Must revive thread....
Thanks everyone who participated thus far- each contribution has been enlightening. All I can say at this point (and part of the reason I haven't anything til now) is that this is obviously not a cut and dry issue for many of you ladies. Which is a relief for me in a sense because I'm really not sure how I feel about the word nappy. But just to keep some dialogue going, I'll reveal some of my very preliminary thoughts
In my real life I never used the word nappy to refer to hair but anytime I heard the word being used it was being used in a pejorative way. I grew up attending mostly non-black schools and I never heard anyone non-black use the term.
In my online existence, I have seen people use the term to refer to natural hair and without any reflection on the term, I have also used the term myself to refer to my hair. I guess this would suggest that the term was merely a description of a hair type. But as I mentioned I didn't actually think about the term at all before using it. And now thinking about it, I don't really see the point of using a word with such historical negativity-it seems to make things complicated because it's a description to some and an insult to others. Thing is, I don't think I'd want to make nappy the accepted term for non blacks to use in refer to my hair. Why not? I still thinking but I think that the term will never be stripped of it's pejorative connotation. Why use a term that I wouldn't want mainstream America to take and use in stride?
Like mentioned by some, I preferred the term kinky to nappy (though my mind wanders to the perverted sense too) just because it's not as racially loaded.
I don't find the word nappy inevitably offensive but there is so much potential there.
And no, I don't think liking or disliking the term has anything to do with accepting your hair texture necessarily.
OT but I have to say that I find it funny in retrospect the whole curly v. nappy debate I've read on this site and Nappturality or the insistence of using coily instead of curly (when, according to my dictionary, coily isn't actually a word).