How do you respond when someone tells you that your hair is long?

[Whimsy]

I say thank you when it's a complimentary way (if that makes sense)
or if it's said by a friend.

Otherwise, if it's by someone i dont' know, or don't like, I say stupid things like 'yeah, i'm trying to get into guinness' that usually shuts people up.

 

[hairdrama:{]

I love your response... smile

lol thank.........I hardly ever wear my hair "straight" down, people are used to see my braidout shrinkage and/or buns, so whenever a reveal my real length, if I get a "you hair is long" I don't take it as a compliment, but if they say "I like your hair.." then I actually thank them... and smile.

 

[hairdrama:{]

I say thank you when it's a complimentary way (if that makes sense)
or if it's said by a friend.

Otherwise, if it's by someone i dont' know, or don't like, I say stupid things like 'yeah, i'm trying to get into guinness' that usually shuts people up.

Exactly!!!!

 

[Barbara]

I normally say "Thank you."

A few will ask if its a weave. I tell them the truth: "This is my natural hair."

It doesn't look as good as a weave. That's my opinion.

 

[Barbara]

Here is a thought-
A white women came up to me in the store the other day and said " my, your hair is long". Now I took that as a compliment and said thank you ( of course with a weird expression on my face). No sooner that I finished the you on thank you she said black women can't grow long hair and that is why we wear weaves. I reminded her in a nice way that ALL women can grow their hair long and weaves were first adorned by white women. Now I assumed that her "your hair is long" comment was a compliment but how do you take it after that negative opinionated comment. I would have walked away thinking that was a compliment and it wasn't. From now on I will answer people with " OK (weird expression) thank you (weird expression) and a smile.

Good response. I'm wondering if she thought your hair was a weave.erplexed Some people want to be subtle but also want to know the truth.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

I take anything said to me as a compliment, whether they mean it that way or not doesn't matter to me.

Random person I haven't seen in years: You've gotten so big...
Me: Thanks

Random person on the street: You sure do drive awful
Me: Thanks for noticing

Man trying to holla: Hey ma!
Me: Thanks!

I don't care what someone says, I say thanks and keep it moving. I don't have time to care about their opinion. Plus I've yet to hear someone tell me my hair is long, it's usually started or ended with them telling me how soft/silky/curly/pretty/etc it is.

 

[PinkSkates]

I just smile and keep walking.

 

[NYAmicas]

Respond as you wish......and it's usually said in an admiring tone so I smile and say thanks.

 

[2themax]

I go into shock But, really this does not happen that often. So when it has happened, I usually just say something like, "Well, it's getting there....I've even asked, "you really think so?

 

[CurlyMoo]

I sometimes wonder what the appropriate response is when someone tells a woman that her hair is long.

I used to say "thank you" but then I started to think that a "thank you" isn't really warranted. It's not like the person is saying "I love your hair" or "That hairstyle is cute." If your hair is long, and it's obvious that it's long, then do you just say "Yes, it is" or is that considered rude?

I think of it as being comparable to saying "Your hair color is black." If it really is black, that's not the type of comment that would deserve a "thank you" since it's obviously black and therefore the comment wasn't necessarily a compliment, right?

You don't have to say anything. But if you feel pressured a small nod would surffice.

 

[TaurusAngel]

I agree that a "thank you" never hurts, but I don't think I'm being negative. I'm never rude to a person who says "your hair is long" and I doubt the other person feels awkward. I'm just saying that I don't think of it as a compliment. That's all.

I don't think its negative either, i mean, it is an observation technically, but you know how some people are so i just say thanks even though i know it really isn't, but it may be to them and they very well may be giving a compliment, so if they are, i'm covered with thanks, and if not, oh well, i matched their curiosity with my kindness so i win.

 

[Neith]

No, even on a basic level that is not what I'm saying.

Again, no one is expecting anyone to use proper English or complete sentences all the time.

I'm not saying the comment is "wrong" and using the word "nice" makes it right. I'm just saying it isn't a compliment. I agree with SherryLove that it's just an observation, nothing more, nothing less.

but you said it...

I didn't say you meant anything was morally wrong or right, just that you feel that you feel that there is a correct way to say a compliment and that if it's not said in that way, it seems like it becomes invalid to you.

In your example "you have a nice figure" NICE is the word that helps to make the comment a compliment. While we can go back and forth on whether "you have a figure" is a compliment or not, my point is that you can simply compliment the length of someone's hair, but saying "you have long hair" is not a compliment.

I just don't think that people are required to speak certain words to convey all their feelings about your hair. No one has to write a novella to express that they like something about your hair. It can be just a simple, 4 letter sentence, and I don't see what's wrong with that.

I've done it myself. I have told people "Your hair is shiny" "Your hair is long"... etc and the reason I pointed it out is because I see it as being a good attribute. Maybe at that moment in time I just wanted to be short, sweet and to the point. Most likely... I wasn't trying to dig down deep and fish out a good, well worded compliment. I was just saying what's on my mind. In my opinion, it's unreasonable to "require" people to say things a certain way before you take what they say as a compliment.

Usually, it is a compliment... I do not believe that the majority of people just say things directly to a person and then sit there like a cow chewing cud not expecting any kind of response or trying to communicate SOMETHING to you.

It is an observation, but what is the reason behind them having your attention and telling you if it's so obvious? Most likely, they like it and that is their way at the moment of telling you they like it. imo

Again, it works the other way too. Walk up to someone and say "You are fat" and you might get knocked out Most people would find that statement to be offensive, no? It may just be an honest observation said in a monotone voice, but that doesn't make it not mean anything. So saying something positive in the same fashion is usually a compliment.

Also I'd like to point out even if you don't feel that long hair is automatically more desirable than short hair, you MUST be aware that society as a whole views it as such. Unless you live under a rock, people are generally very aware of society's standards of beauty!

Once and a while people say to me "You have good hair" (oh brother ) and I say thank you because I know that they intend it to be a compliment. Even though I may school them on good and bad hair at the same time, I know that they were pointing it out as something that is positive/out of the norm in their eyes and I've learned to be greatful when I receive compliments of any sort... but that's just me.

Obviously some people at least partially agree with me. I'm not coming from left field with some straight craziness, lol. I'll have to agree to disagree.

I personally find it to be slightly arrogant, but eh... aint none of us perfect.

You posted with the intent to get opinions and have a discussion, well that's my 2 cents.

 

[joib]

Good response. I'm wondering if she thought your hair was a weave.erplexed Some people want to be subtle but also want to know the truth.

She probably thought it was a weave like most people do. When I get asked that comment I just smile and tell them I would never buy a weave with this must gray hair in it. I don't take that as a negative comment if it is asked in a question, now if you just assume it is a weave -that's a problem.

 

[Sunshine0801]

but you said it...

I didn't say you meant anything was morally wrong or right, just that you feel that you feel that there is a correct way to say a compliment and that if it's not said in that way, it seems like it becomes invalid to you.




I just don't think that people are required to speak certain words to convey all their feelings about your hair. No one has to write a novella to express that they like something about your hair. It can be just a simple, 4 letter sentence, and I don't see what's wrong with that.

I've done it myself. I have told people "Your hair is shiny" "Your hair is long"... etc and the reason I pointed it out is because I see it as being a good attribute. Maybe at that moment in time I just wanted to be short, sweet and to the point. Most likely... I wasn't trying to dig down deep and fish out a good, well worded compliment. I was just saying what's on my mind. In my opinion, it's unreasonable to "require" people to say things a certain way before you take what they say as a compliment.

Usually, it is a compliment... I do not believe that the majority of people just say things directly to a person and then sit there like a cow chewing cud not expecting any kind of response or trying to communicate SOMETHING to you.

It is an observation, but what is the reason behind them having your attention and telling you if it's so obvious? Most likely, they like it and that is their way at the moment of telling you they like it. imo

Again, it works the other way too. Walk up to someone and say "You are fat" and you might get knocked out Most people would find that statement to be offensive, no? It may just be an honest observation said in a monotone voice, but that doesn't make it not mean anything. So saying something positive in the same fashion is usually a compliment.

Also I'd like to point out even if you don't feel that long hair is automatically more desirable than short hair, you MUST be aware that society as a whole views it as such. Unless you live under a rock, people are generally very aware of society's standards of beauty!

Once and a while people say to me "You have good hair" (oh brother ) and I say thank you because I know that they intend it to be a compliment. Even though I may school them on good and bad hair at the same time, I know that they were pointing it out as something that is positive/out of the norm in their eyes and I've learned to be greatful when I receive compliments of any sort... but that's just me.

Obviously some people at least partially agree with me. I'm not coming from left field with some straight craziness, lol. I'll have to agree to disagree.

I personally find it to be slightly arrogant, but eh... aint none of us perfect.

You posted with the intent to get opinions and have a discussion, well that's my 2 cents.

Fair enough.

Thanks!

 

[chavascandy]

saying 'Thank You' doesn't seem to hurt...I just say it and keep it moving.

 

[sunnydaze]

I dunno..I would receive it as a compliment and say "thank you" b/c most of the time, I believe that is what they intended. I know that long hair takes maintenance and work so I see a comment on it as complimentary.

Thinking back to the times I have said "your hair is so long" to someone, I meant it as a compliment.

 

[CocoBunny]

If someone says "You have a nice figure" or "Your eyelashes are so long!" or "Your skin is so clear"

It's taken as a compliment even though you are obviously thin and healthy ( or plump/thick/fat or whatever looks good in that person's eyes). Your eyelashes are obviously long and your skin would be obviously clear.

Why is hair any different?

Your hair is long is usually a compliment. Long hair is considered to be feminine and pretty.

How can someone compliment something that is NOT obvious?

You kinda have to be able to observe the good trait/feature to compliment it.

A lot of people really need to learn how to take a compliment.

If you can't take a compliment, it makes me wonder how sincere your compliments actually are. Do you personally jump through hoops and try to word each of your compliments as if you were writing a thesis? Do you carefully think about how to compliment the person and make it as politically correct as possible?

No offense to anyone, including the OP.

I totally agree!

 

[Mrs.Green]

I just flash a warm smile and respond, "yes it is."

This is my response~ Though I've only started getting the your hair is long statement since reaching APL. I guess my hair was Shoulder Length so long the Your Hair is Long statement is kinda like WOW your hair really grew.

 

[IWantBSl09]

You know what..that's a good question. I find that I just smile and keep it moving.

Hey your siggy pic is my background picture for my desktop! Cool! It's such a beautiful picture

 

[SandySea]

Thank you is appropriate because it's most likely a compliment when someone tells you your hair is long, especially in our community.

 

[yuriko]

I know, any black girl knows that being told that she is long hair by another black hair is a compliment

 

[Morenita]

You're overthinking it. Just say "Thank you".

It's the same if someone says, "You have such curly eyelashes!" or "What a tiny waist you have!" Technically, they didn't say, "You have pretty eyelashes!" but it's inferred since these things are seen as positive in our society. So it'd be appropriate to say Thank you.

That's a good way to look at it.

It depends for me. My friends and family members have commented a lot the last 6 months on how long my hair has gotten. If they are gushing and saying, "Wow! Your hair has gotten really long!" then I feel that the appropriate response is to say thank you. A couple of times with friends however, I have just simply smiled. Once I simply said "Thank you, I'm letting it grow..." to avoid that awkwardness.

ITA with the bolded though, yes, the person is pointing out the obvious, but it's going to be a compliment coming from most people more often than not. I've heard all of my life that I'm so skinny, and while I don't always think that's a compliment (whole 'nother issue ) I have learned to take it as such, depending on the context (99/100 times it's positive).

 

[Solitude]

Can't wait to have this problem....

Thank you seems nice & appropriate. I told this girl at my school with wl hair, wow your hair is long. I wasn't trying to be a groupie, I was just really surprised b/c she always wears it up. She just smiled & I understood that there wasn't anything for her to say.

 

[sexyeyes3616]

Can't wait to have this problem....

Thank you seems nice & appropriate. I told this girl at my school with wl hair, wow your hair is long. I wasn't trying to be a groupie, I was just really surprised b/c she always wears it up. She just smiled & I understood that there wasn't anything for her to say.

Same here

 

[malachi74]

I smile and say, yeah, I've been trying to grow it out.

 

[malachi74]

YES! I got a chance to experience receiving this compliment today and I was so tickled on the inside . About 98% of the time I wear my hair in a bun to work. My coworker was walking by while I was standing at my assistant's desk and she was like "wow, your hair's long!" (mind you I JUST made APL). She caught me off guard a lil' bit so I couldn't remember all the nice things y'all said we should say so as not to sound rude/conceited. I smiled and said "Yeah, it is!". Now I feel like maybe that came off rude.

 

[Christina Dior]

nope not yet! ill condider it long at apl

 

[remnant]

Thank you

 

[Roland]

I just say thank you since it's usually meant as a compliment.

 

[Carrie A]

I'm looking forward to this comment one day. The last time I got these comments I was a kid but I'm not sure how much of a complement it was. When I would go to a salon various stylists would say. "Expletive, Whew that child got some hair on her head!" I would cringe because I knew they were like. (I'm glad I don't have to do that hair.)