hunnychile
Well-Known Member
Snip. Settled.
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From what I've seen/heard from others with boyfriends with problematic, difficult, codependent, etc. type of mothers is that the problem will (not maybe) only get worse. And it can't be you setting your foot down, it has to him. You can't wait until after you're married. At this point if he isn't willing to change the dynamic of his relationship with his mother, it won't magically happen and is less likely to occur after marriage. I think you need to figure out how much this bothers you now before you get marriage and whether it's make or break.
Do you think you could talk to him about this and much of a problem you think this is? Do you think you could ask him to talk his mother out of moving also? Then you have to think about what if he doesn't want to say anything to his mom or he doesn't convince her.
his mom is going to move to another state with her son but live in a different house?
that sounds crazy as hell to me but as long as she wouldnt be living with you i dont think i would care if it were me. other than the obvious mommy issues but as far as the actual moving this wouldnt make me not move if i really wanted to.
I say break up with him. His mom IS crazy. Not, 'she might be ', but IS. She's following her son to another state? Please lol. and the fact that he doesn't understand that, is bad. You said you've only been together a year? Get out while you can.
(This is probably impractical advice my bad lol)
And I don't think there is such a thing as a sahg. I mean I guess there is. .but you're not legally protected if something were to happen. in America.
Hey, how old are yall both?
Does he live at home with his Mom now? Why does she want to move with him? Does he support her? What about her other children?
Something is very off about this and the fact that he does not see that is concerning. I would breakup with him, not because his mom wants to move too, but because he does not see the problem with that. I can see much bigger issues with this thought process later on in the relationship.
bc if yall move up there and he nuts up and kick you out, where you gonna go? You get there and can't find a job and then you stuck like chuck.Why should I get married before I move? Just curious. I am young with no kids, no career, and no real ties to where am I now. If we didn't work out I would just keep it moving. What would marriage change?
Why should I get married before I move? Just curious.
I am young with no kids, no career, and no real ties to where am I now. If we didn't work out I would just keep it moving.
What would marriage change?
bc if yall move up there and he nuts up and kick you out, where you gonna go? You get there and can't find a job and then you stuck like chuck.
ok hunnychile (your name fits lol)I would just go back home.
ok hunnychile (your name fits lol)
Where is sunnieb? I love her relationship posts too.
I wouldn't move with someone I'm not married to either.
If something happens to your boyfriend God forbid, you get nothing. Actually the mother would get it. If he breaks up with you, that's it for you, but his mama will always be his mama.
If you insist on moving and not be married, at least get a job/career.
I have more to say but I'll leave it at that.
I usually wouldn't but circumstances are different here. I really wish I could give you guys more details but I will say that this is student loan bf....he says won't give me any money unless I move. I'm thinking maybe finding a job and moving on my own to the same town. I am very attached to my independence so the whole moving in thing is a topic I haven't seriously reflected on just yet.
At student loan boyfriend. If it's temporary and you're okay with it go for it! I just would never give the impression that I'm okay dropping everything (not matter how big or small) to follow a man that's not my husband around. That is my reasoning.