I actually agree with what he's saying here. My mom always urges me to do "a cost benefit analysis" with my friendships and relationships to see if they're worth it and who's getting more out of the deal. I wish more people (particularly women) would do this, maybe they'd realize how unrealistic their dating standards are for their current self.
I don't know if I agree with this. Women set the standard in the dating scene and I think that's the big point a lot of women miss.
Oh and most men don't think this way when it comes to women..
How was Bey?
I want an ambitious, well-off man who's very emotive and emotionally available. Like, one who's a driven beast at work and puddy in my hands when it comes to our relationship... as in very very mushy.
In my limited experience, my 2 serious relationships have been with 1 who's decently generous but super emotionally available, and another who's very generous and not very emotionally available. I want both and I am beginning to wonder whether that's really hard to find.
My mother says I shouldn't rely on a relationship to meet my emotional needs
I get what she's saying. I agree.
People are fickle. You can love someone today and hate the air they breathe the next, then back to loving them again the following day. So choosing something so unstable to rely on for your emotional needs would be setting oneself up for disaster.
I think after having dated an unusually emotive man, my expectations have become too high. I have to curb and adjust them. It's strange for me to date someone who's not that emotional. It makes me want to overcompensate on the emotions and mushiness, and even though the guys is generous with his $$ and his time, there's a little voice in my head screaming "(what if) he's just not that into you!" because I've gotten used a SO wanting to love on me every second and associating that with real love in a relationship. I have some daddy emotional issues (present but not very emotional, though very caring), and my daddy has his own daddy emotional issues (absent).
I wouldn't do a job that I applied for without getting paid, so no. I'm about money and being rewarded. I don't encourage playing wife. I don't say to cook for a man while you're dating him. I don't think you should sleep over a man's house more than 1x every two weeks IF that. I don't mind sex but spending the night and making him wake up from fck breakfast,....ewww. no.
I think women make themselves too commom. They think over loading a man with all "my love and my time and just being this awesome person for him is gonna make him see me and want me and think I'm so wonderful" texting him too much, two hour phone conversations. When I was single, I called a man back ONCE for every four times they called. When you jump through hoops for a man He's gonna go and think you're value must be so low that you have to do all these things to attract and win a man and that you can't get someone better.
ETA: I'm on my phone and can't see mentions. I just popped in here
I want an ambitious, well-off man who's very emotive and emotionally available. Like, one who's a driven beast at work and puddy in my hands when it comes to our relationship... as in very very mushy.
In my limited experience, my 2 serious relationships have been with 1 who's decently generous but super emotionally available, and another who's very generous and not very emotionally available. I want both and I am beginning to wonder whether that's really hard to find.
My mother says I shouldn't rely on a relationship to meet my emotional needs
I will finally be getting out of my tiny town and moving nearer to the research triangle.
I want an ambitious, well-off man who's very emotive and emotionally available. Like, one who's a driven beast at work and puddy in my hands when it comes to our relationship... as in very very mushy.
In my limited experience, my 2 serious relationships have been with 1 who's decently generous but super emotionally available, and another who's very generous and not very emotionally available. I want both and I am beginning to wonder whether that's really hard to find.
My mother says I shouldn't rely on a relationship to meet my emotional needs
Trust me, you don't want this. It's QUITE nauseating and strange, or maybe it's an Aquarius thing
nadaa16 huh????
Women these days contact men too much, none of this, Oh I'm thinking about you today blah blah sweetie texts to make him feel so wanted and secure. I'm the person to be won, make me feel awesome and secure. And not through some texts. Young girls are always telling me about this texting crap. I wouldn't dare let one text me repeatedly. I wouldn't even answer a man's text. Want to talk to me? Gotta call buddy
I think I've only made breakfast a handful of times, for a very serious SO. The one time I had a non-serious person sleep over, I offered oatmeal with water (that's what I was eating regularly at the time) and he was like... and so we went to grab brunch. Generally, the guy figures out the breakfast, which is incredibly sweet. And, while I do not like cooking for men, I love cooking WITH them (and with female friends too). I enjoy that so much more. Plus it's less pressure. I'll cook with serious and non-serious folks.
(I just revolt against the idea of slaving in the kitchen for someone... but I'm sure that'll change once I am a mother).
I think what stood out to me about that segment of the book, though, is that she said: If you can't see yourself cooking for him, then you shouldn't be sleeping there at all. Basically, get some feelings and be serious first
ahhhh ok makes sense. if you don't mind me asking, why didnt it work out since he seems to have set the standard? do you think this is practical? seems like too much............
Grass is not always greener in the long run. I have the opposite issue, my daddy had to many damn emotions. My boyfriends have kinda been similar. I'm just like my mom, like "Dude, stop crying/whining...get out of your effin feelings." I hate the men I attract sometimes, I dunno how I would handle a man that was even less emotionally available than I am. I always come across as the "jerk" I want someone else to be the jerk for a change.
Those kinds of men don't have any money either
Those kinds of men don't have any money either