Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being married?

Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

JudithO said:
Lol... girl, your pidgin english needs work... lol... Ya, typical naija marriages na wa...

Oh... there WILL be tension... This one time I threw a suprise birthday party for him in a club... It did NOT end well at all.. He just hates the club scene and I've given up trying to get him to go...If at all, I go anywhere there is dancing, it will be alone or with my girls or something...

He's a Capricon btw...

FelaShrine I think traveling will be fun... but na money kill am... We dont have disposable income currently... Concerts, doesnt really interest any of us.. :(
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Dont mind me jare. Blame the parents, pidgin was banned completely :lol: I was gonna write in Yoruba since i know you understand but cant have people crying over "language"

How about travel within the country? go to groupon, find some nice deals.

capricorn ke? abeg na lie :lol: Cancer males are the ones that just wanna stay home and be boring, eat, work and sleep..thats why i avoid them :look: i now understand why he's stubborn about it though

well does he have a problem with you going with the girls? and why do you hate movies? i know there are naija ccomedy shows every now and then..would he like that? where did you two meet? (church abi)
 
DH and I actually travel separately. Sometimes to see family/friends sometimes to save money. People think it's odd but I pay them no mind. It's not like DH is going down for Florida spring break to meet some co-eds. I especially enjoy going to travel with my mom. Spending time alone with my family is important because I don't get to do it is much as I used to.

DH also loves the outdoors and I am the opposite. First it was a source of unhappiness because I would just tag along even though I hated it. Now I go once a year for his birthday and the rest of the time he goes alone or with friends. I actually look forward to time alone since I have no kids and know that will be rare once I do.

It is easy to lose oneself in a relationship and it is not often the other person's fault. That loss can make you resentful and hate marriage. Just because you are married does not mean you have to do everything together. Plan some things together, live your own life and respect each other's boundaries. A fulfilled spouse is a happy spouse.
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

Wow. These are bona fide fears for me.
 
Dv
FelaShrine said:
Dont mind me jare. Blame the parents, pidgin was banned completely :lol: I was gonna write in Yoruba since i know you understand but cant have people crying over "language" How about travel within the country? go to groupon, find some nice deals. capricorn ke? abeg na lie :lol: Cancer males are the ones that just wanna stay home and be boring, eat, work and sleep..thats why i avoid them :look: i now understand why he's stubborn about it though well does he have a problem with you going with the girls? and why do you hate movies? i know there are naija ccomedy shows every now and then..would he like that? where did you two meet? (church abi)
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Yeah, traveling within the country is an option, we just need to get in the mindset of traveling with the baby.

My DH must be a cancer in his mind,.., everything u said describes him to a T... He doesn't have a problem with me going out with the girls, although we just moved out her almost 2 years ago... My close girlfriend is like 1 hr from me and hanging out takes planning ( I need to do that Baltimore NAIJA ladies meet up on lhcf to get some more people to hang with) ... Movies.. I feel they are a waste of money... Lol... I'll watch it when it comes out on DVD..

Hehehe... @ meeting in church... Girl, if you wan abuse me, just abuse me... Lol.. We met right out of high school, and started the same college together ... We were best friends for the longest time, but had different circles.
 
I definitely did. I didn't even realize it until someone asked me what I like to do.... I couldn't remember.
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

I didn't lose myself when I got married. I still enjoy the same things I liked doing before. I'm the same person. I'm wondering if it's more common if you marry young.
 
jennboo said:
Wow. These are bona fide fears for me.
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It's not all doom and gloom, I promise. Marriage has its peaks and valleys just like everything else in life. Sometimes it just requires a little more effort to do certain things, and like someone mentioned upthread, it's not really the other person's fault. Women have always sacrificed more than men, IMO, but it is still possible to have a full and rich life as a married woman.
 
LivingInPeace said:
I didn't lose myself when I got married. I still enjoy the same things I liked doing before. I'm the same person. I'm wondering if it's more common if you marry young.
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I married young. How old were you when you got married?

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

LivingInPeace said:
I didn't lose myself when I got married. I still enjoy the same things I liked doing before. I'm the same person. I'm wondering if it's more common if you marry young.
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This is the case for my female friends and family.

The twenties--particularly early twenties--is the time of rapid compulsive change & evolution. unpredictable and unstable. it's transition from childhood to becoming a woman you will be for most of your life. The person you are 23 is usually completely different than the woman you are 33. Wheres a woman at 43 is very similar to the woman she was at 33. Relationship(s) are affected accordingly. Technically a man doesnt know who he's marrying with a young bride bc the woman doesnt know who she is since she hasnt quite figured it out yet. same thing vice versa. Both parties are usually in for a lot of surprises.
 
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Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

I don't think I married young @ 26 - cos I wanted to have kids by 30... I guess young is relative..
 
LivingInPeace said:
Thirty-three
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:)

I was 22.
I think it boils down to personalities of the couple. Pick your spouse carefully.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y
 
Eh, I married at 23 and I married a cancer. None of this applies to my marriage. Now I will say kids made a difference but that was temporary and I think a lot of new moms go through an adjustment period no matter how old they are. If kids aren't in the mix then I think it's moreso an issue of compatibility.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

Southernbella. said:
Eh, I married at 23 and I married a cancer. None of this applies to my marriage. Now I will say kids made a difference but that was temporary and I think a lot of new moms go through an adjustment period no matter how old they are. If kids aren't in the mix then I think it's moreso an issue of compatibility.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
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I think this may be more of an exception than the rule.
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

you're a Cancer as well SB. I expect you to defend your ilk :lol:
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

i agree that(for me) kids changed things much more than getting married
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

I would hope that a man who loves you would want you to be yourself after you get married. It might be disturbing for a man to marry a woman who has certain qualities and interests and then see her transform into someone he doesn't recognize because she's given up on being herself.
 
FelaShrine said:
you're a Cancer as well SB. I expect you to defend your ilk :lol:
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Well maybe we cancel each other out.:lol: The moody stuff is all true so no defense there but I would say I'm more of a homebody between the two of us. I think that's because I'm introverted and need more time to decompress. He could be out socializing and networking for 6 hours straight and I'll be in the corner drinking alone. Maybe he should be in this thread instead of me.:look::lol:

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF
 
Re: Did you lose yourself after you got married? How do you have fun while being marr

Somebody posted about having a jar with date night ideas. I can't find it because my husband and I had an early dinner with cocktails and I'm a leeeetle tipsy:blush:. Anyway, it's a great idea and I told him we're going to start writing down our ideas so we always have something to do.

barbiesocialite I married a cancer but he loves to go out! He's always trying to get me to go out and do something.

FelaShrine was the one talking about cancer men.
 
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