How Long Did You Wait To Have Children After You Got Married?

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FemmeFatale

Well-Known Member
I was wondering if it's better for newlyweds to wait a few years (at least 2) before having a child(ren) or is a timeline irrelevant once married..?

Personally there's so much that I'd want to do before having children..I want to travel to Africa, Asia and Europe with my husband, still be young, sexy and free in my 5" heels, and most importantly I want to color all over the house my hubby at any time of the day with no worries :lick:
 
9 months after we got married. The plan was to wait 2 yrs and that just didn't happen. I will say that if we had waited those 2 yrs we would likely have still waiting due to the economy.
 
JayAnn0513 said:
9 months after we got married. The plan was to wait 2 yrs and that just didn't happen. I will say that if we had waited those 2 yrs we would likely have still waiting due to the economy.
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So you had a honeymoon baby or you got pregnant 9 months later?
 
2 years until we started trying.

She was born around our 3 year wedding anniversary and about 9 years after we began dating :)
 
Do what's right for you. Take your trips and phuck like porn stars. Just make sure you have a plan in place to prevent pregnancy.

Me- I got married in June and had my DS the next April. Then I had my DD the next March after that.
 
kmn1980 said:
Do what's right for you. Take your trips and phuck like porn stars. Just make sure you have a plan in place to prevent pregnancy.

Me- I got married in June and had my DS the next April. Then I had my DD the next March after that.
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I was hoping for a more informative answer than that but ok.
 
FemmeFatale said:
I was hoping for a more informative answer than that but ok.
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Um. Well you said you wanted to travel and have lots o' sex before kids. I'm just saying, do what's right for you. No one can really say if it's "better" because everyone is different.

I can't say that we had any real plans to have or not have kids. I knew I wasn't going to go on birth control pills and I didn't really learn about natural family planning until my first one was on the way. The second baby is a result of a failed attempt at self-control.

Now, we can still travel and have wild sex, it just has to be better planned (ie. baby sitters, other appointments, waking the kids up, etc..).
 
You have stated that you want to travel and do other things before kids, so do that and use some form of birth control. Birth control is not the pain that some want to make it out to be, just face that fact that some folks get lax and a child results. If you are up on your birth control method, FOR THE MOST PART then you have some control of birth. I am sorry I just can't believe that so many people have "accidents".

All of the above is JMHO, JMHO, JMHO, JMHO.
 
I got pregnant 10 months after we got married. :look: I was not on birf control and I didn't care if I got pregnant or not.
 
We'll be married for three years this coming February. We just suffered a loss, but we're trying immediately. Next month we'll have met 10 years ago. I DO still plan to visit Paris and Africa....child or no. Like my mom told me 'just take them with you'.
 
I might not be the demographic you're looking for but, we've been married almost 12 years. We'll get around to having one or adopting withing the next 2 I suppose. I've traveled quite a bit, and I'll just travel with the child. I know it won't be as easy, but there's no way I'm giving up traveling.
 
@FemmeFatale
Me and my husband still play LOL

Having a child together has improved our relationship. We just fell easily into our roles and we are a team and our whole relationship has become more intimate.

I wanted to do the whole "spend time alone" with your husband thing but I think we would have been okay if we had a baby immediately.

We were together for 6 years though before getting married though *shrug*

Since having my daughter we have done the most traveling we have ever done in our entire lives. We still date we still have a good time :)
 
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I guess in short what I was asking is if "play time alone" is really crucial for a healthy, happy marriage. Even though I have an idea of what may work for me, I've never been married so I really wouldn't know, hence me asking.
 
Two years of marriage and 6 years of relationship time before a baby. I wanted to get pregnant right away. Now I see one of the many reasons why that didn't happen and I'm thankful for it.


eta

FemmeFatale said:
I guess in short what I was asking is if "play time alone" is really crucial for a healthy, happy marriage. Even though I have an idea of what may work for me, I've never been married so I really wouldn't know, hence me asking.
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No. I have a few friends/assoc who met, married, and had babies with the guy within 1 year. They are still married while other couples that dated forever are not. It depends on the couple. Now, I will say that statistically, couples that do not have "play time" before baby are at an increase risk of divorce. So...*shrug*
 
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We've been married 6 years and this is our first baby coming in Jan :)

I think that was best for us. We were really young and only knew each other 1 year before we married.
 
FemmeFatale said:
I guess in short what I was asking is if "play time alone" is really crucial for a healthy, happy marriage. Even though I have an idea of what may work for me, I've never been married so I really wouldn't know, hence me asking.
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Oh. I'd say no. A strong marriage is a combination of things and there are many couples who had a decade plus for play time and still couldn't stay together. Now, if you feel that you still want to know your spouse better (because there are things you find out in marriage that dating several years never revealed) before adding children to the mix, that's a wise choice.
 
kmn1980 said:
Oh. I'd say no. A strong marriage is a combination of things and there are many couples who had a decade plus for play time and still couldn't stay together. Now, if you feel that you still want to know your spouse better (because there are things you find out in marriage that dating several years never revealed) before adding children to the mix, that's a wise choice.
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Ditto! The playtime was nice for us, but we could have easily done a lot of that stuff with a baby and had DH's sister's baby sit.

I think it's good to give a new marriage some time, because you want to be able to work out the kinks and get used to living with each other. But as long as you have a support system, having a baby is a joy that makes your connection even more special.
 
If all that's important to you you prob need to wait.

I had my daughter 9 months and 1 day after I was married. People were counting down.

Studies show the longer you wait the better chance you have of having a successful marriage.

But I know two couples off the top of my head. One waited 10 years and divorced when their baby was a year old. One waited 13 years, had two boys back to back and divorce when the second baby was an arm baby.

So who knows what's right.
 
My husband and I have been married for three years and before that we dated for five years but we haven't started a family yet.

I always wanted to wait awhile before I got pregnant because I subconsciously felt that starting a family too early was the downfall in my parents marriage because they didn't know each other well before marriage and they immediately got pregnant during the honeymoon. Too much, too soon.

Ironically though, a few of our friends (that have not been together as long as DH and I) have gotten engaged and married after we tied the knot and intentionally started their families immediately. Go figure. We're happy with our decision and they seem happy with theirs. BTW, I hope to get pregnant within the next two years :)
 
We waited 9 years :) We got married young and we were too selfish to have kids at the time. We had a lot of fun in that 9 years. We've even traveled and seen the world together. We made sure we had bought a home and paid off our vehicles before we conceived. I'm happy we did it that way. :)
 
We married young and waited 4.5 years. I have no regrets at all and I'm very thankful for the alone time that we had together.
 
We've been married almost 3 years and we're expecting next June. I'm glad we had the time together especially as we didn't live together before marriage. Waiting a little also allowed us to travel freely and to buy & furnish a home.
 
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