He cheated I know itsa life but I need advice

[BeautifulNameX]

Me and My boyfriend Been together for 15 months. He tells me loves me and would never hurt me. And he did. I know he is a sincere person. I feel used.

What happened was he went out of town and was drinking (wasted he said) he said he thought it was safe and no gurls were around. He guess they came over and all he knows is that he went to a room with one and and He said they might have had sex. . . he dont remenber. . . That was his first

I feel like he shouldn't be drinking in that kind of situation and he dosnt know how to avoid temptation. He says everywhere he goes gurls try to get on. I doint know. He says He will Quit drinking because he sees how it effects others. But i dont know cause he said he would never cheat and did.

I just feel heartbroken like. What would you do. He wants me back but im scared.

 

[onyxdreams]

My honest advice is to let him go,men will say anything to get you back. Words are just words to some men but actions are the true indicator.He needs to work on himself perhaps grow up and you IMO should move on heal your heart,That is what i would do.I hope you feel better real soon.

 

[MrsQueeny]

If he doesn't remember then her doesn't know if he used protection or not either. You have to do what you feel is best. As for me, he would be my ex-boyfriend already. Q

 

[dlewis]

I think its time to let this go. I don't care if he was drinking, it just another excuse. Let him go and move on.

 

[Keen]

How did you find out about the cheating?

 

[MzLady78]

I agree with the olther ladies.

I've been out drinking plenty of times and never ended up banging some random dude, so he can go 'head with that excuse, IMO.

 

[CandiceC]

I see you're 17. Too young to be bothered with a boyfriend, and a bad one at that. How old is he if he's drinking? Either you're dealing with someone drinking illegally or someone too old (yet immature) for you.

 

[MzLady78]

I see you're 17. Too young to be bothered with a boyfriend, and a bad one at that. How old is he if he's drinking? Either you're dealing with someone drinking illegally or someone too old (yet immature) for you.

I was gonna ask how old she was as well, so thanks for pointing this out.

Yeah, sweetie, you don't need this kind of drama at 17, trust me. You got you're whole life to deal with men and their bs.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

he got drunk and don't remember having sex...which means to me he's irresponsible and probably had unprotected sex. I just went to a funeral where a 21 year died from AIDS. It's not a game. You're too young anyway to be going through these dramatics. Go to school, get your degree, and someone on your level...write us back and tell us how it went.

 

[Ramya]

How do you not know if you had sex? erplexed I mean why even go to a room with another girl? That just seems like a set up for something to happen... I'm sure he did feel it was a mistake after it happened but he did know what he was doing--which is too late in my opinion I can tell how it really hurt you . I wouldn't stay with him but that's just me. You're young and have plenty of options. Move on with your life...without him.

 

[Farida]

Perhaps I have never been drunk enough.

But, it is my belief, that alcohol brings out the true nature of a person, by shedding their inhibitions.

I think people do things when they drunk that they want to do when they are sober, they are just inhibited whilst sober. People who get angry when they are drunk, are angry people.

I've been drunk before but you best believe I knew what I was doing/saying. Or, I knew not to be at a place or with people I shouldn't be with.

And if he drank enough to blackout so that he doesn't remember anything, that's a problem. A big problem.

My personal opinion would be to let him go. You don't want to look back one day and think, "he did this before, why didn't I leave?"

 

[Cinda2503]

At 17 years old you should not even be tied down to a boyfriend for 15 months! You need to institute a time limit on these little boys. When I was 17 - I had a 3 month rule. After 3 months they were gone! and I moved on to the next one!

DUMP HIM! Focus on college applications, getting scholarships, applying for financial aid, buying yourself a car, getting the hottest new shoes/sneakers/jacket/dress, figuring out which sorority you are going to rush for etc... etc.... etc....

At 17 or any age - when a you find out or suspect a boy/man is cheating or has cheated on you - BOUNCE!!! and don't look back.... He's a liar and a cheater!

Alcohol is truth serum.

 

[tmichelle]

he got drunk and don't remember having sex...which means to me he's irresponsible and probably had unprotected sex. I just went to a funeral where a 21 year died from AIDS. It's not a game. You're too young anyway to be going through these dramatics. Go to school, get your degree, and someone on your level...write us back and tell us how it went.

These are my thoughts.

You WILL be kicking yourself in a few years if you get back with this lush. It is just sometimes hard to see beyond today.

 

[DSP]

Sweetheart, if he's your age and already drinking to the point of blacking out and sleeping with random chicks, it's only going to get worse. Dump him.

If he's older and messing with your underage behind for 15 months, you need to drop him like a bad habit.

Either way, leave him alone and focus on your education. It hurts today, but that's only temporary. I promise.

 

[Highly Favored8]

I am sorry this has happened to you. Drinking and getting wasted! What was he really thinking? I mean so many STD's out there in the world it is not even funny. 17 years old you have your whole life ahead of you. Release this guy and let him go. God's hands are in this situation and this is just Divine Intervention. No, cheating is not a part of life ,it just that some people use "it is a part of life as an excuse". They do not ever think of their actions that affect the other person as an end result. I am sorry this has happen to you. Take this as a Blessing!

 

[drasgrl]

I agree with the olther ladies.

I've been out drinking plenty of times and never ended up banging some random dude, so he can go 'head with that excuse, IMO.

Exactly. I've been pretty drunk at times when me and my bf were living in different countries and still never just slept with anyone because I was drunk and I had plenty of opportunities.

I'm not going to say once a cheater always a cheater because that's not always true. If you go back with him can you trust him? Are you going to throw it back in his face when he does something else wrong? Is this something you can get over? Just think about it.

ETA
Just saw the age mentioned by the other poster. OP girl you are too young. Go out and date 5 or 6 guys at a time have fun, you don't need to tie yourself down with some clown.

 

[tmichelle]

Get out before you have a baby, several std's and he's STILL making foolish decisions.

 

[20Pearls_Girl]

Cut the strings and keep moving.

I've NEVER believed the "I was so drunk I don't remember bit". Secondly, if he's drinking THAT MUCH, there may be other issues. Lastly, he's just a boyfriend of 15 months, there's no need to start putting up with this type of thing now.

It may hurt now but cutting him would be best for you.

 

[sharentu]

((hugs)) sorry he hurt you. i dont believe he is being truly honest with you. if he is your age, thats a whole lot of drinking and personally i never met a person who drank so much they didnt remember.

 

[*KP*]

Take the great advice above and let him go. His story seems to be full of lies, and you really are worth more than that.

 

[cocoberry10]

If he doesn't remember then her doesn't know if he used protection or not either. You have to do what you feel is best. As for me, he would be my ex-boyfriend already. Q

Um yeah, what she said. This is ultimately your decision, BUT.............

I really do think a person who would do dirty, and then not even be able to own up to it, but say they "want you back???" I don't think I could trust someone in that situation.

I mean, since he told you (assuming he did), why not just admit he made a bad decision. Why act like he "didn't know" what was going on.

I'm not a drunkard, but the few times I've drank (and I think I've been "buzzed" once in my life), but I was very aware of what I was doing. I personally don't believe that being drunk makes you completely out of control in terms of making a conscious decision to have sex.

I mean, if you were that "out of it," how were you able to have the fine motor skills to remove your pants, remove your underpants, take your erect penis over to a woman's vagina, and insert it and thrust in and out repeatedly????? I'm not trying to cause doubt or hatred, b/c the decision is yours, but that just doesn't add up to cocoberry

 

[carcajada]

Everyone has already given really good advice. Nothing more to add but good luck in whatever path your choose.

 

[song_of_serenity]

Um yeah, what she said. This is ultimately your decision, BUT.............

I really do think a person who would do dirty, and then not even be able to own up to it, but say they "want you back???" I don't think I could trust someone in that situation.

I mean, since he told you (assuming he did), why not just admit he made a bad decision. Why act like he "didn't know" what was going on.

I'm not a drunkard, but the few times I've drank (and I think I've been "buzzed" once in my life), but I was very aware of what I was doing. I personally don't believe that being drunk makes you completely out of control in terms of making a conscious decision to have sex.

I mean, if you were that "out of it," how were you able to have the fine motor skills to remove your pants, remove your underpants, take your erect penis over to a woman's vagina, and insert it and thrust in and out repeatedly????? I'm not trying to cause doubt or hatred, b/c the decision is yours, but that just doesn't add up to cocoberry

I'm sorry but this is so true that it made me laugh. How LAME is that excuse?
O.P? I know you probably don't want to hear it, but the ladies have given excellent advice. You are very young. We're not discounting your feelings on the relationship or seriousness of it, but at this age, you have so many things to accomplish first. Please, leave him alone! DON'T take him back. You deserve much better than "Ooh, I got drunk. I *think* I may have slept with someone." What was he doing in the room with said chick in the FIRST PLACE?!
Allow your heart to heal from this and move on, focusing on your studies. The choice is yours, but consider what was said. Seriously consider...
~*Janelle~*

 

[mrembo]

move on...there will be plenty of other guys. Dont waste your time

 

[janiebaby]

If you go back with him can you trust him? Are you going to throw it back in his face when he does something else wrong? Is this something you can get over? Just think about it.

I agree with this. OP, I'm sorry this happened to you.

 

[Farida]

move on...there will be plenty of other guys. Dont waste your time

OT - mrembo, you are a "mrembo."

 

[Farida]

I'm sorry but this is so true that it made me laugh. How LAME is that excuse?
O.P? I know you probably don't want to hear it, but the ladies have given excellent advice. You are very young. We're not discounting your feelings on the relationship or seriousness of it, but at this age, you have so many things to accomplish first. Please, leave him alone! DON'T take him back. You deserve much better than "Ooh, I got drunk. I *think* I may have slept with someone." What was he doing in the room with said chick in the FIRST PLACE?!
Allow your heart to heal from this and move on, focusing on your studies. The choice is yours, but consider what was said. Seriously consider...
~*Janelle~*

I didn't even think about it. If you are drunk to the point of memory blackout, I doubt the penis would be working. Alcohol makes sex difficult. It lowers inhibition but also does things to the nether regions.

In fact, now that I think of this, I think he said he doesn't remember because he is testing you. If you have a major freak out he will suddenly remember that they didn't. If you don't, he'll count his lucky stars and wipe his brow. Because, in as much as we'd like to believe otherwise, people don't confess things like this because they want honesty and openness, he just wants to alleviate his guilt.

 

[sky_blu]

If he doesn't remember then her doesn't know if he used protection or not either. You have to do what you feel is best. As for me, he would be my ex-boyfriend already. Q

What she said! With an emphasis on the bolded.

 

[sky_blu]

I didn't even think about it. If you are drunk to the point of memory blackout, I doubt the penis would be working. Alcohol makes sex difficult. It lowers inhibition but also does things to the nether regions.
In fact, now that I think of this, I think he said he doesn't remember because he is testing you. If you have a major freak out he will suddenly remember that they didn't. If you don't, he'll count his lucky stars and wipe his brow. Because, in as much as we'd like to believe otherwise, people don't confess things like this because they want honesty and openness, he just wants to alleviate his guilt.

Yessir! I didnt even think about that but you are so right. Unless he got slipped a roofie he remembers what happened.

 

[Danene5]

Leave him alone. I am sure there are many developments in this story. Better sooner than later to leave. No telling what else he could have done. He can't be trusted. You deserve better.