How long into your CURRENT relationship did you.....

[Nameless]

colour?

I ask because I've read threads with different opinions. Some believe that it doesn't matter (e.g. colouring on the first date can sometimes lead to marriage?). Some believe that there's a certain amount of time before it can happen. Some wait until marriage and a few colour before the relationship starts.

How long have you and your partner been together?
If you can, add reasons as to why you coloured at that time and the effect it's had on your relationship.

No judging people's posts!

 

[JustKiya]

We had sex on our second date, because we liked each other and wanted to sample the goodies. We'll have been married for six years on Sunday.

I don't think it's had any effects on our relationship. We are both pretty sexual people, so it worked out.

ETA: In fact, had we not had sex shortly within the start of us dating, I honestly doubt that we would be married. I wouldn't have been the kind of woman he wanted if I had forced him to wait.

 

[lux10023]

^^^ very similiar to what she said....

 

[Mai Tai]

We colored once before we dated. That was about 9-10 months after we actually met.

Basically it went down like this...We met...became friends...started liking each other and expressed that to each other...colored...and started dating a week later.

 

[NaturalPath]

I waited a year and a week after we started dating. We were both V's at the time and I was the type of person that wanted to "wait before they got married" obviously that didnt happen, but I do not regret my decision. We are still together 3.5 years later and are talking about our future together.

I also wanted to wait because I wanted to know for sure he loved me, and wasn't with me just so he could get it. Not saying alot of dudes are like that but I wanted to build our relationship knowing each other first. This was just my personal decision. I think being a V I was scared entering my first relationship and losing it to someone, and not having the relationship work out. I just wanted to make sure our relationship had the promises of lasting for a good amount of time.

ETA: oh yeah I knew him 2 years prior to dating and became best friends first

 

[tash85]

On the first date, although we had been friends for nearly two years previously

Relationship lasted nearly 5 years, only recently ended

 

[TayMac]

Around the 3rd date. Why? I just wanted to. He "said" he didn't want anything serious then so we just remained friendly. Reconnected in July 09 and we've been a couple 8 months now.

 

[afrikurl]

My husband and I colored about a year into our relationship. We had a long distance relationship so proximity was part of the reason. If we lived around the corner, I'm certainit would have happened about 5 months into the relationship. I was new to coloring and I wanted to ensure that the relationship would be loving and worthwhile before hand. We have been married for 5 yrs

 

[DaPPeR]

Bumping for more answers!!!!!!

 

[spelmanlocks]

About three years or so. I wanted to wait until marriage, but didn't last. We're in our second year of marriage.

 

[gabulldawg]

I think we waited about 3 months to have sex. I was into taking it slow since this was my first relationship after my first. I did a good job of resisting temptation until one night he said he wanted to do it. It didn't take much for me to give in. For a little while I was worried that I gave it up too soon, but he actually thought I made him wait for forever! We are now engaged, so I guess I didn't mess things up.

 

[Bene]

About a week? If that? We fooled around for about a year before we decided we were actually together. We've been officially together for about 12 years? I know it was sometime in March that we started referring to ourselves as a couple.

 

[GoingNatural]

whenever we honestly agree to be in a monogamous relationship

 

[MekyakaKinkerbelle]

4th date. There were never any stipulations on when we would or wouldn't, but I did make clear on the very first date, that I don't sleep with multiple men and I expect the man that I am with to pay the same respect to me. If he didn't want to be monogamous, I wouldn't be mad at him, I just wouldn't be one of the names on the list and we could keep it platonic.

We've been married for almost 4 years, and together for 8 years.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

8 months.

 

[dlewis]

We waited several months. I wasn't totally convinced I wanted to be with him. And since sex is tied to how I feel I have to be really into a guy to give him the goods.

Dh says it was that magical back rub that made me give it up and I always think "naw dude I was gonna give up that night anyway".erplexed

 

[200AndOne]

5 months

we were 17 & 18 - and how about DH says he was actually planning to break up with me that day Needless to say, once I put the boon-doom on him, he never left

 

[dlewis]

5 months

we were 17 & 18 - and how about DH says he was actually planning to break up with me that day Needless to say, once I put the boon-doom on him, he never left

I see now he's your DH.

 

[Natasha009]

Sometime between 2 and 3 months *I think*. We were spending every day and night together since the 1st week so my memory is fuzzy as to when we actually took it farther.

I wasn"t planning for it, but when he opened the door that night dressed and looking extra hot, I knew it was game over! I didn't have any work clothes for the next day so I set my alarm for extra early so I could head home. He turned it off and woke up early and bought me something to wear to work the next day b/c he knew how much I loved sleep, i think that is what won my heart.

I dont think it matters when you sleep with a guy, I have a friend who lost her virginity at 20 to a guy on the 2nd date and now they're happily married.

 

[darlingdiva]

We "colored" two weeks after we became a couple. We've been together for five years and married for 1 1/2 years.

 

[Godyssey]

I have to really care for the person and KNOW that he genuinely cares for me, so I wait until I feel that connection.

I don't believe in a standard time for everyone. It all depends on the chemistry and the rate at which the couple gets to know eachother (imo). With my husband, I waited 3 months before I felt comfortable to take that next step.

At the same time, I felt pressure from myself, because I knew that he was a catch, and I wasn't sure if he would throw in the towel. Luckily, he never pressured me, and I was able to stick with my gut feelings.

 

[softblackcotton]

I'm not in a relationship at all right now, but I just observe a current theme from this thread that most of the romantic relationships didn't solidify and blossom into a marriage until everyone colored? So the girl who is waiting for marriage is most likely doomed...well at least my experience the dude's go SCRAM when they find out! LOL So if you really like the dude do you think you got to give him some as insurance, while knowing it's kind of a hit or miss thing. You do that with a couple of guys until you find one that will stay? But if you don't do it, then maybe you may miss out on the love your life? This is another thread all together

 

[MrsHdrLe]

We met on a Wednesday, had lunch, went on a date Friday night and colored that night. No regrets and soon to be hitched.
I think it matters in theory and according to the beliefs and values of the two involved. But I also think that if she feels she "messed up" then he often follows her lead. I never intimated that that was a problem in my current relationship, but I did in the past lament that choice and every guy followed my lead and broke up with me soon after I started boohooing.

 

[Bunny77]

I'm not in a relationship at all right now, but I just observe a current theme from this thread that most of the romantic relationships didn't solidify and blossom into a marriage until everyone colored? So the girl who is waiting for marriage is most likely doomed...well at least my experience the dude's go SCRAM when they find out! LOL So if you really like the dude do you think you got to give him some as insurance, while knowing it's kind of a hit or miss thing. You do that with a couple of guys until you find one that will stay? But if you don't do it, then maybe you may miss out on the love your life? This is another thread all together

Whoa whoa whoa Nelly!

Breathe now. The woman who waits for marriage is NOT doomed. There are women on the board who waited and can tell you their stories.

The thing is, studies say that 90% of Americans had sex before marriage, and I think that was true even in the 1940s. So, 9 times out of 10, you're likely going to hear from someone that they had sex with their future husband before they were married, but correlation does not equal causation. In other words, sex before marriage didn't automatically make them more likely to get married, but sex before marriage didn't prevent them from marrying either.

So, I wouldn't worry. If you want to wait, then wait. The right man will wait for you.

 

[Nameless]

I'm not in a relationship at all right now, but I just observe a current theme from this thread that most of the romantic relationships didn't solidify and blossom into a marriage until everyone colored? So the girl who is waiting for marriage is most likely doomed...well at least my experience the dude's go SCRAM when they find out! LOL So if you really like the dude do you think you got to give him some as insurance, while knowing it's kind of a hit or miss thing. You do that with a couple of guys until you find one that will stay? But if you don't do it, then maybe you may miss out on the love your life? This is another thread all together

Don't think like that. To be honest, this thread is about people who are in a relationship right now. So the answers are going to be biased and are most likely to be positive stories.
Some people colour on the first date, after a certain amount of months, wait until marriage etc but the outcome of each situation differs depending on the couple and circumstances.
NEVER, EVER compare yourself to any of the stories you hear because for every positive story of colouring after a certain amount of time, there is bound to be loads of negative stories (whether there was a wait or it was on the first date).
Softblackcotton, do what you want to do, if that means waiting for marriage then do your thing. It's true that some men may find that hard or scary but then that means you get rid of the bad apples. The right man for you would love you for you and if that means he has to wait until marriage to colour, then he'll have to wait.

Whoa whoa whoa Nelly!

Breathe now. The woman who waits for marriage is NOT doomed. There are women on the board who waited and can tell you their stories.

The thing is, studies say that 90% of Americans had sex before marriage, and I think that was true even in the 1940s. So, 9 times out of 10, you're likely going to hear from someone that they had sex with their future husband before they were married, but correlation does not equal causation. In other words, sex before marriage didn't automatically make them more likely to get married, but sex before marriage didn't prevent them from marrying either.

So, I wouldn't worry. If you want to wait, then wait. The right man will wait for you.

What she said .
And at the bolded, that's true. There are women who colour quite early in the relationship and the relationship is still strong after 10 years and there are other women that do the same but they end up being used. There are women who wait until marriage and their marriage lasts forever and there are some who end up being like Jessica Simpson . Every person's story is different.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

well we are long distance and had been talking for 9 months. we had sex the first time we met in person though. i was talkin all that smack before about how i wanted to wait until i was in a monogamous, committed relationship , but all that went out teh window when it was time to get down to business. ♥

 

[jasminestar]

Six months. When we first got together, we took a blood test, and then we waited 6 months and took another one (by we... I mean him ). Once the results for the second one were in, well...

 

[kismettt]

4-5 months. i was a virgin & he didnt want to (haha. basically he gave up his virginity to his ex & she cheated on him & he regretted it. he didnt want me to regret it). we are close to 2 years now. i dont think "waiting" really changed things (i think you know what type of guy you are messing with & hes hardly the type who is like "you gave it up too soon, peace"...ahem, my ex).

i wanted to have sex after one month but he was like so my hopes & dreams were crushed. we were also long distance for 3 months (summer break) so idk if we would have had sex sooner if we lived closer (i tried to get it before the break & he shut me down. i should be offended).

 

[Arcadian]

1st date. No I'm not a slut... We talked for 5 months. He was half a country away, so we got to know each other very well. plus, we did exchange papers

We have been stuck at the hip ever since. I'm always amazed its been so long (10 years!!!)

-A

 

[MaryJane3000]

We met when I was a freshman and he was a junior. We spent like everyday today from feb 15th on...but met in January through a friend and were hanging out occasionally till our infamous v-day talk. He didn't get the goods until May and he took me home to meet his mother in July and we've been together ever since, with a couple break ups in between though. I think he respected me more and trusts me more because I waited so long. And I think it allowed us to build a friendship that makes us try and work our issues out.