Healthy Hair Practices Are Uncool to society.

[SimpleKomplexity]

Girl: (relaxing my hair). This dun make no sense. Your hair is too nappy. How many weeks has it been since u had a perm? (Ten).
Girl: So um...I was just wondering why do you wait so long to get your relaxers
Me: Well I have fine hair and my hair is so thin when I get a "perm" every 5 weeks. Instead I wait 8 weeks or longer
Girl: ohhh. .....Your hair always nappy...that aint kute
Girl 2: Kristen hair so nappy she need to get a perm every 4 weeks. My sister does that and her hair is fine. It's thick and healthy (and neck length lemme aid) Getting a relaxer doesn't give you breakage. Not getting on does.... With your hair being so nappy, I think you really need to start getting a perm every 3 weeks because your hair is too thick, and people don't like seeing...
Kristen: I guess... Well I think otherwise and so does my hair which is why I wait to get a perm

lol Please help me educate our young sisters that this is hindering our growth. GETTING A "PERM" every 3 weeks is NOT healthy. It's not healthy at ALL. lol I keep telling my girls this. They see my hair is healthy even when I wait to get relaxers. It has gotten a lot thicker too. They see it's longer even after I wait to get relaxers. It does not get a lot of breakage. Why don't they get the hint Lord? lool Oh well whatever floats your boat.

It just seems to have "nappy" hair is uncool. It makes you look ugly, unprofessional, uncool, and unkempt in my lil society. I feel like middle school. Just because I don't prefer to relax bone straight and wear my hair down every day, I'm unattractive. When I wear a bun, I'm unattractive. When I practice healthy hair practices, it is uncool and not kute. If we keep this mindset, we will neva break through the stigmas of African American hair. This is krazy!

Why do we refuse to listen to others when they have new ideas on how we should treat our hair, bodies, and minds. These old myths just have so much longevity compared to the truth.

 

[joyandfaith]

This is a truly sad testament of our society. I can only imagine what she finished up with after saying "people don't like seeing..." It really saddens me. We are trying so hard to conform to what we think "pretty" is supposed to be and most people don't realize that you never win when you're trying to run someone else's race.

I was at my friend's house yesterday to visit her 2 1/2 week old baby boy. Then my mixed friend (3a hair) who is married to a black guy (4b hair) makes the comment "and look he has curly hair, yay!"

Now what am I supposed to do with that!?! I sat there with a blank look on my face like, really, are we having this conversation with a black president in the White House? Plus we all know that you can't look at a 2 1/2 week old baby's hair and judge anyway. Everyone has 3a hair at that age.

sorry...rant over

 

[vkb247]

it is definitely crazy but many people are just striving for a certain look and not health thats why so many are lyed fried dyed and busted weaved up

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I feel like you can do more of those nice and sexy looks when you can finally do it with your own hair though. Lord have mercy.

It's funny cuz they think they are soooo smart when it comes to hair. And in some ways they are right. They limit direct heat, they roller-set, and sometimes dc. They dunno why, but "the lady in the shop says it" So it's kosher lol

I think it's just a few more steps that could help ladies like this not just have "Nice looking" hair but "nice feeling hair". But because of what society teachers us, such as hair stylists are ALWAYS right, and DIY is a disaster to your hair, or that you need a relaxer to have healthy hair is a TRIP to me

 

[DarkHair]

Its a shame that a lot of people are open-minded to trying 'new things' with hair. I experienced this as well. When the nay-sayers have two strands of hair on their head like Homer Simpson, then they'll be asking you about all the remedies needed.

 

[Junebug D]

It's sad, but if people are going to be rude and close-minded about it, then I just let them do what they do and let them wonder why their hair is falling out, breaking off, not cute, and unmanageable. And wonder why mine is so much fun when they 'need' to hide theirs!

 

[that_1_grrrl]

You know, some people really just have nothing better to do.

 

[ShaniKeys]

Why do we refuse to listen to others when they have new ideas on how we should treat our hair, bodies, and minds. These old myths just have so much longevity compared to the truth.

If only I knew the answer to that question

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

You know, some people really just have nothing better to do.

I think so too. It's normal that people like to be right. People like to give advice and know that it's helping someone. Since my practices and others on this board are so different, I think they try to offer their input to maybe "shine some light on our parade". When I try to do the same though, it's like talking to a brick wall haha

 

[vkb247]

the bottom line is: 400 years without a comb

Most ladies, just like me before I found hair boards, never stop to think that there are other ways let alone better ways to be doing hair. I have always had lots of hair that grew easily but would always be breaking off all over my bathroom, I couldn't grow past SL, and my hair always broke off in the middle (my coarsest hair). Not even my hairdresser had a solution to these things and I was okay with all of this.

The difference for me came with a random google search...I thank God for hair boards and what they have taught me.

But most of our people are still unenlightened. I ask people some times

"Why do you put that in your hair?"

"What does that product do for you/What is its purpose?"

I ask this because it is about the only thing that I have found makes people stop and think. (I never get an answer because they just don't know. Don't get me started on the do you know the difference between a moisturizer/styling product/etc. I get so tired of seeing people's eyes glaze over - I just keep it to myself most of the time now)

I found some old hair products of mine that my mom had saved for me the other day and most of them are complete useless crap. Why did I buy them at the time? Because I knew I had some sort of need and I was hoping that the empty marketing slogans were the answer but I really had no plan to rectify my issues or even any real idea that I had an issue.

So I understand where most of these folks are coming from because I was there. This whole thing is so sad to me.

Rant over

 

[Muse]

Its a shame that a lot of people are open-minded to trying 'new things' with hair. I experienced this as well. When the nay-sayers have two strands of hair on their head like Homer Simpson, then they'll be asking you about all the remedies needed.

LOL!I had The Simpsons playing in the background when I read this.

 

[vkb247]

Willie L Morrow. 400 Years Without a Comb: The Untold Story. San Diego, CA: California Curl, 1973. (220 pp.)

400 Years Without a Comb studies the effect the denial of sufficient hair care tools had on African slaves in America. Willie Morrow has written more than 5 books and created more than 20 videos on barbering, styling, and the history of Black hair. 400 Years Without a Comb locates the origin of the good hair/bad hair argument in the days of and following slavery.

You guys can probably tell how seriously I take this. No laughing matter to me.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I just laugh at those bald headed hair geniuses. They know everything, and I'm dumb so why bother??

 

[msa]

Willie L Morrow. 400 Years Without a Comb: The Untold Story. San Diego, CA: California Curl, 1973. (220 pp.)

400 Years Without a Comb studies the effect the denial of sufficient hair care tools had on African slaves in America. Willie Morrow has written more than 5 books and created more than 20 videos on barbering, styling, and the history of Black hair. 400 Years Without a Comb locates the origin of the good hair/bad hair argument in the days of and following slavery.

You guys can probably tell how seriously I take this. No laughing matter to me.

Thanks so much for this post.

It is a serious matter to me as well. People in my acquaintance know that "nappy", "good/bad hair", "slave hair", etc. are curse words.

OP, if it bothers you, then explain why. If it doesn't, then shake your head and keep it moving.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I just laugh at those bald headed hair geniuses. They know everything, and I'm dumb so why bother??

I just don't get it. It's this one girl here on campus. She has waist length hair. Some girls asked her how did she get hair so long if she wasn't mixed? She told them she never uses a blow dryer or flat iron and every night she moisturizes it. Some kids cut her off. Here comes these two girls. They were like WELL I DON'T LIKE GREASE...GREASE IS BAD FOR YOUR HAIR...WEIGHS YOUR HAIR DOWN...AND I DON'T THINK IT HELPS YOU GROW YOUR HAIR...

I explained grease isn't mosturizing....and all I got was... Yeah right . Why do you put it on your scalp then? To grease your scalp aka moisturize duh lol and they started roasting me on my "Busted" hair. I'm like dang. I can tell you, this girl can you with BEAUTIFUL hair, and Jesus could tell you, but it really dun matter. Until that lady who overcharges you, charges you $10 for a DC while she puts 3 people in front of you, cuts all your hair off so you'll be back, and gossip about others and prolly u when you leave, tells you it's okay, everything anyone else has to say is just ludicrous

I told someone the other day if I ever have a little girl, I won't put a perm in her head, and do you know I got the weirdest looks? I mean it seem slike people now a days think a relaxer is a "Got to have" situation. You aint gotta be a hippie, druggie, "white" all that to do things or think of things in a different manner, or do things a different way. I wish people would learn to think OUTSIDE the durn box

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Thanks so much for this post.

It is a serious matter to me as well. People in my acquaintance know that "nappy", "good/bad hair", "slave hair", etc. are curse words.

OP, if it bothers you, then explain why. If it doesn't, then shake your head and keep it moving.

You know I explained why, but in the event where u are surrounded around more than one, and your ideas or less than favored among a crowd, a lot of times you get clowned out. That's what bugs me. I can say all I want, but if it's a group of people around, my idea is always going to go unnoticed, because it's the less popular vote. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and at least respect. But, when it comes to topics such as these in real life, respect in ideas is far from reality...lol. It's a laughing matter.

 

[sqzbly1908]

Soror -

That is the beauty of self education and research. We rely so much on magazines and our hairstylists (not slighting either one) but they don't provide the intricate information that WE need to take care of our hair. Our hair will speak for itself

 

[vkb247]

Soror -

That is the beauty of self education and research. We rely so much on magazines and our hairstylists (not slighting either one) but they don't provide the intricate information that WE need to take care of our hair. Our hair will speak for itself

That's gotta be my motto for 2009. I feel your pain OP. I am sincerely hoping that once my hair gets longer people will take me more seriously. This is one of the major reason that I want long hair - so that I can be an example.

 

[BotanyGrl]

So what did their hair look like? An associate of mine made the mistake of attempting to educate me about how stretching my relaxer is bad for my hair. And I calmly told her that her hair didn't exactly back the theory up. Sometimes you have to hit them where it hurts because 9/10 their hair looks unhealthy, broke off, and an overall mess.

 

[sqzbly1908]

So what did their hair look like? An associate of mine made the mistake of attempting to educate me about how stretching my relaxer is bad for my hair. And I calmly told her that her hair didn't exactly back the theory up. Sometimes you have to hit them where it hurts because 9/10 their hair looks unhealthy, broke off, and an overall mess.

SPEAK PREACHA' - lol

 

[msa]

You know I explained why, but in the event where u are surrounded around more than one, and your ideas or less than favored among a crowd, a lot of times you get clowned out. That's what bugs me. I can say all I want, but if it's a group of people around, my idea is always going to go unnoticed, because it's the less popular vote. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and at least respect. But, when it comes to topics such as these in real life, respect in ideas is far from reality...lol. It's a laughing matter.

I know exactly what you mean. That's why most of the time I choose not to explain my views, or comment at all. If I know that someone is not receptive to having a discussion, then I keep it moving. They ask me what I use on my hair? I say water. They ask me why? I say because I want to. And that's the end of the conversation.

I don't comment on what they use, why they use it, or what they say. Why? because I'm not going to argue with someone who is not open to hearing what I have to say. I don't care if they change their views or not. I'm just not in the mood to be told I'm crazy or my hair is going to fall out or I just don't know what I'm talking about. It's a waste of time for me.

Just keep doing you and keep it moving. If someone says something that is just wrong (like when people say that I need a relaxer or that my hair is soooo nappy), politely correct them if you feel the need and let it end there.

 

[bbdgirl]

your experience was very interesting, and unfortunately representative of the attitudes of alot of AA folks. Are we really trying to pretend that our hair is always straight? I have always wondered what the motivation was beyond the girls that I would see in the salon crying about how they need a touch up and I can't see the NG. Three weeks? and I thought I was bad at 7-8wks.

 

[msa]

I ask people some times

"Why do you put that in your hair?"

"What does that product do for you/What is its purpose?"

I've found those are the best questions to ask. Because like you said, most of the time they just have no idea how to answer. And I think sometimes it gets them thinking.

 

[vkb247]

I'm not going to argue with someone who is not open to hearing what I have to say... It's a waste of time for me.

Just keep doing you and keep it moving. If someone says something that is just wrong (like when people say that I need a relaxer or that my hair is soooo nappy), politely correct them if you feel the need and let it end there.

Like throwing pearls before swine as the old saying goes. I wish it wasn't this way but it really doesn't make sense. I hope that one day I will meet some folks - besides my hair board ladies (love you guys) -who really want to learn better care and techniques.

 

[msa]

Like throwing pearls before swine as the old saying goes. I wish it wasn't this way but it really doesn't make sense. I hope that one day I will meet some folks who really want to learn better care and techniques.

It will happen. I have a friend that I've known for years and she's all into the haircare stuff now since I started saying little things about it. People who are truly interested are out there.

 

[Lovelylocs]

I just don't get it. It's this one girl here on campus. She has waist length hair. Some girls asked her how did she get hair so long if she wasn't mixed? She told them she never uses a blow dryer or flat iron and every night she moisturizes it. Some kids cut her off. Here comes these two girls. They were like WELL I DON'T LIKE GREASE...GREASE IS BAD FOR YOUR HAIR...WEIGHS YOUR HAIR DOWN...AND I DON'T THINK IT HELPS YOU GROW YOUR HAIR...

I explained grease isn't mosturizing....and all I got was... Yeah right . Why do you put it on your scalp then? To grease your scalp aka moisturize duh lol and they started roasting me on my "Busted" hair. I'm like dang. I can tell you, this girl can you with BEAUTIFUL hair, and Jesus could tell you, but it really dun matter. Until that lady who overcharges you, charges you $10 for a DC while she puts 3 people in front of you, cuts all your hair off so you'll be back, and gossip about others and prolly u when you leave, tells you it's okay, everything anyone else has to say is just ludicrous

I told someone the other day if I ever have a little girl, I won't put a perm in her head, and do you know I got the weirdest looks? I mean it seem slike people now a days think a relaxer is a "Got to have" situation. You aint gotta be a hippie, druggie, "white" all that to do things or think of things in a different manner, or do things a different way. I wish people would learn to think OUTSIDE the durn box

Ahhh. When I first started LHCF, I felt the same way sometimes. I was in college too. Here is my advice to you:

STOP GIVING OUT HAIR ADVICE!!!!!



Seriously though. Concentrate on you own hair. Let your hair be an example, and if people see that your hair looks nice and ask for advice, then give it. Of course, by then, some people will just assume that your hair is different. LOL But, many people will listen to your advice and not "clown" you for it (provided that it doesn't sound too out there).

Also, please realize that some of LHCF's hair practices are unconventional, so naturally many people are not going to just believe any random person who shares our practices with them.

Many people are not as into their hair's health as we are, and are not willing to put in the time to undo their misconceptions. Just be glad to know what you know. What do you get out of educating other people about their hair? (Don't get me wrong. In the first scenario, I can totally see why you would be annoyed with them. They were making fun of your hair.)

Just accept that there are many people who for whatever reason have misconceptions about their hair.

 

[gissellr78]

I don't like showing my new growth but i am not that ashamed to relax my hair every 3-4 months thats crazy....

I work around it i part my hair on the side, blow out my roots whatever but i dont play with relaxers!

 

[lynndiallo]

Ahhh. When I first started LHCF, I felt the same way sometimes. I was in college too. Here is my advice to you:

STOP GIVING OUT HAIR ADVICE!!!!!



Seriously though. Concentrate on you own hair. Let your hair be an example, and if people see that your hair looks nice and ask for advice, then give it. Of course, by then, some people will just assume that your hair is different. LOL But, many people will listen to your advice and not "clown" you for it (provided that it doesn't sound too out there).

Also, please realize that some of LHCF's hair practices are unconventional, so naturally many people are not going to just believe any random person who shares our practices with them.

Many people are not as into their hair's health as we are, and are not willing to put in the time to undo their misconceptions. Just be glad to know what you know. What do you get out of educating other people about their hair? (Don't get me wrong. In the first scenario, I can totally see why you would be annoyed with them. They were making fun of your hair.)

Just accept that there are many people who for whatever reason have misconceptions about their hair.

I hate the "your hair is nice because you're different." Different? I am just like you. I'm not mixed...I am AFRICAN!

Why is it as a black person, you must be special or mixed for one to have healthy hair and length? Why does every other race have healthy long hair and we do not? I hate when I hear black people can't grow long healthy hair unless they're extraordinary or mixed race. Whenever I have debates about the long and healthy hair of other races compared to ours, I carefully point out that most of they other races do not abuse chemicals the way we do (most are naturals), wash frequently, and moisturize.

And there are products out there that meet our special needs, we just need to make an effort to find them. To a certain extent, I think my friends are lazy. It is easier to not dc weekly, moisturize daily, protect ends, and more. It is easier to rely on weaves and not take care of the hair underneath. It is easier to remain ignorant about healthy hair care practices.

I've learned that haircare is a lifestyle change and some are not ready. I do not bother advising anyone that does not sincerely want it.

 

[Lovelylocs]

I've found those are the best questions to ask. Because like you said, most of the time they just have no idea how to answer. And I think sometimes it gets them thinking.

LOL... and other times they get this smug look like you are complimenting them or like they know smthg u dont know. Haha... it's common knowledge: Pink Oil makes ur hair nice! DUH! :Lachen:

 

[vkb247]

I was just thinking about this shirt I saw once that said:

I Know I've Got That Good Hair...I've Got African In Me

I need that shirt