I am going to keep/start relaxing

[MummysGirl]

I'm transitioning but still have A LOT of relaxed ends... this video really helped me learn how to achieve a nice twisout.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYKugFF04jI

Proud relaxer since my teens and plan on staying that way. I'm totally part of the DIY crowd and will be relaxing in a short while after a 3 month stretch.

Anyone have a good twistout on relaxed hair YT vid? I have braidouts down pat good enough but havent had a successful relaxer since my profile pic.

 

[SmartyPants]

You guys should look thru the "Embracing Natural Hair" thread for laughs. Many naturals fought the good fight for y'all. There's proof positive that most of us here ain't on that Nappturality tip. I honestly considered starting a post for relaxed heads cuz for awhile there they were all buried under stupid "Natural...?" threads, but I was concerned it wouldn't be taken in the spirit it was meant. Anyway...alls well that ends well.

Yeah... I thought Iris was about to set it off in there!

 

[SmartyPants]

Thank you for this thread!! As a relaxed head I too was starting to feel like a minority on this board!! I have been stretching for 12 weeks at a time...currently I'm at 10 weeks post and I think I'm going to try and extend it to 16 weeks. My main protective style is a sew in weave I wash once a week and moisturize everyday! I will be a relaxer indefinitely!

I am trying for an 8-9 month stretch for an event in May. After that I am going to dial it back to 17-18 week stretches so I can relax 3 times a year.

 

[30something]

I'm going to keep relaxing for a very long time. My first stretch (never made it past 9 weeks) and I fell in love with my new growth. At the 3 months mark I just had this strong urge to relaxed even tho my stretch was going fine. From that I realize that I'm happy with my relaxed hair so why should I change it.

 

[Kellum]

Thanks OP for starting this thread. It was really needed!!

 

[jamaraa]

Back in the day (2003), the majority, in my opinion, was relaxed. It seems in recent years, the trend towards natural has increased.

I think we see many women on this board or youtube transition successfully with beautiful curly hair. Women are on this board for many reasons and mainly because we truly love and enjoy our hair (and seeing others).

So, I think it is a "natural" curiosity and/or desire to want to see those beautiful curls on your own head. Then, certain folks (me) become torn with transitioning but unable to let go of my length.

It strokes the ego when my stylist (white girl but she's good) makes a show of my hair at the shop or when dh and family comment on how long and healthy it is.

But this thread has really hit home and I'm thankful the OP stepped out and started it.

The majority of the members here are STILL relaxed heads. Many of them simply post less frequently (and aggressively, I might add) these days. It's just like in real life, they are the majority. If they all left, we'd be a much smaller site than it may seem.

There are dedicated sites to the celebration of natural hair specifically, plenty of stuff on YouTube, but this site ain't one of them. This is allegedly a site about growing long hair, but we constantly get 80-11 threads about cutting it (ie the big chop)? That's not respecting the space, IMHO.

Nappturality would never allow or tolerate the reverse to take place because their site has a specific goal and audience...they make members respect the space or leave.

 

[jamaraa]

NO worries Jamaraa, in January I gotchu lol....I hope.

Fine4s I didn't know you are a relaxed head too. What do you use cuz it looks great on you?!

ETA...OK. I see you're a natural. Congrats on almost being at your goal. Let us know when you feel you're fully there (I think you are now, but...). :woohoo:

 

[mnemosyne]

The majority of the members here are STILL relaxed heads. Many of them simply post less frequently (and aggressively, I might add) these days. It's just like in real life, they are the majority. If they all left, we'd be a much smaller site than it may seem.

There are dedicated sites to the celebration of natural hair specifically, plenty of stuff on YouTube, but this site ain't one of them. This is allegedly a site about growing long hair, but we constantly get 80-11 threads about cutting it (ie the big chop)? That's not respecting the space, IMHO.

Nappturality would never allow or tolerate the reverse to take place because their site has a specific goal and audience...they make members respect the space or leave.

People do the big chop to restart their long hair journey as a natural without having to deal with two textures. I wouldn't say this is necessarily against the theme of the site. There's still the promise of future growth to come.

For some their journey might start one way end up another. Just because when you go relaxed from natural you don't have to cut off the hair doesn't mean it's pro LHCF or that cutting hair to be natural is anti.

Also I'd agree that the majority of members are probably relaxed. If they want to be more vocal about it they can. =)

 

[mahogany_horizons]

I'm also a grad student, but my hair is natural. I'm ready for a relaxer to smooth these curls. When I'm not writing papers and reading I'm trying to cut through these curls. Its way to much now. Now more wash and go since its getting cold out.

India

Hey India, forgot to mention that I was also married and work full time as well Yeah, I am soooo busy. Reading and writing papers. You KNOW THE GRIND. I just don't have time to spend hours, and hours upon hours fooling with my head. And so relaxers work for me, they make my hair easier to manage for me. That may not be the case for everyone. And I love some of the natural heads I see on here! Only you know what works best for you

 

[Aggie]

I'm glad to see this thread also. I recently made the decision to try to pursue natural. Since I have already reached waist length relaxed, this is not an easy thought/transition to pursue.

I've always wanted long hair and have had it now for the past 2 years. This was a goal I thought would never happen but it did...so why give it all up just to be natural. I need to stay out of natural hair youtube videos. I am so torn. I am feigning for a relaxer since I am 10 weeks post.

If push comes to shove, then this will be my start to stretching for several months.

I TRULY admire everyone that is dead set on staying relaxed. This thread shows how relaxed women are bold and confident with their decisions to do things their own way. I really love it and it motivates me.

Hmmm, I know if I had waist length relaxed hair, transitioning to anything else would not even enter into my vocabulary unless of course my hair grew from neck length to waist length in one year. That is the only way I would consider transition.

 

[mahogany_horizons]

Hmmm, I know if I had waist length relaxed hair, transitioning to anything else would not even enter into my vocabulary unless of course my hair grew from neck length to waist length in one year. That is the only way I would consider transition.

I heard that Aggie!

 

[DecemberBaby]

Wow! This thread is growing by leaps and bounds, every time i come through here there's another 10 pages!

I use ORS Lye, i had some burning with it the first time and since then i've just been really careful to base my scalp properly before applying it. Haven't had more than a little tingle since.

Even when I base my scalp, it still burns. But I love the results so I keep using it.

 

[Aggie]

Wow! This thread is growing by leaps and bounds, every time i come through here there's another 10 pages!

I use ORS Lye, i had some burning with it the first time and since then i've just been really careful to base my scalp properly before applying it. Haven't had more than a little tingle since.

Me too, I don't get burns anymore either because I carefully and generously base my scalp now.

 

[Aggie]

I will keep relaxing 2-3 times a year.
the past couple of years i didn't really wear my hair straight much, but for now going back to straight. resting from the braidouts for awhile. so back to using heat 1-2 times a month
i've found a good balance with my protein and moisture. i use keraphix or aphogee 2 min reconstructor twice a month. regular deep condition twice a month. the hardcore protein before each touchup 2-3 times a year.
my hair really hates being airdried. i keep trying but it's not for me.
i bought a pibbs bootleg dryer and will soon start rollersetting. my hair thrives off rollersetting. just takes like an hour to rollerset it..lol.
i really love being relaxed!!!!!!!

Looking at your Avi quote and all I can think of is "Say it loud - I'm relaxed and I'm proud!".

 

[changedname]

Thank you, thank you, thank you OP for starting this thread! I was seriously starting to feel like a minority around here! And with all of the anti-relaxed threads being started around here I was visiting less often and I did consider leaving the site altogether. It's great to finally have some support here and see some beautiful relaxed heads of hair.

I'm relaxed and proud, no and I repeat no intentions to go natural. Currently growing out a pixie cut but hair is full, shiny and healthy.

 

[Aggie]

Even though I'm not relaxed, I enjoyed reading this thread. I too have noticed the overabundance of naturals on this message board, and know that it does not reflect real life at all---most black women straighten their hair. I never thought that perhaps many of the women with relaxers felt unwelcomed here because of the way some naturals view those with relaxers. I would love to see more pics/updates from the relaxed heads too.

Thank you so much CelinaStarr. Perhaps you are one of the supportive naturals I spoke about in an earlier thread. We will try to update more with pics but you must understand that because we have felt unwelcomed, we had, or at least I have had little desire to share pics and that is why I put them in my fotki album instead.

 

[charmtreese]

Oooops posted in the wrong thread!!! Sorry, carry on ladies!!!!

 

[Aggie]

I'm going to keep relaxing for a very long time. My first stretch (never made it past 9 weeks) and I fell in love with my new growth. At the 3 months mark I just had this strong urge to relaxed even tho my stretch was going fine. From that I realize that I'm happy with my relaxed hair so why should I change it.

I get this urge a lot too even when I make a goal of stretching longer than usual. This is how I know I was meant to be a relaxed head and most likely will be one for life.

 

[Tafa01]

Can someone suggest a good leave in for a relaxed head that doesn't leave the hair all sticky and hard?


ETA: Whoops, I hope we can also ask questions in this thread!

sure!! this thread is for support and tips

 

[Tafa01]

Thanks so much! Also what is BKT?

Brazilian Keratin treatment. they are several threads about it

 

[jupitermoon]

Thank you so much CelinaStarr. Perhaps you are one of the supportive naturals I spoke about in an earlier thread. We will try to update more with pics but you must understand that because we have felt unwelcomed, we had, or at least I have had little desire to share pics and that is why I put them in my fotki album instead.

I won't lie, at the beginning of my natural hair jouney I was one of those strict naturals that hated seeing black women with straightened hair and wanted for all of us to go natural. I was very judgemental. Unlike many other ladies though, I wasn't very vocal about my opinions. I never went after anyone insisting that they should wear their hair natural and never preached about "giving up the creamy crack", but I was still judgemetal and felt that way inside.

Just recently, I've changed my mind. Natural hair isn't for everyone just like relaxed hair isn't for everyone. My natural hair journey has gone very well so far, but many don't have the same experience. They struggle with single strand knots, tangles, and breakage. On the other hand my relaxed/straghtened hair experience didn't go so well. My relaxed hair was prone to dryness, splits, felt like hay at times, and I was constantly getting chemical burns on my scalp no matter how little time I kept the relaxer in. Now, I know that not everyone with relaxers have these problems. It depends on the individual. Everyone's hair is different. It's best to do what works for you.

The "Embracing your natural hair" thread and this thread has helped me see other's view points and have been a real eye opener for me. If I were relaxed, I would probably feel unwelcomed too after reading some of these threads. I never thought of this though until after reading this thread.

 

[jamaraa]

People do the big chop to restart their long hair journey as a natural without having to deal with two textures. I wouldn't say this is necessarily against the theme of the site. There's still the promise of future growth to come.

For some their journey might start one way end up another. Just because when you go relaxed from natural you don't have to cut off the hair doesn't mean it's pro LHCF or that cutting hair to be natural is anti.

Also I'd agree that the majority of members are probably relaxed. If they want to be more vocal about it they can. =)

I know quite well what the big chop is and the intention of growing hair from that point, however...50-11 threads about it is not exactly why this site started. It really started about growing the hair you have out...if you wanted to go natural, fine but that's not really the issue. I dind't pay to read about people's decision to become natural, but their approaches on growing out their hair as is.

I didn't say anything about "pro" or "anti"...I said it's not what the focus is here. You were around in 04...just how much of this stuff was talked about taking up the entire 1st page back then? Nada. The site functioned fine when it was exclsuively about growth...not transitioning or BC's. That's shifted the focus, IMHO.

Easier said than done for them to talk when they were being drowned out....delibrately.

 

[panamoni]

Me too, I don't get burns anymore either because I carefully and generously base my scalp now.

Even though I have my stylist do my relaxers, I always base my scalp before I go then ask them to base it as well. That, combined with not scratching my scalp at least the last 4 days before my relaxer, have made me burn free for years (probably about 10).

 

[panamoni]

Thank you so much CelinaStarr. Perhaps you are one of the supportive naturals I spoke about in an earlier thread. We will try to update more with pics but you must understand that because we have felt unwelcomed, we had, or at least I have had little desire to share pics and that is why I put them in my fotki album instead.

Seriously, I thought of starting a "Share Your Fresh Relaxer Pics" thread, but I thought people would think it was silly and boring because 'straight hair isn't versatile'.

 

[msa]

I know quite well what the big chop is and the intention of growing hair from that point, however...50-11 threads about it is not exactly why this site started. It really started about growing the hair you have out...if you wanted to go natural, fine but that's not really the issue. I dind't pay to read about people's decision to become natural, but their approaches on growing out their hair as is.

IMO, the bold is extremely limiting and unfair to all the women here who are discovering new ways to take care of their hair. Whether someone goes from relaxed to natural, or natural to relaxed, the board is here for everyone to share and learn from their hair journey's.

For some, growing out their hair in a healthy (and less stressful way) means doing a bc and being natural or relaxing after trying out being natural. The board is here for EVERYONE and I don't think it's appropriate to make it seem like either way is unwelcome here.

 

[ceebee3]

I know quite well what the big chop is and the intention of growing hair from that point, however...50-11 threads about it is not exactly why this site started. It really started about growing the hair you have out...if you wanted to go natural, fine but that's not really the issue. I dind't pay to read about people's decision to become natural, but their approaches on growing out their hair as is.

I didn't say anything about "pro" or "anti"...I said it's not what the focus is here. You were around in 04...just how much of this stuff was talked about taking up the entire 1st page back then? Nada. The site functioned fine when it was exclsuively about growth...not transitioning or BC's. That's shifted the focus, IMHO.

Easier said than done for them to talk when they were being drowned out....delibrately.

I think people are just really excited and feel good that they have a place to share.

I'm relaxed and I don't think most of the naturals on this board have a problem with relaxed hair.

I think a lot of people are too sensitive on both sides. We all love beautiful hair.

No one should feel like they can't show it off or express how they feel about their accomplishments.

I don't understand why a lot of people give a hoot what strangers think. You don't know these people.

If you want to post pics of your beautiful hair but feel hesitant, just consider all of the people who do want to see it, not the ones that don't.

 

[Southernbella.]

The site functioned fine when it was exclsuively about growth...not transitioning or BC's. That's shifted the focus, IMHO.

How is this thread about growth? This thread is no different than BC/transition threads, IMO. I see nothing wrong with either, for the record. I'm just sayin'.

 

[jennboo]

I think people are just really excited and feel good that they have a place to share.

I'm relaxed and I don't think most of the naturals on this board have a problem with relaxed hair.

I think a lot of people are too sensitive on both sides. We all love beautiful hair.

No one should feel like they can't show it off or express how they feel about their accomplishments.

I don't understand why a lot of people give a hoot what strangers think. You don't know these people.

If you want to post pics of your beautiful hair but feel hesitant, just consider all of the people who do want to see it, not the ones that don't.

THANK YOU!

 

[Southernbella.]

I'm just saying...I've seen half of the posters in this thread in OT and ET, arguing and debating and not giving a you know what, but when it comes to hair, all of a sudden you've been wanting to start some threads but were afraid because the board's been taken over by the natural nazis?

Brand new.

 

[BeetleBug]

OK? All this whining and "taking back the board" and "ZOMG, I was starting to feel like the minority!" is funny to me.

Thank you! You would think people would be glad that black women are starting to appreciate and take pride in their natural textures w/o complaining that there are too many natural threads. Everyone is free to start a thread about anything hair-related. I haven't see anything here that would make relaxed heads feel unwanted. Geesh, I wasn't this sensitive when I was relaxed.