His ex boyfriend

[celiabug]

I feel like this is a sign to stop dating for awhile lol.

So this guy has been pursuing me for the past few weeks. I've seen him at a few parties and he always tries to talk to be . He's really attractive like super fine. I give him my number and he calls me. Yesterday we go out together and we are having a good time. At the end of the night when we are going home he says something about his ex boyfriend.

I ignore it and act like I didn't hear it. Today I ask my friend who's is also friends with him if he's bi. She tells me I probably heard him wrong and should talk to him again. I REALLY don't think I heard him wrong but idk.

Should I come out and ask him?? I'm kinda in shock lol

 

[Keen]

That would be a deal breaker for me. So, I would ask straight up.

 

[kandake]

Yes, you should ask. I would have said something when he first mentioned it.

 

[Buckeyecurlz]

I would definitely ask him...in person too!!!

 

[celiabug]

Yes, you should ask. I would have said something when he first mentioned it.

I should have I just didn't know what to say. It caught me off guard. I've never been in this situation before.

 

[Nazaneen]

If you ask him about it now he may lie to cover it up... so you can never really trust him.
Would have been best to ask immediately after he said it and gauge his reaction. I'd still ask though, he might be open about it since he dared to say ex bf unless that was a slip up lol.

 

[Simply_elle]

YES,

Men having sex with other men, is something icant. It's too risky, and I can't see a straight man call any ninja his "boyfriend".

Sorry he put you in this predicament. As they said on sex and the city.... "Everyone usually ends up with men..."

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[blackmaven]

I would have said your BOYFRIEND...Naw son bye .....HIV still exist...

 

[sylver2]

lol shoot thats one of my First questions. along with do u have any kids, are u single, ....do u date men also lol.

 

[blackmaven]

Syler2

Not the first question

 

[Chrismiss]

Nope. He could've been testing you to see your response and I think the fact that you didnt respond was great. Go ahead and fade him to black. Either he's bi or he plays mind games.

 

[Kerryann]

I don't care but he won't be dating me smdh.... My friend just dropped a guy because of this same situation

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Uhhh. For some reason, I don't think you misheard him. Obviously I cant be sure BC you aren't even sure, but I could definitely see him trying to get that out of the way in the beginning and just slipping it in there. I don't think you misheard BC, how would you think you heard THAT? Girl no. You heard him.

 

[ms.mimi]

It's a wrap. Believe your ears. I would go out with him again and be friends but nothing more. My dd has several gay friends and they're all sweethearts. nono: one had a huge crush on her, now they are bff's)
Assume you heard right and just ask something like ...."so, how long were you and your ex boyfriend together?"

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

It's a wrap. Believe your ears. I would go out with him again and be friends but nothing more. My dd has several gay friends and they're all sweethearts. nono: one had a huge crush on her, now they are bff's)
Assume you heard right and just ask something like ...."so, how long were you and your ex boyfriend together?"

I went out with a guy a few years ago who supposedly had "a crush" on me for years. I had assumed he was gay when I first met him but when I got out of a relationship and he asked me out again, I convinced myself otherwise. He was and is the sweetest guy--best Valentine's Day ever -- but when last I saw him, he is gay and openly (now) talks to my best male friend (who happens to be gay) about Hus relationships, so its no longer speculation on my part. I'm not saying that every man should be considered suspect until proven otherwise--I AM CERTAINLY NOT SAYING THAT-- but I do think you have to trust your instincts in most cases. And trust your ears IN ALL CASES. If you heard it, you heard it.

 

[Duff]

I would have checked that immediately but I understand you being surprised.

Eh, for me, there is no point bringing it up now. I would just be ghost.

if he says yes, I've dated men; I'm out. or he says, no, you misunderstood, I've never dated or been with men; I'm still out cause I would not believe him. you know what you heard. plus I'm not looking for new friends.

sorry this happened to you......

 

[Britt]

My ears would be turned off after everything he said after ex boyfriend, I'd be in a daze and my only takeaway would be "ex boyfriend"... No further discussion would be necessary.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I feel like this is a sign to stop dating for awhile lol.

So this guy has been pursuing me for the past few weeks. I've seen him at a few parties and he always tries to talk to be . He's really attractive like super fine. I give him my number and he calls me. Yesterday we go out together and we are having a good time. At the end of the night when we are going home he says something about his ex boyfriend.

I ignore it and act like I didn't hear it. Today I ask my friend who's is also friends with him if he's bi. She tells me I probably heard him wrong and should talk to him again. I REALLY don't think I heard him wrong but idk.

Should I come out and ask him?? I'm kinda in shock lol

Wait....the two bolded statements dumbfound me. There is NO WAY I could EVER ignore that. IMMEDIATELY I would have been like "wait, what?" That's like somebody saying "I smacked the ish out of a newborn" and I just act like I didnt hear it. In other words the statement would have jolted me just the same.

 

[Bublin]

Wait....the two bolded statements dumbfound me. There is NO WAY I could EVER ignore that. IMMEDIATELY I would have been like "wait, what?" That's like somebody saying "I smacked the ish out of a newborn" and I just act like I didnt hear it. In other words the statement would have jolted me just the same.

IMO OP is hoping she mis-heard.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

IMO OP is hoping she mis-heard.

I agree. That's why I'm like "girl, you heard it!" I'm sorry, cause it sucks that he was fine, but do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars

 

[celiabug]

Wait....the two bolded statements dumbfound me. There is NO WAY I could EVER ignore that. IMMEDIATELY I would have been like "wait, what?" That's like somebody saying "I smacked the ish out of a newborn" and I just act like I didnt hear it. In other words the statement would have jolted me just the same.

I didn't know what to say I was just in shock. He said it under his breath and so I know he was hesitant about it and I didn't wanna be confrontational so I just ignored it. Plus I had to go get water to get the ice off my windshield

 

[CaraWalker]

when it comes up you have to be friendly and smiley about it like it is of no concern to anyone, then as soon as the date/conversation/meal/movie is over, politely never contact him again.

if you act weird or defensive about it, they will lie and the most important thing is not what someone else does with their body, but that you can make an informed opinion about YOUR body with accurate information

e: i mean this generally, to be done with all men. not the guy in the op. thats a done deal

 

[LovelyRo]

This is not even worth investigating... Trust what you heard and keep it moving!!!

 

[PopLife]

My ears would be turned off after everything he said after ex boyfriend, I'd be in a daze and my only takeaway would be "ex boyfriend"... No further discussion would be necessary.

This is so me...everything after that comment would be null and void.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I didn't know what to say I was just in shock. He said it under his breath and so I know he was hesitant about it and I didn't wanna be confrontational so I just ignored it. Plus I had to go get water to get the ice off my windshield

I hear you. But take heed now. We dont want to share men with other women let alone other men. Yuck. Stating he has an ex boyfriend says loud and clear "I sleep with other men and could do it at any time while in a relationship with you"

 

[prettyinpurple]

Y'all are hilarious and slightly mental.

I hear you. But take heed now. We dont want to share men with other women let alone other men. Yuck. Stating he has an ex boyfriend says loud and clear "I sleep with other men and could do it at any time while in a relationship with you"

Seriously? I'm sure there are plenty of bi people who are monogamous.

At least he's trying to be upfront right? Ask and get a clear answer since it is bothering you. Move him to the friendship lane if a relationship won't work for you. I see no reason to write him off completely or be a jerk about it.

It sounds as if you know some common ppl, so someone knows and can inform you if needed. Sounds like he had a boyfriend and didn't hide it.

As far as STDs and unprotected sex, I'd have more faith that someone who's honest about their sexuality is doing the right thing over someone who's hiding it.

ETA: Do whatever is comfortable for you in the end.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Y'all are hilarious and slightly mental.



Seriously? I'm sure there are plenty of bi people who are monogamous.

At least he's trying to be upfront right? Ask and get a clear answer since it is bothering you. Move him to the friendship lane if a relationship won't work for you. I see no reason to write him off completely or be a jerk about it.

It sounds as if you know some common ppl, so someone knows and can inform you if needed. Sounds like he had a boyfriend and didn't hide it.

As far as STDs and unprotected sex, I'd have more faith that someone who's honest about their sexuality is doing the right thing over someone who's hiding it.

ETA: Do whatever is comfortable for you in the end.

Lol @ slightly mental. Ok. I still stand my my opinion. And yes I am aware that there may be bisexuals who are monogamous. But truthfully just knowing that you are a man attracted to other men...turns ME off....so I guess it makes me more critical of the entire situation so my pov seems dramatic.

 

[Nazaneen]

It's no myth that the risk of contracting HIV from someone who sleeps with other men is considerably higher than if a man is simply a slut with other women... all you have to do is view the stats on MSM. Men who sleep with men may also sleep with women...
It's not that I expect OP to not be smart about protecting herself but just why even get to that point with this dude? In this case, OP was forewarned...
I'd still ask him about the bf just for the hell of it lol.

 

[danniegirl]

I would have said your BOYFRIEND...Naw son bye .....HIV still exist...

and only gay man have it now ?

 

[danniegirl]

Y'all are hilarious and slightly mental.



Seriously? I'm sure there are plenty of bi people who are monogamous.

At least he's trying to be upfront right? Ask and get a clear answer since it is bothering you. Move him to the friendship lane if a relationship won't work for you. I see no reason to write him off completely or be a jerk about it.

It sounds as if you know some common ppl, so someone knows and can inform you if needed. Sounds like he had a boyfriend and didn't hide it.

As far as STDs and unprotected sex, I'd have more faith that someone who's honest about their sexuality is doing the right thing over someone who's hiding it.

ETA: Do whatever is comfortable for you in the end.

thank you

Op i believe if he said it more then likely he wasn't "slipping" he was putting it out there and being honest from the start

i would ask him openly and respectfully there is no need to over analyze the situation even though it may be a bit uncomfortable for you if you know that you would not date a bisexual man then you need to make sure he is not.