Okay, point made.

Overall, I am not going to say anything bad about my second homeland. America is my country but I consider Guyana to be the land of my people no matter its strife or bad sides. I am not going to put my people down.

Oh yes, I definitely had a good time, but I'm biased because I LOVE visiting the Caribbean/Latin America. I did notice the color issues, but I expect/experience that in any Latin/Caribbean country or island that was previously colonized or touched by slavery. Humans need to just realize that we have more in common then apart and no one is better than anyone else.

I can't wait to go back (my cousin is Guyanese), we are staying for 1 week and then we're going to Europe. Thanks for sharing that tidbit about Guyana, the country!

Anyway, it's way too late and I need to get rest for my hair appt tomorrow

 

[spiceykitten]

Oh yes, I definitely had a good time, but I'm biased because I LOVE visiting the Caribbean/Latin America. I did notice the color issues, but I expect/experience that in any Latin/Caribbean country or island that was previously colonized or touched by slavery. Humans need to just realize that we have more in common then apart and no one is better than anyone else.

I can't wait to go back (my cousin is Guyanese), we are staying for 1 week and then we're going to Europe. Thanks for sharing that tidbit about Guyana, the country!

Anyway, it's way too late and I need to get rest for my hair appt tomorrow

Your welcome, and your going to one of my favorite continents. I go to Europe often. I have been going for the past three years. I hope to go to a new continent next year...I am all Europe out. My SO would unhappy to hear that but it is true

I need to rest to work tomorrow but tonight/early has been so interesting and entertaining.

Oh, since you got a cousin that is Guyanese. Princess Spiceykitten gives you honorary rights to be considered a Honorary GT Gyal. Welcome to the beautiful royal kingdom.

 

[chica_canella]

I kinda have to agree. Why is everyone so offended that she's not taking it as a compliment. We don't know her racial background, maybe she knows that her bloodline is fairly unmixed (minus great, great grand daddy) or whatever. If she doesn't consider herself mixed enough to merit people asking her if she's mixed then so be it. I don't understand why this is such a big deal, she was sharing a pet peeve and people are trying to argue that she's mixed, may look mixed, must be mixed, etc. etc. etc. we haven't seen her picture, we don't know what she looks like.

Yes, this topic gets brought up often, but if you don't like it then keep moving. It's not that big of a deal, she's irritated that people assume she's mixed simply because of her long hair, so what!? She never insulted mixed people, non mixed people, purple people, green people, so why is everyone getting all upset. If some chick posted that she has long hair because her great, great, great, great grand daddy was a quarter Indian everyone on here would be offended, the OP is doing the complete opposite and she's getting flack. Maybe the OP knows that the questions only come as a result of her hair, who knows. It's not that serious people.

In addition, not everyone is mixed in the notable sense. We all come from one race, we're all the same. However in the understood definition of "race" there are still people on this planet that have a fairly unmixed bloodlines. Let's all just calm down and back away from the keyboard

I agree with you but it seems like the same posters come on here comlaining, "Woe is me, to be dark in America." Like when someone said 50 cents baby muva was unattractive. This lady went off like, "Oh, it's cause she's dark and not light skin with long hair." I mean seriously, it gets tired after a while. I haven't lived in anyone's shoes but mine but when someone automatically jumps to conclusions or claims somone is fishing for compliments, it personally irks me. That's like people pulling the race card all the time, only now it is the "color" card. I swear, I am trying to be objective.

 

[chica_canella]

To be Guyanese, is to have a unique experience. I think we are one of the most beautiful people on this earth.

We are not an island. We are actually the only country part of the Carib community. Most people do not know that.

Girl, most time when Guyanese people get in a huff is during election time. There is a lot of emphasis put on Afro and Indo Guyanese issues and there are issues but let me just say...when there is genocide..maybe we should start crying. You loved it when you were there? Okay, point made.

Overall, I am not going to say anything bad about my second homeland. America is my country but I consider Guyana to be the land of my people no matter its strife or bad sides. I am not going to put my people down.

Great post. I love it, especially the last unity part!

 

[spiceykitten]

Great post. I love it, especially the last unity part!

I am real down about unity. I could have a Guyanese person treat me wrong but I am not going to down my people in front of others.

I learned something from my childhood best friend. I remember when her husband got her teeth done by a dentist who destroyed some of his teeth. I was so crazy and asking why don't they sue? She said he is Korean and Koreans do not put each other down. If he goes down, it is one less of us in a struggle to succeed. I found this statement and on another level.

I also had a Guyanese guy tell me. I am so happy when I hear another Guyanese person doing well. He said, when one of us does well it makes us better as a people. I am down with this type of mentality.

 

[chica_canella]

I am real down about unity. I could have a Guyanese person treat me wrong but I am not going to down my people in front of others.

I learned something from my childhood best friend. I remember when her husband got her teeth done by a dentist who destroyed some of his teeth. I was so crazy and asking why don't they sue? She said he is Korean and Koreans do not put each other down. If he goes down, it is one less of us in a struggle to succeed. I found this statement and on another level.

I also had a Guyanese guy tell me. I am so happy when I hear another Guyanese person doing well. He said, when one of us does well it makes us better as a people. I am down with this type of mentality.

Yes, I completely agree. This is a great way to think. And you know what other race does this, well I know you aren't a race but nationality. Anyhow, white people do this often. you will see a white person acting an all out fool but you won't see another white person downing them or atleast not in public.

So, do you do this with African-Americans too or no since you aren't one?

 

[spiceykitten]

Yes, I completely agree. This is a great way to think. And you know what other race does this, well I know you aren't a race but nationality. Anyhow, white people do this often. you will see a white person acting an all out fool but you won't see another white person downing them or atleast not in public.

So, do you do this with African-Americans too or no since you aren't one?[/quote]

Nationality or ethnic group. I am a Guyanese American.

Chica, I will be honest. No but my answer is not entirely true either. So let me explain. I have never had a close AA friend. I had one in childhood but she is dead and culture differences seperated us. It became more obvious as we matured.

Yet,there is a difference between my people and others. There is also a difference between not putting my people down and having someone's back always. Let me further explain.

I will not put my people down but at the same time I do not make a habit of putting others down either. I think every color, race, and ethnic group beyond white people are in the struggle together. I see unity on this level. Every race beyond white has been invaded and stripped by the white man idealogies. The white man purposely put us against each other so we cannot stand strong as people of color or nonwhites. Thus, I see my unity with AA in this way.

I am not going to give into the white man idealogies by attacking another non white. I keep this in the back of mind always.


However, I would like to have a stronger bond with AA but I feel AA are very complex and make relationships a bit too difficult. Most AA are not as open minded on certain subjects. It is either black or white. This may not be entirely true but this has been my experience.

If I felt a bond or more accepted by AA I would "ride and/or die" with them in a second. I hope this concept "ride and/or die" is correct. I have learned so much from LHCF!

Yet, I will also say that any person I befriend AA, white etc...if we develop a bond I will "ride and/or die" with them no matter what. I will not put down my people but if you are my friend and I mean friend than you are apart of my world so even if you are AA I got your back. Not putting down my people and having your back is two entirely different components.

It takes a lot for me to call anyone a friend. Friendship is something that takes time to mature. I take baby steps like I am courting or something. I must really like you to want a friendship with you because a friend for me is "ride and/or die" relationship..that is unless you disrespect me.

 

[Poohbear]

I just have to say.. not everyone is mixed. I know I'm not.

I think you missed my point when I said everyone is mixed. I'm not saying everyone is mixed with Black and White... I'm saying that everyone is mixed up with different genes and traits and that we are all diverse in many ways. Black and White are just terms that were created to put people into categories based on common traits. However, not every Black person is going to have dark skin and nappy hair. Most people in the US identify themselves as Black or White and have no clue about their ancestry or bloodline. That's what I'm saying.

 

[Poohbear]

Thank you Nixx. I don't start threads often. I mainly try to show other people love and simply share pictures/updates. However, I had an experience today that I wanted to share/vent about, and I thought that this is what the board is for. Some have gone as far as to accuse me of wanting attention, but I was merely using the board for what it is for, which is to share information, whatever that may be.

I understand what many ladies are saying about how I should just "brush it off" and that some people may not find their questions offensive. However, I guess I should have gone more in depth with the issue. You see, it's not just a matter of a person asking a question and or giving a compliment, but it's also how people choose to treat you based on that answer and or supposition.

There have been discrepancies in how folks treat me and my sibs based on this very issue, and I'm tired of feeling like one is more favored because one possesses what is considered to be less African traits, or whatever you want to call it. As some of the ladies have said, this can be directed toward complexions as well as hair length.

Well peep this NuMe2004...

Before discovering LHCF, I thought all Black women relaxed their hair and that all Black women had what Andre's system considers type 4a/b hair. If I had seen you before finding out that Black women could have a range of hair textures and before realizing that everyone is mixed with different traits and genes, I would have thought you were either non-black or mixed as well. It would have been mere ignorance/naivety on my part, not necessarily self-hate.

And about people treating you as more favored, I never favored looser hair textures or lighter complexions more than kinkier textures or dark complexions, so I can't relate to that. I'm just wondering, how do you know these people who question your race/ethnicity are favoring you more than people who do not have your hair texture and complexion? Is it just a feeling that you have, or have these people actually expressed wanting your hair and complexion???