have you TAKEN BACK the word NAPPY? what does it mean to YOU?

[Sweet_Ambrosia]

Nappy can be used in a positive light and in a negative light, in the real world not everyone rejoices and smiles when someone mentions the word nappy L.K.I.R.F., of course on the hair boards that’s a different story even so not everyone is 100% comfortable using the word because of the negative connotations that’s tied to it. I personally view the word nappy as an okay word, I don’t necessarily love it or hate it. Growing up the word wasn’t freely used around me and it wasn’t part of my everyday vocabulary, it still isn’t. I refer to my hair as natural, in greater detail I’ll describe it as curly/coily/semi wavy because that’s how grows out of my scalp. Everyone is free to describe their hair the way they see fit, but nappy is a vague term when describing our hair, since not all AA’s have hair that’s like sheep’s wool or hair that’s very tightly curled/coiled, “our hair” is much more diverse than that, when the word nappy is used in that context it’s more of a label not a concrete description of AA hair IMO.

 

[firecracker]

The word doesn't have any power.

 

[MonPetite]

Littlegoldlamb, I loved your post too. And I do understand that it isn't easy to change a way of thinking passed on down the generations, just like it isn't easy to change the way I see the word coz for 75%+ of my life, it was never used that way. And when I compare lamb's wool or sheep's wool to springs, then wool is way softer than metal or plastic. Also until recent years, I used to apply 19879874 things to my hair and I would never have called my hair soft. It wasn't until I almost went w/o anything in my hair that its true nature came out. So if nappy meant coarse hair, then wasn't that a fair/honest view with respect to the hair that white folks were used to?

I agree. Unfortunately they used it as proof we weren't human, verses just different. Then as proof of a lesser moral character. That's the sad part.

Either way, I really can't think of them having taken the trouble to study our hair to describe it in the full spectrum that black hair comes in. It was made of tight coils, reminded them of sheep's skin, and it was...er...er...how you say...nappy!

I know, right? Again, however, they used as a means to injure and subjugate. Sigh.

As for TD Jakes kid worrying about being darker, I got the impression that being in a predominantly white school and the neighborhood he grew up in, he's been fed the lie that light is better than dark...not unlike teenage kids that are brainwashed by images of skinny, lanky models who look like skeletons into thinking that's what one has to be to be beautiful. I don't know if the article was posted on the forum, but I'll try to find it and give the link if you didn't see it.

I've written papers about skinny models, lol.This "impression" I'm finding is the case with many. Let me tell you from experience that if you go to a predominately white school (and I did so ALL over the country) I don't care HOW light you are -you're not "white" and that's all that matters. It's funny only Blacks think light skinned Blacks are "readily" accepted by non-Blacks. erplexed Another thing we need to conquer TOGETHER as a people, no?

I don't know if black was always bad. I seem to recall the darker you are the more beautiful you were considered in the Gambia.

I did mention that wasn't the case EVERYWHERE. Thank GOD!

And while I will admit I've heard people who are light skinned being called beautiful, even in Kenya when they really were just plain, I have NEVER fallen into that way of thinking. To me dark skin always looked beautiful because it was always flawless. I even tried to darken my skin by going on tanning beds, and buying tanning creams--and I'm not at all high yellow. It is this obsession with dark skin that has me in awe of Alek Wek. So when I ask when did dark become bad, I honest to God have always thought of it as absolutely beautiful. Even back when I was superficial and thought looks were everything, I'd not date anyone that was light-skinned. I even remember one very sweet guy that was high-yella whose personality I adored but he was too light for me so he didn't stand a chance.

If I'm being purely superficial I like my men like my coffee: Dark, sweet...and RICH!

So while I do know about say India and how even w/in families the dark children are considered something to hide and be ashamed of, I have never been able to grasp that way of thinking coz I have always admired dark skin. I remember even envying people who had dark knuckles and wished mine didn't match my fingers!

I used to the "tomato" example just to be funny. I do realize it's a pronunciation thing and not as deep as this word nappy offends some people. But from my point of view, because the word has no offensive meaning at all, using it or not using it is as much one's choice and as innocent as calling a boot a trunk, a bonnet a hood.... It's all just the same thing but we each use the word we're comfortable with. Doesn't make the other person wrong for using that word.


I understand and agree with this too. I just like to go a step beyond by monitoring how others are affected by it and by it's historical usage verses just MEANING alone. As most people Black and non-Black know its usage not its TRUE meaning.

Just means we describe the same thing by the word we are most comfortable using. So that's the point I was trying to make.


I hear ya'.

Some may call their hair curly or coily, I will call mine kinky and nappy and curly and coily and all will be well in my world. I love language and love that there are so many words to describe the same thing so I treasure the knowledge and peace of mind I have that nappy means kinky which means tightly curled. English is my third language so I tend to not give words more meaning than their definitions.

This explains alot. I also study linguistics (college student) and English has an unusual dependency on connotation. So much so, we use MANY (by we I mean native speakers, especially those who ONLY speak English) words COMPLETELY out of context and meaning and are actually CONFUSED and INSULTED when they are used by their proper definition.

But I really do understand those who can't help but feel bitterness at the sound of that word. If I am ever around those of you who cringe at the word and I know or remember, I will try to be sensitive and not use the word when speaking to you, especially if describing your hair.

That's all that matters -we've got to <3 each other! I'm going to start with <3ing Nonie for her great, thought-provoking posts!

It is humbling and sad to hear the insults you had to endure. I was bullied in school but only coz I was a softy and a nerd. But it was never about my appearance, so I cannot think of words that were used to describe me that hurt me deeply. The bullying I endured in school was just mean girls threatening to beat me up or withdraw their friendship <-- a gift I treasured more than anything else in the world, even if it was of such poor quality. It seems like a joke in the light of what you had to endure but for a kid like me, it hurt deeply and always brought me to tears. And everyone had nappy hair so there wasn't anything worth writing home about there, unless it was long when we all just oohed and aahed.

Anyway, glad we had this chat.

DITTO.

And no, I don't think all light-skinned people think like that. Just like I know there are people who will never go natural not because they simply love their hair relaxed but because God forbid their natural nappy hair should ever show.

I used to be like that a year ago. Then I BCed, went natural (more accurately STAYED natural and didn't relax ) and blew my little lambie mind! This was due to all the negativity I received from family and friends about my looks -"Ethnic" features plus random (For my family's "color norm") light skin meant I was some kind of mistake, joke, or what have you. People need to keep their issues to themselves, no? Some of them make me want to temporarily set aside my more gentle nature.

And then there are people who are so anti-relaxers that they almost become insulting to those who relax.

I almost became that kind of natural. One extreme to another.

To me hair is just hair...and if I didn't enjoy my natural hair as much as I do, I'd have no problem relaxing. And it wouldn't be because I'm trying to be something I'm not.

I'm right >>>here<<< with you on this. On my one-year nappiversary I will decide to stay natural...or do whatever I want to do to have the look I want. It's FINALLY just hair to me. It feels so good!

Heck, it's me becoming all the things I can be coz my hair is ALL THAT and bag of chips. Napps rock! A few races can only wish they could sport half the dos I can.

Say it again!

 

[Pheonixx]

Eh....
:filesnails:
I don't use the n-word. I'm pretty neutral on the 'nappy' word. I've used the word to describe MY head(naps, naptural, etc...) in a light-hearted sort of way. I don't use the word in mixed company or around black folks I don't know cause they most likely won't see the word as I do.

RAIN20

So if a Caucasion or other race besides Black said you were nappy headed would you be okay with it? I really dont like the word nappy. I didn't grow up with it, plus it has been used negatively by Blacks and others. I prefer natural or other descriptive terms for a lot of things including hair.

Here are my thoughts on this issue. As ppl percieve things differently I understand that ppl will disagree. So feel free:

No offense--and I get the parallels you're trying to draw here, but there always seems to be an inability to discuss black folks and BLACK ISSUES without whites (and 'other's)---but MOSTLY white folks---being thrown into the mix.
Who in the hell cares what 'they' think? They ain't black. They have no place in this conversation.
Now, the situation varies widely in regards to 'other races' but as for whites?
Yes--it's usually deemed 'unnacceptable' for whites to use the 'n-word' around most black folks (regardless of context, I think). ...and yeah---it's deemed equally 'unacceptable' for them to call a black person's hair 'nappy'.
....and yes--OF COURSE, it's a double standard.
Please don't ask me if I care...

But to answer the question, 'would I take offense if a white person or race called my hair nappy'?
Uh, yes...for the most part.
....and whites folks...?
Girl please---COME on now....
We (and other ethnic groups)operate within white culture. We're saturated with it... so we know what they're all about. White folks don't readily understand black culture (or other ethnic groups either, really). Half the time they 'just don't get it'. But it is understandable. They've never had to 'understand' other cultures, what with being the 'dominate culture' and all.
(most) White people aren't knowlegeable about the inner workings of the 'Black Community'. They would not know the ways in which some words are used within the black community. They don't understand the dual meanings we've assigned to many words.
They ONLY know 'nappy' as a negative.
So whenever the word passes from their lips most black people would correctly assume that there was a negative connotation of some sort behind it. and no I don't think it's a stretch to suggest this.

1.
It could be looked at as exclusionary, separtist behavior.
But in a sense---it is to be expected. And should surprise no one.
Each scientific discovery serves to further prove the theory that Race doesn't Exist. Race is a concept and a construct....one that people have been brainwashed into believing in. In any case, we(everyone in this country) do everything we can to segregate ourselves into these huge cliques. What are the big five in this country, let's see....

• White.....You're either white or you're not. Period. All such questionable types will be shuffled into the appropriate Other, Black or Latino categories.
• Black....anyone who appears to be 'black-looking' regardless of what you really are/ where you came from. An umbrella term of sorts.
  
• Asian.... anyone who looks Asian, duh
• Latino....a big a** umbrella term. Used to define anyone who speaks spanish who isn't white.
  
• Other.....Well--y'know....that grab bag assortment of folks who can't be readily identifed who still MUST be placed into somebody's category.

As long as we see each other as different, I suspect that we will always be. ...and the fact that what is generally accepted within a particular group will not be feasible for an 'outsider' goes without saying. After all, what else is to be expected from cliques---but 'clique-ish' behavior? Why be surprised that different groups create a different set of rules and standards for 'outsiders'...?

Ppl will sometimes lapse into latent forms of tribal behavior. It's going to happen. Even among forward thinking adults. Doesn't matter how evolved we've become. We ain't evolved THAT much.

To add further clarity on my point....
2.
'WE' aren't the only ones who using 'slurs' (for lack of a better word) against each other.
Some black folks use the n-word...just as some Mexicans call each other demeaning names....just as some gays (hell the gays are worse than anyone else) call each other 'fags', 'faggots' and 'queens'....just as some whites call other whites 'white trash'....just as some women call each other 'b*tches', etc...

Would it be acceptable for ME to call a gay man a faggot? Or a white person, white trash?
Do you think I'd be fool enough to walk up to this group of females during conversation and be like, "Uh uhh....*****---girl what you----.!

Nope...not unless I wanna get knocked somewhere! Overall it doesn't matter what these ppl call each other, coming from 'me' the word would obviously be perceived as something else.
Entirely.

Do I question this? No...I don't really care. In fact I understand it in a sense. What I don't understand are the ppl who don't.
In other words, for instance, why a person would get all wound up because they can't use the n-word or call black hair nappy (white folks) is beyond me...

But I'm a live and let live sort of person so I fall back into my 'different ppl see things differently' explanation. That helps.
>>shrug<<

Well I'll wrap this up: Basically, I'll never tell anyone what they can and cannot say. It's a free country. Speak at your own risk. erplexed Just be mindful of the reaction of the individual on the receiving end...

 

[Solitude]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Right on point!!!


But why am I up this time of morning on a hair board??? I guess I'm newly hair-addicted

 

[Pheonixx]

^^^^

Girl I'm like you....

I quit my job to go back to school full-time and I am completely regretting it. Minus national guard obligations I literally have nothing to do...until the 26th of August...

So here I am....
Just 'up'....typing 'novels'.....for no good reason.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I don't think it's comparable to "N" word (which is not apart of my vocabulary) but still a hot topic

I'm pretty neutral, it's not good or bad, but I don't think it gives one a visual of my hair texture, like Kinky coily does...

 

[Irresistible]

I don't think it's comparable to "N" word (which is not apart of my vocabulary) but still a hot topic

I'm pretty neutral, it's not good or bad, but I don't think it gives one a visual of my hair texture, like Kinky coily does...

I agree the two just dont quite compare

 

[Valerie]

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

I don't like the word myself. Nappy will always be negative. People from other racial groups don't describe their long straight hair as rat tailly or horsey hair. My hair is 4b, it is woolly, spongy, very kinky and coily, but never nappy, because it is a slaverish name, used by slave masters to describe our hair. I don't have to claim back the word, because it was never mine to claim in the first place. The bible is full of descriptions of our hair being of the finest wool.

 

[discodumpling]

Having had the benefit of growing up with sheep i'm very comfortable with using the word nappy to describe my hair. No other word describes it so accurately and so succinctly. Never knew the word had a negative connotation until I moved stateside because the insult du jour in the Caribbean is to call your hair PEASY lol!

So depending on the subject or the person i'm speaking to nappy can mean my hair, a diaper, or a cute way to say nap time!

 

[DeepBluSea]

This is a good discussion. I love how both sides presented their points. ITA with whomever said nothing describes my hair better than nappy. My hair isn't coily (unless freshly washed or loaded with condish) and it certainly isn't curly. I know that nappy has negative connotations with the black community and it is often used as an insult. But it is what describes my hair so I use it at will. Some black and white folks appear uncomfortable when I use the world. Like, "Girl, your hair ain't that bad. Don't put yourself down." It is so funny.

Anyway, I think that we (in general) contradict ourselves. Most people OL and IRL say it's only hair, not a social statement. So we must ask ourselves honestly why are we offended by nappy and does hair affect us (in general) on a deeper level than we think.

 

[NGraceO]

Yes, I really don't care for this word. In all of my personal experiences, it has had that negative connotation, therefore, I have associated it with that. I dont prefer to use that word, or for people to use it around me. I dunno. Its the same for the other "n" word for me too. I guess it all lies in personal preference. Mine is simply not to use it, or hear it used by those around me God bless!!

 

[AfroKink]

Thinking about it more, it's not really the word, it's people's perception of the hair type. It even happens with Andre's hair typing system, which is suppose to be purely descriptive. How many times on this board do you see ladies say, "I can't get a comb through my hair, I swear it's a 4zzz!" "Agh! my hair is dry and tangled, I'm a 5q!" ... no, your hair is 3c, 4a/b (what have you) and you're doing something wrong. It's really saying that the higher you go in number and letter combination, the worse your hair gets. I throw up in my mouth a little whenever I see it.

I try to use the LOIS system now, I haven't seen people project their negativity issues onto it.

Lys

 

[PeaceFlow]

I dunno some lady in the Hair Story book said the word nap originated in Africa. However now I looked up origins and people are saying it was a word used to demean female slaves

I don't know how I feel But I don't like the way people say it around me.

 

[Valerie]

Having had the benefit of growing up with sheep i'm very comfortable with using the word nappy to describe my hair. No other word describes it so accurately and so succinctly. Never knew the word had a negative connotation until I moved stateside because the insult du jour in the Caribbean is to call your hair PEASY lol!

So depending on the subject or the person i'm speaking to nappy can mean my hair, a diaper, or a cute way to say nap time!

Revelation 1:14-15[bold]His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow: and his eyes were as a flame of fire;[/b]

And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they were burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

Song of Solomon 5:11 His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven.

2 Samuel14:25-26 But in all Israel there were none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish on him.
And when he polled his head, (for it was every year's end that he polled it; because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it) he weighted the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight.

 

[Rain20]

So I guess when Imus called the girls on the Bball team nappy headed whores, most were just offended by the "whores" part? The nappy headed part was ok? Oh well, to each his own. I dont think that word applies to every AA persons hair and has been used negatively in the past. But call your hair whatever you want. Just my point of view that it mainly has a negative connatation except on hair boards.

 

[JustKiya]

So I guess when Imus called the girls on the Bball team nappy headed whores, most were just offended by the "whores" part? The nappy headed part was ok? Oh well, to each his own. I dont think that word applies to every AA persons hair and has been used negatively in the past. But call your hair whatever you want. Just my point of view that it mainly has a negative connatation except on hair boards.

Honestly? Yes.

But, as I said before, nappy was never something for me to 'reclaim' - it didn't have a negative connotation. I actually kinda cracked up that black people were flipping out over the nappy part (cuz to me, our hair is nappy) and were less upset about him calling them whores.

ETA: It seems, to me, a lot of times, that black people are ashamed of having nappy hair. That nappy hair is something bad, something to be burnt or relaxed into submission, and forced to look like something it isn't..... I figured that's why you have women making statements like 'I don't want my pretty eyed baby to have no nappy hair' and giving weaves to 3 y/o's and putting relaxers on infants.

 

[Rain20]

Our skin tones and hair types are diverse. To me there is not one word that can describe every AA persons hair. I get tired of the lumping into one big catergory. I personally dont use the word because its just not a word that was used in my house growing up or by any of my relatives. So again personal choice. Nor do I use much profanity unless I'm driving because I just didnt grow up with it. Thick coarse hair is beautiful to me especially since my hair is super fine. But I dont care what other people call their own hair. I just dont use the word myself and really dont want anyone to refer to my hair this way. But if someone wants me to call their hair nappy instead of thick coarse and healthy I will gladly oblige.

 

[Solitude]

I don't think it's comparable to "N" word (which is not apart of my vocabulary) but still a hot topic

I'm pretty neutral, it's not good or bad, but I don't think it gives one a visual of my hair texture, like Kinky coily does...

I guess I compare it to the "n" word because I didn't take either word to be so bad when I was growing up. I heard my dad use the "n" word so much that I didn't know it was a bad word until my white teachers at school told me not to use it!

My question is....HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUSLY BEEN CALLED NAPPY IN A NEGATIVE WAY?

I've always used the word in every day conversation. For example:

Friend: Your hair looks pretty.
Me: You should see how nappy it is in the back.

Friend: Beyonce's hair is pretty.
Me: I know, I wonder how she keeps her curly weave from getting nappy.

Friend: How does my hair look?
Me: It's cute, but it looks a little nappy around the edges.

Male Cousin: Shut up with yo ole nappy-headed self.
Me: N***** please!

But maybe y'all didn't grow up the way I did. It's just not that serious to me....

 

[Southernbella.]

Eh....
:filesnails:
I don't use the n-word. I'm pretty neutral on the 'nappy' word. I've used the word to describe MY head(naps, naptural, etc...) in a light-hearted sort of way. I don't use the word in mixed company or around black folks I don't know cause they most likely won't see the word as I do.

RAIN20Here are my thoughts on this issue. As ppl percieve things differently I understand that ppl will disagree. So feel free:

No offense--and I get the parallels you're trying to draw here, but there always seems to be an inability to discuss black folks and BLACK ISSUES without whites (and 'other's)---but MOSTLY white folks---being thrown into the mix.
Who in the hell cares what 'they' think? They ain't black. They have no place in this conversation.
Now, the situation varies widely in regards to 'other races' but as for whites?
Yes--it's usually deemed 'unnacceptable' for whites to use the 'n-word' around most black folks (regardless of context, I think). ...and yeah---it's deemed equally 'unacceptable' for them to call a black person's hair 'nappy'.
....and yes--OF COURSE, it's a double standard.
Please don't ask me if I care...

But to answer the question, 'would I take offense if a white person or race called my hair nappy'?
Uh, yes...for the most part.
....and whites folks...?
Girl please---COME on now....
We (and other ethnic groups)operate within white culture. We're saturated with it... so we know what they're all about. White folks don't readily understand black culture (or other ethnic groups either, really). Half the time they 'just don't get it'. But it is understandable. They've never had to 'understand' other cultures, what with being the 'dominate culture' and all.
(most) White people aren't knowlegeable about the inner workings of the 'Black Community'. They would not know the ways in which some words are used within the black community. They don't understand the dual meanings we've assigned to many words.
They ONLY know 'nappy' as a negative.
So whenever the word passes from their lips most black people would correctly assume that there was a negative connotation of some sort behind it. and no I don't think it's a stretch to suggest this.

1.
It could be looked at as exclusionary, separtist behavior.
But in a sense---it is to be expected. And should surprise no one.
Each scientific discovery serves to further prove the theory that Race doesn't Exist. Race is a concept and a construct....one that people have been brainwashed into believing in. In any case, we(everyone in this country) do everything we can to segregate ourselves into these huge cliques. What are the big five in this country, let's see....

• White.....You're either white or you're not. Period. All such questionable types will be shuffled into the appropriate Other, Black or Latino categories.
• Black....anyone who appears to be 'black-looking' regardless of what you really are/ where you came from. An umbrella term of sorts.
• Asian.... anyone who looks Asian, duh
• Latino....a big a** umbrella term. Used to define anyone who speaks spanish who isn't white.
• Other.....Well--y'know....that grab bag assortment of folks who can't be readily identifed who still MUST be placed into somebody's category.

As long as we see each other as different, I suspect that we will always be. ...and the fact that what is generally accepted within a particular group will not be feasible for an 'outsider' goes without saying. After all, what else is to be expected from cliques---but 'clique-ish' behavior? Why be surprised that different groups create a different set of rules and standards for 'outsiders'...?

Ppl will sometimes lapse into latent forms of tribal behavior. It's going to happen. Even among forward thinking adults. Doesn't matter how evolved we've become. We ain't evolved THAT much.

To add further clarity on my point....
2.
'WE' aren't the only ones who using 'slurs' (for lack of a better word) against each other.
Some black folks use the n-word...just as some Mexicans call each other demeaning names....just as some gays (hell the gays are worse than anyone else) call each other 'fags', 'faggots' and 'queens'....just as some whites call other whites 'white trash'....just as some women call each other 'b*tches', etc...

Would it be acceptable for ME to call a gay man a faggot? Or a white person, white trash?
Do you think I'd be fool enough to walk up to this group of females during conversation and be like, "Uh uhh....*****---girl what you----.!

Nope...not unless I wanna get knocked somewhere! Overall it doesn't matter what these ppl call each other, coming from 'me' the word would obviously be perceived as something else.
Entirely.

Do I question this? No...I don't really care. In fact I understand it in a sense. What I don't understand are the ppl who don't.
In other words, for instance, why a person would get all wound up because they can't use the n-word or call black hair nappy (white folks) is beyond me...

But I'm a live and let live sort of person so I fall back into my 'different ppl see things differently' explanation. That helps.
>>shrug<<

Well I'll wrap this up: Basically, I'll never tell anyone what they can and cannot say. It's a free country. Speak at your own risk. erplexed Just be mindful of the reaction of the individual on the receiving end...

Take a bow! *standing ovation*

Who CARES what white people think? My hair IS nappy. Calling it curly is an understatement of the highest magnitude.I say kinky too, but that means the same thing. I will not allow a white person to determine what I will or won't say. Them days is ova.

 

[Christa438]

Our skin tones and hair types are diverse. To me there is not one word that can describe every AA persons hair. I get tired of the lumping into one big catergory. I personally dont use the word because its just not a word that was used in my house growing up or by any of my relatives. So again personal choice. Nor do I use much profanity unless I'm driving because I just didnt grow up with it. Thick coarse hair is beautiful to me especially since my hair is super fine. But I dont care what other people call their own hair. I just dont use the word myself and really dont want anyone to refer to my hair this way. But if someone wants me to call their hair nappy instead of thick coarse and healthy I will gladly oblige.

ITA!!! I just prefer to describe our (me and mine) hair as thick and curly.

I grew up hearing the n' word and the word nappy all the time... I have never liked the word nappy since I was a small girl-- it always made me or when it was used, it never meant good, beautiful, pretty, or flyy lol-- and I still dont care for the word nappy now that Im grown.

 

[DarkVictory]

Count me as another who grew up with nappy as a neutral descriptive term. Since finding out that nappy has a negative cast for some people I've taken to describing my hair as wooly, and I'm sticking by that, because I've carded and spun wool right off a sheep and my hair is exactly like it.

Coily and curly might describe individual strands but don't capture the quality having a fluffy soft mass of hair.

To my mind, n*gg** is a whole different kind of term. My parents were Garveyites and I did not grow up hearing this used casually. Still can't get used to the way people throw it around. There's a part of me that thinks if I use that term to another Black person my mother will fire a lightening bolt at me of The Great Beyond.

 

[anon123]

I've taken it back *points at blog title*

To me, nappy describes a texture of hair - it's a factual description of my texture, like straight, wavy, or curly is a factual description of others.

I don't consider nappy to mean unkempt. I don't consider nappy to mean messy. I don't consider nappy to mean ugly. I don't mean nappy to mean out of control. Yeah, sometimes my nappy hair is all of those things - but even if my hair wasn't nappy, it could still be all of those things.

Nappy hair, just because it's nappy, isn't beautiful to me, no more than straight hair is beautiful to me just because it's straight.

Nappy hair is 4a/4b/cnapp hair. Nappy hair is hair that is tightly curled, about *think* wire hanger sized curls and smaller - or zigzags, or waves. Nappy hair can usually be also called kinky. Nappy hair generally shrinks at least 50%....and I don't consider 3's nappy.

Fair disclosure - I grew up in a household where nappy was a neutral thing. Like being redheaded. It was how we were born - - and God didn't make mistakes!

Took the words right out of my mouth. I agree with almost everything said here. The only difference for me is that "nappy" wasn't a wholly neutral word and could have negative connotation depending on how it was used. And it often did. But sometimes it was just the best descriptor of the actual texture, and I don't feel like there's any other word that better describes my texture. So I could ask for example "is her hair nappy like mine?" and the person I'm asking would know what I'm talking about. If I told someone to meet me and described myself as the girl with the "curly" hair, I'd practically feel like I lied. But because I am sensitive to how this word was used and how some people feel about it, I will often replace it with "kinky". Heck, let's be real, "kinky" can have a negative connotation to it, too. But I've never felt the way about "nappy" as I did/do about the "other n-word". It just never carried that kind of force or feeling for me. So though I would ask my mother, for example "is her hair nappy nappy, you know, nappy like mine?", I wouldn't ask her "is she a n----, you know, like me? "

Thinking about it more, it's not really the word, it's people's perception of the hair type. It even happens with Andre's hair typing system, which is suppose to be purely descriptive. How many times on this board do you see ladies say, "I can't get a comb through my hair, I swear it's a 4zzz!" "Agh! my hair is dry and tangled, I'm a 5q!" ... no, your hair is 3c, 4a/b (what have you) and you're doing something wrong. It's really saying that the higher you go in number and letter combination, the worse your hair gets. I throw up in my mouth a little whenever I see it.

I try to use the LOIS system now, I haven't seen people project their negativity issues onto it.

Lys

I bet if people started using the LOIS more widespread that eventually it would creep in, too. For the 4zzz, maybe they mean it is "worse" in a sense, or maybe they mean, e.g., it is harder to comb. I do think that in general the higher those numbers go, the harder it is to comb and especially to do so with little breakage.

 

[JustKiya]

So though I would ask my mother, for example "is her hair nappy nappy, you know, nappy like mine?", I wouldn't ask her "is she a n----, you know, like me? "

Indeed.