My dh is not all bad but I am going through a stressful time right now. I was laid off last week and we are having other issues. I am the onel who deals with the finances, household work and mainly the children because his work schedule is hectic. However I am recently laid off and a little down about it and he is not being very supportive. I hav high blood pressure and I tell him it seems to be getting worse but he doesn't really get it. He has stomach problems and other health issues and that is all he is concerned with. He feels I should be happy that I can stay home with the kids and I am happy about that. The positive in a negative situation. But he just doesn't get it and I am really annoyed. He alwasys is talking about how I need to be supportive but he seems to think this only flows in one direction.
How to deal with a stressful spouse
- Thread starter newbiemom
- Start date
My dh is not all bad but I am going through a stressful time right now. I was laid off last week and we are having other issues. I am the onel who deals with the finances, household work and mainly the children because his work schedule is hectic. However I am recently laid off and a little down about it and he is not being very supportive. I hav high blood pressure and I tell him it seems to be getting worse but he doesn't really get it. He has stomach problems and other health issues and that is all he is concerned with. He feels I should be happy that I can stay home with the kids and I am happy about that. The positive in a negative situation. But he just doesn't get it and I am really annoyed. He alwasys is talking about how I need to be supportive but he seems to think this only flows in one direction.
MoniintheMiddle
Well-Known Member
What exactly is it that your DH doesn't get...you need him to be more understanding with your having been laid off? Have you communicated this directly to him...the support you need?
I can see him trying to look at the positive. It is a wonderful thing that he can take care of his family on his income. I will say with both of you having health issues he's probably just as stressed as you are so perhaps you can tell him exactly what level of comfort you need.
I can see him trying to look at the positive. It is a wonderful thing that he can take care of his family on his income. I will say with both of you having health issues he's probably just as stressed as you are so perhaps you can tell him exactly what level of comfort you need.
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
What kind of support do you want/need from him? If you aren't able to express what you need, he's going to give you what he thinks you want, from his perspective.
I'd suspect that in his eyes, he thinks things are easier for you now because you are at home, and aren't doing all that you do and having to work full-time, too. He might also feel a bit more stressed, because now that there is only one income coming in, the full weight of supporting the family is on his shoulders.
Tell him what you need from him, and tell him that you appreciate all that he already does.
I'd suspect that in his eyes, he thinks things are easier for you now because you are at home, and aren't doing all that you do and having to work full-time, too. He might also feel a bit more stressed, because now that there is only one income coming in, the full weight of supporting the family is on his shoulders.
Tell him what you need from him, and tell him that you appreciate all that he already does.
Dak
Well-Known Member
Was he that way when you guys were dating? I'm sorry to say, but the best way around your problem is for your to train him to be responsive to your needs. He needs to have it spelled out very clearly what you need from him. It'll take time, but worth it in the long run.
Another way around it would be to confide in a family member, girlfriend or someone else that you have a relationship with. Training takes a lot of effort.
Another way around it would be to confide in a family member, girlfriend or someone else that you have a relationship with. Training takes a lot of effort.
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