How To Break Up w/ Single Dad?

[niknik253]

Remember the kid is a human. Simply getting used to him or her would be a travesty IMO. You dont want to be responsible for creating issues in a kid that you only just tolerate just because. The child will know, no matter how many cupcakes you bake. You'd marry dad and you'll resent the kid in the long run and it would be sad for all parties involved

I completely agree with this post. Stick with dating older and men with no children and those who have children and have no interest in them (because after all they are the best catch).

 

[BKbeauty]

Why would any decent woman want a man who has abandoned their children? If that isn't indicative of what a total douche he is I don't know what is. If a man could abandon or ignore children he MADE, what would stop him from leaving you high and dry?

 

[JustifiablyMe]

...Not to derail the thread but what is so horrible about dating in Hawaii?

 

[hopeful]

My posts in here have been to Enyo whom I care about. The cool part about asking questions on a board is that you get a variety of responses. I feel like I know Enyo from the things she's posted on here (over the years) and I appreciate her candor. At one point she kinda went on a rant in this thread. That didn't keep me from encouraging her because I could feel the pain behind her words. I know she does not want a man who abandons his children. I know she has no intentions of being a wicked step mother. She is lonely and frustrated and has been dealing with mental illness for a long time. She obviously cares about people, parents, and children in general, otherwise she wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place asking for help on how to gently dump the dad, nor would she have set him straight on the dad showing the son a revolving door of women.

We are all coming from different places and have different perspectives. I stand by everything I have posted thus far. Anyone who sees things differently has every right to say their peace. I choose to not argue back and forth with people. It's not my style. To me it's pointless and draining so I don't do it.

 

[ambergirl]

My posts in here have been to Enyo whom I care about. The cool part about asking questions on a board is that you get a variety of responses. I feel like I know Enyo from the things she's posted on here (over the years) and I appreciate her candor. At one point she kinda went on a rant in this thread. That didn't keep me from encouraging her because I could feel the pain behind her words. I know she does not want a man who abandons his children. I know she has no intentions of being a wicked step mother. She is lonely and frustrated and has been dealing with mental illness for a long time. She obviously cares about people, parents, and children in general, otherwise she wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place asking for help on how to gently dump the dad, nor would she have set him straight on the dad showing the son a revolving door of women. We are all coming from different places and have different perspectives. I stand by everything I have posted thus far. Anyone who sees things differently has every right to say their peace. I choose to not argue back and forth with people. It's not my style. To me it's pointless and draining so I don't do it.

To be honest I don't doubt that Enyo is a caring, empathetic person either, which is one reason why I challenge her when she posts otherwise. To me part of our healing is dropping the facades of beliefs and behaviors that mask our humanness and vulnerability. I don't believe for one minute she believes the callous things she says.. I just prefer to call out that taking them at face value represents her in a very specific way and if that's not who you are then maybe you might want to challenge those beliefs and behaviors because they are not only false representations they are probably keeping you from having the very things you want.

And sorry to talk about you in the third person Enyo.

 

[hopeful]

ambergirl From what you wrote here it seems that we are actually on the same page and that we feel the same way about Enyo. We just have different approaches.

Enyo, I am here for you and rooting for you. And as ambergirl pointed out we are discussing you in third person and I don't like that and will stop.

Please keep us updated on how things go with the new guy. And speaking of Hawaii my family and I were talking about how we need another trip there soon. Our favorite island is Maui and we are hoping to get there sometime this year, maybe in the fall. Lucky girl to be living in Hawaii . Not sure which island you are on but I'm sure it is beautiful and peaceful. I can also imagine how small the black population is, especially ones who are not transient. I also understand why you are not interested in dating much older men anymore. I'll keep you in my prayers and will continue to support you as best I can. (((Hugs)))

 

[ambergirl]

ambergirl I had a long post, but I'll just say this. You told me I have traits of a psychopath and you seem to enjoy reiterating that I apparently have no empathy for other people. If that's the case, then your only intent is to be self-righteous and emphasize your previous assertions. I do not believe anything you say to or about me comes from a good place. Ever.

By the way Enyo I was curious about your notion that I've been maligning you all over LHCF so I did a search and came up with this thread.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=693575&highlight=sociopath

Posting it because it disproves what you've said here.

 

[preciouslove0x]

This was a great thread. Loved reading the different perspectives. Makes me wish this part of the forum was as active as off topic and ET. I could learn a lot from over here.

 

[Enyo]

ambergirl From what you wrote here it seems that we are actually on the same page and that we feel the same way about Enyo. We just have different approaches. Enyo, I am here for you and rooting for you. And as ambergirl pointed out we are discussing you in third person and I don't like that and will stop. Please keep us updated on how things go with the new guy. And speaking of Hawaii my family and I were talking about how we need another trip there soon. Our favorite island is Maui and we are hoping to get there sometime this year, maybe in the fall. Lucky girl to be living in Hawaii . Not sure which island you are on but I'm sure it is beautiful and peaceful. I can also imagine how small the black population is, especially ones who are not transient. I also understand why you are not interested in dating much older men anymore. I'll keep you in my prayers and will continue to support you as best I can. (((Hugs)))

Thank you. It's so nice to get actual support and understanding. And I think you're totally right about your approach. Yours is just more positive and actually gives me some serious hope that things may turn around. It feels really good to be loved instead of chastised. People like me clearly have a hard time seeing the positive, so we tend to do better when people point it out to us. Thank you so much for that. It really means a lot.

Blacks are only 3% of the population according to the census and mostly live on Oahu (where I am). I'm not sure if they count military people, though. Most of the black people I've met here are in the service. I'm the only black civilian in my entire cohort. I think I'll keep the updates to myself until I find something solid. I'm sure this one will fizzle like all the rest, but I'm going to try anyway. I love my cohorts but I'm getting tired of doing everything with them. I need someone new.

Honolulu isn't really peaceful. You have to get out of the city to really enjoy the scenery. I also prefer Maui. It's easier to keep in touch with nature there. Though, Kailua is my overall favorite town here. I'm actually more of a mountain girl and you get a great view if the Koolau Range up there. The weather is also cooler which I like. If you decide to come to Oahu, please PM me and I'll be glad to take you to dinner.

I find that Hawaii has been good for my bipolar symptoms. I don't think my brand of depression will truly lift, but it's a lot more tolerable here. I was on 4 medications when I moved and now I'm on two, and one of those has been reduced by half. Pretty good! That's another reason why the whole "just move" thing annoys me. I like not having to take handfuls of pills each day just to function. Clearly I've got to think about my health before everything else.

...Not to derail the thread but what is so horrible about dating in Hawaii?

I talked about it a page or two ago.

 

[hopeful]

By the way Enyo I was curious about your notion that I've been maligning you all over LHCF so I did a search and came up with this thread. http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=693575&highlight=sociopath Posting it because it disproves what you've said here.

I might be wrong but I don't think she meant that you were talking about her everywhere. I think she was saying that you often repeat certain general opinions/agendas throughout the board that she personally does not agree with. She did say that you have insulted her before in the past as well. I really do not think she is saying that you are going around talking about her though. So two separate issues: one, you have insulted her in the past in some way and two, you push a certain agenda throughout the board.

Oops, speaking in third person again! Yikes! Okay, I promise no more but thought I'd clear that up. Maybe you two just don't click. Okay, bye for now lol.

 

[ambergirl]

I might be wrong but I don't think she meant that you were talking about her everywhere. I think she was saying that you often repeat certain general opinions/agendas throughout the board that she personally does not agree with. She did say that you have insulted her before in the past as well. I really do not think she is saying that you are going around talking about her though. So two separate issues: one, you have insulted her in the past in some way and two, you push a certain agenda throughout the board. Oops, speaking in third person again! Yikes! Okay, I promise no more but thought I'd clear that up. Maybe you two just don't click. Okay, bye for now lol.

Read the thread I posted and you'll see why I'm calling bull on that. BTW she didn't say anything about my pushing an agenda on the board so I think that's your opinion.

 

[hopeful]

Also, Enyo, we fly straight to Maui now. Oahu is so bustling, feels like NYC almost, although I realize that's really Honolulu moreso than the whole island. We really never gave Oahu a chance. We've been there maybe twice, but have been to Maui close to 10 times. We fell in love with Maui and she just kind of calls us . We did go to Kauai a couple years ago but it was too rainy and slow for us. My daughter loved it though. She went on a long hike to see some beautiful waterfalls.

I'm glad you found a place that eases your symptoms. That's one of the reasons I love living in California, virtually no winter. In other cities I lived in I would feely really gloomy for about six weeks in the winter. But not anymore. I met a lady once who said she and her son became depressed while living in Seattle and had to take antidepressants. They eventually moved to a new city and voila they felt better and were able to stop taking medication.

 

[hopeful]

Read the thread I posted and you'll see why I'm calling bull on that. BTW she didn't say anything about my pushing an agenda on the board so I think that's your opinion.

I sent you a pm. I don't want to derail Enyo's thread any further.

 

[Enyo]

Also, Enyo, we fly straight to Maui now. Oahu is so bustling, feels like NYC almost, although I realize that's really Honolulu moreso than the whole island. We really never gave Oahu a chance. We've been there maybe twice, but have been to Maui close to 10 times. We fell in love with Maui and she just kind of calls us . We did go to Kauai a couple years ago but it was too rainy and slow for us. My daughter loved it though. She went on a long hike to see some beautiful waterfalls.

I'm glad you found a place that eases your symptoms. That's one of the reasons I love living in California, virtually no winter. In other cities I lived in I would feely really gloomy for about six weeks in the winter. But not anymore. I met a lady once who said she and her son became depressed while living in Seattle and had to take antidepressants. They eventually moved to a new city and voila they felt better and were able to stop taking medication.

I like the fact that Honolulu has a lot of cultural things like Iolani Palace, Honolulu Art Museum, Hawaii State Museum, Polynesian Cultural Center, Bishop Museum, etc. But I suggest that if people really want to get a better sense of this island, they stay on the Windward side. That’s where Obama stays when he comes. I also heard that Koolina is a nice alternative, but I’ve never been. Either way, you can always just take an express bus to the city for the day and then go back to the peace and quiet when you’re done. I’ll probably stick to Oahu for my primary residence because this island has the most resources. But once I’m done school, I’m moving to the Windward side. That way it’s the best of both worlds.

I thought about moving to California, but I was more familiar with Hawaii. I’d be moving to Cali totally blind since I’ve only been there one time for one week as a teenager. I felt that would be too stressful.

I find that the “issue” about outdoor activities here in Hawaii is that they tend to be solitary. I hike, paddle, scuba, do photography, and swim, and none of those involve talking to other people. Not that I mind. I honestly don’t care to be interrupted when I’m hiking or taking pictures because I do it to clear my mind, but on the other end, you miss meeting people who have the same interests. Single Dad and I had a long conversation about the irony of not meeting people who share your interests because you’re out actually doing those interests.

I had a long thought process last night and have started to consider a military man who wants to stay after he's out of the service. I've met some who say they will (risky) and some that actually did (yay!). A lot of them have the same problems as I do. Plus I find that in my personal experience, a lot of non-black military men seem cool with dating a black woman. I see that quite a lot here.

 

[Ogoma]

Enyo really really appreciate your candor. Have been standing in the cold to finish this thread rather than risk entering the subway and losing connection.

I don't know anything about you or your dating history beyond what has been posted in this thread, but I just feel so deeply your "story" will be changing soon.

 

[Enyo]

@Enyo really really appreciate your candor. Have been standing in the cold to finish this thread rather than risk entering the subway and losing connection.

I don't know anything about you or your dating history beyond what has been posted in this thread, but I just feel so deeply your "story" will be changing soon.

Thanks! And, hopefully for the better.

 

[Mortons]

I dont think I could exist in hawaii without taking some serious consideration to dating the military career set. Most military men do at some point meet their wives and then the wives have to adjust to service life. Not bad, not good, just is.

But in Hawaii, I dont see dating prospects getting better without changing around criteria...but then again I date any and all races, so I know everyone will not be in favort.

I would not want to leave hawaii though, hell or high water I am yearning to go back to living with a view of Waikiki and shopping and eating near ala moana let me stop thinking about it

 

[Farida]

I can understand moving in order to keep a relationship together. Hawaii has a huge military population and I see this a lot. Women falling in love with soldiers and then following them to their next post (usually right before or shortly after they marry). Or sometimes people are offered a job on the mainland with moving expenses paid and use it as a fresh start. But picking up and moving back to the mainland with no romantic prospects and no job in the hopes I'll find someone? That seems almost as ludicrous as dude who brought his kid on a date. I'm a little worried that I appear desperate enough for that suggestion to even be made. If I was, the original post would have never happened because I'd be at Wally World with Single Dad and his kid. As a general note, I dislike when people say "move" like I'm switching desks at work. Has anyone here moved 5000 miles away to a tiny island? It's probably one of the most stressful and expensive things I've ever done. You really start your life over, and I need a better reason than "trying to find a man" in order to do it again. Thank you. I hope so.

I think finding a person to share your life with is a huge thing. I did not say, leave HI to a place with zero prospects in any other aspect of life other than men. I have moved across the world and across the country several times in my life to places where I did not know a soul. If finding someone is a huge desire in your life I do not think it is stupid to move. It would be stupid to move somewhere were there is absolutely nothing else for you or for one specific guy who is not your husband. But if you can find a place you like, a job and that has better dating prospects I think it is worthwhile. But if you don't want to then you have limited your prospects and that's a choice you are free to make.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

Have you tried dating as a black person in Hawaii? It's awful. I mean, notoriously bad. So much so that non-black people I don't know well have asked me if the rumors about black people having a hard time is true. The single dad and I talked about how difficult it has been for us for a whole hour. One HOUR just on swapping stories about the way we've been treated while trying to date in Honolulu. Both of us have been here for almost a year (he moved here one month after me) and have not had one meaningful romantic relationship since we arrived. The struggle is real. The issue is that we both love it here. Hawaii is been good for us spiritually, physically, and psychologically. Dating is the only problem. Isn’t it logical that you should seek the compromise your ideals for the greater good (i.e. not having to leave Hawaii just to find a mate)?


Try dating in NYC - options are **** and **** on a stick most days. There are other areas I would love to move to but know that its a waste of time to move there as a single woman. For reasons I won't get into I'm stuck in NY for now but realize you chose to move to HI and knew the numbers before you got there. If dating is a priority you may have to open your options to more than Black men.

Logic can come across negatively when it doesn't fit what society wants to hear. That's why so many people are against it. They want everyone to think emotionally ("Oh, but you're supposed to LOVE the kid like he was your OWN!") and ignore the fact it's not logical for you to care about a stranger that you don't want around. If I can find a man that’s more interested in being a husband than being a father, why shouldn’t I have a relationship with him? I don’t plan on trying to break up a good relationship, but if it’s clearly weak, then it’s a benefit for me and I will take advantage of it.

What you're saying is not logical its selfish. People care about you from being on this board and have never met you. Is that logical?

If you meet a man with existing kids then you are fully capable of developing feelings for the kid. He's known those kids much longer than you.

Edited to be clear - I also do not want to date a man with kids. I do not want to deal with baby mothers, ex wives or any of the financial issues that comes with a man that has children he has to support. The only exception would be if he was in a certain income bracket. So I hear you but for different reasons. which means I'm very deliberate with dating - you don't meet the criteria then there is no need for us to "continue to get to know each other". Falling for you or sleeping with the wrong man just delays my having time to meet the right one.

There are lots of men that are good partners but bad fathers and visa versa. Some are bad at both, and some are good at both. I think folks need to stop trying say that a man or woman who is not the most involved parent cannot possibly be a good mate. Once again, that’s society’s ideal being made into false fact. I’ve seen evidence to the contrary over and over again – often within my own family.


I can't argue with your value set. What you"ve grown up around may not be normal or right. Do you but don't expect everyone to agree with your position.

I repeat: I totally understand why women marry men with kids and then try and boot the kid. I really do. I used to be appalled at it until I found myself banging a 48 year old man because he was the only person I could find that had grown kids and didn't want more. It was disgusting and I won’t go back to that. I never said I’d try and boot the kid. I simply understand why some women are desperate enough to try it.

Doing anything from a position of desperation will not end well. Take back your power and control the things that you can.

It's easy for people to type that I should wait, but how would you feel if all your friends and family in your age range were married or in serious relationships and you're sitting there like an idiot waiting for someone that fits your criteria? I respect every post that has been made in this thread, but unless you've dealt with that, your opinions can only go so far. Clearly something has to change, and it's not going to be my stance on not having kids, so the only options are to start considering men my age with children or going back to old geezers. I don’t have the option of being picky anymore. In the DC area, yes, but not here.


Why are you assuming that everyone responding is married? I'm not. I know what I want and what I have to offer so I'm single. Anyone can get in a relationship - its being in a healthy one that takes time and standards to weed out the fakers. Its not about being picky but knowing what you want and the standards you're not willing to drop. For me they are very clear and it is what it is.

The reality is a lot of people are married but they are not happy and I'm in no rush to be miserable because I caved in on standards just to have a man. Half these married folks have no idea what dating is like these days.

No one said you had to have kids. If you don't want any then you need to maximize your options.
Oh, and I don’t believe in Karma. Superstitions have no influence whatsoever.

Trust this then - what is done with/for you will be done to you.

Not saying what you want to hear doesn't mean I wish you harm. Just shining a mirror so you can be empowered to take control of what you are doing instead of feeling like life is happening to you. Your dating situation is due to factors you have chosen and the power to adjust it is solely in your hands.

 

[Enyo]

I dont think I could exist in hawaii without taking some serious consideration to dating the military career set. Most military men do at some point meet their wives and then the wives have to adjust to service life. Not bad, not good, just is.

But in Hawaii, I dont see dating prospects getting better without changing around criteria...but then again I date any and all races, so I know everyone will not be in favort.

I would not want to leave hawaii though, hell or high water I am yearning to go back to living with a view of Waikiki and shopping and eating near ala moana let me stop thinking about it

I said I mainly attract black men, not that I don't date interracially. Two different things. But down here you have to "compete" with Asian/hapa and white women. Both groups are more favored and much more plentiful than black women. Asian/part Asian and white men are way more likely to go for them than to go for a black woman. Also, many black men love to chase the exoticals down here, so many of them are not exactly knocking at my door either.

As far as dating military goes, for someone with serious mental illness to stay healthy, we need consistency. Part of surviving is having a strong network of understanding doctors, friends, and family around you. Forming these relationships takes years because they need to be strong in order to work. This means that every time we move or he gets deployed, I get put in danger because I have to reassemble to groups of people who, sometimes literally, keep me alive. Active duty men are just too risky. That's why I try and find guys that are either recently out, or plan to stay after they get out.

Technically, I'm still in the danger zone now because of my move to Hawaii. It's not as scary because I'm in a place that's conducive to my condition (warm, lots of sun, friendly culture). But you can't pick where you go in the military or when. I've been here a year and already lost 3 cohorts to abrupt military reassignments. They were told they'd be here long enough to finish school, but, nope!

@Farida This is another reason why I can't afford to be casual about the whole "move" thing. When I do it, it's not like when normal people do.

Trust this then - what is done with/for you will be done to you.

I already stated that superstitions have no effect whatsoever on my choices, but I respect that you're trying to help me remain positive even if I don't agree with rationale behind it.

 

[Mortons]

I said I mainly attract black men, not that I don't date interracially. Two different things. But down here you have to "compete" with Asian/hapa and white women. Both groups are more favored and much more plentiful than black women. Asian/part Asian and white men are way more likely to go for them than to go for a black woman. Also, many black men love to chase the exoticals down here, so many of them are not exactly knocking at my door either.

As far as dating military goes, for someone with serious mental illness to stay healthy, we need consistency. Part of surviving is having a strong network of understanding doctors, friends, and family around you. Forming these relationships takes years because they need to be strong in order to work. This means that every time we move or he gets deployed, I get put in danger because I have to reassemble to groups of people who, sometimes literally, keep me alive. Active duty men are just too risky. That's why I try and find guys that are either recently out, or plan to stay after they get out.

Technically, I'm still in the danger zone now because of my move to Hawaii. It's not as scary because I'm in a place that's conducive to my condition (warm, lots of son, friendly culture). But you can't pick where you go in the military or when. I've been here a year and already lost 3 cohorts to abrupt military reassignments. They were told they'd be here long enough to finish school, but, nope!

I know all about the bold unfortunately. thats the very nature of living in hawaii I assumed. I did have more luck with asians in hawaii, but thats another story.

I do get what you are deal with with the mental illness. I too experience high anxiety levels and and more likely to fall back into a depression when I move, but as a military brat, I never had a choice so I never had a choice so I have had to learn to deal. I hope that things turn around for you in hawaii. It really is an optimal place to live, aside from the damn high cost of living.

 

[Enyo]

I know all about the bold unfortunately. thats the very nature of living in hawaii I assumed. I did have more luck with asians in hawaii, but thats another story.

I do get what you are deal with with the mental illness. I too experience high anxiety levels and and more likely to fall back into a depression when I move, but as a military brat, I never had a choice so I never had a choice so I have had to learn to deal. I hope that things turn around for you in hawaii. It really is an optimal place to live, aside from the damn high cost of living.

Local Asians/hapas are a hit or miss for me. They are either totally cool with me or suspicious. I find the kid thing is the sticker for them. White guys with no children tend to the the coolest with it. I find Hawaii is very good for me. Even locals comment how they assume I've always been here because I'm so at home.

 

[LoveLegend]

I don't think it has to be difficult. I lived in Honolulu for 7 years (right in the middle of Waikiki a Kalakaua and Ala Moana). Interestingly enough, I attended the same school as you I went on dates every week-- I was open to going on a DATE (being clear, date... this is LHCF) with white, black, asian, hawaiian, local kine mix Hapa LOL. Never had to date anyone with kids, but I was in my 20s. I met my husband there. If anything see being one of the few Black people there as a benefit--everyone wants to talk to you! At least that is how I saw it.
All of those solo activities you said you do are great opportunities to talk to other people. I met people while hiking, or in Kailua at the beach. It's all in your approach. The undertone of your post seems so negative already, redirect your thinking. I was on top of the world when I lived there, you have everything!

 

[Enyo]

I don't think it has to be difficult. I lived in Honolulu for 7 years (right in the middle of Waikiki a Kalakaua and Ala Moana). Interestingly enough, I attended the same school as you I went on dates every week-- I was open to going on a DATE (being clear, date... this is LHCF) with white, black, asian, hawaiian, local kine mix Hapa LOL. Never had to date anyone with kids, but I was in my 20s. I met my husband there. If anything see being one of the few Black people there as a benefit--everyone wants to talk to you! At least that is how I saw it. All of those solo activities you said you do are great opportunities to talk to other people. I met people while hiking, or in Kailua at the beach. It's all in your approach. The undertone of your post seems so negative already, redirect your thinking. I was on top of the world when I lived there, you have everything!

Yeah, I think being in your 20's helped a lot. I'll be 33 next month and most of my peers are married or in serious relationships. My program is 90% women anyway so I have to go out of my way to find guys my age. You didn't.

I don't find anyone has a particular interest in talking to me because I'm black. How long ago were you here? Was it recently because most people here don't give me a second glance. We are rare, but no so rare that we are a curiosity.

Of course my tone is negative. I've been here almost a year not found anyone. Not even a prospect and it's hard. I just think we are in very different social situations.

 

[LoveLegend]

I left in 2012. I met men interested in black women who were your age and most without kids. I guess you will have to do what you feel is best. I'm of the mindset that if you think no one is going to talk to you... well, then no one is going to talk to you.

 

[Enyo]

I left in 2012. I met men interested in black women who were your age and most without kids.

Where? I'd love to know because I only meet tons of women and gays. But that probably has a lot to do with my major. Also I don't party or club.

ETA: A lot of men my age who do not have kids generally want them. I have met a few that are childless but can't see a future without kids. So it's a waste of my time to even bother.

 

[LoveLegend]

I met men through my classmates at the professional school, and during outdoor activities (hiking, at the beach, etc). I don;t mind talking to strangers, and just met people randomly, I guess. The school used to host "lunch and learns" where professionals could meet over lunch and learn about a topic. I actually met my husband there.
I also was active in my women's fraternity and met people through our events. Never went clubbing to meet people.
You are right, there are lots of women, gays and.. mahus, though.

 

[Enyo]

I met men through my classmates at the professional school, and during outdoor activities (hiking, at the beach, etc). I don;t mind talking to strangers, and just met people randomly, I guess. The school used to host "lunch and learns" where professionals could meet over lunch and learn about a topic. I actually met my husband there.
I also was active in my women's fraternity and met people through our events. Never went clubbing to meet people.
You are right, there are lots of women, gays and.. mahus, though.

LoveLegend I think the lunch and learn is a great idea provided I can get to it. Practicum gets in the way a lot. I miss just having to attend classes without outside stuff.

Yeah, most of my classmates are married/committed women and most of THEIR friends are women. Loads of military wives, etc. It makes sense, though. Social work is a very female driven profession and many married women aren't as communicative with single males.