How do you respond when someone tells you that your hair is long?

[Sunshine0801]

I sometimes wonder what the appropriate response is when someone tells a woman that her hair is long.

I used to say "thank you" but then I started to think that a "thank you" isn't really warranted. It's not like the person is saying "I love your hair" or "That hairstyle is cute." If your hair is long, and it's obvious that it's long, then do you just say "Yes, it is" or is that considered rude?

I think of it as being comparable to saying "Your hair color is black." If it really is black, that's not the type of comment that would deserve a "thank you" since it's obviously black and therefore the comment wasn't necessarily a compliment, right?

 

[Divine_Order]

You know what..that's a good question. I find that I just smile and keep it moving.

 

[Marand13]

Usually when people tell me that my hair is long they do mean it as a compliment. But my response is always "Its not that long..." Then they proceed to ask other questions about my hair and what I do to it...

 

[Sunshine0801]

You know what..that's a good question. I find that I just smile and keep it moving.

That's what I have started to do, but sometimes folks tell me that my hair is long, and then I smile, and they just continue looking at me like they are waiting for a response. I usually say "Yes, it is..." but it's still awkward at times...erplexed

 

[Tee]

I just say thanks. But I see your point OP.

 

[Sapphire]

I never know how to respond when people says this. Saying 'thank you' doesn't seem right to me either. I usually say it doesn't seem long to me.

 

[Sunshine0801]

Usually when people tell me that my hair is long they do mean it as a compliment.

How can you tell?

When people tell me that, they're usually smiling and everything, but I guess I feel that since they're just stating the obvious, it isn't really a compliment.

 

[MizAvalon]

Saying thank you does seem odd because if your hair is long then that's just a fact and should you really be thanking people for stating a fact? Some people are using it as some kind of compliment when they say it though. I guess it just depends on their tone and the context it was said in? IDK.

 

[jerjer29]

well i'd imagine you'd say thank you, since you like your long hair and think it's good/nice to have long hair.

 

[CocoBunny]

Thank you is always appropriate.

 

[joib]

Well I don't think my hair is long enough for someone to point that out to me even though they do. I say thank you to be polite but you are right OP, what do you say. I have had people say that my hair is long and thick but if they aren't saying long, thick, AND PRETTY it's not a compliment.

 

[Sunshine0801]

Saying thank you does seem odd because if your hair is long then that's just a fact and should you really be thanking people for stating a fact? Some people are using it as some kind of compliment when they say it though. I guess it just depends on their tone and the context it was said in? IDK.

Exactly. I mean, if someone's hair isn't long, and the person making the comment knows that the person is trying to grow their hair long, then it makes more sense to me, because the person would basically be saying "I know you're trying to grow your hair long, you're making progress. Great job" even if the person's hair isn't actually long.

 

[Divine_Order]

That's what I have started to do, but sometimes folks tell me that my hair is long, and then I smile, and they just continue looking at me like they are waiting for a response. I usually say "Yes, it is..." but it's still awkward at times...erplexed

I've had that happen to me before. I used to just change the subject (ask where they got those cute pair of shoes,etc)...usually before I can even do that I get hit with "what do you do to it?" which is a great ice breaker for such a comment.

 

[sexyeyes3616]

Well my hair hasn't gotten to the length were people say wow your hair is long. But I guess my response would be thank you. But thank you is a response that doesn't really make any sense when someone says that to you.

 

[Sunshine0801]

well i'd imagine you'd say thank you, since you like your long hair and think it's good/nice to have long hair.

Yes, but what I think doesn't always relate to the person's motivation for making the comment. Not everyone thinks having long hair is good, and not everyone who tells ladies their hair is long know that the woman thinks it's good to have long hair.

 

[cheeks87]

You're overthinking it. Just say "Thank you".

It's the same if someone says, "You have such curly eyelashes!" or "What a tiny waist you have!" Technically, they didn't say, "You have pretty eyelashes!" but it's inferred since these things are seen as positive in our society. So it'd be appropriate to say Thank you.

 

[KAT25]

Maybe you should just say: "I know" (smile) and keep it moving...

 

[sexyeyes3616]

Maybe you should just say: "I know" (smile) and keep it moving...

But then they might think that was a conceited response.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Someone almost pummeled me at work a couple of days ago because I didn't agree with her that my hair is long. She has a really really short hair cut (by choice i'm sure) and my longest layer is almost APL. To me that isn't long so we had a mini argument in the office

 

[joib]

I know I am putting too much on it but do we say that to other races of women. I see a Indian women in the store and compliment her on her hair by saying "it is long". I guess to me it doesn't make any sense. It goes back to society saying that we as black women are not suppose to have long flowing hair.

 

[Violets-are-blue]

I think thank you is best. Even if you're not sure if it's a compliment. to be on the safe side ^^

Someone told me today my hair was soft like cotton on her pillow or something. I guess it's a fact that it's soft but I thought it was a lovely compliment and just said thank you and smiled.

If the person states hair is long in a negative way, you can say thank you, but more in a "i-prefer-it-that-way" way instead of a "what-a-nice-compliment-thanks" way.

 

[Sunshine0801]

You're overthinking it. Just say "Thank you".

It's the same if someone says, "You have such curly eyelashes!" or "What a tiny waist you have!" Technically, they didn't say, "You have pretty eyelashes!" but it's inferred since these things are seen as positive in our society. So it'd be appropriate to say Thank you.

In your examples, I don't think "thank you" is the appropriate response because I don't think what society views as positive necessarily indicates how one should respond unless that view is relatively universally held.

For example, if someone says "You have such a clear complexion," then yes, "thank you" is appropriate because I would think that very few people would not want clear skin. However, I don't think long hair is something that most people in society want. I could imagine someone responding "Yeah I know. I'm really in need of a haircut. I hate when my hair gets long."

 

[TaurusAngel]

My hair isn't long by our standards, APL, but when a person tells me my hair is long, i just try to not get all giddy and smile and say thanks

 

[sexyeyes3616]

I know I am putting too much on it but do we say that to other races of women. I see a Indian women in the store and compliment her on her hair by saying "it is long". I guess to me it doesn't make any sense. It goes back to society saying that we as black women are not suppose to have long flowing hair.

I agree I think most of the time people are saying that to us because they are not use to seeing us with long hair or think our hair cant grow long. And when i say us I am refering to blk women.

 

[Sunshine0801]

But then they might think that was a conceited response.

I agree. I always feel a little bad when I say "Yes, it is" as if that's not the right response either...

 

[Finewine]

Unless it's followed by a compliment, such as "so pretty, so thick, so healthy, etc." i would just smile. I can honestly say that i don't recall someone ever just saying that "my hair is long"...i would almost find it insulting if they did. It's almost like they stop just short of complimenting you, which implies that it's just long, not cute. I have had it preceded by an "ooh" which seems like a compliment, so i respond with a yes.

What's the point in stating your perception of someone's length?

 

[Neith]

If someone says "You have a nice figure" or "Your eyelashes are so long!" or "Your skin is so clear"

It's taken as a compliment even though you are obviously thin and healthy ( or plump/thick/fat or whatever looks good in that person's eyes). Your eyelashes are obviously long and your skin would be obviously clear.

Why is hair any different?

Your hair is long is usually a compliment. Long hair is considered to be feminine and pretty.

How can someone compliment something that is NOT obvious?

You kinda have to be able to observe the good trait/feature to compliment it.

A lot of people really need to learn how to take a compliment.

If you can't take a compliment, it makes me wonder how sincere your compliments actually are. Do you personally jump through hoops and try to word each of your compliments as if you were writing a thesis? Do you carefully think about how to compliment the person and make it as politically correct as possible?

No offense to anyone, including the OP.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I will laugh it of or something I don't say thank you because it seems like it would be odd to do that.

 

[Traycee]

I will laugh it of or something I don't say thank you because it seems like it would be odd to do that.

Samething I do...Or give a simple smile

 

[Finewine]

I think thank you is best. Even if you're not sure if it's a compliment. to be on the safe side ^^

Someone told me today my hair was soft like cotton on her pillow or something. I guess it's a fact that it's soft but I thought it was a lovely compliment and just said thank you and smiled.

If the person states hair is long in a negative way, you can say thank you, but more in a "i-prefer-it-that-way" way instead of a "what-a-nice-compliment-thanks" way.

the bolded seems like a compliment. I've never heard anyone say, "man, i want some hard hair...something with a straw-like texture. on the other hand, i've seen some long hair with straggly ends, that i wouldn't deem cute at all so i don't think that just stating that someone has long hair is a compliment. IThe phrase "long hair don't care" comes to mind. as in, she has long hair but doesn't care what it looks like.