How Important Is Your SOs Family

[Lucie]

He must've been something.

He was hella good in bed but I had to think about all the times we would not be in bed You are so silly

 

[Lucie]

YES! I've thought about it ALOT! It's kinda scary because I don't want ANYTHING to do with them. They are a bunch of takers and I know they would never help me out so why should I help them?



No, because I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. But I think I will. It needs to be done.

I understand how you feel but that's his family and they are a package deal. When you are with someone you are with them and their entire family too for better or for worse. That's why it is best to be with someone who's family is up to par. I know how you feel because I was in your shoes 10 years ago but I am happy that I have relatively nothing to complain about with DH's family. I think coming from divorced parents made me extra cautious about being with anyone that had the same issues I guess. It was hard for me because I was so in love with him but I had to make the decision that was best for me.

Good luck

 

[Ms Red]

Hey MissFadu,

If your relationship is progressing to the point where marriage is being considered, I would seriously give your SO a trial run. By 'trial run' I mean (if you haven't already) maybe have a conversation about how his spending and lack of saving and increased drinking is scaring you/giving you second thoughts. He obviously loves you but I would just see if he is strong enough to actually do something about the situation and take action (whether that's distancing himself financially from his family and putting his foot down; drinking less; or both). I wish you both luck!!! The other ladies gave excellent advice and it's something I think about as well.

Cc

ETA: I also read the part where you said His issues are stressing YOU out. I know relationships aren't going to be a bed of roses all the time, but at this stage (you two are dating, not engaged or married), he should be uplifting you. Ask yourself what he is bringing to the relationship and if he is reciprocating. Just food for thought.

 

[Nola Darling]

Hey MissFadu,

If your relationship is progressing to the point where marriage is being considered, I would seriously give your SO a trial run. By 'trial run' I mean (if you haven't already) maybe have a conversation about how his spending and lack of saving and increased drinking is scaring you/giving you second thoughts. He obviously loves you but I would just see if he is strong enough to actually do something about the situation and take action (whether that's distancing himself financially from his family and putting his foot down; drinking less; or both). I wish you both luck!!! The other ladies gave excellent advice and it's something I think about as well.

Cc

ETA: I also read the part where you said His issues are stressing YOU out. I know relationships aren't going to be a bed of roses all the time, but at this stage (you two are dating, not engaged or married), he should be uplifting you. Ask yourself what he is bringing to the relationship and if he is reciprocating. Just food for thought.

ITA with this. The bolded has really changed my thoughts about the situation. I'm going to think on these words. Thanks so much on your input!

 

[Farida]

I would say, that even though he cut his family off, your FH has some issues to work with.

The fact that he has to give you his money so that he doesn't spend it is a HUGE red flag.

 

[Mena]

You're absolutely right!!!! They were a heavy portion of classless with a dash of ghetto. I cannot even believe I let it get as far as accepting a wedding ring from him. Thank God I did not marry him!!! Hallelujah!!!!!

This is what worries me about my ex that is trying to get back with me. His family is GHETTO! His mom doesnt care that he went to college or even got into grad school. All of this brothers and sisters had kids out of wedlock and they werent even 18 yet! There was a whole bunch of stuff while I was dating him that made me uneasy. I could just imagine the drama that would popp off if we were to get engaged. My parents would be looking at me like I am crazy. My family would probably hate on him and his family so badly. His brother has gone to jail a few times so that worries me. If we were to ever to take it to the next level, I probably wouldn't want most of his family to visit.