Home alone

[syze6]

For those who are in relationhips who have children, how often do you stay away from home?

My friend has 5 children, the oldest just turned 18. She has a boyfriend whom she stays at his apartment alot. She will stay at his apartment 4 consecutive nights, then when it's time to come home, he comes with her. During this time, her children are home alone. In other instances, she may stay consecutive nights and come home one day and go back. He mostly likes being in his own space, so she is mostly over there. I'm thinking what kind of man, wants you under him, knowing your childen are home alone. He has children but they are with the mother. I know the eighteen year old is considered an adult but I'm wondering if it's that serious. She gets off work on friday, drops them food and head straight over his house. She goes to work from there and back to his home. She may not come home again until Tuesday for a day or two. I'm wondering if she's sacrificing her children's well being to be under this guy. He is very controlling and insecure at that.

 

[LilMissRed]

my kids are still pretty young 2,12,15.... We've only left the 2 oldest home for a couple hours..never over nite

 

[MixedBerry]

Wow, the things that can go on while mom is away...

 

[lexi08]

This would not be me. The GOOD men that I know would not be ok with a mother spending nights away from her children like that. They would not even suggest it and would side eye a woman if this is something she initiated.

 

[syze6]

Wow, the things that can go on while mom is away...

That's exactly what I was thinking. Her sister is always complaining about it but she doesn't see an issue. Her husband who she is separated from and lives in another state dislikes it. When he tells her she needs to respect herself and her kids, she calls me crying. She calls him when the kids are not being respectful and she gets mad when he doesn't come to her rescue. He tells her, they are acting up because she is never there. Therefore, they are doing what they want.

 

[MzLady78]

For those who are in relationhips who have children, how often do you stay away from home?

My friend has 5 children, the oldest just turned 18. She has a boyfriend whom she stays at his apartment alot. She will stay at his apartment 4 consecutive nights, then when it's time to come home, he comes with her. During this time, her children are home alone. In other instances, she may stay consecutive nights and come home one day and go back. He mostly likes being in his own space, so she is mostly over there. I'm thinking what kind of man, wants you under him, knowing your childen are home alone. He has children but they are with the mother. I know the eighteen year old is considered an adult but I'm wondering if it's that serious. She gets off work on friday, drops them food and head straight over his house. She goes to work from there and back to his home. She may not come home again until Tuesday for a day or two. I'm wondering if she's sacrificing her children's well being to be under this guy. He is very controlling and insecure at that.

This is so not a good look. At all.

 

[MzLady78]

This would not be me. The GOOD men that I know would not be ok with a mother spending nights away from her children like that. They would not even suggest it and would side eye a woman if this is something she initiated.

I agree. Any man worth a damn would take issue with this.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

If I were 18 and saddled with the responsibility of caring for 4 siblings every weekend so my mom could go play hid the remote with the Grinch, I'd map an escape route post haste. Then I'd sit back from afar and say "Whatcha gon' do now, Mama?"

I mean, who helps the kids with their homework? Who asks how their day was or what their friends talked about? What do they do on weekends? Who makes sure they're washed and dressed right? Tucked in at night? If the 18 year old's got the little kids, who's got the 18 year old?

 

[MayaB12]

For those who are in relationhips who have children, how often do you stay away from home?

My friend has 5 children, the oldest just turned 18. She has a boyfriend whom she stays at his apartment alot. She will stay at his apartment 4 consecutive nights, then when it's time to come home, he comes with her. During this time, her children are home alone. In other instances, she may stay consecutive nights and come home one day and go back. He mostly likes being in his own space, so she is mostly over there. I'm thinking what kind of man, wants you under him, knowing your childen are home alone. He has children but they are with the mother. I know the eighteen year old is considered an adult but I'm wondering if it's that serious. She gets off work on friday, drops them food and head straight over his house. She goes to work from there and back to his home. She may not come home again until Tuesday for a day or two. I'm wondering if she's sacrificing her children's well being to be under this guy. He is very controlling and insecure at that.

What kind of foolishness is this? How old is this woman? Why have 5 children if she wants to act like a teenager. The 18 year old is not the children's mother -I'm sick of people putting men before their children.

 

[aribell]

This sounds like a situation that could easily turn into one in which social services ends up involved.

 

[syze6]

If I were 18 and saddled with the responsibility of caring for 4 siblings every weekend so my mom could go play hid the remote with the Grinch, I'd map an escape route post haste. Then I'd sit back from afar and say "Whatcha gon' do now, Mama?"

I mean, who helps the kids with their homework? Who asks how their day was or what their friends talked about? What do they do on weekends? Who makes sure they're washed and dressed right? Tucked in at night? If the 18 year old's got the little kids, who's got the 18 year old?

The 18 year old has a field day smoking weed in the house. Their ages range from 18-13 and three are sexually active. Those kids love it, so she seems to think. When I ask her what do they say about her being gone she says, they say nothing. I'm suprised she would leave them alone so much considering she was pregnant twice before graduating highschool. I think my friend is needy and can't be alone. When the dad comes and has the kids, she will go home from a 4 day straight stay away. She can't spend three hours in house by herself before, she's back over there! My personal opinion is she does all that to make him feel secure. He is so insecure, he gets on my nerves!

 

[MzLady78]

The 18 year old has a field day smoking weed in the house. Their ages range from 18-13 and three are sexually active. Those kids love it, so she seems to think. When I ask her what do they say about her being gone she says, they say nothing. I'm suprised she would leave them alone so much considering she was pregnant twice before graduating highschool. I think my friend is needy and can't be alone. When the dad comes and has the kids, she will go home from a 4 day straight stay away. She can't spend three hours in house by herself before, she's back over there! My personal opinion is she does all that to make him feel secure. He is so insecure, he gets on my nerves!

All of this right here is why it's damn shame that any fool can bring a child into the world.

Sorry to talk about your friend like that, but seriously, WTF man?

I have a cousin with 3 girls who liked to run the streets like she didn't have any responsibilities. Guess who became a grandmother at 35?

 

[Pat Mahurr]

The 18 year old has a field day smoking weed in the house. Their ages range from 18-13 and three are sexually active. Those kids love it, so she seems to think. When I ask her what do they say about her being gone she says, they say nothing. I'm suprised she would leave them alone so much considering she was pregnant twice before graduating highschool. I think my friend is needy and can't be alone. When the dad comes and has the kids, she will go home from a 4 day straight stay away. She can't spend three hours in house by herself before, she's back over there! My personal opinion is she does all that to make him feel secure. He is so insecure, he gets on my nerves!

SHE sounds insecure, too from the bolded.

She's probably afraid that if she's alone for too long, her conscience will finally speak up and blast her for the she's making.

Oh my gosh, lady. Raise your kids! You can at least try to keep them from doing what you did! It's not too late yet!

Ugh!

 

[LunadeMiel]

I know this is your friend, but she is a poor parent Her ex need to take those kids.

 

[syze6]

Yeah..I try to talk to her but she gets very upset. She has no reason to be insecure withthis fool. He doesn't work and was collecting unemployment on hi slast extention when she got with him. He was fired from his job for a bad drop, that's after being suspended before. He checked her company phone as he checks both her phones and found a text from this guy. So he's in an insecure uproar about their relationship and such. He tells her to change the number and he doesn't care what she has to tell her boss. So now she has changed it and is trying to do everything to make him secure. Her own mother has expressed concerns with him. IDK about my friend, but I know I wouldn't leave my kids at home laying under a man. She says, that's her break from them when she is over there. It's a two bedroom apt. that the dude shares with his dad and the cousin sleeps on the couch in the living room!

 

[fattyfatfat]

oh heeellllllllll naw! !!!!!!

Yeah..I try to talk to her but she gets very upset. She has no reason to be insecure withthis fool. He doesn't work and was collecting unemployment on hi slast extention when she got with him. He was fired from his job for a bad drop, that's after being suspended before. He checked her company phone as he checks both her phones and found a text from this guy. So he's in an insecure uproar about their relationship and such. He tells her to change the number and he doesn't care what she has to tell her boss. So now she has changed it and is trying to do everything to make him secure. Her own mother has expressed concerns with him. IDK about my friend, but I know I wouldn't leave my kids at home laying under a man. She says, that's her break from there when she is over there. It's a two bedroom apt. that the dude shares with his dad and the cousin sleeps on the couch in the living room!

 

[locabouthair]

Your friend has her priorities all mixed up. How do you have 5 kids and leave them alone most of the time?

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

What a horrible example she's setting for her children

How old is the youngest child? And she's gone for days at a time just like she no longer has to parent?

I'm sure her kids miss her.

She sounds really, really pathetic.

ETA: I see the youngest is 13. Still ages in which they need their mom at home--even some 18 year olds need the presence of a stable parent at home---total dysfunction.

 

[ThickHair]

If I were 18 and saddled with the responsibility of caring for 4 siblings every weekend so my mom could go play hid the remote with the Grinch, I'd map an escape route post haste. Then I'd sit back from afar and say "Whatcha gon' do now, Mama?"

I mean, who helps the kids with their homework? Who asks how their day was or what their friends talked about? What do they do on weekends? Who makes sure they're washed and dressed right? Tucked in at night? If the 18 year old's got the little kids, who's got the 18 year old?

I so hate when parents make the older kids take care of the younger kids.

The 18 year old has a field day smoking weed in the house. Their ages range from 18-13 and three are sexually active. Those kids love it, so she seems to think. When I ask her what do they say about her being gone she says, they say nothing. I'm suprised she would leave them alone so much considering she was pregnant twice before graduating highschool. I think my friend is needy and can't be alone. When the dad comes and has the kids, she will go home from a 4 day straight stay away. She can't spend three hours in house by herself before, she's back over there! My personal opinion is she does all that to make him feel secure. He is so insecure, he gets on my nerves!

I am sure your friend is going to be pissed when one of her children end up pregnant or some serious stuff goes down at her house.

Plus dude is unemployed, living with his daddy and his cousin. Ew, if they are all men, that bathroom alone would keep me from spending the night. Aint no way in heck the house is presentable. She is seriously d!ckamtized. I couldn't be d!ckamtized by a lazy, no job having dude.

In the words of ThatJerseyGirl, "my puddi don't get wet" for stuff like that.

 

[intergalacticartist]

[flavor flav]Woooooooooow[/flavor falv]
I can't believe the f*ckery I just read. Actually, I can and it's sad. That woman need a swift kick in the head.

We wouldn't be friends no more either

 

[Etherealsmile]

I"m sorry but some people don't have any business having children. She sounds like a sorry excuse of a mother

 

[TayMac]

That's not a good look. How old is your friend?

I wouldn't leave a bunch of teens home alone...who knows what the oldest one is exposing the younger teen to.

 

[anon123]

Did you say she has 5 children all between the ages of 13 and 18? Just want to make sure I got that part right.

 

[metro_qt]

That's exactly what I was thinking. Her sister is always complaining about it but she doesn't see an issue. Her husband who she is separated from and lives in another state dislikes it. When he tells her she needs to respect herself and her kids, she calls me crying. She calls him when the kids are not being respectful and she gets mad when he doesn't come to her rescue. He tells her, they are acting up because she is never there. Therefore, they are doing what they want.

This shows me that NOBODY is there for the support and well-being of those children.

Sure the husband is in another state... but he 'dislikes' it?

His children aren't properly being cared for on a daily basis, and he 'dislikes' it?

Should a house fire happen and all children die, on one of the days the mother isn't there... and maybe the 18 year old stepped out to do their own thing, who's fault is it?

Certainly not the children's.

 

[LongTimeComing]

Neither him or her are worth 2 dead flies. If he likes his space he needs to find a woman without children.

She need not be mad when her 14 year old is pregnant next year.

Do you have an address for them so I can send the 18 y/o a donation to her 'moving out fund'?

ETA- I just reread the thread... he ain't got no job or unemployment check?!? And he making demands?

*throws down the mike and walks off stage*

 

[southernchocolate]

No offense OP but I would like to punch both your friend and her stank arse boyfriend in the thoke. Tis all.

 

[crlsweetie912]

WOW.....
This is so sad....The girl that was just found dead after being missing since just after Christmas here in Baltimore, was at a house with her older sibling just before she came up missing....ANYTHING could be going on in that house! Strange men in and out, people watching who know that no adult is there at any time, waiting to rob/rape those poor children. It takes a lot more than just having a baby to be a MOTHER....I sure wouldn't want to be with any man who is OK with me leaving my kids alone for days at a time while laying up under him!
I agree that the family/husband need to step in ASAP!

 

[syze6]

WOW.....
This is so sad....The girl that was just found dead after being missing since just after Christmas here in Baltimore, was at a house with her older sibling just before she came up missing....ANYTHING could be going on in that house! Strange men in and out, people watching who know that no adult is there at any time, waiting to rob/rape those poor children. It takes a lot more than just having a baby to be a MOTHER....I sure wouldn't want to be with any man who is OK with me leaving my kids alone for days at a time while laying up under him!
I agree that the family/husband need to step in ASAP!

Oh wow..that is so sad! I think of that all that time and I tell her that. When I was dating and didn't have children, the most I spend the night out was on weekends. During the week I was at my place, getting up working and coming back home! I pray nothing ever happens to my god children! Her and hubby are seperated but not divorced. He doesn't want the divorce and he moved away. I thought that was weak of him to relocate to another state, because he couldn't deal with his emotions. He left behind 5 children like it was all or nothing. I have little respect for him, because his children still needed him. He couldn't have her so he left like a chump.

There isn't a man on earth that will make me spend nights away from MY children! I think they both may be insecure and needy. She defines herself through a man and it's sad. Out of 7 days she may spend two or three nights there. Before they were together every night! Either at his house or hers and I thought that was a bit much. I hate to call her because he is always right under her. You can hear dude talking, she's always laying under him. It's just really a sad case, that she is fighting so hard to keep him. She won't even cook dinner for her own kids, she leaves it up to them to find something. Let that neegrow want something, she in the kitchen like Aunt Jamamma!

I am married and do not spend that much time under my husband. I have my own identity and life besides the one we have together. She chalks it up to me not be very affectionate and lovey dovey. Girl bye!

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Yeah..I try to talk to her but she gets very upset. She has no reason to be insecure withthis fool. He doesn't work and was collecting unemployment on hi slast extention when she got with him. He was fired from his job for a bad drop, that's after being suspended before. He checked her company phone as he checks both her phones and found a text from this guy. So he's in an insecure uproar about their relationship and such. He tells her to change the number and he doesn't care what she has to tell her boss. So now she has changed it and is trying to do everything to make him secure. Her own mother has expressed concerns with him. IDK about my friend, but I know I wouldn't leave my kids at home laying under a man. She says, that's her break from them when she is over there. It's a two bedroom apt. that the dude shares with his dad and the cousin sleeps on the couch in the living room!

OK, so as if the original post about her leaving her kids alone for up to 4 DAYS wasn't enough, this post right here has me staring at my computer with a blank face. She is giving up ALL this time with her children for this? (Not that it would be better if he wasn't a troll, but I would understand the logic.) I do not understand why some women want to keep a man even if there is nothing about him that is desirable. And on top of all this brokeness, I know he must be crazy too because any sane person would be giving her a sideeye.

 

[syze6]

OK, so as if the original post about her leaving her kids alone for up to 4 DAYS wasn't enough, this post right here has me staring at my computer with a blank face. She is giving up ALL this time with her children for this? (Not that it would be better if he wasn't a troll, but I would understand the logic.) I do not understand why some women want to keep a man even if there is nothing about him that is desirable. And on top of all this brokeness, I know he must be crazy too because any sane person would be giving her a sideeye.

Yep..any sane man wouldn't want her laying under him, with children at home! She is talking about mareying him and he can't find a job with his record. It's takes more than love to substain a marriage and the financial part gets the best of marriages. I think it's funny....she married her first husband when he was unemployed. He had a pattern of getting jobs quitting and getting fired. Okay..he had a check coming in wach month, but they were struggling to pay bills. It was all on her! Why she thinks because this dude treats her good, it outweighs reality! He should run your bath water and wash clothes etc. He has nothing but time to do it...and he doesn't even have his own car!