have you TAKEN BACK the word NAPPY? what does it mean to YOU?

[kurlybella]

have you taken back the word nappy, the way some claim they've taken back nigg*er?

what does nappy mean to you if the meaning has changed for you?

has it gone from meaning a "bad" thing to a "good" thing?

does nappy now mean beautiful to you?

what does nappy hair look like to you?

does the word still have a negative connotation for you? or do you feel nothing at all?

how do you feel about the word nappy?

 

[AfroKink]

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

 

[ScandalousBeauty]

I agree. I never use this word, and I really don't like to hear it.

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

 

[RedVelvet310]

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

ITA... I don't use the word "nappy" to describe my hair... nappy to me means unmanagable, difficult, unruly... word I use to describe MY hair is: kinky, curly, natural.. but never nappy.

 

[JustKiya]

I've taken it back *points at blog title*

To me, nappy describes a texture of hair - it's a factual description of my texture, like straight, wavy, or curly is a factual description of others.

I don't consider nappy to mean unkempt. I don't consider nappy to mean messy. I don't consider nappy to mean ugly. I don't mean nappy to mean out of control. Yeah, sometimes my nappy hair is all of those things - but even if my hair wasn't nappy, it could still be all of those things.

Nappy hair, just because it's nappy, isn't beautiful to me, no more than straight hair is beautiful to me just because it's straight.

Nappy hair is 4a/4b/cnapp hair. Nappy hair is hair that is tightly curled, about *think* wire hanger sized curls and smaller - or zigzags, or waves. Nappy hair can usually be also called kinky. Nappy hair generally shrinks at least 50%....and I don't consider 3's nappy.

Fair disclosure - I grew up in a household where nappy was a neutral thing. Like being redheaded. It was how we were born - - and God didn't make mistakes!

 

[freshlikemoi]

I've taken it back *points at blog title*

To me, nappy describes a texture of hair - it's a factual description of my texture, like straight, wavy, or curly is a factual description of others.

I don't consider nappy to mean unkempt. I don't consider nappy to mean messy. I don't consider nappy to mean ugly. I don't mean nappy to mean out of control. Yeah, sometimes my nappy hair is all of those things - but even if my hair wasn't nappy, it could still be all of those things.

Nappy hair, just because it's nappy, isn't beautiful to me, no more than straight hair is beautiful to me just because it's straight.

Nappy hair is 4a/4b/cnapp hair. Nappy hair is hair that is tightly curled, about *think* wire hanger sized curls and smaller - or zigzags, or waves. Nappy hair can usually be also called kinky. Nappy hair generally shrinks at least 50%....and I don't consider 3's nappy.

Fair disclosure - I grew up in a household where nappy was a neutral thing. Like being redheaded. It was how we were born - - and God didn't make mistakes!

Very well stated. Couldn't have said it better. ---Also, now that I know that nappy isn't a bad thing. I appreciate it more because of LHCF. I no longer use it as a bad connotation. Well yea sometime but I'm working on it..to keep it positive in my brain. I love nappy hair. But more importantly I love nappy well kept BSL hair..LOL.

 

[Neith]

I've taken it back *points at blog title*

To me, nappy describes a texture of hair - it's a factual description of my texture, like straight, wavy, or curly is a factual description of others.

I don't consider nappy to mean unkempt. I don't consider nappy to mean messy. I don't consider nappy to mean ugly. I don't mean nappy to mean out of control. Yeah, sometimes my nappy hair is all of those things - but even if my hair wasn't nappy, it could still be all of those things.

Nappy hair, just because it's nappy, isn't beautiful to me, no more than straight hair is beautiful to me just because it's straight.

Nappy hair is 4a/4b/cnapp hair. Nappy hair is hair that is tightly curled, about *think* wire hanger sized curls and smaller - or zigzags, or waves. Nappy hair can usually be also called kinky. Nappy hair generally shrinks at least 50%....and I don't consider 3's nappy.

Fair disclosure - I grew up in a household where nappy was a neutral thing. Like being redheaded. It was how we were born - - and God didn't make mistakes!

I'm glad you posted this. I was thinking... how many people have I offended by calling my hair nappy

I don't find the word nappy to be offensive. Big ditto with justkiya

 

[Marand13]

have you taken back the word nappy, the way some claim they've taken back nigg*er?
Yes and no...

what does nappy mean to you if the meaning has changed for you?
To me nappy is the hairs texture.

has it gone from meaning a "bad" thing to a "good" thing?
It was never a "bad/good" term to me.

does nappy now mean beautiful to you?
I love every hair texture so nappy hair is beautiful even more so than other textures.

what does nappy hair look like to you?
MY DAUGHTERS HAIR! lol

does the word still have a negative connotation for you? or do you feel nothing at all? how do you feel about the word nappy?

When other people say it in a negative way I dont like it.

 

[Christa438]

IRL, it seems like 'Nappy' is short for 'Need a relaxer'. Every time I heard that my hair was looking nappy when I was growing up, it was followed by "you need a perm." It's like 1/4 to 1/2 inch of NG was a cry for help. Or it could mean you needed to comb and brush your hair.

Nappy to me means bad-looking/messy or unhealthy; it is not a word that I would just use for only black people or people with curly/ coily hair texture. I saw a lady (not black) hair the other day and it looked like her hair was fried all over for real--from chemicals, color or heat, I couldn't tell. And it was sticking out in every direction. I was thinking to myself how her head looked a nappy mess. I felt bad for her though.

Nappy definitely does not mean beautiful to me. I will never let my dd grow up thinking her hair is naturally bad or nappy. That is another reason why I am inspired to transition. Her curly hair is beautiful and I hope she learns to take care of it as she gets older. As someone else said "God doesn't make mistakes, people do."

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I only call my hair nappy when I'm mad at it.

I'm kind of whatever about the word though. It's got negative connotations, but it does describe my hair wayyyyyyyy better than curly or even coily.

 

[tocktick]

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

i agree. i'm not offended when i hear it on boards and i don't hear it irl because it's just not used here. however, i always refer to my hair as natural, afro (used to mean hair type, not the style) or coily.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I would like to take it back, but it's hard when everyone around you uses it as a negative thing. Just the other day a mom was fussing at her son and told him to get his "Nappy headed a**" in the car.

I do use it around my best friend and would like to use it with other folks, but I just know someone would take it the wrong way.

 

[Nonie]

Nappy has NEVER been a bad word to me. It has always meant nothing more than "made of tiny curls" and I have always used it interchangeably with the word "kinky", which also means "made of tiny curls". It wasn't a positive or negative thing. It was a neutral word that described the texture of my hair, just like "straight" describes the texture of Asian hair.

I have always known my hair to be nappy, kinky, coily, curly.... And I have never viewed that as a bad thing. It just was how it is. As true as I am female. Is being female a bad thing or a good thing? It just is. So it has always been with me being nappy. I just am. And while years ago I was indifferent and didn't care one way or another, in recent years, the more I've learned the right way to care for my hair, the more I've discovered its versatility, and the more I've come to deeply appreciate my nappy hair. I no longer take it for granted as just being how it is as I once did; rather I'm truly thankful and ecstatic to be nappy coz I honestly cannot think of any other hair I'd rather have than what I have. I cannot think of any other texture that can just about pull off every do there is under the sun--length considered--the way my nappy hair can. Be it styles that only straight-haired folks can wear, or those that only wavy-haired folks can wear, or those that only those w/ my texture can wear (afros for instance), I can pull them all off! I actually look forward every day to getting home so I can indulge in playing with my hair.

Y'all think I'm kidding when I tell you all I'm about my hair but you haven't spent a day with me and witnessed the uncontrollable HIH from which I suffer.

ETA Disclaimer: I didn't grow up here so I didn't grow up hearing the word used negatively and thus can never see it as those who first learned it as a derogative term might.

 

[RegaLady]

Nappy can be good and bad. I have nappy/kinky hair! I do! When I tell other black women that, they are like how can you say that about your hair?! I don't think it's the word nappy that gets them, because when I say kinky, they also laugh. But, I don't use the word 'nappy', alot. I more so use the word 'kinky' to describe me and my daughter's beautiful hair!

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

nappy = tightly coiled

My hair is nappy and I like it

My hair is nappy and its beautiful

My hair is nappy and its happy to be nappy

So I guess my answer is YES!

But I dont think that nappy is comparable to the n* word.... that has a whole entire different historical significance

 

[Nonie]

Nappy can be good and bad. I have nappy/kinky hair! I do! When I tell other black women that, they are like how can you say that about your hair?! I don't think it's the word nappy that gets them, because when I say kinky, they also laugh. But, I don't use the word 'nappy', alot. I more so use the word 'kinky' to describe me and my daughter's beautiful hair!

They laugh at the word "kinky" because of it's other meaning w/r/t sex. The only other meaning of the word nappy if not tightly coiled/curled, is a baby's diaper which also isn't a bad thing unless it is soiled.

 

[Oasis]

I love my naps.

Nappy is a good word for me.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Nappy is not in my concousnous. Someone decided that we have nappy hair and we are supose to just follow along. We get so used to being insulted that we think it actually defines us. Take the "N" word for instance. I don't use the terms nappy or kinky because of the negative origins and the fact that it's non descript unlike straight, wavy and curly. With those terms you know what people are talking about. And they don't have political affiliations. The fact that kinky and nappy has even crept into scholarly dialogue and professional publications is atrocious.

I define who I am and here are the terms that I use:

Curly
Coil
Spiral
Dense Curl
Loose Curl
Loopy curl
Loose Spiral
Dense Spiral
Spiral Curls
Looped Coil
Spiral Coil
Dense Coil

If you take one strand of your hair you don't see nappy you see either a spiral or a curl. Spirals are actually curls that lay on top of each other, sort of like a slinky. And a perfect match for the DNA strand.

DNA STRAND


DNA STRAND



COIL


COIL


SPIRAL


SPIRAL


SPIRAL STAIRCASE


GOLDEN SPIRAL STAIRCASE


LOOP


Notice that none of these items are ever described as Nappy, nope that is reserved for Black Folks. White folks don't claim it, even when they do have dense curls.

THANK YOU!

 

[kblc06]

ITA... I don't use the word "nappy" to describe my hair... nappy to me means unmanagable, difficult, unruly... word I use to describe MY hair is: kinky, curly, natural.. but never nappy.

The actual definition of the word nappy just means to be tightly coiled (like the nap of a sheep's wool).....however, its true definition, unlike n*gger, is not inherently derogatory term. Just as people use "black" as an insult at times, nappy has been used the same way.

 

[Keen]

Nappy has NEVER been a bad word to me. It has always meant nothing more than "made of tiny curls" and I have always used it interchangeably with the word "kinky", which also means "made of tiny curls". It wasn't a positive or negative thing. It was a neutral word that described the texture of my hair, just like "straight" describes the texture of Asian hair.

I have always known my hair to be nappy, kinky, coily, curly.... And I have never viewed that as a bad thing. It just was how it is. As true as I am female. Is being female a bad thing or a good thing? It just is. So it has always been with me being nappy. I just am. And while years ago I was indifferent and didn't care one way or another, in recent years, the more I've learned the right way to care for my hair, the more I've discovered its versatility, and the more I've come to deeply appreciate my nappy hair. I no longer take it for granted as just being how it is as I once did; rather I'm truly thankful and ecstatic to be nappy coz I honestly cannot think of any other hair I'd rather have than what I have. I cannot think of any other texture that can just about pull off every do there is under the sun--length considered--the way my nappy hair can. Be it styles that only straight-haired folks can wear, or those that only wavy-haired folks can wear, or those that only those w/ my texture can wear (afros for instance), I can pull them all off! I actually look forward every day to getting home so I can indulge in playing with my hair.

Y'all think I'm kidding when I tell you all I'm about my hair but you haven't spent a day with me and witnessed the uncontrollable HIH from which I suffer.

ETA Disclaimer: I didn't grow up here so I didn't grow up hearing the word used negatively and thus can never see it as those who first learned it as a derogative term might.

I feel the same way. Words only have the power that we gives them. I never new nappy was a bad word. I got nappy hair and that's that. I didn't grow up here either so maybe that's why I didn't know it was a negative word. Just like I didn't know n*gger was a negative word. I thought it just man "a black man".

 

[Rain20]

So if a Caucasion or other race besides Black said you were nappy headed would you be okay with it? I really dont like the word nappy. I didn't grow up with it, plus it has been used negatively by Blacks and others. I prefer natural or other descriptive terms for a lot of things including hair.

 

[MonPetite]

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

I agree. I never use this word, and I really don't like to hear it.

ITA... I don't use the word "nappy" to describe my hair... nappy to me means unmanagable, difficult, unruly... word I use to describe MY hair is: kinky, curly, natural.. but never nappy.

I would like to take it back, but it's hard when everyone around you uses it as a negative thing. Just the other day a mom was fussing at her son and told him to get his "Nappy headed a**" in the car.

I do use it around my best friend and would like to use it with other folks, but I just know someone would take it the wrong way.

Nappy is not in my concousnous. Someone decided that we have nappy hair and we are supose to just follow along. We get so used to being insulted that we think it actually defines us. Take the "N" word for instance. I don't use the terms nappy or kinky because of the negative origins and the fact that it's non descript unlike straight, wavy and curly. With those terms you know what people are talking about. And they don't have political affiliations. The fact that kinky and nappy has even crept into scholarly dialogue and professional publications is atrocious.

I define who I am and here are the terms that I use:

Curly
Coil
Spiral
Dense Curl
Loose Curl
Loopy curl
Loose Spiral
Dense Spiral
Spiral Curls
Looped Coil
Spiral Coil
Dense Coil

If you take one strand of your hair you don't see nappy you see either a spiral or a curl. Spirals are actually curls that lay on top of each other, sort of like a slinky. And a perfect match for the DNA strand.

DNA STRAND


DNA STRAND



COIL


COIL


SPIRAL


SPIRAL


SPIRAL STAIRCASE


GOLDEN SPIRAL STAIRCASE


LOOP


Notice that none of thise items are ever described as Nappy, nope that is reserved for Black Folks. White folks don't claim it, even when they do have dense curls.

THANK YOU!

The actual definition of the word nappy just means to be tightly coiled (like the nap of a sheep's wool).....however, its true definition, unlike n*gger, is not inherently derogatory term. Just as people use "black" as an insult at times, nappy has been used the same way.

Be that as it may, my hair may appear "nappy" according to the original meaning but lambs wool is NOT soft. Keep in mind this is why our hair was used as SCIENTIFIC PROOF WE WERE NOT HUMAN! Because we had "WOOL" like animals which is why it wasn't called HAIR. "THEY" had hair WE had "WOOL"....Like animals. It's history is a sordid as the n*word, and yes, the inital use of relaxers -even though now it is just a styling tool. I have no ill-will toward the relax and may relax in the future. Don't know. Have to finish being natural for a year first.

So if a Caucasion or other race besides Black said you were nappy headed would you be okay with it? I really dont like the word nappy. I didn't grow up with it, plus it has been used negatively by Blacks and others. I prefer natural or other descriptive terms for a lot of things including hair.

I use "curly" because that is what it is. Just VERY tight curls. I would NOT care to hear another race use the word nappy to refer to me, because they only know it is a negative word and are thus trying to insult me.

 

[Nonie]

So if a Caucasion or other race besides Black said you were nappy headed would you be okay with it? I really dont like the word nappy. I didn't grow up with it, plus it has been used negatively by Blacks and others. I prefer natural or other descriptive terms for a lot of things including hair.

Absolutely. In fact, when people ask me about my hair, I use the word as casually and comfortably as I use the word kinky and curly and coily. I tell them that my hair is nappy--coz they only ever see me in extension braids. I even undo a section and wet it so they can see it coil up tightly into the naps it is made of. Nappy is a blinking English word that means tightly coiled. It is not an insult. There are places where women are thought of as being way beneath men. So does that mean being called a woman is an insult? It just means those who think that way are ignorant, IMO coz Woman is a being worth recognizing and doing so with awe. She's beautiful and gentle yet strong and resilient. I know better so no one can ever make me think of myself as beneath them, no matter what THEY in their narrow mind think. That's the same with the word "nappy". So I come here and find out that massa called our hair nappy with a look of disgust no different from the way he described our skin. But those w/o nappy hair were house slaves who were treated better than those with nappy hair. So we were brainwashed to think "nappy" didn't describe the true nature of our hair but was instead a word that meant "something we'd rather not have". So we pressed our hair so we'd not see the nappy state. We relaxed it so we'd not see the nappy state. But even sadder, we interpreted that word that meant nothing more than tightly coiled to be an insult. This is no different from TD Jakes' son crying his eyes out when he realized that there's a chance that he could get darker. When did being dark become a bad thing? Again, it's just brainwashing. That something so neutral and so true of us can be turned around to mean "something we'd rather not be".

As for whoever said nappy or kinky are not used to describe coils/springs, could it be because they aren't soft as wool? Nappy was used to describe the sheep's wool or rugs that have that look. To me it is one of the best words to describe our hair. But if you prefer to use "curly", "coily", whatever, then be my guest. I prefer to say "tomAHto" while others say "tomAto" and it doesn't bother me that if you call my tomAHto a tomAto. I still know what you mean. And about accepting insults? OK! I guess that's just like the light-skinned kid who'd rather pass off as not being black. Because to him being thought of as black would be an insult. *shrug* To each his own.

 

[Irresistible]

I am not deeply offended nor deeply affected by the use of the word

 

[MonPetite]

Absolutely. In fact, when people ask me about my hair, I use the word as casually and comfortably as I use the word kinky and curly and coily. I tell them that my hair is nappy--coz they only ever see me in extension braids. I even undo a section and wet it so they can see it coil up tightly into the naps it is made of. Nappy is a blinking English word that means tightly coiled. It is not an insult.

True.

There are places where women are thought of as being way beneath men. So does that mean being called a woman is an insult?

Yes, actually. All over the world to call a man a woman or a "female dog" follows the line of thinking that because a woman is physically (and at one time and in some places still is considered intellectually lacking to men) weaker that being referred to as one implies weakness.

It just means those who think that way are ignorant, IMO coz Woman is a being worth recognizing and doing so with awe. She's beautiful and gentle yet strong and resilient. I know better so no one can ever make me think of myself as beneath them, no matter what THEY in their narrow mind think.

True, but that doesn't erase it's negative usage and the understanding cultivated around that particular usage for hundreds, literally, of years.

That's the same with the word "nappy". So I come here and find out that massa called our hair nappy with a look of disgust no different from the way he described our skin. But those w/o nappy hair were house slaves who were treated better than those with nappy hair. So we were brainwashed to think "nappy" didn't describe the true nature of our hair but was instead a word that meant "something we'd rather not have".

Sheeps wool is NOT soft. Lambs wool is...until it becomes a sheep. Unless you specific refer to lamb's wool, you're NOT describing the true nature of my hair. And the "treated better" deal went out the window closer to the Civil war as the South moved towards Wh*te slavery being the norm and had BLUE-EYED, RED-HEADED, FAIR-SKINNED "blacks" working out in the FIELD. See some of Lawrence R. Tenzer's research on this for those interested. Fascinating stuff.

So we pressed our hair so we'd not see the nappy state. We relaxed it so we'd not see the nappy state. But even sadder, we interpreted that word that meant nothing more than tightly coiled to be an insult.

This is sad, I agree.

This is no different from TD Jakes' son crying his eyes out when he realized that there's a chance that he could get darker.

Sorry, I beg to differ. We cannot assume to know what was in his mind. I was born a certain color, despite it being "high yellow" I STILL was taunted and teased by non-black children. Being "light" doesn't make one "white" or even near the "Club door". I BURN HORRIBLY and have had sun poisoning THREE TIMES. I ALWAYS wear sunscreen and use parasols. IF I were to get a bad sunburn, I wouldn't be crying because I "got darker" it's because that darkening showed me I didn't take care of my skin and when new moles pop up I have to have them tested to be sure it's not skin cancer. I'm concerned about my HEALTH. Not some stupid hierarchy only BLACKS are keeping alive about skin color. Especially when AGAIN, the south had BLUE-EYED, FAIRSKINNED "BLACKS" (who were a 64th African ) working in the fields a bit before the War actually began.

When did being dark become a bad thing?

Since the beginning of time the WORLD over. The difference is back then it was PURELY A CLASS ISSUE. Those who worked in the field verses those who could lounge inside. From India, to the middle east, to Europe, to Asia, to South and Central America this holds true. Now for some this isn't the case: IE in Africa (some parts, others had the same issues) and certain Native American tribes. It was europeans who used it as a measure of CHARACTER and PERSONAL worth. THAT is the stigma that effects minorites EVERYWHERE now. Sad, isn't it?

Again, it's just brainwashing. That something so neutral and so true of us can be turned around to mean "something we'd rather not be".

True, but to ignore it or pretend it can be reversed in ONE generations time would not be good either. It can be -with time. Not saying you're saying that. Just making an observation. You're post is making me think and I LOVE IT!

As for whoever said nappy or kinky are not used to describe coils/springs, could it be because they aren't soft as wool?

Again, wool is NOT soft. Lamb's wool is...puberty hits...then BAM! It is INCREDIBLY ROUGH!

Nappy was used to describe the sheep's wool or rugs that have that look. To me it is one of the best words to describe our hair.

PERHAPS, in terms of the VISUAL, but not the feel. Which is how it was used to "prove" we weren't truly human.

But if you prefer to use "curly", "coily", whatever, then be my guest. I prefer to say "tomAHto" while others say "tomAto" and it doesn't bother me that if you call my tomAHto a tomAto.

Let's note though this is not the same thing. That is an example of accent. Not using nappy because of am understanding of its negative and horrific use throughout history is an attempt to undermine certain sociopolitical ideas that have been ingrained the world over for HUNDREDS of years. That goes a bit deeper than pronounciation.

I still know what you mean. And about accepting insults? OK! I guess that's just like the light-skinned kid who'd rather pass off as not being black. Because to him, that's an insult. *shrug* To each his own.

I certainly hope you don't think all "light-skinned" folks think this way.

From the thought behind your post I know you don't!!

But sadly many in the Black community do. Another issue to be stopped. It bothers me when it comes up as an example of our post-slavery mindset, when it's far deeper than that when you speak of the issue from a GLOBAL perspective. Can you tell I'm am IR major, yet?

I've caught crap from every culture around the world I've lived with growing up, American Caucasions, AND MAINLY OTHER BLACKS for knocking on the "Honey-beige" door. I LIKE how I look, not because it's "light" but because it's ALL I'VE GOT. Nobody apparently likes it because I'm either too dark (for non-Blacks) or too "light" (for Blacks). Darned if I do, darned if I don't. So I have to decide to like what God gave me. If no one EVER tells me I look "right", I will not be ashamed of how I look, which has been described as a "yellow donkey".

What is an INSULT to me is not a non-black man calling me "darkie" (It IS something I will correct him on, but work with me here). The insult is another BLACK woman assuming I am arrogant just from looking at me because I'm "high-yella" and assumes I'm trying to "pass".

I guess her knee-length weave, and blue contacts are just a fashion choice, I suppose.


You raise interesting points and I DEEPLY appreciate the though tbehind your post! Wonderful!

 

[hopeful]

I am not deeply offended nor deeply affected by the use of the word

This is how I feel.

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I've referred to my hair as my hurr, my naps, or my grass (although some people swear I'm talking about pot, I'm really not. Iluvsmuhgrass = I love my hair).

I've heard white people refer to their own hair as nappy (best believe some of them have unruly hair too) and it was funny to me. As different as we are, we have the same feelings when we can't get our hair to do what we want it to or if we don't understand what our hair needs to be healthy and happy.

I'm not offended to hear the term naps or nappy or kinky or cantchadoncha's (can't comb it, don't wanna).

 

[SUZIEq]

Yes! I whole heartedly agree! It's only because of this board why I embrass the word nappy. Before I always thought nappy has such a negative conotation and stigma attached to it. And it does!! This board has helped me to wear my nappy hair out and not give a damm what people say. I have come to realize my hair is what it is......NAPPY!!
Thanks LHCF

I don't believe in reclaiming words. Nappy is still negative in my perception. I've only heard people attempt to use 'nappy' as a positive here on the hair boards.

Lys

 

[Nonie]

Littlegoldlamb, I loved your post too. And I do understand that it isn't easy to change a way of thinking passed on down the generations, just like it isn't easy to change the way I see the word coz for 75%+ of my life, it was never used that way. And when I compare lamb's wool or sheep's wool to springs, then wool is way softer than metal or plastic. Also until recent years, I used to apply 19879874 things to my hair and I would never have called my hair soft. It wasn't until I almost went w/o anything in my hair that its true nature came out. So if nappy meant coarse hair, then wasn't that a fair/honest view with respect to the hair that white folks were used to? Either way, I really can't think of them having taken the trouble to study our hair to describe it in the full spectrum that black hair comes in. It was made of tight coils, reminded them of sheep's skin, and it was...er...er...how you say...nappy!

As for TD Jakes kid worrying about being darker, I got the impression that being in a predominantly white school and the neighborhood he grew up in, he's been fed the lie that light is better than dark...not unlike teenage kids that are brainwashed by images of skinny, lanky models who look like skeletons into thinking that's what one has to be to be beautiful. I don't know if the article was posted on the forum, but I'll try to find it and give the link if you didn't see it.

I don't know if black was always bad. I seem to recall the darker you are the more beautiful you were considered in the Gambia. And while I will admit I've heard people who are light skinned being called beautiful, even in Kenya when they really were just plain, I have NEVER fallen into that way of thinking. To me dark skin always looked beautiful because it was always flawless. I even tried to darken my skin by going on tanning beds, and buying tanning creams--and I'm not at all high yellow. It is this obsession with dark skin that has me in awe of Alek Wek. So when I ask when did dark become bad, I honest to God have always thought of it as absolutely beautiful. Even back when I was superficial and thought looks were everything, I'd not date anyone that was light-skinned. I even remember one very sweet guy that was high-yella whose personality I adored but he was too light for me so he didn't stand a chance. So while I do know about say India and how even w/in families the dark children are considered something to hide and be ashamed of, I have never been able to grasp that way of thinking coz I have always admired dark skin. I remember even envying people who had dark knuckles and wished mine didn't match my fingers!

I used to the "tomato" example just to be funny. I do realize it's a pronunciation thing and not as deep as this word nappy offends some people. But from my point of view, because the word has no offensive meaning at all, using it or not using it is as much one's choice and as innocent as calling a boot a trunk, a bonnet a hood.... It's all just the same thing but we each use the word we're comfortable with. Doesn't make the other person wrong for using that word. Just means we describe the same thing by the word we are most comfortable using. So that's the point I was trying to make. Some may call their hair curly or coily, I will call mine kinky and nappy and curly and coily and all will be well in my world. I love language and love that there are so many words to describe the same thing so I treasure the knowledge and peace of mind I have that nappy means kinky which means tightly curled. English is my third language so I tend to not give words more meaning than their definitions. But I really do understand those who can't help but feel bitterness at the sound of that word. If I am ever around those of you who cringe at the word and I know or remember, I will try to be sensitive and not use the word when speaking to you, especially if describing your hair.

It is humbling and sad to hear the insults you had to endure. I was bullied in school but only coz I was a softy and a nerd. But it was never about my appearance, so I cannot think of words that were used to describe me that hurt me deeply. The bullying I endured in school was just mean girls threatening to beat me up or withdraw their friendship <-- a gift I treasured more than anything else in the world, even if it was of such poor quality. It seems like a joke in the light of what you had to endure but for a kid like me, it hurt deeply and always brought me to tears. And everyone had nappy hair so there wasn't anything worth writing home about there, unless it was long when we all just oohed and aahed.

Anyway, glad we had this chat. And no, I don't think all light-skinned people think like that. Just like I know there are people who will never go natural not because they simply love their hair relaxed but because God forbid their natural nappy hair should ever show. And then there are people who are so anti-relaxers that they almost become insulting to those who relax. To me hair is just hair...and if I didn't enjoy my natural hair as much as I do, I'd have no problem relaxing. And it wouldn't be because I'm trying to be something I'm not. Heck, it's me becoming all the things I can be coz my hair is ALL THAT and bag of chips. Napps rock! A few races can only wish they could sport half the dos I can.

 

[Solitude]

*reads through all the posts* Whew, this thread is deep!!!

To me, its just like the "n" word. If I call my hair nappy or my close friend or mother does, it's just the truth. If someone else called my hair nappy, I might be offended, just depends.

After learning about sites like nappurality and hearing people say they are "happy to be nappy" I think the general attitude is changing among enlightened AA women, and isn't that all that matters?

However, I respect anyone offended by the word and I would never call someone else's hair nappy....unless it was my bff and she really needed to comb her durn hair.